The Big Picture: If the Oscars Were the VGAs

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MovieBob is angry world... go to your room and think about what you've done.

If the Oscars were the VGAs, Transformers 3 would be best movie.

That insider joke hurt worst of all, only because I understand it...

But... But I'm actually really happy that they're making MIB3.

If the Oscars were like the VGA's... The Star Wars prequels would be considered the best trilogy and have a boat load of awards.

If the Oscars were like the VGA's... Tron Legacy would still have been snubbed.

If the Oscars were like the VGA's... They'd encourage a Madden movie... yikes!

common if we don't care hard enough maby our combined apathy will remove the VGA's from reality.
If oscares were the VGA's Transformers would win picture of the year and Michel Bay would get a lifetime achievement award.

Eh, I'm not so sure about RotK losing the Oscar in this hypothetical situation. I actually didn't hear about biker boys (or maybe I did and just forgot). These types of award show are mostly popularity contests, and RotK was definitely the most popular movie that year. Heck, it won a couple awards at the mtv movie awards, if that's saying anything.

Oh, and pinkie pie, yay!

Wait... wait... wait wait... one moment please... wait...

There is going to be a Starship Troopers reboot?

Awesome!

MovieBob:
If the Oscars Were the VGAs

An illustration of how VGAs are ruining our image.

Watch Video

The problem is that "gaming" has become too big to just be a single category: "Gaming." It's an activity that engages several different audiences, but neither wants to give up the rights to the name.

It's like how gymnastics and football are both Sports, but they are extremely different and reach very different audiences. (And the bigger, angrier side continually claims the other side "isn't really a Sport.")

The Spike VGAs aren't about honoring games. They're about reveling in the culture and in-jokes of the "Chet"-side of Gaming. It's not meant for the folks that take Gaming-as-an-artistic-medium seriously. The sad part is that we have no real alternative for those folks.

But the fact remains we can no longer afford to keep "Gaming" as a single heading meant to encompass all participants in the activity. It's like Sports or Music, or even Movies -- it's a broad category that defines the medium, but there are many facets within that can't be grouped together.

DVS BSTrD:
If the Oscars were the VGAs...
Avatar would have won best picture

Avatar really was better than The Hurt Locker, but neither were better than Up In The Air.

It's all just a big marketing stunt. I think everyone realizes that, and therefore those who watch it just watch for the spectacle.

Anyhow, if the Oscars were the VGA's I'd watch even fewer movies than I already do.

I remember back in 03 I think it was when they did this show for the first time and Virgin Mobile was one of the sponsors so they ran a campaign where one lucky Virgin Mobile fan who was a virgin would get his virginity taken by two porn stars. That was my done moment. I was like "way to play the stereotypes jerkoffs"

HEY!
Don't make fun of the VGA's for making room for more trailers.
Its the only thing the VGA's are good for.

Like the super bowl

I nearly punched my screen just at the mention of a Fast and Furious 6. Scariest episode ever *shudders at the idea of Vin Diesel*.

If the Oscars were the VGAs, they'd show trailers to the next upcoming Platinum Dunes studio remake.

When the people who are attending your awards ceremony are complaining about the ceremony and how you've treated them whilst it's still going on, it is most definitely time to re-evaluate your priorities.

I feel really sorry for Mark Hamill and Tara Strong. Their treatments were unacceptable. And I feel extremely sorry for host Zachary Levi. You could tell he wanted to host a good video game awards show and it killed me to slowly see part of him die as the night went on. With crappy pun after crappy pun and awful skit after awful skit. Internet: The man genuinely loves his games! Honest. He was just dealing with an awful script!

Jeff Gerstmann and Alex Navarro both wrote excellent pieces on the VGAs over at Giant Bomb if anyone's interested.

Great vid, Bob!

brazuca:
The end was hilarious, but didn't other show on the Escapist adressed this issue. That show who got canceled about two guys and a chick who was on thursday for a year or something. Uh...

There is still DICE awards anyway.

Hey I think your talking about extra credits and they moved over to PATV on the penny arcade website. I don't know why they moved but that's where they are.

This episode made me choke on my food.

good stuff.

Damn Bob why are you so mean to us around the holidays filling our minds with such horrible things?

Bad enough you had to show us the Three Stooges trailer now you want us to think of a world where Micheal Bay has a shelf full of Best Director Oscars.

I noticed that they only showed a grand total of five or so awards on air, and dedicated the rest to a minute-long montage. It's not so much the VGA's, it's the VGT's (Video Game Trailers).

Miyamoto is more like MC Escher than Leonardo btw.

But I can't really care that much as they are a pretty good represenation of a lot of the gaming community just not the one that we think of. Basically if we wanted a decent gaming award we'd look to the escapist but we know how our awards often turn out (March Mayhem). I can't really bring myself to care that much but maybe it's just cause I really don't like Felicia Day.

I liked MiB 3 trailer... (please, don't hit me in the face)

You're right Bob, being Shig Miyamoto in this travesty of an "event" would be quite disgraceful.

I mean, seriously, just look at the poor guy listening to that crap:

Stalydan:
If the Oscars were the VGAs, Transformers 3 would be best movie.

In fairness, it would more likely be MOTY.

What would really help is if nobody from the game industry shows up, or better, outright refuses to be a part of it or it's nominations. Spike can't sell an awards show for "manly things" in general.

If the Oscars were the VGAs, they'd be the Grammys.

jackanderson:
When the people who are attending your awards ceremony are complaining about the ceremony and how you've treated them whilst it's still going on, it is most definitely time to re-evaluate your priorities.

I feel really sorry for Mark Hamill and Tara Strong. Their treatments were unacceptable. And I feel extremely sorry for host Zachary Levi. You could tell he wanted to host a good video game awards show and it killed me to slowly see part of him die as the night went on. With crappy pun after crappy pun and awful skit after awful skit. Internet: The man genuinely loves his games! Honest. He was just dealing with an awful script!

Jeff Gerstmann and Alex Navarro both wrote excellent pieces on the VGAs over at Giant Bomb if anyone's interested.

Great vid, Bob!

What happened to Mark Hamill and Tara Strong?

If the Oscars were the VGAs, every Media teacher -as well as Drama and Art- would become even more jaded. Also most of the people watching it would be the sort who most sane people would want to kick in the gonads.

I can't watch this b/c I'm at work.

But damn, the comments are making me sticky this for later

NinjaDC:
HEY!
Don't make fun of the VGA's for making room for more trailers.
Its the only thing the VGA's are good for.

Like the super bowl

This. I had it on as background noise while playing my 3DS only to close that when a trailer came up.

So long as Spike TV keeps this up that's all it'll be good for. That said though, would a majority of gamers watch an Oscar-esk awards show? Least Joker won Character of the Year though.

Thank you Bob. You pointed everything out that is wrong with this show. This years VGA was the first and last time I watched it. Usually I don't care about it, since I live in Europe and had no clue about Spike TV anyway, but I was bored so I watched a live stream... shocking.

If the Oscars were the VGAs:
1. Best Foreign Language Film would not exist so they could give the Michael Bay Award for Best Arse in a Film
2. Transformers would be named Best Picture in 2007 instead of No Country For Old Men
3. An award would be created for Best 3D. And it would go to Transformers 3 and Hugo would not be nominated.
4. Best Art Direction would be replaced by Best Fight scene in a Film, and it would always be given to a Vin Diesel/The Rock fight
5. The films of Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorcese, Francis Ford Coppola, Sidney Lumet, Orson Welles etc would never have even been considered for awards for being too artsy/long/intelligent.
6. Half of the show would be spent performing Eminem songs due to 8 Mile and 50 Cent songs due to Get Rich or Die Trying
7. Norbit would have won the Best Makeup award in 2007, along with Best Actor for Eddie Murphy.
8. Christopher Nolan would be beaten to death by Michael Bay with robo-balls for making intelligent films.

Bob, if you want to see an awards show which treats video games seriously, the Gaming BAFTAs would be the way to go as it is the UK giving gaming its own place in the top media awards in the UK.

There's going to be an MIB3?!? Whoo boy...why does this bode ill?

Definitely feel for you, Bob. Someone should head over to Spike and slap the CEO over the head. Heck, I ALSO want to apologize to Miyamoto-San.

I NOW understand why the game companies are not willing to localize some of their better titles. The VGA proves...we are not worthy of them.

This was a good video, and I knew about MIB3 ages ago... But what I did NOT know, was that Expendables 2 would have motherfucking Chuck Norris in it. I've only just wiped the vomit from my own eyes.

As much as I enjoy Bob's work I feel his hatred of jocks and bro culture is getting out of hand.

MovieBob:
An illustration of how VGAs are ruining our image.

The VGAs don't ruin our image. We ruin our image.

The Escapist is often very idealistic about gaming and gamers, a stance personified by shows like The Big Picture and the former ur-example, Extra Credits. It's a nice stance to take, but it is, deep down and at its worst, as narrow minded as the worst caricature of the online FPS community.

Because it's based on a lie. It's based on the lie that popular franchises from big soulless publishers crush struggling but deserving indies underfoot while drawing in a horde of jocks who ruin our gaming utopia with their crude, uncivilised ways. When I watch Bob sometimes I hear this subtext of "I liked it better when the dudes that bullied me at school didn't like what I like."

Why is it a lie? Because they're not the jocks. They're us.

Nerds/geeks/gamers/whatever used to be a minority, who would have to go out of their way to meet others who shared their interests and would treasure those rare meetings of minds. Then the Internet happened and suddenly we were knee-deep in 'our kind' and we didn't have to be friends with everyone anymore, so we split up into niches and started hating people who were in slightly different niches. You know, just like sports fans do. Just like the jocks do.

The Escapist is not representative of gaming culture. Fucking 4Chan is more representative of that, or would be if there was such a thing.

We became what we hated, and now we get the awards shows we deserve. A shallow, superficial parade of emptiness, hype, stupidity and memes* - just like the rest of the internet, and just like most games.

*teabagging is no better or worse than spamming FUS RO DAH or arrow jokes in forums, but I'm betting if they'd swapped the FPS references for Skyrim references they'd have got a different write up.

Rocklobster99:

jackanderson:
When the people who are attending your awards ceremony are complaining about the ceremony and how you've treated them whilst it's still going on, it is most definitely time to re-evaluate your priorities.

I feel really sorry for Mark Hamill and Tara Strong. Their treatments were unacceptable. And I feel extremely sorry for host Zachary Levi. You could tell he wanted to host a good video game awards show and it killed me to slowly see part of him die as the night went on. With crappy pun after crappy pun and awful skit after awful skit. Internet: The man genuinely loves his games! Honest. He was just dealing with an awful script!

Jeff Gerstmann and Alex Navarro both wrote excellent pieces on the VGAs over at Giant Bomb if anyone's interested.

Great vid, Bob!

What happened to Mark Hamill and Tara Strong?

Shoved up into the bleachers and had the awards in their categories given out in the pre-show. They weren't aware until the internet informed them through Twitter. They mentioned that they didn't win, but they didn't care. They still would've preferred some recognition of their categories.

But yeah, to do that to Hamill and Strong... just disgraceful.

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