Zero Punctuation: Battlefield 3

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Zhukov:
I have to say, Yahtzee's whole ignore-that-multiplayer-exists routine is getting a bit stale. Yes, the single player was woeful, but it's a primarily multiplayer game. I mean, would you review Left 4 Dead without including the multiplayer? After all, it can be played solo.

Although, I guess that EA was kind of asking for it in this case, considering how much they hyped up BF3's bloody campaign.

He's said it before. He doesn't give a shit about the mutiplayer and niether do a lot of people. Something I can sympathize with. It's one of the reasons I've written off Battlefield 3 because it's essentially a mutiplayer game, which I don't like. And it pretty much forces me into the COD camp, because at least COD can do single-player(I played BC2, hoping for a good singleplayer experience, and found it a bit lacking. It really felt they were trying way to hard to stick it to the MW games instead of making an actual good singleplayer game on their own terms).

I'm also disappointed he didn't mention the rat fight.

Not G. Ivingname:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Battlefield 3

After a brief respite, Shooter Season 2011 returns with Battlefield 3.

Watch Video

The Multiplayer actually has worse problems if you can believe it.

EVERYTHING has to be unlocked. While this as big a problem for people on the ground shooting each other in the face, since a gun is only so much better with the Red Dot compared to one that doesn't, you need to unlock almost everything for aircraft to.

If your starting the game and you manage to get one of the team's jets, your limited to a machine gun. This makes you completely useless against any target on the ground, but it makes any dog fight basically onesided as well. Since you get the jet's unlocks by destroying things in the jets, you basically can say goodbye to every taking flight since at least one team mate is going to have flares and missles and is going to make that aircraft much better then yours

Yes, I agree. However its also a major fact thats keeping people like me returning to it all the time, because I want to unlock everything. And you only need 2 unlocks for the aircraft before you can use it just as well as anyone else no matter how much unlock they have. And thats the flare and missiles.

Granted, I think those 2 should probably have been unlocked before you start off. I think I died somewhere around 6 times before I unlocked those. I did, however, do it in one game where I was a tad lucky with my rubbish opponents.

With the helicopter. You don't really need to unlock anything as long as you have a good teammate who has flares. Of course, 6 perks instead of just 3 is a huge bonus :)

Paragon Fury:
Yahtzee, you're trying to be funny. We know that.

We also know that you don't like multiplayer. And aren't very good at it to boot.

So why you insist on wasting our and your time reviewing games primarily based on multiplayer which we all know you're either A - Not going to play or B - Hate anyway is beyond me. Why not simply just stick to reviewing games that are more your preferred style? The Dark Souls, Zeldas, Painkillers, Portals ETC.

You'd still find plenty to rip on and plenty to say you like, without wasting a week on a game you'll never even see 90% of.

Erm...he's not wasting anyone's time. You're the one wasting your own time watching the video even though if you've watched any of his previous videos, you should know that he hates multiplayer.

Secondly, he's already reviewed the current Zeldas, both portal games, and he wasn't really a fan of Demon's Souls, so I don't predict him chomping at the bit to play Dark Souls. Thirdly, this is shooter season 2011. Ergo, he reviews shooters.

ph0b0s123:

Yahtzee should just recuse himself from reviewing battlefield games if he is only capable of reviewing at most half the game. I have an excuse for not reviewing it as well. Blame the spyware you would have had to have loaded to play the best version on the PC. That could have been quite funny....

Would be a valid point if he was a reviewer, alas he is not. He is a critic, a comedic one at that.

On a totally different note I truly dislike the fact that I can't watch videos on the escapist from my iPad. Ah, Well, I'll have to wait until I get home...

uberhippy:
Why must we have the next in the streek of brown-Grey shooters,,,

We should have a technicolour, fantasical shooter, you know,, one thats fun?? :)

Stop stealing my crackpipe and get on the bandwagon hippie.

Spent two hours playing Battliefield 2 and then one hour Battlefield 3. Can't decide if BF3 is a proper sequel or not. I'll guess I have to wait for Back to Karkand to arrive so I can judge it properly.

This review made me happy. Happy enough that I don't even need to palmface over the people complaining about no multiplayer review.

I really feel like I should be adding something else to my post... But that's probably just me procrastinating in order to avoid actual work.

Ah yes. As he himself pointed out in the Gears of War review: if you trash the singleplayer, everyone defends the game by saying "no one plays it for the singleplayer."

This is an argument that never ceases to become less retarded the more times its put out there. A singleplayer campaign is a big investment for a studio, it means a lot of time programming scripted events, creating a level design that fits the mission, it means paying extra voice actors, it means producing lots of cutscenes... in short, it costs at least a substantial amount of money.

Given how happy certain major publishers are to cut out anything that's not considered 'vital' to the game and either not give it to us or make us fork over DLC for it, why on earth do these games keep coming out with singleplayer? If so many people apparently have reached the consensus that no one cares about it, surely EA would have gotten wind of that and thought "Great! That's a whole less team we have to employ for this game!"

If it's in the game, it can be judged accordingly. Meanwhile, it doesn't matter how compelling the multiplayer is, because the greater internet fuckwad theory will be enough to ruin the experience if you don't like being screamed at through a headset mike.

LOL

"You must reach a minimum level of Suck My Cock Battlefield 3"

Yep. Read my mind on that one. I just DGAF anymore with these FPS games anymore. Everyone wants to focus solely on the multiplayer that the campaign itself falls short of Anemic.

Hell MW2 proved that and I can only hope to God MW3's story doesn't contain just as little content as its predecessor.

So until then I shall await for Yahtzee to review Sonic Generations

The Fry and Laurie reference near the end made my heart warm.

Madara XIII:
Everyone wants to focus solely on the multiplayer that the campaign itself falls short of Anemic.

Kind of a shame it sells so well

Taunta:
Erm...he's not wasting anyone's time. You're the one wasting your own time watching the video even though if you've watched any of his previous videos, you should know that he hates multiplayer.

Additionally, I have a feeling most of the people complaining would be complaining about him NOT covering the game. Remember That co-op shooter that everyone was clamoring for him to review? Tetris (I might be mistaken on the name)? Yeah, he played that, after people kept whining about him not reviewing it, then a lot of people still complained because he doesn't like multiplayer.

Y U NO REVU BATTLEFIELD YOTZY?

I'm not saying this so much to defend Yahtzee, but because we've seen it before. I think it was similar around Smash Bros.

I understand his argument about focusing on single-player in reviews but in this case it seems a little ridiculous. I don't think there are any or nearly any customers who are going to buy Battlefield 3 because they thought the single player would be any good. Yahtzee said in the past that he considered himself a critic above an entertainer so surely it would make sense at least in the case of Battlefield to spend some time talking about the multiplayer since that is the criteria on which everyone who buys the game will judge it.

Norix596:
I understand his argument about focusing on single-player in reviews but in this case it seems a little ridiculous. I don't think there are any or nearly any customers who are going to buy Battlefield 3 because they thought the single player would be any good. Yahtzee said in the past that he considered himself a critic above an entertainer so surely it would make sense at least in the case of Battlefield to spend some time talking about the multiplayer since that is the criteria on which everyone who buys the game will judge it.

And a critic is still not a reviewer.

If you want a review, there are ton of them. There's probably one on the Escapist. I don't know, because I don't give a damn about MW3, BF3, GOW3, ROFLMAO3 or RESP3CT. Still, an interested person could probably find people who are actually going to review it.

Norix596:
I understand his argument about focusing on single-player in reviews but in this case it seems a little ridiculous. I don't think there are any or nearly any customers who are going to buy Battlefield 3 because they thought the single player would be any good. Yahtzee said in the past that he considered himself a critic above an entertainer so surely it would make sense at least in the case of Battlefield to spend some time talking about the multiplayer since that is the criteria on which everyone who buys the game will judge it.

He has reviewed some mutiplayer only games before, and he usually doesn't like them(more so then usual). Even World of Warcraft, which considers the best of the lot, he still didn't like it and only played it because he had a free week(end?).

And when he talked for five minutes about how much he hated having to play the mutiplayer, or at very best, coming up with new and interesting things to bash about the experience, mostly due to the kinds of people one often sees on these kinds of games(everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about), people would still be whining.

He didn't even like Team fortress 2 that much, and probably only said as nice things about as he did( It's really polished) because he's pretty much a valve fanboy(still pining for Episode 3, like so many of us out there).

Yahtzee reviews a game heavily geared towards multiplayer and complains the single player wasn't very good.

If I like the game, he is wrong.
If I don't like the game, he is right.

Anyway, I only buy games for multiplayer if it has a good single player as well. From all accounts (not just Yahtzee's) BF3 does not.

Enjoying the MW3 single player though. Can't wait until Yahtzee calls it shit in 2 weeks.

P.S.: I'd like to point out that in MW3 that's a part at the end of the first mission where a chopper comes to pick you up while you're in the middle of a gunfight, and you can get into the chopper as soon as it shows up. No fucking around waiting for the right dramatic moment. It's there, you're there, you're free to jump in as soon as you like. You got shit to do.

P.P.S.: In my view, even if a game is heavily SP oriented the single player should showcase the game mechanics. The multiplayer can only really be reviewed on the experience a person has in multiplayer. To this, I'd like to raise two points:

1) Yahtzee DID review the multiplayer. It seems to me that getting sniped while you're busy looking for people hiding in shrubbery is a pretty apt summary.

2) Multiplayer is pretty much user-generated content. Your experience hinges on whether you have a good connection, a good team, opponents who are playing in a way that provides a positive experience for you, etc.

This is basically like asking Yahtzee to review Little Big Planet based on the quality of the user-created levels.

Ah, BF fans. The Nintendo fanboys of the FPS and PC world. How lovely.

Awesome little video, and one I figured I'd liked since I consider the BF series a mediocre time sink at best, something you play with your mates when you have little time.

Undead Dragon King:
Wait, when did you ever start trusting the EA marketing department, Yahtzee?

OF COURSE they'd say the single player was just as important as the multiplayer. And not just because they're EA. Hell, they let BioWare get away with saying that ME3's multiplayer is purely ancillary.

It's common knowledge by now that you play Battlefield 3 for the multiplayer, and almost every single review of the game acknowledges that. I don't think you gave the game a fair shake overall, but then again, ripping apart a mediocre campaign is kind of your forte.

Stick with what you're good at, I guess. Just don't act like the entire game is unoriginal just because one part of it is.

So, what precisely is original about yet another multiplayer shooter? Do the 12-year-old trolls teabag you in new, exciting ways?

I wish Dice would stop pissing around with single player. none of their battlefield games have had a good story to validate a single player inclusion. 1942 was simply a tutorial and thats all what this game needs. no one buys it for single player.

Yahtzee, you've got to start reviewing the multiplayer component of games at some point! You're starting to sound al lot like the ESRB and their "Online interactions are not rated". The concept that a game can only be judged on the singleplayer is starting to be obsolete.

uberhippy:
Why must we have the next in the streek of brown-Grey shooters,,,

We should have a technicolour, fantasical shooter, you know,, one thats fun?? :)

are you trying to sell a my little pony game with guns?

OT never was gonna buy this game and the all power Y was never gonna change my mind on this!

Pendragon9:
I'm sorry to say this, but I'm sickened by anyone who ever bought Battlefield OR Modern Warfare.

You are a cancer on the industry and kindly need to jump off the face of the Earth. I don't care if you think it's fun, but it's not. Your opinion is wrong. Why do I say this? Because the games are just literal rehashes of the previous games. NOTHING has changed which would warrant a 60 dollar purchase.

Good day.

In the words of our lord and saviour Kurt Russell; well fuck you too.

Ah, funny as always. Still, I got this on release, and I've been enjoying the multiplayer quite a bit, only playing the first level of the campaign to learn the controls (because that was even necessary)

But yea, I've actually had quite a bit of fun with the multi-player, though lag is still an issue, jets are pretty poorly implemented, and really, having to unlock EVERYTHING, including weapons/add-ons for vehicles? Where the hell is the logic in that? More importantly, rolling around in a tank still feels awesome, and that's what really matters.

ph0b0s123:
As I predicted here some weeks ago, no mention of the multi player game which is the main point of the Battlefield series. The justification for this by Yahtzee was pretty laughable.

The bit complaining about not being able to fly a plane and that the engine would be good for a flight sim, would been very funny if that was not precisely what happens in the multiplayer game.

Yahtzee should just recuse himself from reviewing battlefield games if he is only capable of reviewing at most half the game. I have an excuse for not reviewing it as well. Blame the spyware you would have had to have loaded to play the best version on the PC. That could have been quite funny....

I've heard BF fanboys say the series was never about the SP, and thus it doesn't matter if it's mediocre to poor.

Considering how much they bash COD players for paying for "rehashes", that's kind of hypocritical.

SkarKrow:
...The campaign was boring. Not even appalingly bad, just boring...

At least CoD manages to make it's campaigns somewhat interesting!

Best ending to a review I think I've ever witnessed. If only more reviewers were that frank, it would certainly spice up the likes of IGN.

He didn't even like Team fortress 2 that much, and probably only said as nice things about as he did( It's really polished) because he's pretty much a valve fanboy(still pining for Episode 3, like so many of us out there).

He did say that TF2 was a multiplayer experience matched only by competitive breast massage in his Portal 2 review, so I'd say he liked it a bunch.

Surprised he didn't go on about the lens flare at all, yes BF3 you have a lighting engine *clap clap* now can you stop blinding me everytime i look at any sort of light source?

The single player isn't bad really, it's boring... To me boring is so much worse than bad

uberhippy:
Why must we have the next in the streek of brown-Grey shooters,,,

We should have a technicolour, fantasical shooter, you know,, one thats fun?? :)

We had one of those a while back, it was called Halo: Combat Evolved. It took place in a myriad of interesting levels that ranged in colour from lush greens and browns, stark blue-grey installations, purple covenant battle cruisers and weird orange-brown squishy intestine levels. It featured enemies in every colour of the rainbow, an asortment of weapons that would choke a goose and a storyline a little more thought out than 'terrorists in the middle east have nuclear weapons, are you a bad enough dude to stop them?'

You remember what happened? Oh yeah, everyone said it was the worst shooter ever and went back to Modern Warfare and Battlefield.

I sit smug in my superiority that I recognised the brown gritty realistic shooters for what they were back in two thousand and fucking one, yet apparently no one else saw this coming.

It is the fault of everyone who bought MW and BF that we are now in Shooter Season 2011 and nothing more interesting that a shit stained dishrag has come out. I am not one of those people, and I certainly didn't ask for this dirge of repetitious shooters.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Fuck it, I'm going back to the jRPGs.

So many "THIS IS A MULTIPLAYER GAME!" For one thing, how can you review multiplayer games if your experience to it is randomized to whom you play it with? With such "uncontrolled" experience, I don't think anyone can justify or measure it's worth.

For every online matchup, its a given fact that the person who have just started playing it and is grouped randomly to anyone will have a shitty time by not having every content (NEED TO UNLOCK!) as well as having zero cooperation with his dick partners. While, of course, the other person who have unlocked more content and already have a group of friends which have coordinated everything will have a grand old time.

This is not crafted by professionals to create the experiences they want you to have. And that's the reason why Yahtzee also hates User Made Content.

Every single time I watch Yahtzee screams of him wanting the game industry to be more like a book/movie (not a bad thing, mind); good storytelling fused in gameplay, as well as creating a unique experience based around what the devs planned you to experience. You cannot do this in Multiplayer when your uncooperative teammate friendly fired at you to teabag your corpse.

He's on the money about the single player, I know I haven't bothered finishing it; And yet I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking that Multiplayer is the elephant in Yahtzee's room. Even giving a nod to it he still managed to completely ignore it. Oh well.

Prof. Monkeypox:
The gelatin creature calls him Benjamin?
Is it weird that I'm fixated on that fact?

...You do know that's his name, right?

Unfair in a way with not taking into account multiplayer with that being the main point of Battlefield.

That being said EA did write themselves into a corner by focusing on a campaign orientated marketing scheme. Also Black Ops stole the interogation thing from BLACK did they not? In which case EA initially came up with that concept. Could be wrong.

Oh and I really wish he'd leave Gears alone haha I love it but am not one of the people he made out at the beignning.

Either way entertaining review!

Abedeus:
Multiplayer-focused series?

REVIEW SINGLE PLAYER ONLY.

Someone make a meme with captcha and so on...

He did mention the multiplayer, but he didn't like it and if he did go in depth chances are he'd berate it probably.

The single-player is way too scripted, linear, filled with quick time events and enemies which totally ignore everyone except you (which is often a lot of people) and have simply incredible ability to notice and shoot you.

But really, the single-player is pretty damn irrelevant for BF3. The multi-player is good. It would be nice if the single-player was good, but... it isn't. The game is still worth it easily, unless you don't like multi-player at all.

cdstephens:
It doesn't seem fair to only review a multiplayer based game's single player campaign.....you're basically picking out only the weakest part of the game and then ranting on about it while ignoring all the other parts. It'd be like only reviewing an MMO's level grinding while ignoring the raids or the PvP.

It just seems like Yahtzee is a noob when it comes to multiplayer imo. Just because you don't like a part of the game doesn't mean you shouldn't ignore it when you're talking about whether the game is good or not, otherwise, you come off as a biased prick.

Maybe it's because

"A $60 should be able to stand up on its single player merits alone"
Ben Croshaw.

OT: I predicted this.

Kopikatsu:

uberhippy:
Why must we have the next in the streek of brown-Grey shooters,,,

We should have a technicolour, fantasical shooter, you know,, one thats fun?? :)

The new Serious Sam comes out soon. BFE, I think it was.

There's always Halo, which is extremely vibrant. Bulletstorm also made a go of it. Oh, and there was Brink by Bethesda, but I heard that it didn't live up to expectations. The Far Cry series was also fairly colorful. Of course they decided to put Crysis 2 in New York, so that's a bit of a let down.

But the market has spoken. People like military shooters because they have the best multiplayer, which is what most people are interested in (with the exception of Halo). Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll set the next CoD in South America so we can fight in a tropical rainforest. But don't say that people are ONLY making brown military shooters. The brown military shooters are just the most popular and well polished.

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