All Your Base Are Belong to Mom

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lithium.jelly:

Shadow-Phoenix:

By your logic right there a 50yr old man could be living with his 75yr old mother and be "Labeled" a child which makes no sense on the matter.

Is the 50 year old still being looked after by his 75 year old mum, and has he never lived away from her? Then yes, he is a child no matter his age. The key is that an adult (mostly) takes care of himself. In the situation you describe, I would expect the man to be looking after his old mum rather than being taken care of himself.

Plenty of legally adult members of society live with their parents these days, mostly due to economic realities. Whether it be a death of your significant other, a job redundancy, lack of pay rise, it mostly boils down to money.

This does not mean that being under your parent's roof means you're a child. A good few of people I know who are stuck under their parents roof either chip in with household chores (As your would with roomates), rent payments and handling their own issues like washing, iron, cooking etc.

To say that a person living with their parents is being looked after by the parents is short sighted. The parent is basically a landlord/lady at that point in your life. Unless they're incredibly overbaring in which case you probably sold a kidney to make sure you could get out of that house asap.

thenamelessloser:
Why the automatic saying move away from mom? It almost seems sexist somehow.

It's typically the mother of the family who is likely to cause awkwardness in this kind of situtation. As it's a guy were talking about his Dad is more likely to be cool with the whole thing, but it's more an issue of general privacy.

PrinceOfShapeir:
The whole concept of the 'Friend Zone' has always puzzled me, like it's impossible to simultaneously love someone and be friends with them. Maybe it's because I grew up in a house where my mother and father weren't just in love with each other, but were also friends. From everything I've been able to gather, the Friend Zone doesn't actually exist - chances are good that anyone who's gotten friendzoned by a woman never had a chance with her in the first place, one way or the other.

The friendzone is where you are attracted to another person but they wish to "just be friends" typically caused by you not quite getting the message that you've got no chance with this person romantically.

On a side note, women (and men) can avoid having a friend in the friend zone by being blunt about the lack of chemistry. If you let them down too gently they'll think they still have a chance with you. If the message doesn't get through, think like them.

Ask them if there is a type of person they find physically unattractive on a subconsious level. A person who, despite being the bestest most brilliant person in the world who many people would do unspeakable things to even spend 5 minutes with, they simply do not get aroused by in any way. For examples sake, I personally do not get sexually excited by black women. I don't know why and it's most certainly nothing racist, I can look at an attractive black woman and acknowledge that she's attractive but there won't be nothin' goin' on downstairs.

If a woman then said that I was like a black woman, I'd get the picture instantly and move on. That, for me, is how to be blunt without being a twat about it.

InterAirplay:
epic snip

I think that not wanting to talk about a friend's guy problems is reasonable so long as you don't blow up about it. If you make it clear in a calm, polite way that you don't want to hear about that, then you'd still be entirely in the right.

Other than that, I agree. The Friend Zone is a myth invented by shy people who have no clue how romance works because they don't want to face the fact that they have problems.

OT: I gotta say, I really like these articles. Mostly because they're funny; I don't necessarily agree with what is written, but damn if it isn't entertaining.

ultrachicken:

InterAirplay:
epic snip

I think that not wanting to talk about a friend's guy problems is reasonable so long as you don't blow up about it. If you make it clear in a calm, polite way that you don't want to hear about that, then you'd still be entirely in the right.

Other than that, I agree. The Friend Zone is a myth invented by shy people who have no clue how romance works because they don't want to face the fact that they have problems.

OT: I gotta say, I really like these articles. Mostly because they're funny; I don't necessarily agree with what is written, but damn if it isn't entertaining.

OK, saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to hear about this" to a friend is reasonable, but bear in mind that a friend should also be willing to listen to her problems when it matters.

I guess the thing that annoys me about it is that these guys only complain about it because they're delusional, and get it into their heads that THEY, somehow, are the best guy for the girl. To put it simply, they only complain about HER complaints because they think that she wouldn't have any, if only she wised up and got with her "friend", because they arrogantly believe that they, somehow, are better than these guys. Amazing how narcissistic people can be.

InterAirplay:

ultrachicken:

InterAirplay:
epic snip

I think that not wanting to talk about a friend's guy problems is reasonable so long as you don't blow up about it. If you make it clear in a calm, polite way that you don't want to hear about that, then you'd still be entirely in the right.

Other than that, I agree. The Friend Zone is a myth invented by shy people who have no clue how romance works because they don't want to face the fact that they have problems.

OT: I gotta say, I really like these articles. Mostly because they're funny; I don't necessarily agree with what is written, but damn if it isn't entertaining.

OK, saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to hear about this" to a friend is reasonable, but bear in mind that a friend should also be willing to listen to her problems when it matters.

I guess the thing that annoys me about it is that these guys only complain about it because they're delusional, and get it into their heads that THEY, somehow, are the best guy for the girl. To put it simply, they only complain about HER complaints because they think that she wouldn't have any, if only she wised up and got with her "friend", because they arrogantly believe that they, somehow, are better than these guys. Amazing how narcissistic people can be.

Or, perhaps it's because it can be really painful to listen to someone you "care" about (whether or not the obsession is a result of love is usually ambiguous) talking about their romantic exploits. And being a friend doesn't mean listening to EVERY problem. As some undisclosed person said who you quoted, "your feelings are important, too."

ultrachicken:

InterAirplay:

ultrachicken:
I think that not wanting to talk about a friend's guy problems is reasonable so long as you don't blow up about it. If you make it clear in a calm, polite way that you don't want to hear about that, then you'd still be entirely in the right.

Other than that, I agree. The Friend Zone is a myth invented by shy people who have no clue how romance works because they don't want to face the fact that they have problems.

OT: I gotta say, I really like these articles. Mostly because they're funny; I don't necessarily agree with what is written, but damn if it isn't entertaining.

OK, saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to hear about this" to a friend is reasonable, but bear in mind that a friend should also be willing to listen to her problems when it matters.

I guess the thing that annoys me about it is that these guys only complain about it because they're delusional, and get it into their heads that THEY, somehow, are the best guy for the girl. To put it simply, they only complain about HER complaints because they think that she wouldn't have any, if only she wised up and got with her "friend", because they arrogantly believe that they, somehow, are better than these guys. Amazing how narcissistic people can be.

Or, perhaps it's because it can be really painful to listen to someone you "care" about (whether or not the obsession is a result of love is usually ambiguous) talking about their romantic exploits. And being a friend doesn't mean listening to EVERY problem. As some undisclosed person said who you quoted, "your feelings are important, too."

If it's painful, then the person should explain to their romantic interest why. I have no problem with someone who has made their feelings clear respectfully refusing to take part in that discussion, but someone who has hidden these feelings with the intent of getting closer to this individual (without having to man up and come clean to start with) and has willfully taken the position of "friend" or been put there because the girl isn't attracted to them should not be sitting around listening to something that they either cannot listen to or don't care about simply because they want to satisfy their own obsessive ends. And they most definetly should not attempt to justify this with "you wouldn't be complaining about guys if you were with me!"

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