Zero Punctuation: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D

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Squilookle:

Rambo style sometimes WILL get you massacred-
The best difficulty setup ever done-
offline Splitscreen with four players-
massive arsenal of guns that had real weight to them-
No handholding-
cheats-

I was youngish when this came out but I have to give it alot of credit, I loved it.

OO Agent was genuinely hard still brings back bad memories for me and then bond gasps and you die ^_^

Off line splitscreen with the golden gun is good laugh.

Guns well what can I say they leave mot of the weapons from cod in the dirt, dd4's anyone D: handcannons!!!!

Hand holding annoys me to no end, I guess they reckon people are far too impatient these days and just want to get on with it.

I think I knew 2 people who got all the cheats some of them were that hard, still though good times I must say.

I personally think that Super Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Banjo-Kazooie, etc still hold up today without a doubt. I definitely agree that Goldeneye doesnt though (and its hard to say as it was my favourite N64 game).

bue519:
Wasn't the water temple redesigned for this game to make it less hard. So sorry Yahtzee, my twelve year old self is still smarter than you. But don't feel bad, he's probably also smarter than me.

No it wasn't. They just put markers on the walls to tell you which doors led to the places where you can change the water. Dungeon layout is exactly the same, and those markers don't actually make navigating the dungeon any less frustrating. So sorry right back at you, but Yahtzee actually is smarter than your 12 year old self after all.

Rapelay is apparently the third best game ever...

Eternal_Lament:
what was the game in third place?

You don't want to know.

excusablegold:
heh. Rapelay is one of the greatest games of all time now?
Im think going to hell for just recognising the cover.

Ahh well. i too never fully completed Oot in its entirety. i just got sick and tired of having to start at the treehouse EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I loaded the game outside of a dungeon.

Or the Temple of Time.

Never thought of jerking off using the rumble controller. Always learn something watching Yahtzee, guess Id better go try it.

"The great evil king Ganondorf... Beaten by this kid? Fuck me...!" *dies*

I have to wonder what the 'entrance sensitive' room was. I don't remember any such event, except possibly the part where you have to walk out of the Spirit Temple, admitting defeat until Sheik comes along to give you the song you need.

Water Temple is tough but overrated, just because it's not as straightforward as the rest and has some semi-tough obstacles, like the vortexes and the battle against Dark Fuck me.

Gah, lazy Nintendo. I could intuit from the moment the planning phase started that using the L button on a 3DS for something as ubiquitous as Z-targeting is a bad idea. Remakes actually do require some length of thought put into them, particularly when adapting them to a completely different control scheme.

thank god! i'm not the only person who couldn't figure out i need a retarded little fish to get inside the big fish.

Oh, it would be kind of nice to see an extravaganza when Deus Ex: Human Revolution comes out... A nice little deconstruction of all of them. "Zero Punctuation takes on the DX franchise".

You could have...you know...played it on the gamecube...

Eh, be it a much appreciated remake or an obvious cash grab. I am still major fan of the fact I will finally have a travel sized version of OoT.

I haven't read the whole topic but judging from the first page, it seems to me that Escapist users are nothing but a bunch of blind Yahtzee fanboys who are overly bitter about video games and Nintendo and pretty much everything in general...

And I wouldn't be surprised at all if I weren't the first user to point that out.

I remember how insanely excited I was when I first got Ocarina of Time on my Ultra 64 (I call it that, 'cause I'm cool) but I knew things were bad when I switched on the power, the title screen came up and... what? No Zelda intro music? NO ZELDA INTRO MUSIC?!

I was like, uhh... this isn't feeling like a Zelda game, and I've not even started playing it yet. It was downhill from there.

Now I wont deny that Ocarina of Time was a fun game, but it just wasn't a Zelda game.

Seriously, no Zelda intro music! Warning alarm bell sirens went off immediately, and in hindsight, with good reason.

Don;t you DARE call it a Zelda game if it doesn't have the Zelda music, Nintendo!

Olrod:
I remember how insanely excited I was when I first got Ocarina of Time on my Ultra 64 (I call it that, 'cause I'm cool) but I knew things were bad when I switched on the power, the title screen came up and... what? No Zelda intro music? NO ZELDA INTRO MUSIC?!

I was like, uhh... this isn't feeling like a Zelda game, and I've not even started playing it yet. It was downhill from there.

Now I wont deny that Ocarina of Time was a fun game, but it just wasn't a Zelda game.

Seriously, no Zelda intro music! Warning alarm bell sirens went off immediately, and in hindsight, with good reason.

Don;t you DARE call it a Zelda game if it doesn't have the Zelda music, Nintendo!

I don't know if your post is supposed to be a satire of Nintendo gamers being stupidly picky about Zelda.

floppylobster:

Squilookle:
Dammit- I think it's my fault that goldeneye got brought up in this one. Shoulda kept my mouth shut at the mana bar I guess...

Oh well, seeing as I'm here, may as well explain WHY goldeneye holds up.
Non-Linear Levels- pretty rare back then, just as rare now. The levels were often built like actual believable layouts, like Thief was, so exploration was rewarding and there were different ways to do everything.

Rambo style sometimes WILL get you massacred- Forgetting for a moment that it was the first to do stealth in a console FPS, it also did it damn well. Even today if you get lazy you will be overwhelmed. You can still barge through guns blazing in some levels, but there's nothing quite like breaking out of a cell, unarmed, finding some throwing knives, and then taking down absolutely everyone in an underground bunker through patience, timing and skill blah blah blah... these days everything's just a mindless corridor.

The best difficulty setup ever done- There was actually a point and incentive to play on all difficulties. Higher difficulties had more objectives, and sometimes new areas. Each difficulty level unlocked a bonus level of its own when they were all finished too. Modern games STILL mostly don't understand that with a higher challenge there needs to be bigger rewards.

offline Splitscreen with four players- We don't care what limitations you have with a console's hardware, if goldeneye could do it with the 64's measly hardware, you can do it today. I'd go further and say any shooter that doesn't have multiplayer bots like Perfect Dark brought is a step backwards, too. What the hell, Killzone 3? what were you thinking, COD: WAW?

massive arsenal of guns that had real weight to them- I'm not saying all modern games do this but a lot of games make the guns a bit lacking in punch. Even tiny pistols in Goldeneye slide back and bark loudly as the shell pops out in front of a decent muzzle flash as you aimed exactly where you wanted to shoot with your own targeting, not some PC style crosshair trying to work on a controller. And there were more than thirty weapons! and you could carry them all at the same time! Why did you do this to us, Halo? And what the hell, DNF?

No handholding- You got your brief, heard you're objectives, and were thrown in to work it out for yourself. One thing that drove me insane in nearly every Bond game since is the fact that when Bond is out doing a mission, the entire staff of MI6 is listening and offering so called 'advice' all the time, like saying "That vent, 007!!!" as I am facing a very obvious large vent that is filling my screen. A lot of modern games guilty of this one especially.

cheats- Do I really have to explain this one? It's simple- complete a certain mission, on a certain difficulty, in a certain time, and you get a fun reward. Playing with cheats will not unlock the next level/bonus/whatever. It's simple, it's foolproof. It's fun. Thank god Timesplitters continued much of this legacy.

Bottom line is -and I can't believe I have to tell you this Yahtzee- good games aren't just about graphics. Sure the 64 is old and had simpler games in its time, but that just allowed devs to get more done right (in principle, anyway. Nobody forgets Superman 64). There are many 'best game of X console' discussions out there, but it's the N64 that gets the most debate about which of it's games where the best game of all time.

Tell you what though, you were right about the fish offering in OOT. Took me weeks to figure that stupid logic out. And I had never played a zelda game before last year either.

I agree with everything you have said here about GoldenEye 100%.

GoldenEye is still good. The level design IS amazing. The sense of freedom is rarely matched in modern games. Some levels in Call of Duty 2 and Halo have it but GoldenEye had it on every single level. Each level had a clear goal but every time you started the level you really had no idea on how you were going to achieve it. Just like James Bond. In fact I'd watched nearly all of the James Bond films before playing GoldenEye and I didn't really like them. But after playing GoldenEye I suddenly got what made James Bond, James Bond. So I went back and watched them all again and enjoyed them so much more. And there's not many movie tie-in games you could say made you appreciate and enjoy the films more.

Exactly- you hardly feel like a deadly spy when every objective is lit up like a beacon in recent games. Back in the original though, even after figuring it out, you're free to try it a different way, to see if you can still beat it with more odds against you. You can even ramp up enemy difficulty in 007 mode to unbelievable levels if you so desire.

Abandon4093:

Squilookle:
snip

Just no.

If you still enjoy an old game like golden eye, that's fine. I still like Hexen and Doom.

But to argue that it's on a par with good moderngames is to bump into walls, trip over stumps and generally not see anything because you're blinded by the 16 inch thick nostalgia glasses you've shoved infront of your face.

Just yes.

See? I can do it too.

The thing about nostalgia, is that to come into effect you have to have left something alone for a long time. Long enough for the bad elements to fade from memory. Many of those that loved Goldeneye back in the day... are still playing it. It's so good that people just never got sick of playing it, and when game after game comes out that still doesn't learn the lessons and actually improve on the formula- you can hardly blame players from just going back to playing Goldeneye and Perfect Dark.

So enough of this nostalgia crap already. It's hard to be nostalgic about something you never stopped playing in the first place.

RelexCryo:

Excellent Post. Ocarina of Time, and Perfect Dark, were both excellent games. I sadly never got a chance to play Goldeneye, which is why I keep hoping for a port. I just hope the team that does the port doesn't screw it up. The auto aim is crap in the Xbox 360 version of PD, and random number generators hold far to much control over whether your live or die on some levels, like the Carrington Institute Defense level. Whether 1 or 4 guards with super shields happen to spawn in a place you need to run through seems to be entirely random.

But I digress. Those games on the N64, kicked ass. And the visuals were so colorful back then...even with bad graphics, they actually look better in many ways, just because of the colors.

On seeing Minecraft for the first time, the game world actually reminded me a lot of the worlds in Super Mario 64. I think in part this is a reason for it's popularity- it's such a bright, eye-catching place to do your exploring in.

Rare did do an XBLA port of Goldeneye (read about it at http://mundorare.com/news/2008/01/never-say-never-again/ ), but activision took legal measures to block its release so they could bring out their own craptastic version of Goldeneye on the Wii. It's a shame because it's very much in the same vein as Perfect Dark. While PD's multiplayer is much better than Goldeneye's in just about all aspects (maybe not so much in level design), I find Goldeneye had a better singleplayer overall. If you can find it, pick it up by all means.

"Fuck me! Its cold in here!" Lol I've done the same thing in a number of my PSone games that didn't have the budget to add voices, and then endlessly watch the begining cutscene.

I suppose I'm a bit late to the party on this one, but the N64 is easy to emulate these days that I can run most of its games on my PSP (the small screen helps make up for the shit graphics).

Also, while the points about '90s polygons and the controller are perfectly valid, Yahtzee has neglected to remember that some N64 games were still sprite based. And that one of them was called Ogre Battle 64: Person of Lordly Caliber. I played it for the first time last year (on an emulator, because seriously fuck the N64 controller), and it definitely holds up. Sprites tend to age a lot better than polygons, and it's full of really interesting gameplay systems and design choices that appear to have never been used by anyone else ever again.

He's definitely right about 99% of the N64 catalog, though. Most of it is only fun if you played it as a kid.

I honestly don't understand why so many people are so anxious to re-buy this game on a new system. I already played it to death and did every conceivable thing in it at least twice as a kid, just like most of the people clamoring for the remake, and I can't imagine wanting to go back and do it again.

I never finished OoT by myself, my friend and I took turns back and forth, and I think in the end he played quite a bit more than I did...
(but I played more of Wind Waker than he did)

didn't Nintendo say they "fixed" the Water Temple for the DS version?

For some reason I don't recall ever having too many troubles with the water dungeon, though I've only passed the game a few times. I also could never understand the Golden Eye nostalgia I see on the net, as I thought Perfect Dark vastly improved on the engine. Maybe it was the aliens.

I totally agree with the Twilight Princess = OoT + 1. Twilight Princess seemed way too uninventive at first, though it did get better.

Also, can anyone tell me the supposed #2 ranked game ever? It looks very familiar.

We get it Yahtzee you hate Nintendo, now stop complaining with your stupid crap already. And if you did two seconds of research you would have known they remade the water temple so it would be easier but no you have to do you useless bashing for anything that isn't EXACTLY what you like.

Olrod:
I remember how insanely excited I was when I first got Ocarina of Time on my Ultra 64 (I call it that, 'cause I'm cool) but I knew things were bad when I switched on the power, the title screen came up and... what? No Zelda intro music? NO ZELDA INTRO MUSIC?!

I was like, uhh... this isn't feeling like a Zelda game, and I've not even started playing it yet. It was downhill from there.

Now I wont deny that Ocarina of Time was a fun game, but it just wasn't a Zelda game.

Seriously, no Zelda intro music! Warning alarm bell sirens went off immediately, and in hindsight, with good reason.

Don;t you DARE call it a Zelda game if it doesn't have the Zelda music, Nintendo!

Are... you kidding? Every single Zelda game EVER has had different Intro music on the title screen. YouTube 'em. They're all different.

This was a joke, right?

It seems like everyone forgot about Link to the Past on the Super Nintendo. I mean if Ocarina of Time is the cheat sheet Nintendo used to make Twilight Princess than Link to the Past was the true event upon which Ocarina of Time was based: The Subject Zero if you will.

I'm kind of confused at the end; did he actually like it or not? He didn't seem to do a lot of bashing of the actual game, but of the Zelda series overall.

WarriorFH:
I'm completely fine with more yiffing. That was a flaw?

I thought I was the only one who wondered that.

Didn't they scale back the treacherous difficulty of the Water Temple in this version?

Isn't ironic that Majora's Mask barrows music, sounds, graphics, and mechanics from Ocarina of time and yet it's probably the least like Ocarina of Time of any other Zelda game.

Anyways, I am way disappointed in you Yahtzee as I thought even a dumby like you could spot Ocarina of Time's real flaws (declining difficulty and bloated over world.) Instead you complained about how ignorant you are. Think here for a second, what wails eat.

Also, jokes on you, they made the Water Temple easier in the 3DS version.

Ramset:

Olrod:
I remember how insanely excited I was when I first got Ocarina of Time on my Ultra 64 (I call it that, 'cause I'm cool) but I knew things were bad when I switched on the power, the title screen came up and... what? No Zelda intro music? NO ZELDA INTRO MUSIC?!

I was like, uhh... this isn't feeling like a Zelda game, and I've not even started playing it yet. It was downhill from there.

Now I wont deny that Ocarina of Time was a fun game, but it just wasn't a Zelda game.

Seriously, no Zelda intro music! Warning alarm bell sirens went off immediately, and in hindsight, with good reason.

Don;t you DARE call it a Zelda game if it doesn't have the Zelda music, Nintendo!

I don't know if your post is supposed to be a satire of Nintendo gamers being stupidly picky about Zelda.

Ditto. I'm pretty close to over the original theme. It doesn't hold up as well as Zelda's Lullaby (especially when fully orchestrated and properly arranged) or several of the other Ocarina tunes, and to me the Twilight Princess overworld music is far superior to anything I've ever heard in any of the games. That being said, it's about time for the dungeon music to evolve into something more than weird, minimalist crap. It only ever seems to be proficient at best.

Oddly enough, I felt the same way as Olrod during my first 45 minutes with A Link To the Past, and then it quickly replaced the original as my favorite in the series. But I loved every minute of Ocarina, even the cheesy, more cartoonish characters.

Wow, another self indulgent review that merely agrees with everyone else and tells them what they want to hear.
- The N64 contoller was the only way to play FPS's on consoles back in the day. Ever tried to play one on the PS1? It was painful then, and it's painful now.
- 3D sucks blah blah blah migraine because I can't look directly at the screen. Either I have eyes of steel, or everyone else's eyes have become maimed products of too many raves and highs. Ignoring the obvious option to turn it off, I've never had an issue with the 3D. It enhanced the game for me.
- durr smudge marks because I'm too lazy to pick up a stylus
- Feigning ignorance for Navi? Really Yahtzee?
- Later games take up time to develop the stories? Don't play A Link To The Past then. Oh wait, that was before Ocarina of Time. The story isn't spectacular, but they are developed enough.
- Another pathetic attempt to bash the Wii. Really, we've heard it all before. Hell, I remember in the early days of this gen when someone said "You can't tell me you've not seen a single Wii fanboy." Effectively creating the most awkward discussion this gen.

i havent played ocarina of time either

i am gamer ho never played Zelda and i realy don't know what publishers and players see in that game o__________________0

I feel the urge to mention... since Ben Yahtzee pointed it out in the credits...
No the Robin Williams commercial wasn't weird.
It was friggin' great!

Delicious Anathema:
Zelda is so tired by now, even Skyward Sword seems like the same old thing over again.

They should remake Majora's Mask with a decent gameplay and flow, instead of the frustrating mess it was, because the story was there.

I just had a nostalgia flashback that led me to watching this review and probably hooking up the ol' N64 when I get home to replay some OoT awesomeness. I hope I don't hate it. >.>

And I just pretend Majoras Mask never existed... you're right the potential was there but the whole time travel dynamic was just more of a pain than anything.

Also I never knew the water temple was so hard, but when I got the game I guess my mom bought the game/players guide bundle so I always had help. Guess I was lucky.

Well, I never played Goldeneye, and I never really played the original OoT, but I can say that it's probably my favorite Zelda game ever.
Master Quest OoT, at least. The original game is pretty good, too.

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