Escape to the Movies: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

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Wow... i disagree with bob on every point in this episode... Okay that's not quite accurate. I haven't seen "Rise of" yet so i can't say it's a bad movie, however i was hoping it was because i would have liked to see bob tear a new one into a film cashing in on one of cinema's masterpieces.

And the after credits stuff, i actually like patrick dempsey and i could see him playing dr. strange if he grew some facial hair... also it'd be kinda funny seeing a guy most popular for playing a skilled surgeon on TV playing a skilled surgeon that cripples his hands and gets involved in magic.

As for black spiderman... I'm very "Eh, so what?". i don't think it's up for approval or disapproval anyway. Ultimate is only a fringe universe for people who don 't want to study the 30+ years of continuity (like me). If it had been the regular cannon i think there would be more to it.

uh... no thanks, maybe I'm the wrong sort of person for this, but I don't give two shits about the rights of animals... sorry, that's not my thing, I'll help people and even I donate to that organization to feed a kid in Cambodia, but I wouldn't give 25 cents to save a monkey.

Also quick question about 'monkey revolution' where is the army during this? I get that gorillas are big strong things... but they don't have tanks.

also this, just because I think its true and deserves to be reposed again.

Furioso:

Namewithheld:
My problem with the movie was best explained by this quote

"SHOOT THE FUCKING MONKEY! Tell me what kind of super intelligence makes monkey's immune to bullets!"
"But, dude, there are like...twenty of them!"

Somebody watches the cinema snob! I agree with him though, the whole thing is far to ridiculous to make a credible movie, I don't care how thought provoking Caesar is, his army is done the second the swat team shows up

When has a pro nature movie said that things go wrong because people suck?

A LOT!

Nostalgia Critic has pointed out something like 5 examples or something like that.

Quick Question:

Do they define medical testing on monkeys as cruelty to animals or not?

Attack The Block was so terrible, I mistook your credits scene last time as a recommendation.

No one watch that trash.

That little rant aside, this looks alright for a popcorn flick. Good review.

I loved the original Planet of the Apes films (apart from that one with Helena Bonham Carter) so will watch this one.

But not until i've seen the Smurfs.

I may be a grown man but .. come on .. it's the Smurfs.

PunkRex:

summerof2010:
Simian super intelligence aside, is anyone else not just immediately turned off from this movie by the sheer implausibility of the entire thing? Not only is the science behind the Altimeters mega brain serum softer than a pedophile's dick in a retirement home, but as far as I can tell, the pinnacle of primate weaponry is a freaking spear. I mean, yeah, the local police force is going to be flabbergasted at first, and the city where they first strike is going to get steamrolled, but are you trying to tell me that by the end of this the entire might of the world's standing armies can't contend with a legion of monkeys maybe a few thousand strong? Because frankly, that's ape-shit bananas. Pun intended.

I basically said that minutes after you. Im all for the Sci-fi aspects (I love fantasy and sci-fi) but spears, REALLY!? I hope Ceaser pulls some serious genocide, like a new strain of small pox.

I don't see why the apes had to use spears. If they're so smart, why don't they break into the gun stores and start using the guns in there? Heck, they could even have the gorillas use detachable miniguns. xD

Huh.... I might actually have to go and see this one. O_O

"Escape to the Movies" jumped the shark.

It used to be a show that critiqued film, the movie industry, and the movie itself; with a bunch of artsy-fartsy references, a somber voice that pulled you in, and shit like that. And it was good! Now it's just "Moviebob likes a movie for whatever reason".

And, since you like things many, MANY hate; I'd think it would turn into an Armond White-style critic who's reviews delve into you're own psyche, you're understanding of film, or even you're philosophical musings on the world. WHILE BEING FUNNY.

The even older Moviebob reviews on YouTube are, honestly, award-worthy; they were thought-provoking and "pretentious" without being totally stuck up the arse and distracting from the experience. You're Watchman review might be one of the greatest Watchman reviews I've seen, grainy audio and all.

Hell, I honestly think you really could have become a pseudo-Armond White who's also a funny geek; philosophically justifying his like for freaking Sucker Punch by referring to it as an "ironic satire that exposes anti-feminist movies that pretends to champion female rights by confusing it with castrating women of their femininity and, simultaneously, pretends objectifying them is a liberating, 'butch' experience; that thoroughly comes off as a quasi-fascist celebration of 'manliness' and how the status of 'manliness' should be what all women aspire to be, while implying that its the only way they can 'liberate' themselves from the chains of male hegemony". And then making a dick joke.

AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUCKING AMAZING.

You know, I think I could do that...
Anyway, bring old moviebob back.

Shocked that it wasn't trashed by Bob. So, maybe it isn't as bad as we thought, though I still can't make myself spend the money on a ticket. The plot is just too ridiculous. I'll be yelling at the screen "Why don't we just shoot the bastards!?" It would be a no contest fight.

This movie is implausible to me for this reason... for people like this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY5qJHZCz2I

"Some people think they can out smart me. Maybe.... *sniff* maybe... I've yet to meet one that can out smart bullet."

I'm sure that still applies to smart monkeys!

It looked bad to me... I may give it a shot when its on netflix.

The problem with movies today, in a nutshell - instead of approaching a ridiculous premise with "It seems highly unlikely that this could happen, therefore I'm interested to see how the film finds a (hopefully) creative solution to that unlikeliness;" you get "Why don't they just shoot them? The trailer isn't telling me exactly how, therefore it's stupid."

This is why we can't have nice things.

Draconalis:

Crazy_Man_42:
I'm not sure I can really get over the fact that they have enough apes to really start up a revolution in just one city for this movie. But I can still give it a try and know that it can never happen in real life because their will never be that many apes or monkeys in one city that can start a revolution and beat all of the assault rifle carrying SWAT teams, police officers, and Animal Control.

But like Bob said its a fun movie that isn't serious so I will watch it because it actually seems pretty good.

chunkeymonke:
I can't bring my self to watch this movie for 2 reasons
1. Its kind of stupid because theres about 7 billion humans and less than 1 million primates and it's not like he had access to like every jungle in shit so the idea as a whole is just dumb.
2. This isn't how the origional story went and i'm a massive nerd and dislike the massive story change

In the original story Apes had become the new black people. Domesticated to the point of being slaves of use and in every house hold... hell, think "AI" but with monkeys... and they win in the end.

I am aware of this thats why i expressed dislike to the story change ಠ_ಠ

Wow Bob actually liked this one? That came out of left field.

I was kinda expecting this to flop. I mean who knew Franco could turn in a meaningful performace.

I was kinda raised on the original "Apes" films (not by choice belive me) and I didnt care for the Mark Whalberg remake, so I was going to let this pass by.

I'll watch it, maybe online. Not sure bout spending money on it.:P

P.S. That new Ultimate Spiderman costume looks horrible, like a bad mesh between 2099 and symbiote Spidey. Also the Ultimates line sucks hard, I wish Marvel would just give it up.

your review is wearing on me but i still dont think im gonna go see it.

MovieBob:
The problem with movies today, in a nutshell - instead of approaching a ridiculous premise with "It seems highly unlikely that this could happen, therefore I'm interested to see how the film finds a (hopefully) creative solution to that unlikeliness;" you get "Why don't they just shoot them? The trailer isn't telling me exactly how, therefore it's stupid."

This is why we can't have nice things.

Everyone here doesn't have an unlimited amount of money. We have tyo go by what we see in the trailer to justify paying to see it. And if the trailer seems to have huge glaring logical hole then it is not going to entice people to see it.

"Stops short of the usual demonizing of science"

I understand that with your zealous approval of all things under the banner of science (made all too evident in your "big picture" on genetically modified foods, between your characterization of opposition as torch-weilding villagers and complete denial of the existence of the many real concerns involved such as what transgenic modification does to species barriers) how you might think this. However most pictures that delved into the "meddled in god's domain" field usually attributed the failures to something else other than the very existence of science for it's own sake such as science without ethics or science driven by profit or science driven purely by man's own hubris.

They were, if you weren't an inquisitor for the church of science, examinations of man-kind's own frailties on the whole, and the terrible implications those frailties possessed when combined with immeasurable power. But of course your world-view will influence your interpretation of anything.

They should have made it 'Rise of the Planet of the Sick Kittens' or 'Rise of the Planet of the Blind Puppies' so that the plot hole could be filled with 'Why would anyone try and shoot a sick kitten or a blind puppy?'

I was so nervous about this movie not being taken seriously enough. Consider my fears stifled.

This movie is just too Implausible for me. I mean really how are a bunch of smart apes supposed to be a army that has attack helicopters, jets and tanks. Just one napalm strike and it's all over for the monkey uprising. I just don't get how a handful of primates are supposed to herald the end of mankind.

I can't bring myself to watch this movie because I can't get over the premise of the whole monkey revolution thing. It's just too implausible for me.

Seriously, one buttoned up tank would have seen the end of this revolution.

Unless the super intelligence granted super powers as well?

Also, after bob fawning over Captain America like it was the greatest thing like ever (turned out to be merely an ok movie) my trust in him as a critic has taken a hit or two.

Namewithheld:
My problem with the movie was best explained by this quote

"SHOOT THE FUCKING MONKEY! Tell me what kind of super intelligence makes monkey's immune to bullets!"
"But, dude, there are like...twenty of them!"

Snobs unite!

Bob has been fangushing on this harder and more than the worlds most renowned squirt masters in a "who can fill the bucket quicker" competition.

Bob, stop pretending to be a critic. You are a fanboy, and a horrid example at that.

B Goy:
They should have made it 'Rise of the Planet of the Sick Kittens' or 'Rise of the Planet of the Blind Puppies' so that the plot hole could be filled with 'Why would anyone try and shoot a sick kitten or a blind puppy?'

THIS! ITS GENIUS!!!

SteelStallion:
Attack The Block was so terrible, I mistook your credits scene last time as a recommendation.

No one watch that trash.

That little rant aside, this looks alright for a popcorn flick. Good review.

Honestly, as someone who has lived in London my whole life, I was routing for the aliens. It was still kind of funny though but that was proberly down to the language and the fact they were made out to be just a bunch of stupid kids... sort of.

summerof2010:

Link XL1:
obviously im not keeping up on spiderman news, but what did bob approve of about spiderman at the very end of the video?

I thought he was approving of the costume design. At least, I thought it was kind of neat.

He was approving of the new Spiderman in the Ultimate Marvel continuity. Basically, the new Spiderman is a half-black and half-hispanic guy named Miles Morales.

Also, for how the monkeys manage to take over the world (as implied by the movie):

I went to see this movie. It's pretty good.

I'm a bit worried though. I've just discovered that the average dead-dead creatively-bankrupt Hollywood movie producer is smarter than your average Escapist reader. Of course there's an explanation for how the apes win and why they didn't just, "Shoot the monkey!"

1. Love the ReBoot reference
2. Gorilla vs Helicopter? AWESOME
3. Sounds like a must see, so shall do.
4. ????
5. PROFIT!!!

Would someone PLEASE, for the love of all that is holy, give me a Planet of the Apes film that is about a man struggling against a world gone mad and made to suffer the question, "what is a man?". Then make him suffer the pain of institutionalized oppression.

I'm really not interested in a Planet of the Apes film that does not even understand the point of having a planet that is populated by apes. It's not for it's own fucking sake.

Okay, I missed the Lord of the Rings reference. Where was it in the movie? Anyone tell me? (use spoiler tags if necessary).

I'm not really all that interested in this one because for one I never liked the original series or the remake (not a big fan of monkeys, I find they're over used like penguins). But for the final part of the video when Bob points out the Doctor Strange casting, I agree, it should be Powers Boothe, he might be getting old, but that's what Just for Men is for.

MovieBob:
The problem with movies today, in a nutshell - instead of approaching a ridiculous premise with "It seems highly unlikely that this could happen, therefore I'm interested to see how the film finds a (hopefully) creative solution to that unlikeliness;" you get "Why don't they just shoot them? The trailer isn't telling me exactly how, therefore it's stupid."

This is why we can't have nice things.

God Damn right. There is a reason you didn't reveal anything about the last act besides "they win."

Doesn't anyone want to see their expectations turned around? To be surprised by a creative twist? What else are you people going to see? The smurfs? Captain America again?

I want nice things.

I knew I was going to see this movie before I saw your review. Nice to know that it might actually be a good movie. Thanks for the review Bob.

I'll check this one out, can't be any worse than the Burton one.

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