Zero Punctuation: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

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Funny review as always Yahtzee even if YOU'RE WRONG! This one really flirted the line between me just pissing me off enough that it'd stop being funny but it didn't cross it thankfully. I still some great lulz.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to play Goldeneye 007 because it's a fantastic game and anyone who says different is WRONG.

Nice to see Yahtzee gave it pretty much the same review I did.

http://nerdcubed.co.uk/2011/07/09/the-legend-of-zelda-ocarina-of-time-3d-review/

This was the final straw before I sold my 3DS. If nintendo's remakes are just 15 year old ports then i'm out.

Here's hoping first and second gen franchises are put to rest soon! Starting off with Mario!!!!

I thought Twilight Princess and Windwaker were the best Zelda games.
Why?
The Gamecube controller was easily Nintendo's best made controller. I tried the Wii version of Twilight Princess and found that the only difficulty was not overdosing on painkillers as my wrists began to hurt. Ocarina of Time had it's moments ten years ago, but it's not Symphony of the Night, it can't hold up to modern standards like classic 2D platformers.

I'm starting to hate Nintendo. Re-releasing the DS with a hardware upgrade was a good idea, improving third party support is something Nintendo DESPERATELY needed to do, but adding even more stupid fucking gimmicks? Is Nintendo actively trying to cripple us all?

A... the old trick "We donīt need to make a new Zelda Game, letīs just trow the "best" Zelda again, and see how many MONEY we can make this time".

Nintendo you smart devils you :).

Funny thing is a never ever played a Zelda game, and probably never will.

I Don't really know why but the all "Nintendo" concept still eludes me, but since I am not form US that might explain why,I get a felling Nintendo is more loved in US then in all the rest of the World including Japan.

But I sure like to watch Yahtzee reviewing them.It makes me almost have the felling of having played them.
Almost :)

Now the serious part, I am not saying that this game is bad, or that i hate Nintendo or other negative expression. I am just saying I didn't care about Zelda wend I was younger and I still don't care now, and this game wont change this fact.

But I do enjoy the review YahtZee Does about them, especially the names he gives to Link "Fag Balls " is one of my favorites from one of is old reviews If I am not mistaken.

So to some it up I am happy for all the People that love this game and have a chance to play it again in a newer version.
But for me its just another of those game that passes me by like so many others, and that Nintendo is just trying to cash in form it.

Wind Waker is indeed the most enjoyable Zelda.

StriderShinryu:
So, basically, Yahtzee discovered the Nintendo formula. Make one game, or variation on a franchise, and then do nothing but iterate on it for 20 years. My only question is: why did it take him so long?

Isn't this the formula for many a franchise? Most of the Final Fantasy games, Ratchet And Clank, Sonic, Mega Man and, especially, Street Fighter II are guilty of the same thing.

Also:

1. The 3D gimmick really is pointless. My experience with it is exactly how Yahtzee described it. Unfortunately for him, this the only thing he and I agree with.

2. I find it funny that he rags on the N64's graphics, yet doesn't do the same thing with the PS1 or the Saturn.

3. Ocarina of Time is dated. Does it automatically make it bad? No. At least it's held up better than say, the Sonic Adventure games.

I am glad yahtzee has a simaler opinon to me

I may be a nintendo fan girl but I often get in arguments about how Oot is not the holy grail of games and that twilight is better
and the water temple is not mind blowing hard (heck the only hard part is the mini boss dark link but he can be bypassed by cheating and spamming din's fire)

KingCrInuYasha:

StriderShinryu:
So, basically, Yahtzee discovered the Nintendo formula. Make one game, or variation on a franchise, and then do nothing but iterate on it for 20 years. My only question is: why did it take him so long?

Isn't this the formula for many a franchise? Most of the Final Fantasy games, Ratchet And Clank, Sonic, Mega Man and, especially, Street Fighter II are guilty of the same thing.

To some degree, yes. Iterations on a single idea or set of ideas are part what of makes a series into a series. Most other series haven't been going on as long as Nintendo's series have been, and most companies, especially those of Nintendos size, aren't as reliant on releasing essentially the same 4 or 5 games over and over again. They at least try something new. Also, far too many people are so ready to point their finger at companies that are not Nintendo when it comes to this sort of thing and yet Nintendo constantly gets treated like some sort of golden goose.

StriderShinryu:
So, basically, Yahtzee discovered the Nintendo formula. Make one game, or variation on a franchise, and then do nothing but iterate on it for 20 years. My only question is: why did it take him so long?

It didn't. He calls Nintendo out on this every time he reviews a game by them.

triggrhappy94:
Wait, people outside America call indian burns "Chinese burns"?
That's interesting

Yeah I was thinking the same thing.

So is there something in the Escapist contract that says you have to hold the 3DS incorrectly when reviewing a game for it? This is twice on the site where the game has been reviewed (or critiqued) where the writer complained about nonsensical pain or awkwardness from holding the 3DS. It's not a game controller guys, you don't hold it as tightly as you can in your hands.

KingCrInuYasha:
Isn't this the formula for many a franchise? Most of the Final Fantasy games, Ratchet And Clank, Sonic, Mega Man and, especially, Street Fighter II are guilty of the same thing.

No, Sonic is not guilty of that. If it was, the games would still be good instead of bucket of shit after bucket of shit. I guess you could say Sonic is guilty of that recently, but not for his entire franchise.

chickenhound:
and the water temple is not mind blowing hard (heck the only hard part is the mini boss dark link but he can be bypassed by cheating and spamming din's fire)

Dark Link isn't even hard if you went and got the Biggoron's Sword. No need to cheat, just keep stabbing (not slashing) him and he's finished.

I'm pretty much the biggest Zelda fangirl on the planet, but I even I laughed at the review. Gotta laugh at the things you love, or you'll just wind up snapping at everyone with a different opinion.

One of the most boring ZP videos I've ever seen. I think Mr. Croshaw needs a vacation.

StriderShinryu:

...Iterations on a single idea or set of ideas are part what of makes a series into a series. Most other series haven't been going on as long as Nintendo's series have been, and most companies, especially those of Nintendo's size, aren't as reliant on releasing essentially the same 4 or 5 games over and over again. They at least try something new. Also, far too many people are so ready to point their finger at companies that are not Nintendo when it comes to this sort of thing and yet Nintendo constantly gets treated like some sort of golden goose.

Point taken. Not helped by the fact the last new IP Nintendo developed, Pikmin, was roughly ten tears ago. Definitely not helped by the fact that they still won't release the rest of the Mother series here in the States.

StriderShinryu:

To some degree, yes. Iterations on a single idea or set of ideas are part what of makes a series into a series. Most other series haven't been going on as long as Nintendo's series have been, and most companies, especially those of Nintendos size, aren't as reliant on releasing essentially the same 4 or 5 games over and over again. They at least try something new.

They don't do that though. Sure, each series has its core elements that are present in each game, but there's also something to make each game or sub-series unique.

image

Edit:

KingCrInuYasha:

Point taken. Not helped by the fact the last new IP Nintendo developed, Pikmin, was roughly ten tears ago.

The last new IP they made was Steel Diver for the 3DS. Before that, unless I missed something, was Wii Sports.

water lvl wasn't hard. although dark link could have frustrated people that didn't grab biggoron's sword.

honestly im surprised yahtzee still complains about zelda rehashing stuff. tp and OoT both rip from link to the past, which was itself a more fleshed out version of the original. i don't discount any legend of zelda for rehashing, because its a good game. each new one has its own charms and improvements, and was a good game in its own right. while i admit changing it up a little more might not be bad, nintendo has already proven how hard they can screw up.

IMO, zelda is probably better off with small improvements and maybe a few excursions into other stories every now and then. it doesn't need to pull a final fantasy where story, location, characters, and mechanics are all different every game.

I honestly never got the hatred for the water temple, I hated the shadow temple more as a kid (dead hand can go rot in hell, that thing scared me). Besides I loved Dark Link as a boss, I thought he was awesome when I was younger.

I get where Yahtzee is coming from (and I hate how it's almost exactly the same game, they barely even touched the graphics). Hell now I think on it, I agree.

Re releasing a game should only be done to either bring it up to date or to port it to where it could not go before. I make no illusion of my desire for FFVII to be released in high definition graphics, because doing so won't be terrible. The gameplay carries over, FF has learnt some lessons but that game itself is strong enough to stand up wherever you put it down. Ocarina of Time was a great game, still is if you take it for it's time.

But releasing it now without change is silly. The series has progressed, it's evolved over time, the gameplay isn't as solid anymore, or as fluid. Those may contradict but I hope the meaning carries. It needs to be strong enough to stand and with those new games being everything it was but better it's not right to release Ocarina of Time as a full price game with no changes. It's like slapping mascara on the dead cat to show those new kittens who's boss.

Delicious Anathema:
Zelda is so tired by now, even Skyward Sword seems like the same old thing over again.

They should remake Majora's Mask with a decent gameplay and flow, instead of the frustrating mess it was, because the story was there.

except story alone is no reason to make a game. They should remake Majora's Mask because it had excellent gameplay mechanics, AND a decent story.

Interrobangin:
One of the most boring ZP videos I've ever seen. I think Mr. Croshaw needs a vacation.

I thought this was the funniest one he's done in a while.

Hugga_Bear:
I honestly never got the hatred for the water temple, I hated the shadow temple more as a kid (dead hand can go rot in hell, that thing scared me). Besides I loved Dark Link as a boss, I thought he was awesome when I was younger.

I get where Yahtzee is coming from (and I hate how it's almost exactly the same game, they barely even touched the graphics). Hell now I think on it, I agree.

Re releasing a game should only be done to either bring it up to date or to port it to where it could not go before. I make no illusion of my desire for FFVII to be released in high definition graphics, because doing so won't be terrible. The gameplay carries over, FF has learnt some lessons but that game itself is strong enough to stand up wherever you put it down. Ocarina of Time was a great game, still is if you take it for it's time.

But releasing it now without change is silly. The series has progressed, it's evolved over time, the gameplay isn't as solid anymore, or as fluid. Those may contradict but I hope the meaning carries. It needs to be strong enough to stand and with those new games being everything it was but better it's not right to release Ocarina of Time as a full price game with no changes. It's like slapping mascara on the dead cat to show those new kittens who's boss.

Everyone hates the water temple for two reasons:

A) It's a water level with poorly designed(almost every game ever) swimming mechanics (or lack thereof).

B) Rising and Lowering water levels was tedious, and most kids back in the day never looked at the Map screen, as Yahtzee pointed out.

Squilookle:
snip

Just no.

If you still enjoy an old game like golden eye, that's fine. I still like Hexen and Doom.

But to argue that it's on a par with good moderngames is to bump into walls, trip over stumps and generally not see anything because you're blinded by the 16 inch thick nostalgia glasses you've shoved infront of your face.

starwarsgeek:

StriderShinryu:

To some degree, yes. Iterations on a single idea or set of ideas are part what of makes a series into a series. Most other series haven't been going on as long as Nintendo's series have been, and most companies, especially those of Nintendos size, aren't as reliant on releasing essentially the same 4 or 5 games over and over again. They at least try something new.

They don't do that though. Sure, each series has its core elements that are present in each game, but there's also something to make each game or sub-series unique.

image

No one means aesthetic when they say Zelda hasn't changed. They mean the stories formula.

They are essentially all the same. Obviously not exactly the same, but it's more than just a few core elements.

canadamus_prime:

Dfmlege:
I agree that the water temple level isn't that hard, for the exact same reason that Yahtzee mentioned. Pausing the game constantly for the iron boots was annoying, but really, that was it. Personally I found Level 7 in Oracle of Ages to be my least favorite water dungeon in the series, because of the painful swimming controls and some annoying backtracking.

No kidding. Every time some one complains about the Water Temple in OoT, I want to slap them and call them a pussy.

well didn'tknow I could swim under the rising block in the middle tower!

Hate it or not, it's one of the highest rated video games of all time, and for good reason. To have an action adventure game with a cohesive world map that changes over time... it was amazing. I remember being awe-struck just with the day/night cycle and being able to watch the sun rise and set. Even simple things like holding a deku stick in a flame and having it light on fire--Simplistic by today's standards, but when I first got locked in that room with the torches, it didn't even occur to me that I could equip a stick then walk it through fire and it would LIGHT. Games just didn't do that, items were always selected from a menu to be used on designated targets. It was absolutely mind-blowing.

That said, still on the fence with the 3DS. Not really feeling the awesome.

Fuck me it's cold in here....I laughed for a good 5 minutes.

Well that was one of the most entertaining reviews I have seen by Ben. Keep up the great work man.

forsinain42:
Nice to see Yahtzee gave it pretty much the same review I did.

http://nerdcubed.co.uk/2011/07/09/the-legend-of-zelda-ocarina-of-time-3d-review/

This was the final straw before I sold my 3DS. If nintendo's remakes are just 15 year old ports then i'm out.

What did you expect? OoT with different dungeons and plot? Cause there's every other Zelda game out there for that. It was very clear this was a re release "port". So if you expected differently thats on you. I honestly don't know why people buying OoT are mad when they get Oot...

Mechanix:
Fuck me it's cold in here....I laughed for a good 5 minutes.

First time I played this as a wee lad I named myself "Your Mom". After the initial plot point about your mother dying from battle bringing link to the Lost Woods I was very confused at the dialog after that and spend a good portion of the start of the game thinking the plot revolved around links mother. Then I realized that colored text = people and I felt rather silly.

So when are we going to see a Zelda: Majoras Mask 3D? Would you pay $60 for it?

I'm sure this will inevitably be written off as nostalgic fanboyism, but this was one of the worst ZPs in a while. There was virtually no review of the actual game - just blathering on about how people liked the original a lot.

Talking about the nostalgia factor is fine, but you have to actually review the damn thing first. All we get is him saying that essentially nothing has changed (and no mention of Master Quest, the biggest addition?) and that the game isn't as hard as he had heard. Then he spends the rest of the time talking about how people are nostalgic about the game.

And for a person who purports to like a lot of old-school games, I don't really understand how he suddenly has trouble with an unspeaking protagonist, especially when he acknowledges that he even understands why the protagonist doesn't speak. Also, what's all this about Link having more personality in Wind Waker? I guess he has a few more sound effects and facial expressions? I don't really see the vast difference he seems to.

Finally, I have a lot of trouble taking anyone seriously once they start suggesting that entire game companies are just in it for the money. The executives might be (almost assuredly are), but there's no way you motivate all of the people it takes to make a game with money alone. Most of them are there because they like making games and to pretend otherwise just to sound more cynical is really pretty unfair to them (if not downright insulting).

Yahtzee's shtick has been getting old for a while now and this was yet another bit of proof of that. He's rarely very funny anymore and takes shots at the same easy targets over and over, making the same jokes and leveling the same criticisms. Every time he reviews something popular, unless it's absolutely impossible to disagree with public opinion (DNF), he just says whatever he thinks will piss off the most people. It's becoming harder and harder for me to buy that he's actually giving honest reviews and not just trying to be controversial because that's what people expect of him.

TL;DR: Immensely disappointing. When more than half of the video is spent talking about nostalgia and taking cheap shots at Nintendo (the horse is fucking dead already, find something new to talk about) rather than actually reviewing the game, it once again feels like he's just grasping for controversial things to say without making any comments of substance or humor.

Hahaha! One of your best reviews yet in my opinion. Absolutely hilarious. Also yes the water temple was harder when I played it. Then again it was the very first 3D game i'd ever played, also I was 7. However it was the game that made me a gamer so for all it's flaws I still love it.

Abandon4093:

No one means aesthetic when they say Zelda hasn't changed. They mean the stories formula.

They are essentially all the same. Obviously not exactly the same, but it's more than just a few core elements.

Not really. While Ganon trying to obtain the Triforce and conquer Hyrule is the most common plot, it's only present in five of the fourteen games, and each of those five have something to make them stand out:

The Legend of Zelda is, of course, the original and has the most basic plot. Get Triforce, save Zelda. Classic.
In A Link to the Past, Ganon conquers Hyrule Heaven and turns it into Hyrule Hell. So there's a second world and even a secondary villain. And it introduces the Master Sword.
Ocarina of Time uses time travel to show a destroyed Hyrule that you failed to save. At its core, it's both a coming of age story and a hero's journey.
The Wind Waker completely floods the kingdom and you live in the pirate-filled ruins. Deals with a theme of past mistakes.
In Twilight Princess, Hyrule is being invaded by demons. Takes cues from Ocarina and Link, but does not repeat either of them.

These five games share the same three main characters (sort of), setting, and central plot device. They are similar stories. They are not "essentially the same".

starwarsgeek:

Abandon4093:

No one means aesthetic when they say Zelda hasn't changed. They mean the stories formula.

They are essentially all the same. Obviously not exactly the same, but it's more than just a few core elements.

Not really. While Ganon trying to obtain the Triforce and conquer Hyrule is the most common plot, it's only present in five of the fourteen games, and each of those five have something to make them stand out:

The Legend of Zelda is, of course, the original and has the most basic plot. Get Triforce, save Zelda. Classic.
In A Link to the Past, Ganon conquers Hyrule Heaven and turns it into Hyrule Hell. So there's a second world and even a secondary villain. And it introduces the Master Sword.
Ocarina of Time uses time travel to show a destroyed Hyrule that you failed to save. At its core, it's both a coming of age story and a hero's journey.
The Wind Waker completely floods the kingdom and you live in the pirate-filled ruins. Deals with a theme of past mistakes.
In Twilight Princess, Hyrule is being invaded by demons. Takes cues from Ocarina and Link, but does not repeat either of them.

These five games share the same three main characters (sort of), setting, and central plot device. They are similar stories. They are not "essentially the same".

"But they all have bows and hookshots lol."

werewolfsfury:

canadamus_prime:

Dfmlege:
I agree that the water temple level isn't that hard, for the exact same reason that Yahtzee mentioned. Pausing the game constantly for the iron boots was annoying, but really, that was it. Personally I found Level 7 in Oracle of Ages to be my least favorite water dungeon in the series, because of the painful swimming controls and some annoying backtracking.

No kidding. Every time some one complains about the Water Temple in OoT, I want to slap them and call them a pussy.

well didn'tknow I could swim under the rising block in the middle tower!

Is that any excuse for whining like a... *ahem* Anyway...

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