Jimquisition: Two Rules For Square Enix

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I just want to see a kingdom hearts 3 sometime before I move out of my parents house. I don't care for playing the games myself, but I do enjoy watching my brother play them.

I cannot honestly believe this. This is the first thing Jim Sterling has ever released that I actually not only sat through, but wasn't annoyed to death by.

Congrads are in order Jim. You climbed a little way out of the pit of shit you buried yourself in.

So you want Squeenix to rush games out, when it's bleedin' obvious the titles they're releasing are both crap and unfinished?

Congratulations, Jim.

SoopaSte123:

AlternatePFG:

SoopaSte123:

I... don't think so. I used to love me some Squenix because of my love for Final Fantasies and Kingdom Heartses, but after the PS3/360 generation came out, I haven't cared about anything they've released whatsoever. Perhaps Deus Ex could change that for us?

Deus Ex 3 isn't being developed by them, simply being published by them.

Ah, well nevermind then. I shall continue not caring about Squenix.

Publishing is no small deal. Eidos might be developing but you're seeing the game on store shelves thanks to Square and since they own Eidos now you'll be seeing other franchises as well, like Just Cause and Hitman.

The Jimquisition logo on the front page isn't very eye-catching. Just sayin'

You know what would be nice? If we could make a rule that no more companies should be allowed to do this. I'm pretty sure I saw the trailer for The Last Guardian like, 2 years ago at least.

This is one of the most frustrating practices of game companies. I much prefer they go the route of Bethesda, and keep mum on shit until they are less than a year out. Not knowing anything about Skyrim was far better than getting a trickle of information in the form of vague screenshots over the course of several years.

They need to focus on Enix's properties more and less on Square's properties. Enough Final Fantasy, let's see some Robot Alchemic Drive or Soulblazer style games.

I don't think the problem with Sqeenix is that they make too many games, it's that they make so many shitty ones.

Sylocat:

It's people like Jim Sterling that are helping prevent gaming from being taken seriously as an art form.

I disagree. It's people like Jim Sterling that are helping prevent game journalists from being taken seriously, and he'd be the first to admit it.

HOWEVER

It is also Jim Sterling, reviews editor of Destructoid, who took a stand to use a 0-10 scale as opposed to the 5-10 scale that game reviews tend to take.

And I personally do not like him. But I respect him for a number of things, especially that.

I think Squeenix's main problem is watering down the lengthy RPG experience.

If you are going to be playing a single game for 70+ hours, you might as well get play the game the way you want.

People call me nuts when I say that Final Fantasy 12 had some of the best game play, out of all of the ff series.

You contrast that to 13 with big ole linear corridors for 35 hours and rigid leveling systems akin to 9 or 10 until much later in the game where you can branch characters out of their niche, albeit at a very high point cost.

And then I lose all my credibility by saying, All I want is a next gen version of Final Fantasy Tactics. God Damn the joy Id feel at a deep, complex, lengthy Srpg with good characters and challenge. It's like chess except when you play smart its like you're playing with all Queens...That get to move 3 times a turn.

XT inc:

And then I lose all my credibility by saying, All I want is a next gen version of Final Fantasy Tactics. God Damn the joy Id feel at a deep, complex, lengthy Srpg with good characters and challenge. It's like chess except when you play smart its like you're playing with all Queens...That get to move 3 times a turn.

You're not alone there. I'm one of the few people who actually enjoyed FFXII Revenant Wings on the DS.

Gralian:

XT inc:

And then I lose all my credibility by saying, All I want is a next gen version of Final Fantasy Tactics. God Damn the joy Id feel at a deep, complex, lengthy Srpg with good characters and challenge. It's like chess except when you play smart its like you're playing with all Queens...That get to move 3 times a turn.

You're not alone there. I'm one of the few people who actually enjoyed FFXII Revenant Wings on the DS.

I only played FFT A2 Grimoire of the rift.

I liked it, but it was a bit shallow compared to the ps1 game, And I was pretty pissed that once you beat it, there where no bonus endgame missions for high level characters or even a new game plus.

I can't be bothered to try the psp ones, because why would I want a psp lol.

Kicking Bishop Brennan up the arse, heh.

AgentBJ09:

Antwerp Caveman:
Yes, it's the first 3 rules. His show breaks all of them.

So does Yahtzee, on a regular basis no less, so your argument is invalid.

Wrong, he supports his arguments.
Jim is a yahtzee wanabee.

Your rejection fails.

Defense:

Mister Linton:
Better solution for SEs problem: Liquidate that pos company and stop making games all together. The game designers can get jobs at Burger King where they will be successful and not painful failures.

Most of their games receive great sales and receive critical acclaim.

"They're painful failures"

Holy shit, this post almost gave me a aneurysm.

Resting on your laurels =/= successful game designers
Yay opinions.

Danceofmasks:
So you want Squeenix to rush games out, when it's bleedin' obvious the titles they're releasing are both crap and unfinished?

Congratulations, Jim.

No he's saying they need to stop dividing their company to work on a dozen tasks (all announced 5 years ahead) and instead focus on two at a time and release info when it becomes available.

I'm not gonna lie, I still don't find Jim hugely amusing, I get where he's coming from it's just not doing it for me. That said, since the start he has gone from strength to strength and I think it may only be a matter of time before I start enjoying his videos. He's dropped the more annoying aspects of the persona for one thing.
Besides which, his points tend to be pretty neat but they're wrapped up in a lot of talk. I'd like to see maybe slightly more being said in an episode (as in, more content, less flashing around). Don't get me wrong, this works. I just think it can work better.

Anyway, agreed with Jim. Squeenix should tighten up their workload, their staff are clearly interchangeable and I'd love to see them take things a project (or 2) at a time.
Oh and a Final Fantasy 7 remake goshdarnit.

There are other problems with Squeenix that are more important.

1. Ever since the merger, the company hasn't known what to do or where to do it. Squaresoft was much better off as a developer back in it's glory days on the PlayStation.

2. For the love of all things Final Fantasy... stop fucking releasing the same 3 games over and over again. There are at least four different versions of Final Fantasy IV that I know about: SNES (as FF II in North America), PlayStation (as part of FF Chronicles), GBA, and DS. Each time they tweak a bit and make it prettier. If they spent that time and effort actually making a new game there might be some progress.

3. Last but not least: Squeenix is only that company by title. Most of the talent from its glory days has left for other pastures: Mistwalker being one of them. Last I checked, they made Blue Dragon and Lost Odyssey, which the latter had to be the best JRPG of this generation.

So as much as I think Jim is onto something, I believe that Sqeenix's problems are much greater than what his suggestions could fix.

Frankly two game announcements per year is being too generous. Either one per year or three announcements for all their unfinished games period.

The thing is that would probably work.

Versus 13, 13-2, and KH-3 are never coming out. Square is trolling us and doesn't care about what they announce/make/etc., as if FF13 and 14 weren't evidence enough of that.

FoolKiller:

2. For the love of all things Final Fantasy... stop fucking releasing the same 3 games over and over again. There are at least four different versions of Final Fantasy IV that I know about: SNES (as FF II in North America), PlayStation (as part of FF Chronicles), GBA, and DS. Each time they tweak a bit and make it prettier. If they spent that time and effort actually making a new game there might be some progress.

There's also a stand alone PSP port of 4 and a PSP port of 4 with "After Years" attached to it. Not to mention the US release of "II" and the Japanese release of "II" are fairly different games due to the localization team being idiots. Also I believe it's going to be showing up on various digital mediums soon. I think when the number of FFIV remakes/ports/versions hits double digits, they'll start releasing new games that aren't terrible.

PixelKing:
The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

unless their gonna do something with Seikendensetsu 3, (IE port it to ... something) then no, they can pretty much fuck right off which leads me to ...

Jim Sterling:
'if SquareEnix watches this humble video in learns from its mistakes'

>.> Jim, buddy, your expecting WAY to much, you gotta better chance of getting threw to Nintendo about Xenoblade, i mean the last passable good Final Fantasy was 10 (read as: TEN!!!!) an that was how long ago? -.- they made nothing worth remembering* in the last decade or so with all the good JRPGs being put out by NIS and Atlus and a few other who names escape me**

*, your mileage may very
**, not a S/E hater per-say, more pissed they've fallen into making crap when they where once one of the best

Didn't much care for the apparent spoilers, FF13-2 or no. That's a bit of a dick movie either way.

Square has always done this. FF9, 10, and 11 were all shown off at the same time. The video of X was just some odd looking guy running through a field, while 11 was just concept art. This really isn't new.

Jim sounds like another angry jrpg fan. Like many, they cannot seem to accept that SquareEnix can be extremely successful without pandering only to them. 10, 11, 12, and 13 all sold extremely well, and had overall critical acclaim (12 especially). I'm not sure why it causes such massive butthurt for these people, but oh well.

v13 looks liked more cliched stuff to me. I'm not that interested. They should have just given the Kingdom Heart fans another game since it is likely aimed at the same audience. Unless those Kingdom hearts games don't sell as well as its fans claim.

I'm quietly waiting for any mention of FF15, personally. The rumor of it being another Ivalice title means I'll wait forever if I have to.

XT inc:
I think Squeenix's main problem is watering down the lengthy RPG experience.

If you are going to be playing a single game for 70+ hours, you might as well get play the game the way you want.

People call me nuts when I say that Final Fantasy 12 had some of the best game play, out of all of the ff series.

12 was up there in my opinion, though it does have nits to pick. Most of the techniques were gimmicks, offensive magic is weak-sauce compared to Berserk and Combo abuse, the Summons were awfully weak for a 90 second duration and sacrificing a party member and a chunk of MP. The license grid seems to be constructed to force you to buy a Bradygames Strategy Guide since you could seriously fuck up your characters if you don't have a map of all the spells, equipment, and augments.

At the bright side, I loved the Gambit system. Gambits and Equipment is where role specialization comes in. Each of my characters have a gambit that fills a niche: Ashe heals, Penelo nukes, Basch maintanks, Vaan steals, Balthier buffs & offtanks, Fran. . . also nukes.

You contrast that to 13 with big ole linear corridors for 35 hours and rigid leveling systems akin to 9 or 10 until much later in the game where you can branch characters out of their niche, albeit at a very high point cost.

And then I lose all my credibility by saying, All I want is a next gen version of Final Fantasy Tactics. God Damn the joy Id feel at a deep, complex, lengthy Srpg with good characters and challenge. It's like chess except when you play smart its like you're playing with all Queens...That get to move 3 times a turn.

Dude, everyone wants another FFT, or at least an Ivalice game on the same caliber. Ivalice is a world large enough to produce a series of quality games like Vagrant Story, but all we get is filler and broken promises (Fortress could have been soooo much of a spiritual successor to Vagrant Story)

XT inc:

I only played FFT A2 Grimoire of the rift.

I liked it, but it was a bit shallow compared to the ps1 game, And I was pretty pissed that once you beat it, there where no bonus endgame missions for high level characters or even a new game plus.

I can't be bothered to try the psp ones, because why would I want a psp lol.

FFT A2 does have Brightmoon Tor. . .

CardinalPiggles:
Squenix has gone a bit too far into the 'publishing shit for lots of money' spiral for me to even pay attention to what they announce any more, I'm sure many people feel the same.

Although I was never very fond of Japanese style games anyway, they always seem a little childish/ feminine to me.

That's natural, you grew up in a different culture. Are stereotypes and ideals are indented into us by an early age, so when we see cultures that do things differently, we tend to be distrubed by it and vice versa.

mrc390:
You only need one rule
Stop making shitty games

Amen to that, too bad it will never happen.

Now if they made a game off of the spirits within or, you know, got into the movie business like they obviously want to they wouldn't be nearly as insufferable.

OT: Jim, you know the idiots at squeenix wont listen to you, They are too busy screaming: "We can still make games that matter, you'll see!" While they are releasing crappy days long linear hallways with horrible, horrible characters.

You forgot to mention that Square needs to go into rehab before it attempts to make any form of aesthetic design.

I'll just leave this here:

http://www.auntiepixelante.com/?p=912

Behold. Jim Sterling in all his glory.

Doc Theta Sigma:
I'll just leave this here:

http://www.auntiepixelante.com/?p=912

Behold. Jim Sterling in all his glory.

i rest my case if this is what the escapist wants as one of their faces then i want nothing to do with this site

How about releasing a game when it's DONE rather than when some impatient gamer #142 wants his gaming fix?

Doc Theta Sigma:
I'll just leave this here:

http://www.auntiepixelante.com/?p=912

Behold. Jim Sterling in all his glory.

Hohohoho

The lady calls him on having to pay for sex and not knowing what a vagina looks like, and Ser Jim goes on railing about his ... bleh ... Listen that's like watching two grown kids arguing endlessly about how they are better than each other. They are both in the wrong here. Seriously, is it ok to call on a man for being a fat loser virgin? They were both in the wrong here, and I'm not even a Jim Sterling's fan. Sure, hate him if you must, but don't try to ignore the smell when it's clearly shit you are holding in your hand.

Normally I dont watch this series, Jim's level of douchey pretension is astronomical in scale.

However he is kinda right about Square Enix. If they would just focus on making one or two games at a time maybe they could get somewhere and we could get past the shitty FF13 crap and maybe get something oh I dont know GOOD.

BanicRhys:
The fact that Jim doesn't bash JRPGs for being JRPGs and that he didn't whine about FFXIII in the slightest raises my respect for him above my respect for Yahtzee now.

Thank God, for Jim.

I was thinking that too, focusing on what could be wrong with a studio taking on a tonne of workload and then announcing more titles and workloads is a very good point.

I'm with you, it adds a lot more to the discussion value other than just "lololJRPGweeaboofagz0rz!!masseffekt4lyf!", of which theres far too much of floating around out there.

MatsVS:

Jennacide:

PixelKing:
The way he said right was funny for some reason, if you watched the vid you know which part.
OT: Does anyone really care about SE at this point?

Very sadly, yes, loads. The same people that will ignore all the glaring issues in FF13 and 14, including all the content that was outright pulled from the game.

Well, if you, like me, are perfectly content pretending FF XI & XIV never happened, the only FF left whose errors you need to skirt around is FF XIII (and granted, there is lots of skirting needed). Now, given that FF XII was marvellous, it's not really that much of a stretch to still hold out hope that either Versus-XIII, XIII-2 or eventually XV will be good.

I'm no longer that naive or hopeful. While FF12 was a breath of fresh air, FF10 had some rather troubling issues. Combat was good, story was typical melodramatic affair, and acting was all over the place. Then came X-2, better know as the abortion of Final Fantasy. FF13 and FF14 were epic cluster fucks, of course, but there are other things to consider.

Look at the change from Kingdom Hearts 1 to 2. Nomura getting full leadership of that project was just grim. Every character got a even more ridiculous design, with tons of belts and zippers. The story went from solid to completely batshit crazy. The cameo's got even more absurd, like bringing in Jack Sparrow or how about the FFX-2 pixies? >=| And then there is the issue of the Little Mermaid bit, or as I call it, the most embarassing moment in gaming. And I liked The Little Mermaid as a little girl, but fuck no, that was beyond stupid. Oh, and let's not forget the crazy ass side games with their obnoxious names. Really, 358/2 Days? REALLY?

And then of course we have the most recent entries in Front Mission, the Mana series, and other crappy spin-off's like Dirge of Cerberus, Crisis Core, and The After Years. (FF4 sequel) All of which were train wrecks.

So while others can keep high hopes for Versus, I don't. I've never been a fan of Nomura's, and I view him as one of the worst things to happen to Square other than the merger. It doesn't help the dev I loved the most at Square, Matsuno, has pretty much agreed with that statement.

Doc Theta Sigma:
I'll just leave this here:

http://www.auntiepixelante.com/?p=912

Behold. Jim Sterling in all his glory.

I'm not one of his fans either, but this is just stupid. Anna even admits Daphny eggs him on, then gets pissed when he slings the mud right back? I'm sorry, but that's straight up stupid. That's basically like picking a fight with a dog, then getting mad when it FUCKING BITES YOU. Judging from his general character, I'd go as far as to wager he intentionally picked those words to get under her skin, and in that regard, mission accomplished.

I will never quite understand how it's expected of everyone that gets the slightest bit of fame to suddenly change thier personality to be PC. Breaking news: this kind of shit has gone on for decades. Many people will go on record saying guys like Milton Burle and Dan Rather were giant assholes in real life. I may not like Jim, but at least he doesn't hide the fact he's a jackass.

Jennacide:
I'm no longer that naive or hopeful. While FF12 was a breath of fresh air, FF10 had some rather troubling issues. Combat was good, story was typical melodramatic affair, and acting was all over the place. Then came X-2, better know as the abortion of Final Fantasy. FF13 and FF14 were epic cluster fucks, of course, but there are other things to consider.

Look at the change from Kingdom Hearts 1 to 2. Nomura getting full leadership of that project was just grim. Every character got a even more ridiculous design, with tons of belts and zippers. The story went from solid to completely batshit crazy. The cameo's got even more absurd, like bringing in Jack Sparrow or how about the FFX-2 pixies? >=| And then there is the issue of the Little Mermaid bit, or as I call it, the most embarassing moment in gaming. And I liked The Little Mermaid as a little girl, but fuck no, that was beyond stupid. Oh, and let's not forget the crazy ass side games with their obnoxious names. Really, 358/2 Days? REALLY?

And then of course we have the most recent entries in Front Mission, the Mana series, and other crappy spin-off's like Dirge of Cerberus, Crisis Core, and The After Years. (FF4 sequel) All of which were train wrecks.

So while others can keep high hopes for Versus, I don't. I've never been a fan of Nomura's, and I view him as one of the worst things to happen to Square other than the merger. It doesn't help the dev I loved the most at Square, Matsuno, has pretty much agreed with that statement.

I consider my youthful naiveté one of my more endearing traits, I'll have you know!

But yeah, Nomura is the dead badger fouling up the toilet-bowl, ain't he? I can't comment on the recent Kingdom Hearts as I thought that was gimmicky nonsense the first time around. And now with extra zippers? Fuck that. All your other criticisms seem right enough, though. Oh, except the FF4 sequel, which I also haven't played. I take you think I'm better off?

Bah, at this point I'm tempted to vomit out some dumb fucking clichés about broken clocks but I won't bother. I have absolutely zero objective reasons for thinking that the games will be good. Maybe I can hope that Nomura isn't actually an idiot, and has maybe even learned something from his own mistakes. Yeah, I know... not very likely.

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