Zero Punctuation: Call of Juarez: The Cartel

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 NEXT
 

While I hope this doesn't become the new SSBB/Borderlands thing where people ENDLESSLY harp him to death, I fully endorse a Catherine review as well. I just hope Gamefly gets off its ass and sends me the game soon.

So hes not doing Catherine. :(
It would be a good review because of how different of a game it is.
Generic brown shooter reviews are not as interesting because theres little to comment on unless it is really horrible.
I wonder what Yahtzee's reaction to not being able to go to PAX went.

The Virgo:
THERE ISN'T A MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!

That seriously needs to be a de-motivational poster or something ...

image
Ask and ye shall receive.

ScourgeOfHell:
He never liked Call of juarez ??

Erm did you see the bound in blood review? He likes the series. It's just that he hates it when multiplayer ruins things.

I laughed harder than I probably should have at "obese pig"

OuendanCyrus:
I got the same problem ZP has with the co-op, why DON'T you want your co-op friend to help you out better? Unless you're not playing seriously and aiming to screw each other over.

Not really. When I'm playing any co-op mission with a friend or an acquaintance, the spirit of cooperation only lasts about 5 min into the game and the rest of time I/We spend trying to the fuck the other up to the max while completing the mission with the barest possible requirements.

"Hey Steve! Look over there for a second, I'm going to steal these drugs!"

Pure gold. Best line in the past 10 ZP episodes!

CronoT:

The Virgo:
THERE ISN'T A MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!

That seriously needs to be a de-motivational poster or something ...

image
Ask and ye shall receive.

You are perhaps the greatest person in the world right now. :-D

Christmas!

I'm hardly surprised. The wild west setting was the best thing going for the Call Of Juarez series, so setting it in the modern day seems like an utterly retarded shot in the foot on the part of Ubisoft.

If he wants something different, he should review Magicka. A game that actually has a solo and co-op game with each being quite different due to solo actually being solo and friendly fire being on for multiplayer hehe.

Best ZP in ages. All the games that have come out lately have all been good or not bad enough to make really funny interesting reviews. But this one was awesome!

CronoT:
To say this in 'Yahtzee-style'...

"Now having taken the piss out of the tragedy that was 9/11, the video game companies have taken another real-life tragedy and used it to restock their giant cocaine pile. Aren't we all proud?"

Now to provide a little context: I live in El Paso, TX, which is right on the border with Juarez. While I don't want to minimize the suffering and horror of the warfare between the drug cartels in Mexico, exploiting it for some kind of entertainment value is sickening in the extreme.

So, I'll ask this question and then let it go: Why is it that a video game depicting the actions of soldiers, people we're supposed to revere, too controversial for public consumption (Six Days in Fallujah), but a game about a massive criminal enterprise that has killed thousands of people, and will continue to do so to be able to turn a profit, is perfectly fine fodder for our entertainment?

Because Fox news can only call so many video games "the ultimate evil" and blame them for everything from WWII to that boil on Bill O'Riley's arse. That and it may depict soldiers as being flawed, human beings instead of Fox's wet dream.

Fox only pays any attention to video games when they don't have enough gossip about celebs or they think the audience is tired of seeing Glenn Beck cum over John McCain's existence.

Henry921:
They were the 'labors' of Hercules. Which has zero relevance to the rest of the review. I'm just a stickler.

I think you're forgetting that the original word was Greek and thus your attempted literalism is rendered utterly futile.

ReiverCorrupter:

Henry921:
They were the 'labors' of Hercules. Which has zero relevance to the rest of the review. I'm just a stickler.

I think you're forgetting that the original word was Greek and thus your attempted literalism is rendered utterly futile.

Correction: if you're calling him Hercules then the 'original' word would be Latin because Hercules is the Latin version of Heracles. Classics ftw.

Poor Guatemala. We're coming for you.

...I now have a new favourite Zero Punctuation. Non stop laughter from start to finish. Thanks for that Yatzee, I needed a good laugh.

Yatzee:

THERE IS NO MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!!!

BRB, I have to go get some glue to re-affix my ass that I just laughed off.

FiveSpeedf150:

Darth Rahu:
I lol'd at the middle finger bit. Great evisceration Yahtzee, I'll see you next week.

I inhaled shredded wheat when he said that. I've got to stop eating and watching ZP at the same time.

no don't eat, just grab a cold, cold beer and enjoy!

and yes "There isn't a middle finger big enough" needs to be on a tee shirt.... now!

I liked how he used Pimp my gun to create the gun in the first part of the review.

puffy786:
So hes not doing Catherine. :(
It would be a good review because of how different of a game it is.
Generic brown shooter reviews are not as interesting because theres little to comment on unless it is really horrible.
I wonder what Yahtzee's reaction to not being able to go to PAX went.

I'm still waiting for my import copy (Europe here) so I guess it takes al least as long for Yahtzee to get it over there. You might also want to scroll over earlier posts. Just a thought.

coolkirb:
I like how you keep ignoring your fans and refuse to review Catherine, if I were you Id wait a year and do it just because you can

He probably partly waiting for it to be in Australia. A lot of games are released later there than in North America.

Great review as usual.

And: Hurrah for Radiohead being mentioned!

Never even wanted to buy another game from this franchise anyway, they are always crap.

The Virgo:
THERE ISN'T A MIDDLE FINGER BIG ENOUGH!

That seriously needs to be a de-motivational poster or something ...

Second.

So to reflect what everyone seems to be feeling, "there is no middle finger big enough!" is the best expression I've heard in ages.

I hate when a game tries to force you into some form of multiplayer or co-op. I'm a huge social hermit, and would prefer to stay that way without being penalized. The last game I co-op'd on was Portal 2, and I only did that once. Call of Juarez isn't really my thing anyway.

Showing your age with your CD collection reference there Yahtzee.

coolkirb:
I like how you keep ignoring your fans and refuse to review Catherine, if I were you Id wait a year and do it just because you can

UMMM It's not even been announced to come out in Europe,and I do believe Australia is usually last in line for it's videogames,so there will not be a Catherine review,you just have to deal with that.

OT:I agree with Yatzhee on the co-op thing,if you make it as some sort of side mode then it's fine,it doesn't get in the way and allows the developers to focus on things like making the A.I. smart enough to know which end of the gun goes "boom". But like Resident Evil 5,if you focus on co-op,it kills the experience for anyone who just wants to play alone.

The beginning was the same jokes. Again. Same criticisms. Again. Same fan-baiting. Again.

At least there was an actual review this time.

I could see this one sucking from 6 months back. Something about taking a Western game and then slapping it right into a modern time period makes it seem like they decided they wanted to make a Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto type game one day, but couldn't be bothered making up a new story- especially pitiful since those games barely have a story to begin with- and thought they could wring a bit more money out of it by sticking an old series name on it. I don't need Yahtzee's input to convince me not to buy this one.

Jaime_Wolf:
The beginning was the same jokes. Again. Same criticisms. Again. Same fan-baiting. Again.

At least there was an actual review this time.

Well sir if you've gotten tired with how Yathzee tells jokes you can always watch the other stuff on the escapist cause this actual review your speaking of. That didn't happen he doesn't review games. Susan, steve, russ those people review the games here.

KingofallCosmos:

puffy786:
So hes not doing Catherine. :(
It would be a good review because of how different of a game it is.
Generic brown shooter reviews are not as interesting because theres little to comment on unless it is really horrible.
I wonder what Yahtzee's reaction to not being able to go to PAX went.

I'm still waiting for my import copy (Europe here) so I guess it takes al least as long for Yahtzee to get it over there. You might also want to scroll over earlier posts. Just a thought.

Oh yeah right i forgot he lived in Australia. Plus its gonna take a full week to right a review so I guess it might be a month before the review comes out.

While everyone is fawning over the new catch phrase, I'm going to write about something different.

I like how Yahtzee has called attention to the massive lack of enemy variety in recent games. I don't think he's ever mentioned it in his videos till now, though I could certainly be wrong. I simply can't have fun when fighting a bunch of palette swapped mooks, unless I get some nice toys, then I can have fun.

Didnt yahtzee critisize the last Call of juarez for not having co op?

Swifteye:

Jaime_Wolf:
The beginning was the same jokes. Again. Same criticisms. Again. Same fan-baiting. Again.

At least there was an actual review this time.

Well sir if you've gotten tired with how Yathzee tells jokes you can always watch the other stuff on the escapist cause this actual review your speaking of. That didn't happen he doesn't review games. Susan, steve, russ those people review the games here.

Well sir if you don't agree with my post you can always read other posts and stuff on the escapist.

The "If you don't like it, don't watch it and stop complaining." response is unimaginably asinine and pointless. By that same reasoning, you shouldn't have replied to my post - if you don't agree with me, you shouldn't voice your opinion, but should instead go read and respond to other posts you do agree with.

More on topic: I'm not tired of his sense of humour in general, I'm tired of the fact that he levels exactly the same criticisms against every other game and even uses the same jokes to do it much of the time. There's still the occaisional new comedic gem, but they seem to be further and further apart. If he spent more time joking about the game under review and less time reiterating the same complaints about modern shooters every goddamn time, the show would be much improved. And the fan-baiting is only funny when the fans are particularly unreasonable about something. If he made fun of the fact that people overlooked all of the flaws in a game like OoT that would be funny. Making fun of the fact that people like it at all isn't funny, it's just juvenille trolling. And it's such an incredibly transparent attempt at trolling that it isn't even good trolling.

"There is no middle finger BIG ENOUGH!" wins the Quote of the Year award. Bonus points for higher increments of rage you shout it at.

Henry921:
They were the 'labors' of Hercules. Which has zero relevance to the rest of the review. I'm just a stickler.

Actually, they were the δωδέκαθλον in the original Greek. Translate it however you like.

OT, I enjoyed the first Call of Juarez game, even though it committed the cardinal sin of having checkpoints immediately before unskippable cutscenes. It had good variety of play styles between the two main characters and was trying something new.

This iteration I'm not so interested in, though.

maninahat:
The wild west setting was the best thing going for the Call Of Juarez series, so setting it in the modern day seems like an utterly retarded shot in the foot on the part of Ubisoft.

To be fair, utterly retarded shots in the foot seem to be an integral part of Ubisoft's corporate strategy these days...

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here