When Jesus Is Your Lord and Cockblock

When Jesus Is Your Lord and Cockblock

We come across the rare case of someone happily friend-zoned.

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Happy Where I Am, I respect you so much. Good on you. /brofist

I'm in that same situation and have no intention of backing off. I did once before with another friend and I ended up losing her because she noticed the rift I had caused. Never again. Stick with it.

Lara Crigger:
Love FAQ: When Jesus Is Your Lord and Cockblock

We come across the rare case of someone happily friend-zoned.

Read Full Article

Heathen: Religion is among some of the top-ranking factors when it comes to long-term compatibility. This is simply because religion isn't like hair color or your favorite ice cream flavor -- if you truly believe in what the religion teaches, it is a lifestyle. It impacts your choices, your goals, how you raise your children, all of it. And the two of you already don't even agree on how important a role religion plays in your life...

Respecting her beliefs is one thing. That shows you can "coexist." Long-term relationships aren't about "coexisting." They're a partnership, even if kids never enter the picture. If partners are playing by two different sets of rules, miscommunication is guaranteed.

Tyrol: Been there. It sucks. Best answer? Cut all ties. Completely. She's already demonstrated that you are little more to her than a convenient emotional distraction. You're her "hobby." You should demand more than that for yourself. And when she has a problem and wants to re-start her hobby? Do not do this. It isn't worth the price you'll inevitably pay.

What makes this especially hard is that it means looking into relationships that aren't long-distance. Those can be much scarier. There's something about yourself that you're not sure of, which is why you prefer even a bad long-distance relationship... there's something you want to avoid facing in a close-up relationship. My guess? You're not sure who you really are yet, what you want out of life, and thus what you want in a partner. Take some time, make new friends, find yourself. It'll make sharing that "self" with someone in person much easier.

Happy: Hope for the best. But prepare for the incoming storm. You will not be the cause of it, though. Eventually, there's going to be a "New Relationship, Us Against the World" phase... and you're going to be cut out for awhile. If you raise a stink about it, she will choose the other guy -- folks in new relationships are way too eager to see this kind of thing as a "test," and they want to "pass" it by choosing the boy/girlfriend.

You don't have to do anything "wrong" for this to happen, either. So don't take it personally. You're a guy, he's a guy, so there's going to be this eventual feeling of having to make a choice. If you give it the proper time, and don't try to hold your "territory," things will even out over time. Again, just don't fixate on thinking it's some problem you have to do something to fix.

Ha, the Lonely Heathen could well have been me considering I was in that exact situation this February, you gave the right advice Lara, everyone has some sort of criteia for a potential partner and trying to change someone-else's isn't going to work, plently other better suited people around.

Jebus is still important to so many.

I come from the N.T backwoods, where we laugh at a lot of things, especially the behaviour of the city-folk. I came to the city years back, and I see religion is dug in deep here. It is respected, it is socialised, it is institutionalised. That is how it gets the next generation, it has ample opportunity to scoop at least some in.

Lonely Heathen,

You don't want to date a Christian.

Firstly, as far as Christians are concerned (to use a common metaphor), you're about to get hit by a bus. Christians are good people (as good as any other people, anyway), and they don't like people getting hit by buses. So, being a good person, Christians tend to try and pull people out of the way of the oncoming bus (i.e., evangelizing).

The problem is, you don't believe there's a bus. Whether or not there's a bus is irrelevant; she's thinks you're in imminent danger in a way you can't possibly comprehend, and you like standing where you are.

I want you to think about what it means for someone to be a Christian: they think 2/3 of the world is going to a place of eternal torment. And they see these people every day. Family. Friends. People on the street. The Starbucks barista. Eternal torment. There's two basic ways to deal with this:

1. Evangelize and try to save everyone. This is hard, because it will never happen. 100% of the world will never be Christian. This leads to disappointment and heartache as they realize they can't save everyone, and people they care about are damned.

Or, more commonly,

2. Don't care, and don't think about it. Most Christians do this because it's easier and involves less personal torment. Friends going to Hell? Don't think about it. Maybe summon up the courage to say, "You know about the bus, right?" once, but don't bring it up again. The barista at Starbucks? Just don't think about it.

But there's one place they can't not think about it: their significant other. Imagine the person you love more than anyone else in the world, the person you'd die for, the person you'd kill for, was about to be hit by an actual bus (no more metaphor, a physical bus is hurtling down the road at the person you love). This person you love is looking the other way and is firmly convinced there is no bus. You're pulling on her arm, trying to drag her out of the way of the bus, but she is determined to stay right there because she doesn't believe there's a bus.

Think about what that would do to you every day. Impending bus about to kill the person you love. That sounds like the most anxiety-producing lifestyle I can imagine.

So, why does a Christian not want to date you? Because she believes you're about to die, forever, and she will live, forever, without you. Why would she want to date you when that is the only probable outcome? The only possible happy outcome for her is if you convert to Christianity, which your snarky comments would seem to prohibit.

And then we get to children. Do you even want children? She probably does (most Christians get on with the baby making in the early- to mid-20s). Why would she want your atheism polluting and confusing her children who, I guarantee you, she wants to be Christian (so they can all live together forever in the afterlife)?

Remember: whether or not the bus exists doesn't matter, we're talking about Christian motivations, Christian feelings, and Christian behavior. She is rejecting you because you don't share her worldview, you don't share her values, you don't share her goals for her children, and she doesn't want the person she loves more than anyone else in the world to be someone headed for eternal wailing and gnashing of teeth. You, in her view, are all of these things she doesn't want.

So, you have two basic choices:

1. Give up.

2. Look into Christianity. Who knows? You might like it. If you convert to Christianity (and I mean actually convert, not, "Hey, I'm a Christian now, wanna date?") ask her out again.

I suppose you have a third option (try to convert her to atheism), but know that actively working against her faith, in her mind, essentially makes you allied with Satan.

"and nobody wants to sleep with someone they think is an insensitive jackass."

My roommates have time and time again disproved that statement.

@lonely heathen.

Lie to her, pretend you converted, or actually convert. Fuck her, use her, milk her dry then convert back.

Option 2, if you really do care, don't know why you would, she's whack for believing in talking snakes, but if you DO care. Convert, and work from the inside to get her to be an atheist, muslim, buddhist or whatever religion you're on.

If it doesn't work when you're still together, tell her you can't take the bullshit anymore and you're going back to whatever religion you were on. If she truly cares about you she'll consider converting, or at least respect your beliefs and try to co-exist with you. If not then no big deal, you break up, at least you fucked her already.

@Tyrol

Kids get this up that thick skull of yours right now! Friends are overrated. Especially female friends. There a billions of people in the world, all can be your potential friend, they are a dime a dozen.

There is nothing you can get out of one friend that you can't from another, unless they're in prestigious positions.

With a guy friend you can be drinking buddies, wing man in games, competitor in games and you can even pour your heart out when the girls rip it apart and he'll understand your pain. You probably can't do that with a girl, even if you could it'll be rare.

Separate the hole for your penis from your friends.

Damn, number eight's got some interesting views on women and relationships. I tend to find that it is more easy to talk to girls about stuff and, as the post above exemplifies, guys just don't care all that much ("at least you fucked her already." Really? Pretty insensitive man).

Good advice, I think. There is some stuff which is applicable to situations I see myself getting into - friends as girls and etc.

*Chuckle* First time I've read this article. The advice is so blunt it's almost transcendant.

My dad's an atheist and my mom's a Christian. Trust me, you don't want to deal with that. They're still together, but the religion issue has really strained things over the years. Best to forget about it and find someone you're on the same page with.

ExtraDebit:

Separate the hole for your penis from your friends.

You must be absolutely drowning in women.

ExtraDebit:
@lonely heathen.

Lie to her, pretend you converted, or actually convert. Fuck her, use her, milk her dry then convert back.

Don't do this

Option 2, if you really do care, don't know why you would, she's whack for believing in talking snakes, but if you DO care. Convert, and work from the inside to get her to be an atheist, muslim, buddhist or whatever religion you're on.

also don't do this

If it doesn't work when you're still together, tell her you can't take the bullshit anymore and you're going back to whatever religion you were on. If she truly cares about you she'll consider converting, or at least respect your beliefs and try to co-exist with you. If not then no big deal, you break up, at least you fucked her already.

Right because if she cares she will convert, but if he cares he shouldn't convert.

@Tyrol

Kids get this up that thick skull of yours right now! Friends are overrated. Especially female friends. There a billions of people in the world, all can be your potential friend, they are a dime a dozen.

The only people who truly believe that "Friends are overrated. Especially female friends" are the ones who have none

There is nothing you can get out of one friend that you can't from another, unless they're in prestigious positions.

Having friends isn't about getting things from them

With a guy friend you can be drinking buddies, wing man in games, competitor in games and you can even pour your heart out when the girls rip it apart and he'll understand your pain. You probably can't do that with a girl, even if you could it'll be rare.

Girls do all of these things with guys

Separate the hole for your penis from your friends.

A girlfriend/spouse/significant other should be your closest and dearest friend.

In short the advice I have quoted seems to come from someone in a dark place in their life, and if either of you are decent humans (which from your letters I would guess you are) ignore all of this advice it won't help you find what you are looking for.

artanis_neravar:
snip

You deserve a medal or seven.

Shakomaru:

artanis_neravar:
snip

You deserve a medal or seven.

Whether that is sarasm or not I will gladly take those medals

artanis_neravar:

Shakomaru:

artanis_neravar:
snip

You deserve a medal or seven.

Whether that is sarasm or not I will gladly take those medals

No sarcasm at all. Those medals are well earned.

Shakomaru:

artanis_neravar:

Shakomaru:
You deserve a medal or seven.

Whether that is sarasm or not I will gladly take those medals

No sarcasm at all. Those medals are well earned.

Well thank you then

ok..
Guy with relgious girlfriend, absolutely no good can come from you staying with her. Inevitably, she will have to choose between her religion and you, and the decision will not be pretty
Guy with long distance cheat, you are should be greatful the long distance proved she wasnt worth it. Im guessin you moved to a desert or something which is why you are still hanging out for her

Guy with friendship, you arein the right, dont worry about it, but for the love of god, do not cockblock your mate in any way, shape or form

Azuaron:
Lonely Heathen,

Snip

This was a very well-informed comment, I enjoyed reading this as much as the article. Thank you for posting it. :)

@artnis_nervar

This is about giving the best advice for the guy in question, it's not moral advice or "lawful good" advice. It's about what the guy should do that he would come out on top.

Don't be naive, the world isn't made up of disney characters, it's a hungry dog eat dog world. Exploit and milk the others dry, one can never lose that way.

You sound like someone that gives "just be yourself" advice. What I'm giving is advice gained from real experience and wisdom gained through trials and tribulation. In life you don't get shit for being a nice guy, you need to be fucking evil, and when I say evil I don't mean being a stupid asshole that try to destroy the world. I mean being like Light Yagami from the Death Note series, pretend to be good and get everyone at your side while secretly exploiting them.

ExtraDebit:
@artnis_nervar

This is about giving the best advice for the guy in question, it's not moral advice or "lawful good" advice. It's about what the guy should do that he would come out on top.

Don't be naive, the world isn't made up of disney characters, it's a hungry dog eat dog world. Exploit and milk the others dry, one can never lose that way.

You sound like someone that gives "just be yourself" advice. What I'm giving is advice gained from real experience and wisdom gained through trials and tribulation. In life you don't get shit for being a nice guy, you need to be fucking evil, and when I say evil I don't mean being a stupid asshole that try to destroy the world. I mean being like Light Yagami from the Death Note series, pretend to be good and get everyone at your side while secretly exploiting them.

My advice is from real life experience to, and no, you get further when people like you, not push over like you, but like you because you have a strong personality and help them when they need it, because then people are going to help you when you need it. You don't think that's true? Then I feel sorry for you but it is.

And you didn't give the best advice for them, you gave them advice that has been mired in your negative experiences. Neither of them were asking about sex, the first guy was looking for a real relationship, no one based on lies or meaningless sex. The second guy was asking about a friendship which has no connections to sex at all.

A fun, fit, Christian girl who dabbles in games?

Can I get her number? :)

Yeah, I fell for a Christian recently and she appeared to fall for me. A fun, fit Christian girl who dabbles in games no less. It would be absolutely fine in terms of faith but there's one wee snag which prevents us from being together. The whole pre-marital abstinence thing. It's a buggerance.

PAGEToap44:
snip

Though one should realize that "abstinence" is more or less entirely about whether you get connected down low. Unless that's your only desire it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

As for the "heathen" guy, well, tough luck I guess, some people just want shared beliefs.

A guy who wants to stay in the fried zone? Whoa. That really is quite the rare occurrence.

Also, the girl cheated on him for 2 whole years? That is just so messed up. I get that you care for her and all, but I would not be friends with her after that. Sure, maybe all is forgiven, but just let it go. Well let "her" go.

I know someone who has said several times before that it's impossible to have no desire or sexual tension between you and a friend of the opposite gender (or same gender for gay people). I do think that's quite bullshit. I'm pretty damn sure there's no underlying tension when my best friend's wife kicks my ass at beer pong. No, the tension's right upfront because she's hardcore and I can't beat her to save my life!

See, I have this mental hangup (though it's actually a helpful thing) where girls in relationships are just not desirable or attractive to me...the 'persona non nookie' concept as the sagely Randall Graves once said. Then again, I'm an emotionally stunted introvert who has yet to ever even be on a date or have a legit crush, so my experience might be a bit incomplete and myopic. Oh well, not like I care.

PAGEToap44:
Yeah, I fell for a Christian recently and she appeared to fall for me. A fun, fit Christian girl who dabbles in games no less. It would be absolutely fine in terms of faith but there's one wee snag which prevents us from being together. The whole pre-marital abstinence thing. It's a buggerance.

Are these kinds of girls popping up all over the place? I had a similar problem about 2 weeks ago. As futile as I know it is to say "move on", you fall for who you fall for, and that's that. There are other ways for you to connect sexually than to actually do it, and trust me, people are a lot more weak-willed than you think. If you got together with her, and it lasted a decent amount of time, she'd probably end up succumbing to her more baser instincts anyway, unless she's totally devout.

The girl I liked was very realistic. She admitted to me how hard it was to keep away from that stuff, though she was a virgin. Naturally I assumed that meant she'd done other things (was revealed in a later conversation), and it was at this point I thought, "fuck this". I'm wasting my time. Good luck to you bro', but religion and everything it entails can be cause huge divides if you aren't on the same page about absolutely everything.

From what I've seen, opposing religious beliefs is one of the all-time best and most supremely effective ways to utterly incinerate a relationship.
Now if both members aren't really devout or dedicated, and don't really believe what they believe, like if one is like, "Yeah I'm a Christian, just because my parents are. I don't pray for my food, I go to church... sometimes, I don't necessarily believe in God" and the other is like "Yeah I'm Jewish but I haven't been active in the religion since I was twelve" then it'd be fine.
But a Christian and an atheist... yeah, that probably won't work. You, The Lonely Heathen really seriously need to understand her smart decision to not try getting into a relationship with you. Being a dedicated Christian is a really big deal and takes a lot of discipline, Protestant Christianity is one of the least extreme in that regard.

I'll admit, I didn't read the article, and don't plan on it. Just not into dating columns. But, I saw the text describing the article, and I have to say I'm in that position- a friend of mine and I recently, and subtly, and without actually stating it, agreed to just stay friends for the best. I'm a bit sad, but it would end up ruining so many friendships, probably including ours, that I'm definitely happy it happened this way.

That's all I was gonna say, but then I saw this:

ExtraDebit:
@lonely heathen.

Lie to her, pretend you converted, or actually convert. Fuck her, use her, milk her dry then convert back.

Option 2, if you really do care, don't know why you would, she's whack for believing in talking snakes, but if you DO care. Convert, and work from the inside to get her to be an atheist, muslim, buddhist or whatever religion you're on.

If it doesn't work when you're still together, tell her you can't take the bullshit anymore and you're going back to whatever religion you were on. If she truly cares about you she'll consider converting, or at least respect your beliefs and try to co-exist with you. If not then no big deal, you break up, at least you fucked her already.

@Tyrol

Kids get this up that thick skull of yours right now! Friends are overrated. Especially female friends. There a billions of people in the world, all can be your potential friend, they are a dime a dozen.

There is nothing you can get out of one friend that you can't from another, unless they're in prestigious positions.

With a guy friend you can be drinking buddies, wing man in games, competitor in games and you can even pour your heart out when the girls rip it apart and he'll understand your pain. You probably can't do that with a girl, even if you could it'll be rare.

Separate the hole for your penis from your friends.

You are a depressing, shallow, greedy person, and I seriously hope I never have to deal with anyone like you for as long as I live.

I pity you and people like you.

Lara Crigger:
Love FAQ: When Jesus Is Your Lord and Cockblock

We come across the rare case of someone happily friend-zoned.

Read Full Article

While you may or may not be an atheist you must not give a shit one way or the other with a thread title like this. :P

ExtraDebit:
@lonely heathen.

Lie to her, pretend you converted, or actually convert. Fuck her, use her, milk her dry then convert back.

Option 2, if you really do care, don't know why you would, she's whack for believing in talking snakes, but if you DO care. Convert, and work from the inside to get her to be an atheist, muslim, buddhist or whatever religion you're on.

If it doesn't work when you're still together, tell her you can't take the bullshit anymore and you're going back to whatever religion you were on. If she truly cares about you she'll consider converting, or at least respect your beliefs and try to co-exist with you. If not then no big deal, you break up, at least you fucked her already.

@Tyrol

Kids get this up that thick skull of yours right now! Friends are overrated. Especially female friends. There a billions of people in the world, all can be your potential friend, they are a dime a dozen.

There is nothing you can get out of one friend that you can't from another, unless they're in prestigious positions.

With a guy friend you can be drinking buddies, wing man in games, competitor in games and you can even pour your heart out when the girls rip it apart and he'll understand your pain. You probably can't do that with a girl, even if you could it'll be rare.

Separate the hole for your penis from your friends.

because all women are exactally the same right?.....anyway I think your idea of what freindship is (and what females are) is a little screwed up

am i missing somthing, or does that last letter sound suspiciasly like the harry ron hermie love triangle? also, hahahaha theists, you so silly.

A guy once broke up with me when he found out that I don't consider myself "saved." He's missing out (I'm kind of awesome), but if that's what he wants, I can't change that. It sucks, but go find a girl who wants all of you.

Well, when it comes down to the facts, if she goes to church, and you're not gonna go to church with her, it's a no-win situation.

If you've ever been cockblocked by a christian conscience, either yours or the person you're after - you may find this book amusing :)

Cockblocked by Jesus:

https://www.facebook.com/696424197117325/photos/a.696427787116966.1073741828.696424197117325/696427507116994/?type=1&theater

or

www.cbbj-novel.com

 

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