MovieBob: Intermission: Oh, Behave!

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 NEXT
 

I, for one, am ok with the "text seats."

Not only does it let you know in advance who the jack-asses are, it segregates them in their own little area. Presumably, this will let the theatre be a little more rigid on their no texting policies as well. If you are a neurosurgeon or something, and might get a SUPER important text mid movie, you can sit in the texty area. Every one else, if I see a flicker of screen, your ass is outta here.

I have to agree with people who try to react 'ironically' to movies or try to be meta about it.

There are two places where you're allowed to have those kinds of reactions where people are not liable to kick your ass:

1) Your house, because you're watching a DVD of it.

2) A gathering of friends at some event or something, because you're watching a DVD or a special screening.

The movie theater, where it's filled with a lot of people that don't know or care about you and probably just want to watch the movie, is not the best time to try and crack a joke. The immediate relatives and friends may give you a chuckle, pity or not. Everyone that doesn't know is liable to introduce you to their straw. Through your eye.

Seriously, I hate it when people try to be witty when I'm trying to watch a movie. I can at least somewhat sympathize if it's at a small group gathering and it's one of my friends, since we're all friends and we don't expect anyone to come at us with a knife, but if you're at a social gathering, be courteous. You don't randomly start talking loudly on your phone if the president is giving an important speech and you're in attendance, so why would you try to make it difficult for us to hear the movie?

I have a simple solution for the behaviour of theatre going neandethals.
11pm Wednesday.

Kiddies are in bed (including most of the school age ones).
Party goers are off getting drunk.
Workers are in bed coz tomorow is a workday that isnt a monday or friday, and therefore isn't worth taking off sick.
Tuesday night was cheap night, so most people who go to mid week showings went then...

Wait for a week after release, and in a lot of cases the movies that are drawing packed houses at 7 have half a dozen or so people in them at 11.

Now please ignore my advice so I don't have to start putting up with you lot in my nice, quiet cinema! :D

Main reasons I go to movies during the day....when I actually go to the movies.

I'd say it be easier, more comfortable and far more satisfying to simply invest in a decent sized TV, a good surround sound system and watch movies at home, rather than futilely trying to change the obnoxious behaviour of millions of people.

Uh, Bob, 20 years old here. Your parents still alive? Mine aren't. You ever face transphobia? I do. Yeah, please stop making assumptions that my life is always easy based on my age.

Saxnot:
i find nr 6. funny, because it basically means you can't go to a movie theater until your child is old enough to stay at home (lets say when they're 10 years old).

how would you respond if someone were to tell you you can't go to a movie theater for the next decade?

Yes, exactly. You either get a babysitter or you wait until your kids can stay at home alone safely. Part of having children is the responsibility to take care of them. If that means you miss out on going to fine dining restaurants, movies, sporting events or any other adult activity, that's a choice you've made and have to live with.

It's not fair to everyone else to take your shitty loud kids to an adult movie (kids movie? Fine, that's what they're for) and disturb everyone else.

Xanthious:

I feel this video from the Drafthouse is in order.

+1 "Magnited" States of America

Haha Bob, I had to smile. I'm a movie theater usher myself. You're right, we are basically janitors. Sadly I've only gotten to kick one person out thus far. But it sure is fun watching my manager do it, because she's fiesty.

rayen020:
Rule 7 does not apply when it is a kid-centric/targeted movie. Although still not a great idea to let them role around and play on the floor.

Yes, it does. What's a kid-centric movie anyway? I went to see Toy Story 3 and a mother with 2 kids were raising hell just behind me, I asked her politely to keep it down and she gave me the gaze of death and hissed "This movie is not aimed at you, mister". What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Who are you to judge what is aimed at me and what isn't? If your kids are incapable of behaving in a movie theater, then don't take them to one. It's pretty simple. Wait for the DVD and watch it at home with them.

Here in the UK we don't even have propper ushers at 90% of cinemas because the companies are too cheap to pay for them.

The only time i have seen anyone be ejected form the teatre it was for sitting in the "Premium" (not worn out and unsuably uncomfortable) Seating without paying the extra 50% on top of the pricing you could actually buy a Blu-Ray with. A couple had their kids litteally running up and down the strais ever 5 minutes during arthur christmas. Just running up and down. Luckily i had actually WON some free tickets to the cinema and hadn't paid a penny. Eventually someone near them told them to stop, but they just didn't react. Then some scary looking obvious wieghtlifter threatened to "throw their dammed kids down those stairs" if they didn't stop them. That did stop them. Infact they left.

Another movie runied. Another reason to NEVER go.

....

Infact EVERY time in the past year i have been to my local area (actually pretty substantial) Cinema there has been recisely two members of staff on; The front desk is DESERTED, one confectionary stand is open with one poor soul despensing all the tickets and never selling any snacks becuase no one is dumb enough to buy them.

The entire place is deserted. Its Brilliant for someone like me whol ikes to daydream and loves thinking im actually in a post apocalypse but for most people this is horribly, errie, offputting and cold.

Everything is expensive and automated, it just feels not worh it in the slightest.

5. Reacting Inappropriately On Purpose Is Not Funny

This is the only one I've really had a problem with myself. The others are right of course, but this is the only one I've actually experienced. When I went to see 'Funny People' (which I thought was actually pretty good), there were a couple of boys, likely in their late teens, there. They started faking a loud, annoying laugh... at the opening credits. It was incredibly stupid.

Then, not long after they pause for a minute, I suddenly hear this deep, evil voice saying 'is it you all laughin like that?' It honestly sounded like he was going to murder me and my friends. I quickly told him no and let him know where the laughing seemed to be coming from. He said alright and left... and I didn't hear any more laughing for the rest of the movie. While that freaked me out, I really hope it freaked the annoying assholes out just as much and they got kicked out. People like that ruin the movie.

SilverUchiha:
I'm sort of on the fence about the texting thing. I get that for the actual movie, you'd want to put your phone away. But for the previews, what if you are meeting with people who are wondering where you are at? They are trying to get to your theater or something? I think we can be allowed to text them locations or what's up or whatever. Especially if you turn the backlight down a lot.

Furthermore, what about emergency situations? Not emergencies for ME, but for other people who desire my advice or help? Like say there is a computer problem and their homework is due that same night. I think being allowed to step out and take a call is acceptable there.

I'm not saying phones are okay, but I think we should try to find a point of compromise for both sides here.

computer problems 90% of the time can wait, and whoever is calling you for homework advice should have done so sooner(leaving homework till the last day, bad form).

I feel bob missed out the important part of public displays of affection, no i dont mean kissing/hugging a little, im talking when your feasting on your partners tongue and the rest of us have to hear it.

Xanthious:
These rules are the exact reason the Alamo Draft House is THE best movie theater to ever grace this planet of ours. It's in Austin Texas they serve beer, don't have ads before the movie (besides trailers) and don't tolerate ANY shit. Unaccompanied minors aren't allowed and neither are any children under six years old. Talking, texting or otherwise being a dick? You are thrown out. No warning no refund just shown the door and given the management's best wishes that it doesn't hit you in the ass on your way out of it. There really should be more theaters like The Alamo Drafthouse.

Lol, I was just about to mention this myself, plus the Alamo serves beer and food, so it is the future of cinema.

I gotta say, I loved the comment about "emergencies". Seems like being connected 24/7 has really ramped up our idea of what counts as an "emergency". Not to sound like an old geezer who rambles on about "back in my day", but I don't even own a cell phone; I really can't imagine any scenario where someone would need to reach me so desperately that it couldn't wait two more hours. If you're a doctor or a volunteer firefighter, you can be bothered to have separate cell phones for regular use (that you turn off when you're in theaters and restaurants) and real emergencies (that you immediately leave when it goes off because you know you'll need to anyway). Otherwise, forget it.

In fact, if I may soapbox a moment about cell phone networks: They really dropped the ball by never evolving beyond the original century-old model of telephony, where everyone identifies by an impossible-to-remember random number and where a phone is either on or off. Why haven't we started transitioning to a system like instant messaging, where people can set their "status" so anyone who tries to call them not only can see, but has to see whether they're available or not first, and under what conditions. Right now, either you open yourself to being called by anyone in the world who might want to get in touch with you for any reason, or nobody at all. And theaters are definitely a "nobody at all" scenario. For the very, very rare real emergencies that can come up for ordinary people, it's very inconvenient to not be able to just click a button to change your status to "At a movie; DO NOT CALL UNLESS IT'S A LIFE-OR-DEATH SITUATION."

EDIT: Oh, forgot to add, I like how Bob italicized "Adult Swim" like it were a single show. It might as well be for how uniform its suckiness is nowadays.

Xanthious:

I feel this video from the Drafthouse is in order.

Seen that before, and let me just say: I'm going to make an exception to my usual reservations about big conglomerates and corporate accretion and say that I wish that company would get bigger and buy out all the other theaters in the country. They sound like they would do a better job of actually giving a shit about customers than any of the other chains out there.

Snooder:
Personally, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and stick up for the guy texting. I know it's an unpopular stance to make, but it really needs to be said.

1. Honestly, the 'light pollution' isn't all that bad. Seriously, I have never been seriously bothered by the miniscule amount of light coming from a phone, even one sitting right beside me. Frankly, if your attention span is low enough that you absolutely cannot pay attention to the giant 20 foot (estimated) screen in front of you because of a few lumens coming from a 5" or smaller screen several feet away from you, that's a personal problem. Filter that crap out the way you filter out the exit signs.

2. Yes, it is sometimes important to be in communication with someone else during a movie. Emergencies happen. Or maybe you're just trying to find out where your friends are because you took separate cars to the movie and one of you was late.

3. Watching a movie, in a movie theater, is about the experience of watching a movie in public with other people. If you want an uninterrupted, distraction free environment, watch it at home. Seriously, complaining about other people in a theater is like complaining about drunken jerks at a sports stadium. Granted, movie theaters are a special case because of the strange release schedule that mandates that new movies not be available for home viewing, but waiting a couple months isn't all that difficult if it really bothers you THAT much. Again, most of the time, a little whispering or seat shuffling isn't all that much of a distraction.

Yes, there are things that truly bother everyone in a theater. A baby crying at the top of his/her lungs is a distraction that nobody can ignore, as is that jerk talking really loudly to his stockbroker. But some guy checking his email for a couple of seconds to make sure that the buzz he got wasn't a fire burning down his house or something really important isn't something to tar and feather anyone over.

Well,

if someone wants to be a douche bag and sit in front of other people and text and giggle and all that bullshit, they should be prepared to have a large soda "accidentally" spilled over them and their phone.

If you want to do that crap, sit at the back where no one has to see your phone flick to life again and again.

Funny, my drink has "Accidentally" spilled twice like that, clumsy me...

lowkey_jotunn:
I, for one, am ok with the "text seats."

Not only does it let you know in advance who the jack-asses are, it segregates them in their own little area. Presumably, this will let the theatre be a little more rigid on their no texting policies as well. If you are a neurosurgeon or something, and might get a SUPER important text mid movie, you can sit in the texty area. Every one else, if I see a flicker of screen, your ass is outta here.

They have those text seats, they are at the very back against the wall, when you are back there no one can see your screen lighting up or be annoyed by it as they are all looking forward.

Me and about 8 friends got kicked out of a late in its run matinee showing of Snakes on a Plane for MST3King and laughing too loud at the back of the theater. There were a total of 3 other people in the screening. I understand the rules, and I respect them, but there has to be some exceptions.

You hipster rant was the best. Good read Bob.

Platinum zone Bob.

It's here in Poland also known as "Grownups Zone".

The tickets are double the price but you get a nice quiet movie room, the rows of two seats each, waiters with snacks and booze and I can swear that the seats are just so bloody comfortable you want to spend a night there.

Well worth the price.

I always wait a week or 2 before I'll go and see a movie and then I'll go for the last showing on a friday or saturday this means there usually only a handful of other people and they too are there to watch the movie. Anytime I deviate from the system I end up with talkers and what not and it kills my experience.

TitanAura:
I miss those overly elaborate "please turn off your phone" trailers all of the major theatres had a few years ago. Whatever happened to those?

We still have them in the UK, sponsored by a mobile telecoms company (Orange) and with the tagline "don't let a mobile phone ruin your movie".

Latest one:

1nfinite_Cros5:

Surprisingly, I've never seen anybody...drag their infant along.

Oh trust me, it happens. Saw a disturbing number of little children when I went to see Watchmen. Although I did get a huge laugh when the sex scene came up and the parents scrambled out of the theater shielding their eyes.

Point 1 made me think of this:

Compared to that (if it were real, which it thankfully isn't), tweet seats probably wouldn't seem so bad, provided I was nowhere near them.

I just had a clear image of Bob doing this in a movie theatre.

The baby rule is especially annoying when you're in an R-Rated film. Which, yes, I've had happen before.

Nailed every point I could imagine dealing with the movie theaters Bob. I also not only understand where you're coming from, but almost every example had occur at my movie theater which really made me decide to watch movies that come out within 2 weeks after for this reason.

Honestly, babies are the biggest issue I have when it deals with movie theaters. I remember bringing my ex girlfriend to see Toy Story 3. Classic movie, and I know kids will also attend but I figured they'd be far to much into the movie to cause chaos. I was right, but didn't expect... babies. A dozen parents brought their 1-2 year olds to see this movie. There was constant cries, chatter, and even a few who threw the food/confessions onto the floor where we heard the plop, seeing the mess. It was a disaster and was miserable spite the movie being good.

Second issue are the jokers. I do not for the life of me understand why these teens feel okay to joke about a scene during the movie, when it's a full house (as in every seat is full). They not only laugh, but they say the oddest things about a scene even after it's over.. during the movie. Once there was 3 girls who kept making comments during the movie X-Men: The Land Stand for every time a super hero/villain would do something cool, they'd put him down with such high voices.

Last issue but almost as worse as the babies sometimes are cell phones. A few movies, but especially when seeing Real Steel- a guy was texting on his Iphone. Now, let me tell you those things light up. And even though it doesn't have visible buttons, the guy was pressing his screen pretty hard for me to hear those clicks. Went on for almost an hour and he didn't bother watching the movie. Why pay to see a movie if you're just going to text?? Really bothered me, I even wanted to ask him why but he left before the movie ended.

So again good job Bob. I'm impressed and already live by these rules. Sadly, thousands will break these rules for the sake of not caring or having excuses. Especially the baby sitter excuse.. how did you pay for two tickets to a movie then?

[quo

Rule 7 does not apply when it is a kid-centric/targeted movie. Although still not a great idea to let them role around and play on the floor.

[/b][/quote]

Actually it does. I am an artist who loves animated movies as a medium. One of my biggest problems is when I go to see a Pixar film and people see this as an excuse to let their children behave rudely in theaters just because it has an under pg-13 rating. In fact, I pretty much had the Lion King re release ruined for me by children who were much to young to be in a theater. Please understand that just because the marketing crew sees a movie as kid oriented, doesn't mean that there will not be adults or young adults that also want to enjoy it. Please have kids be courteous; there are only so many quality animated films released (my next will be "The Burrowers") so please do not let the kids run wild.

PipPup:
[quo

Rule 7 does not apply when it is a kid-centric/targeted movie. Although still not a great idea to let them role around and play on the floor.

[/b]

Actually it does. I am an artist who loves animated movies as a medium. One of my biggest problems is when I go to see a Pixar film and people see this as an excuse to let their children behave rudely in theaters just because it has an under pg-13 rating. In fact, I pretty much had the Lion King re release ruined for me by children who were much to young to be in a theater. Please understand that just because the marketing crew sees a movie as kid oriented, doesn't mean that there will not be adults or young adults that also want to enjoy it. Please have kids be courteous; there are only so many quality animated films released (my next will be "The Burrowers") so please do not let the kids run wild.[/quote]

WHY DO YOU QUOTE FAIL ME ESCAPIST QOUTE BUTTON!!!????

My favorite theater became really annoying because of too many smartphones.
Some people tell me I'm overreacting about it but it's too fucking annoying when I see a climactic scene and then those that little flashe ruins it for me.

They should post these at the ticket counter of every cinema in the country.

Also, having checked out the other three enraging articles, I have to admit that, so long as it remained faithful to the concepts and themes of the original novel, that a reboot of Starship Troopers would be awesome. Honestly, the novel is one of my favorite science-fiction stories ever and I can't see why it wouldn't make a great movie as is, but Paul Verhoeven turned it into an absolute travesty - really, I think there should also be a special level of hell for movie makers who rape to death good books. . .

I quit going to the the theater years ago for just these reasons. Instead I go to the drive-in! The Drive-In the savior to all misanthropes that still want to see movies on the big screen! And with better food at better prices.

3 bucks for a box of candy? Hell no, 3 bucks for a BURGER! With CHEESE!

Does it suck that I have to drive at least an hour to get to a town with a theater? Yeah. But I'll take it over loud teenagers, ringing cell phones, crying babies, and children who just WILL NOT SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!! and their parents going "Anthony...sit down....anthony...anthony....sit down anthony....anthony....come sit down with mommy....come on...please come sit down with mommy....anthony...anthony..."

FUCK LADY! If he won't sit down MAKE HIM! If he still won't sit down GO HOME! That's what my mother would have done.

subtlefuge:
Me and about 8 friends got kicked out of a late in its run matinee showing of Snakes on a Plane for MST3King and laughing too loud at the back of the theater. There were a total of 3 other people in the screening. I understand the rules, and I respect them, but there has to be some exceptions.

Because the three other paying customers weren't entitled to watch the movie in peace? You're admission price covers you for watching the movie, not ruining it for anyone else. I once kicked out about that many teenagers when there was only one other customer.

I think those rules involving children and babies should be elevated to #1. At least you can turn your phone off. Babies however, will never shut up unless you make them.

MovieBob, what's your position on theaters that have replaced Trailer time with commercials?

Eh... Talking goes without saying but unless someone's having a full conversation throughout the movie via texts or like you said updating facebook every 10 minutes I usually don't mind the light.

Any phone that goes off not on silent or vibrate (assuming the vibrate isn't like a goddamn earthquake. Some phones vibrate is a loud as the freaking ringing is in the first place...) is a no-no but I don't mind the "light pollution" so long as it's not consistently there.

Call me a jerk but I for one have never noticed people using phones and distracting me with only light and I have responded to a text during the show to say, "at a movie. Can't talk now." A section for people to text all throughout the movie? Lame, but one time isn't a throw em out reaction to me. That's a massive overreaction.

Screamarie:
I quit going to the the theater years ago for just these reasons. Instead I go to the drive-in! The Drive-In the savior to all misanthropes that still want to see movies on the big screen! And with better food at better prices.

3 bucks for a box of candy? Hell no, 3 bucks for a BURGER! With CHEESE!

Does it suck that I have to drive at least an hour to get to a town with a theater? Yeah. But I'll take it over loud teenagers, ringing cell phones, crying babies, and children who just WILL NOT SIT THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!! and their parents going "Anthony...sit down....anthony...anthony....sit down anthony....anthony....come sit down with mommy....come on...please come sit down with mommy....anthony...anthony..."

FUCK LADY! If he won't sit down MAKE HIM! If he still won't sit down GO HOME! That's what my mother would have done.

This, a thousand times, this.

I used to go to the movies a lot, then cell phones became a thing, and going to movies just degenerated from that point on. However, we found a DRIVE-IN! Like you said, it was like finding a savior or something. Half the price per person, you can bring your own food or buy a hotdog for like a dollar, and even if the guy beside your car is annoying you you can control your own movies volume and can thus drown the man out. The kids still go running around screaming, but in the open air, it really doesn't matter, and has like no volume anymore. There are only three big downsides really, mosquitoes, the drive-in being closed in winter, and going on any holiday that might possibly involve fireworks.

Why we lost most of these wonderful things, I will never know.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Register for a free account here