Critical Miss: The Dragonslayer

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I think you mean 'Let's do this motherf-aaargh!'

They're Nords. What do you expect? Nords aren't afraid of anything, they'd discover a new land just to beat somebody up in it.

You might want to fix those italics on Elder Scrolls.

OT: I should really have this game by now...

Rensenhito:

DTWolfwood:
...my huscarl...

Wow, is it weird that I didn't notice the connection between housecarl and huscarl until you pointed it out? That makes perfect freaking sense.
I do also agree on your point about the dragons. The fact that they appear throughout the game is, I believe, the reason behind their lack of difficulty. Also contributing to that factor is the fact that they'll often land on their own and stand perfectly still so that you can stab them in the flank a good few times. I mean, seriously, when you can fly while breathing fire at that tiny little critter on the ground who's desperately trying to hit you with a Fus-Ro-Dah, WHY LAND? Skyrim dragons are not as bright as the game makes them out to be.

glad to be of help ;)

Im sure some intrepid modder is working hard to make the dragons beastly. can't wait to play the game over with it installed, saying of course i manage to finish the game i'm currently on. 90+ hours and i've yet to do the main quest pass getting the full force shout :P

CRAB BATTLE!
Oops, sorry. Wrong game. It just seemed to fit so well.

Hee hee. That made my night.

It also reminded me of something that had been worrying me: if a dargon decides that he wants to give the guy lizard who has slain at least an entire family line of his kin a break, and swoops down on you in a town, full of handy overhangs with which to block his incendiary halitosis, do the normal townsfolk run for cover? I have not seen a (non-guard) NPC attacking a dargon yet, nor have I seen any charred peasants on the street after the fight, and to my knowledge, am not missing any NPCs that do not normally die during quests.

I get that that was the entire point of the comic, but I have never seen it myself.

freaper:
Is his chesthair shaped like Skyrim? If it is, mad props to you good madam (sir? never figured)!

Simple MERCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT!

I was wondering what the design meeting for this was like:
Bethesda employee one: "Okay so nobody liked the cliff racers in morrowind..."
Bethesda employee two: "So we should avoid making a creature that swoops down from the sky and interrupts whatever you're doing right?"
B1: "Was that people's problem with cliffracers?"
B2: "What do you mean?"
B1: "Clearly the problem was that the cliffracers weren't large enough. The only logical thing to do is to bring the cliffracers back, but make them ten times bigger!"
B2: "Excelsior!"

And suddenly everyone loves them.

Distorted Stu:
Odd i had the same situation. I was talking to a guard who said they have retired and want to settle down. Suddenly a Dragon and he draws a battleaxe from his ass and charges the thing.

I love the dragon random encounters, make things so much intresting.. however they fuck things up when the mission is a giant battle anyway and then a dragon comes to say hello and doubles the shitstorm.

Dragons reaction to the situation:

My reaction:

I just wanted to use those reactions in something...

My reaction (skip to 1.32):

(Actually I don't have Skyrim, I just wanted to use that, also, someone needs to make a clip of Twilight Sparkle saying "I will LOVE and TOLERATE you").

Ghengis John:
I was wondering what the design meeting for this was like:
Bethesda employee one: "Okay so nobody liked the cliff racers in morrowind..."
Bethesda employee two: "So we should avoid making a creature that swoops down from the sky and interrupts whatever you're doing right?"
B1: "Was that people's problem with cliffracers?"
B2: "What do you mean?"
B1: "Clearly the problem was that the cliffracers weren't large enough. The only logical thing to do is to bring the cliffracers back, but make them ten times bigger!"
B2: "Excelsior!"

And suddenly everyone loves them.

And now that we have dragons they NEED to bring the actual cliffracers back so they can kill all the dragons like they did in Vvardenfell.

John the Gamer:

It would also be awesome if they had nests in caves and on mountains where you can sneak up on them whilst they're sleeping. I miss that feature a lot. Dragons have to sleep too you know? Give a stealthy non-combat character a chance at doing a 15x sneak attack on those eil lizards. Please?

There are mountains guaranteed to have dragons on, just look for the dragons head on the compass. And they can also be snuck (is that a word?) up on. They see you if they are looking at you though, but I did it yesterday by climbing over the back of the mountain, then attacking his tail which was dangling from where he was perched.

nyysjan:

Jaranja:

Mista Miggins:
I think the NPCs are communists.

If one of them has a problem, the entire city will fight to the death to resolve it,

Y'know... I terrified myself earlier.

I was walking through Riverwood and I was a bit pissed off. I ended up punching a chicken that was roaming around. The second my blow landed, I heard an uproar from behind me. It turns out that chicken was their mayor in disguise or something because I got chased out of town by every single person and their Mum.

Ended up having to turn myself in at Whiterun to be able to complete quests.

Which goes to show how good a survival strategy that is for the communities.
You mess with one of them, and you mess with all of them, and they all kick your ass.
So you end up not messing with them at all out of self preservation.

Actually, I was more bringing attention to the fact that I punched a chicken but... Alright, Survival strategies of communities is good too...

Only time I've seen a dragon attack a town was in Morthal. In a tiny place with houses made of wood, it kind of makes sense for the villagers to attack the dragon. They're gonna die anyway...
I saved them, and was then treated to 5 or 6 different people saying exactly the same thing in different voices. Something along the lines of 'So you're the dragonborn they spoke of'. I forget, it was a few weeks ago Skyrim time.

Actually, it'd be kind of cool if you could find places post-dragon attack. Not completely destroyed, still some people around to give quests/explain what's up, but kind of a wreck, and with terrified people in the few unburned corners.

Actually, the only time I've had them land is with Dragonrend, or when they are at low enough health. Often they will just land (a bit heavily, but no real impact), but if enough damage is dealt to them prior to the landing animation, they will crash to the ground instead, creating a permanent change to the ground (it is laggy sometimes though). Makes sense actually, when hurt enough flying isn't exactly pleasant, and dragons are too prideful to just leave (well, besides that one, but that is a spoiler).

I will agree, however, that they really need to be upped some, or other mobs lowered a bit. That bandit plunderer should not be more deadly than a blood dragon.

The puns about this amazing comic seem to drag-on forever.

But i do like puns :)

Jaranja:

nyysjan:

Jaranja:

Y'know... I terrified myself earlier.

I was walking through Riverwood and I was a bit pissed off. I ended up punching a chicken that was roaming around. The second my blow landed, I heard an uproar from behind me. It turns out that chicken was their mayor in disguise or something because I got chased out of town by every single person and their Mum.

Ended up having to turn myself in at Whiterun to be able to complete quests.

Which goes to show how good a survival strategy that is for the communities.
You mess with one of them, and you mess with all of them, and they all kick your ass.
So you end up not messing with them at all out of self preservation.

Actually, I was more bringing attention to the fact that I punched a chicken but... Alright, Survival strategies of communities is good too...

Chickens are a food source, you do not let people mess with your source of food.

Soooooo... Why is Ken Masters in Skyrim?

No, scratch that. I want to see the dragon get hit by a Dragon Uppercut!

Ahh! Games breaking down on their own logic. Classic.

Mista Miggins:
I think the NPCs are communists.

If one of them has a problem, the entire city will fight to the death to resolve it,

I learnt that the hard way. Attacked an NPC out of curiosity and got whaled on by the whole village. At least the kids did not join in, that would be beyond humiliating.

OldRat:
Heh, that was funny. I mean, I don't get the point of it (Unless it's that Skyrim NPCs can be ridiculously tough and will punch the shit out of dragons if need be, AKA the Dragonslayer horse), but that was just funny anyhow.

The very moment a dragon shows up, there's a chance everybody (including your horse) will charge the dragon. If you don't save your game early and often, you might lose your horse or some quest giving NPC might get chewed up a little.

Never have I laughed so hard at one of your comics.
Seriously, good job.

Mudcrabs? Could be a problem. A dragon? BRING IT ON!!!

Headdrivehardscrew:

OldRat:
Heh, that was funny. I mean, I don't get the point of it (Unless it's that Skyrim NPCs can be ridiculously tough and will punch the shit out of dragons if need be, AKA the Dragonslayer horse), but that was just funny anyhow.

The very moment a dragon shows up, there's a chance everybody (including your horse) will charge the dragon. If you don't save your game early and often, you might lose your horse or some quest giving NPC might get chewed up a little.

I was once attacked by a dragon in Dawnstar. I legged it up a tower to rain arrows, while Lydia, my horse and my pet dog decided to stand their ground and go toe-to-toe with the dragon. Amazingly, only my dog died! Lydia died later though, as in the confusion of the melee I saw someone on the ground crying for mercy and shield-bashed her out of habit. It was her own fault for wearing such generic armour!

On a different occasion, a dragon attacked outside of Riften. I chased it over some hills, and arrived just in time to collect the soul and see two city guards walking away like nothing had happened. They then paused to be impressed by the fact I was a Dragonborn. Props to those guys, they don't let a little dragon fuck up their day.

SonicWaffle:

On a different occasion, a dragon attacked outside of Riften. I chased it over some hills, and arrived just in time to collect the soul and see two city guards walking away like nothing had happened. They then paused to be impressed by the fact I was a Dragonborn. Props to those guys, they don't let a little dragon fuck up their day.

"You know, maybe I'm Dragonborn and just don't know it yet."

there's a chance everyone in skyrim is dragonborn,except perhaps the dragons

I take it that nobody here has heard of the...

TRIUMPHANT MUDCRAB?!

I'd rather face a dragon than that crazy mutha' fuckin' mudcrab any day.

Mista Miggins:
I think the NPCs are communists.

If one of them has a problem, the entire city will fight to the death to resolve it,

oh gosh that just made me laugh

cough Skyrim's chickens

I imagine him having an irish accent. Tis quite funny

Absolutely hilarious, but to be fair, I've never seen any NPC other than guards fight dragons. They just stand at the side and scream "Those fools are actually fighting!" if a dragon attacks, never seen them enter combat :P

This is soo true. You'd think more peopel would run and hide, but when the dragon comes everyone is a fighter.

Does the universe advance at all if you are not in an area? I mean I know it only creatings graphics out to a certain distance, but could there be a dragon attack when you aren't in the area? The only fights in progress I've run across appear to be scripted, though I did have non essential but plot relivent character die in a fight before I could save him. It is funny because I accidently triggered dialog with another character where they apologized for what the dead man had said to me which was the only reason I realized he had dialog.

rollerfox88:
This is why noone comes with me outside the holds - I dont want them hulking out and running straight into a pack of bandits. Remember the guy who wanted to come with you to the magic tree? He slid down a hill and I never found him again.

Also, Ive had terrible luck with dragons - whenever I spot one, it pulls trollface and disappears over the horizon. The few that have stayed around long enough have been easier then some of the bandits though...

Yea I remember him...

On the way to the tree we saw some giants fighting a dragon, his dumbass charges in fists flying and immediately goes flying towards the moon. If he falls on me and kills me on his way down I'm going to be so pissed.

ShaggyEdiddy214:
Something like this happend to me when I turned into a werewolf and mauled Dawnstar but throughout the attack there were a gang of miners with tiny switchblades shouting "SLAY THE MONSTER!"

THE FUCK?

What can we say? People in Skyrim have serious balls.

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