Critical Miss: Skyrim Tales

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So very true! Thankfully they stop training at level 50 as far as I know.

That's the problem I have with Skyrim. The only trade skills that are worth leveling are Smithing and Enchantment. Any other ones will get you reamed by the super powerful...everything. Enchantment breaks the game wide open, though. Hello +5000% one handed damage and 0% Destruction Magicka Cost.

I've ran into Dragur Deathlords at like, level 8. I don't much think that their appearance is scaled.

Mud crabs FTW

How did you have a first character that specialized in speech-craft? I have tons of junk to sell, and I sell a lot of it, but my speech is still under 50 after 50 or so hours x.x

I was wondering about the level scaling.. It's too bad you can kind of work yourself into a corner like that. My character for example has very high stealth compared to her other stats, which pretty much guarantees that I have to use sneak attacks, because in a straight up fight I can only take a few blows to the face before taking a permanent nap on the floor. I don't really mind though, sneak attacks are friggin' sweet!

Disregard Speech, Acquire Shouts

Too true! I had to shelve my Khajiit Nightingale due to that exact problem. And Dwemer Spheres. Plus that perk that makes sneak attacks with daggers do x15 damage looks good and all, but against more than one opponent it's not worth the paper Ra'Viir's obituary is written on.

What is with her eyes in the smithing part? Too much skooma or just loot crazy?

Kopikatsu:
That's the problem I have with Skyrim. The only trade skills that are worth leveling are Smithing and Enchantment. Any other ones will get you reamed by the super powerful...everything. Enchantment breaks the game wide open, though. Hello +5000% one handed damage and 0% Destruction Magicka Cost.

Yeah, pretty much that, only I went restoration so I could spam power attacks thanks to the Respite perk.

I find alchemy is -sorta- useful, but only in regards to potions that buff your blacksmithing and enchanting, and you can find/buy those potions which do that job well enough.

Still, very fun to bend the games mechanics over and give it the beating of the century. Final boss? PSHHT, dead!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who puts on a blacksmith's apron when I'm actually blacksmithing.

Furioso:
How did you have a first character that specialized in speech-craft? I have tons of junk to sell, and I sell a lot of it, but my speech is still under 50 after 50 or so hours x.x

Do Calvicus Vile's quest and get the Mosque of Calvicus Vile. If you can pick up a +15 Speechcraft necklace/ring on the way, more power to you. Then just keep buying, selling, then rebuying things until you have tons of Speechcraft.

Does either Grey or Cory actually have a hamster?

Also, how long does it take to forge armour that small?

Speechcraft is easy to level up compared to alteration. As a mage I almost never find a use for its spells but I'd like the protective perks. Kind of sad that I'm probably going to have to buy my way to it.

Smithing + Enchanting 100 = Extremely overpowered. I don't know what you guys are talking about XP

I got 1400 armor in Dragonscale Light armor set thanks to 250 blacksmithing, 125 enchanting and 170 light armor.

No matter what my goal at the start, I always end up with a similar character: some weapon skill, some armor skill, smithing, restoration. The farthest I've strayed is an assassin character, so that just replaces restoration with sneak haha. But since combat is always my goal, I've never encountered your Deadly Draugr scenario.

Did anyone ever take perks in speech or lockpicking or pickpocket? I've found all those perks to be useless (and the pickpocket skill itself).

I would love to see enemy leveling only tied to combat skills. Or at best, only count non-combat skills as if they were half their level.

but they ain't got shit on Mudcrabs

Now this comic makes it clear why Critical Miss won that contest way back when.

Though I'm a little baffled that she actually tried to make a character themed around three non-combat skills. It's a shame she didn't include alchemy on that list of things she was leveling, considering that the easiest way to do that is to devour the random crap you find in the woods/on dead monsters, which seems like a horrific idea for an aspiring chemist.

Or, alternatively, it means that every alchemist in Skyrim is a balls-to-the-walls badass who can probably shoot venom out of their eyes or something.

Paralysis poisons for the win.

If I ever see a Dragur named Ivan with a blonde crew cut played by Dolph Lundgren, I will crap my pants and run.

I never have bwahahahah'd at a Critical Miss more than this.
Favourite comic ever

Char-Nobyl:

Or, alternatively, it means that every alchemist in Skyrim is a balls-to-the-walls badass who can probably shoot venom out of their eyes or something.

Actually as it turns out your average adventurer in skyrim is slightly mentally retarded and did not realise that you can just buy a book to tell you what everything does. The alchemists however have done their very best to keep this a secret because if adventurers think they need to taste everything first it means they can sell more herbs. Plus who doesnt enjoy watching an adventurer eat a giants toe.

henritje:
but they ain't got shit on Mudcrabs

True. Saw a mudcrab kill a bear yesterday...said bear was after me but after losing a quarter of it's health it turned to the crab...and the crab murdered it without losing as much as an 8th of it's health.

Yeah, I immediatly turned tail and ran from that thing (It killed a bear. I can't kill bears. Obviously i was out of my league).

DVS BSTrD:
Disregard Speech, Acquire Shouts

The internet in a nutshell, ladies and gents.

My stealth skill is so ridiculously high none of the enemies can even spot me unless I physically bump into them, even if I'm pumping them full of arrows. Working on smithing and enchanting now that everyone says they're OP. =P

Frostbite3789:
If I ever see a Dragur named Ivan with a blonde crew cut played by Dolph Lundgren, I will crap my pants and run.

Ivan Dragur: I must break you.

SpiderJerusalem:

DVS BSTrD:
Disregard Speech, Acquire Shouts

The internet in a nutshell, ladies and gents.

insert vaguely related clip here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMlKmELIhgY

the world is just better at high volume, i mean.. really.

also, need bass?
FAS DOOH RAWRRRRR

kay? kk.

SomeLameStuff:
My stealth skill is so ridiculously high none of the enemies can even spot me unless I physically bump into them, even if I'm pumping them full of arrows. Working on smithing and enchanting now that everyone says they're OP. =P

they airent op, that sugguests limits.
you can literally get + 400 damage on a weapon AND dual 50++ magic school damage of your choice
with your stealth bonus, you'd be one-shoting a mob so hard you'd slip right through him and crack the world.
( like my metaphor? i did. )

I have a level 66 Warrior character and they give me next to no problems. generally the only enemies I encounter in crypts now are deathlord overlords and dragon priests. they're really not hard. Like at all. They take a load of damage but do next to none back.

Actually for my second character I leveled Speechcraft, Alchemy, Smithing, and Enchanting all the way to 100 before any of my other skills were even to 30. I was around level 35 before I even set foot outside a city.

Normally I would have been slaughtered by a mudcrab at this point - especially since I only play on the highest difficulty level - but by combining Alchemy, Smithing, and Enchanting together I was able to create a set of power armor so strong that I could take a giant down in like 3 hits.

I found it very amusing that some skinny, weak merchant Breton with no combat training could all of a sudden run through a dungeon one-shotting everything once he put on his gear.

I've run into this problem with my second character, the master thief. With Pickpocket at 100 now, Sneak at 75, One-handed at 30 and Illusion at 77 (Which came after I realised how fucked I was everytime I got noticed).

Actually nevermind all that. As long as I stay undetected or have a Calm spell ready, It's all fine now. It's actually extremely easy now after I trained my Illusion skill and got the Invisibility spell and the perk 'Quiet Spellcasting', because I can literally just sneak around inches away from an enemy and re-cast the invisibility spell whenever it runs out. But before that... I died in a couple of hits. The second I got caught I was fucked.

I did also realise that I'd need something for dragons. So I trained my Destruction skill to 50 and got a few perks in that tree for ranged attacks (can't stand bows).

Oh and another thing I HATE with Skyrim's leveling system. Is that getting better in Lockpicking doesn't count for anything unless you get the respective perks. So that's all just wasted on leveling up me, and enemies, quicker. Because I don't even need the perks that makes it easier to pick.

The same thing goes for Alchemy, Enchanting and Smithing. Actually getting a higher level in those skills don't count for anything unless you get the perks. I didn't even see the point in spending perk-points into Enchanting when I would just find better enchanted items in random chests. The only thing I used Enchanting for was to enchant daggers and other lightweight items so that I'd get more money for selling them. Like taking an Iron Dagger that's worth about 10 gold, enchanting it with the most valuable enchantment you know, using a petty soul gem, and turning the value into anything from around 300 to 400 gold.

Well, yeah, it is possible to corner yourself, or at least make your life harder at some point. The question you should ask yourself is "How can my skills benefit me when out in the world". You leveled Smithing? You should be able to craft awesome gear and then upgrade it to insane levels, giving you an edge in combat. You leveled Alchemy? Shouldn't you be chugging potions that boost all your stats and damage while giving you every resistance imaginable? You leveled Speech and Pickpocketing? Shouldn't you be using all the money you make with those skills on better items, better spells or simply training in combat skills?

Make use of all your talents, even the non-combat ones.

You were close to the god build of alchemy, enchanting, whatever else. With Alchemy and enchanting you can boost every other skill off the charts and break the game. There is actually a loop of enchanting alchemy buffs and then making potions that boost you enchanting, you can eventually make +1500 whatever-skill armor enchantments.

One hitting a dragon with you bare hands never really gets old. Sadly the rest of the game does... it's fine if you don't go overboard; after all what's life without a little challenge.

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