Critical Miss: The Dragonslayer

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The Dragonslayer

In their tongue he is Mervakiin, Merchantborn!

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Let the knuckle dragging warriors deal with the Mudcrabs, there are dragons to fight!

Ok, now that was genuinely funny.

Good job, probably my favourite comic as of yet.

I think the NPCs are communists.

If one of them has a problem, the entire city will fight to the death to resolve it,

Yeh, seems like the people who gave you a quest to go kill Uber Powerful mage number 234 seem to be willing to try to kill you, a person who could probably kill you in one shot. That is quite unrealistic, albeit funny.

Heh, that was funny. I mean, I don't get the point of it (Unless it's that Skyrim NPCs can be ridiculously tough and will punch the shit out of dragons if need be, AKA the Dragonslayer horse), but that was just funny anyhow.

Skyrim, home land of the nords; where even a simple merchant who's afraid of mudcrabs will grow a pair and throw down with a dragon!

Thank you, haven't laughed this hard in a long while! xD

I thought the core gameplay was roughly the same.

Isn't that like saying "I hated the core gameplay in Smackdown vs Raw 2010, but I'm thoroughly engrossed in the gameplay of Smackdown vs Raw 2011?"

Insert annual football title if wrestling is too much.

Alwayd love it when a dragon appears and everyone is charging it.

btw The Elder Scrolls 3 mechanics were so much better. You could steadily feel becoming more powerful when your stats increased. Now you have to hit a mark to unlock a perk instead. Lame!

Odd i had the same situation. I was talking to a guard who said they have retired and want to settle down. Suddenly a Dragon and he draws a battleaxe from his ass and charges the thing.

I love the dragon random encounters, make things so much intresting.. however they fuck things up when the mission is a giant battle anyway and then a dragon comes to say hello and doubles the shitstorm.

Dragons reaction to the situation:

My reaction:

I just wanted to use those reactions in something...

Don't any of you realise what this means?
THE NPC's.
They're evolving.

Yeah, may be Dragons now, but eventually they'll be crushing Titans and gods... while we're left to deal with the mundane boring stuff.
Like Mudcrabs.

WE'RE SCREWED!

Something like this happend to me when I turned into a werewolf and mauled Dawnstar but throughout the attack there were a gang of miners with tiny switchblades shouting "SLAY THE MONSTER!"

THE FUCK?

Dragons are weaksauce in the game >.< Yeah its great that they can spawn randomly just about EVERYWHERE, but man are they weak. Seriously Im more wary of Bears and Giants more than i am of Dragons!

Still waiting for the mod that scales the Dragons to a more appropriate level of epicness.

p.s. I once fought 2, thats right TWO dragons in the town of Dawnstar, and the only casualties was a Guard who got killed more from friendly fire, and a stray female miner who was eaten by the dragon XD

less to say Shadowmere, my huscarl, and Spectral Assassin made the fight ez pz.

I'm assuming the reason he fears mudcrabs more than a dragon is because those mudcrabs have evolved sentience and have developed assault rifles...or he's a lazy bastard.

Zachary Amaranth:
I thought the core gameplay was roughly the same.

Isn't that like saying "I hated the core gameplay in Smackdown vs Raw 2010, but I'm thoroughly engrossed in the gameplay of Smackdown vs Raw 2011?"

Insert annual football title if wrestling is too much.

I have the same sentiment as mr. carter there. Its the same if you look at it from the outside, but when you play it, it just feels "better" some how.

I was very much "meh" on Oblivion too, but for whatever reason, i can't get enough of Skyrim. Mind you this is just vanilla Skyrim, i can't wait to drop some hardcore mods on it! \o/

OldRat:
Heh, that was funny. I mean, I don't get the point of it (Unless it's that Skyrim NPCs can be ridiculously tough and will punch the shit out of dragons if need be, AKA the Dragonslayer horse), but that was just funny anyhow.

I haven't played the game either, but I suppose every NPC starts fighting dragons when they show up. That would be odd if a person who is afraid of mudcraps starts fighting dragons.

I take your point - but I've never considered fighting to be the core gameplay of Elder Scrolls games.

If it is anything like Fallout or the previous Elder Scroll games, the NPCs that walk around town, give you quests, and often remark on how they're too weak to do those things themselves just have a flag in their AI that says what they are hostile too. If a dragon shows up, or the player steals a breadknife and is spotted, the entire town population starts fighting with the same AI routines and animations as the biggest badass soldiers you fight with.

It's not an uncommon problem. In the new Deus Ex, you can use the takedown moves on anyone, and some of the animations involve Adam blocking high level martial arts moves from the target as part of the takedown. So you end up with wrinkly old ladies doing a roundhouse kick. Smaller groups of bandits in Mount and Blade run away from you, but if caught will try to demand gold from you in exchange for your life. And they will charge you happily on the battlemap (though later games do make them run if they are losing the battle. But they start with a spirited attack.)

Untill a dev team has so much money to blow that they create separate AI routines and animations for all kinds of NPCs, we'll be stuck with either this or NPCs that can only cower in a corner while a dragon is om-nom-noming their kids.

OldRat:
Heh, that was funny. I mean, I don't get the point of it (Unless it's that Skyrim NPCs can be ridiculously tough and will punch the shit out of dragons if need be, AKA the Dragonslayer horse), but that was just funny anyhow.

Well you see NPCs will literally hire you to do tasks like kill a couple wolves or mudcrabs because they are not strong enough. Then when a dragon attacks they will go bare fist and kick its ass. I actually saw a dragon land in the middle of a shopping district and just the shop keepers kicked its ass. The women who looks like she is in her eighties left her stall to punch a dragon.

Skyrim has a lot of inconsistances like this one here and the comic was poking fun at them.

"barely tolerated Morrowind "
Street cred lost.

The game is pretty good, but (as many have said before me) the dragons could use some mayor tweaking.

Their health is good, but they don't do any damage at all(to anyone except the player that is) and they suck at flying.

Often I'll get a dragon that flies head-first into the ground, only to bounce back up to continue flying. What? Are they drunk or something?

It would also be awesome if they had nests in caves and on mountains where you can sneak up on them whilst they're sleeping. I miss that feature a lot. Dragons have to sleep too you know? Give a stealthy non-combat character a chance at doing a 15x sneak attack on those eil lizards. Please?

I also think the settlements are too small. Whiterun is supposed to be an ancient city, yet it has only like 12 houses and 30 people living in it(what have they been doing the past thousands of years?). No wonder the Empire lost the war with the Thalmor/High elves during the 200 years since Oblivion; One of it's most important provinces has only a few hundred inhabitants. I call bullcrap on that and am waiting for some kind of huge-skyrim-cities overhaul mod or something.

It's still a very fun game though. Very much so indeed.

bificommander:
If it is anything like Fallout or the previous Elder Scroll games, the NPCs that walk around town, give you quests, and often remark on how they're too weak to do those things themselves just have a flag in their AI that says what they are hostile too. If a dragon shows up, or the player steals a breadknife and is spotted, the entire town population starts fighting with the same AI routines and animations as the biggest badass soldiers you fight with.

It's not an uncommon problem. In the new Deus Ex, you can use the takedown moves on anyone, and some of the animations involve Adam blocking high level martial arts moves from the target as part of the takedown. So you end up with wrinkly old ladies doing a roundhouse kick. Smaller groups of bandits in Mount and Blade run away from you, but if caught will try to demand gold from you in exchange for your life. And they will charge you happily on the battlemap (though later games do make them run if they are losing the battle. But they start with a spirited attack.)

Untill a dev team has so much money to blow that they create separate AI routines and animations for all kinds of NPCs, we'll be stuck with either this or NPCs that can only cower in a corner while a dragon is om-nom-noming their kids.

Or you can let the modders do it, but AI scripting is hard. The only good mod I remember doing this for F3 and ES4 was Martigen. And his mod was GLORIOUS. Hopefully he does it again.

I've had this happen more than once. Damn dumb NPC's you have NO armor, no healing pots, and are using piss-weak weapons. JUST RUN AND HIDE! I've lost a trainer/follower and a blacksmith that way, those courageous dumbasses.

Renegade-pizza:
I'm assuming the reason he fears mudcrabs more than a dragon is because those mudcrabs have evolved sentience and have developed assault rifles...

The Elder Scrolls VI: Tyranny of Crabs.

Is his chesthair shaped like Skyrim? If it is, mad props to you good madam (sir? never figured)!

This is why noone comes with me outside the holds - I dont want them hulking out and running straight into a pack of bandits. Remember the guy who wanted to come with you to the magic tree? He slid down a hill and I never found him again.

Also, Ive had terrible luck with dragons - whenever I spot one, it pulls trollface and disappears over the horizon. The few that have stayed around long enough have been easier then some of the bandits though...

Mista Miggins:
I think the NPCs are communists.

If one of them has a problem, the entire city will fight to the death to resolve it,

Y'know... I terrified myself earlier.

I was walking through Riverwood and I was a bit pissed off. I ended up punching a chicken that was roaming around. The second my blow landed, I heard an uproar from behind me. It turns out that chicken was their mayor in disguise or something because I got chased out of town by every single person and their Mum.

Ended up having to turn myself in at Whiterun to be able to complete quests.

This is too true not to laugh, I can't tell you how many merchant I've let die before engaging the dragon just to avoid the murder charge for them getting in the way of my magic.

DTWolfwood:
...my huscarl...

Wow, is it weird that I didn't notice the connection between housecarl and huscarl until you pointed it out? That makes perfect freaking sense.
I do also agree on your point about the dragons. The fact that they appear throughout the game is, I believe, the reason behind their lack of difficulty. Also contributing to that factor is the fact that they'll often land on their own and stand perfectly still so that you can stab them in the flank a good few times. I mean, seriously, when you can fly while breathing fire at that tiny little critter on the ground who's desperately trying to hit you with a Fus-Ro-Dah, WHY LAND? Skyrim dragons are not as bright as the game makes them out to be.

What's worse is when the villagers, instead of running, actually steal your fucking dragon kill....

reminds me of the rpg Gothic.

specially the (worst game evar) Gothic 3 Forsaken Gods

Old Guy: "what lovely weather we're having..."
[I pull me weapon]
Old Guy jumps up and with a lower voice: "I'll tear you're f***ing head off!"

Alright I admit it. I lol'ed.

You have to take your hat off to the citizens of Skyrim, and their sky-forged steel nutsacks. I've seen many a townsfolk fight armed bandit hoards and creatures from the depth of nightmares with nothing more than their bare fists and their massive brass balls.

Then again you can rob them blind as long as you place buckets on their heads so maybe they're more rock stupid than rock hard.

Jaranja:

Mista Miggins:
I think the NPCs are communists.

If one of them has a problem, the entire city will fight to the death to resolve it,

Y'know... I terrified myself earlier.

I was walking through Riverwood and I was a bit pissed off. I ended up punching a chicken that was roaming around. The second my blow landed, I heard an uproar from behind me. It turns out that chicken was their mayor in disguise or something because I got chased out of town by every single person and their Mum.

Ended up having to turn myself in at Whiterun to be able to complete quests.

Which goes to show how good a survival strategy that is for the communities.
You mess with one of them, and you mess with all of them, and they all kick your ass.
So you end up not messing with them at all out of self preservation.

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