Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed: Revelations

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Assassin's Creed: Revelations

This week, Zero Punctuation takes up the hidden blade, hood and faffing about again.

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Another Sequel subscribing to the "Add a word starting with RE after the title" as in Matrix Revolutions, Dead to Rights: Retribution and indeed Assassin's Creed: Revelations. After this and the DRM thing, can we justt shut down Ubisoft? Or at least stop buying their games :D

"Templants vs Zomassassins".

Shh... they might actually do it. =V

This game's one of the disappointments of 2011, it was an unecessary game with very few (and very rushed) additions as well as boring and optional minigames. I honestly got it to just to find out what happened to Lucy, and to play a bit of the MP.

I'd only get this game for the story and frankly I'm happy to just wait for the price to come down. The "one a year" thing is annoying Ubisoft, don't try it. I still like the idea most of us had when the 2nd game came out. Y'know, that he would be jumping about time to uncover various interlinking conspiracies. I mean hell, the extra faffing wouldn't really be complained about if I could dance atop the half-constructed pyramids of ancient Egypt. They're wasting ideas and plot they could use to pad out other, more interesting settings. Sure people would still complain about them but certainly a lot less.

Should be called Afafin's Creed eh, Yahztee?
First Assassinations
Now Tower Defense
Was about the Intrigue
Now Human Resources
Why has running, jumping, stabbing been cut-off?
Nobody knows but Ubisoft

I don't care what Yahztee says, Bejeweled's Creed would effin' rock!

Sequels, sequels...Never ending story.

I must admit, I didn't expect him to say there was a tower defense game.

Or for Yahtzee's profile to have the US flag, but it's probably been like that for ages and I'm the last to find out

I'm not surprised Yahtzee likes the series - it's very different to "the industry norm", and he always likes games for that. One wonders how much he exaggerates the bits he dislikes, though.

So how about that Serious Sam 3: BFE? Surely you must've finished it by now, if you weren't able to do so for this episode. I'm interested to hear your thoughts on it, especially considering you weren't overly optimistic a while ago.

i hope they do an Assasins creed game in the future starring Desmond. if it had some elements of Hitman it could be good

Heh. Gotta love the crossed out Istanbul sign.

Think you needed to add a few more Faff's in there though.

I smell TMBG references...

Ah crap. Someone get him a cappuccino before he kills again!
You know, I'm waiting for Ubi to make a Future Desmond game. Hahaha... All this Assassin's Creed (to quote a phrase) "faffing about" is coming to a head.

Another "fantastic" story featuring Ezio Audacity the Refrigerator.

One of your best vids yet,I congratulate you Mr.Croshaw.

Oh dear gods, the combination of a new layout AND a new Zero Punctuation? I managed to achieve 3 different error pages while trying to get here.

ShenCS:
I'd only get this game for the story and frankly I'm happy to just wait for the price to come down. The "one a year" thing is annoying Ubisoft, don't try it. I still like the idea most of us had when the 2nd game came out. Y'know, that he would be jumping about time to uncover various interlinking conspiracies. I mean hell, the extra faffing wouldn't really be complained about if I could dance atop the half-constructed pyramids of ancient Egypt. They're wasting ideas and plot they could use to pad out other, more interesting settings. Sure people would still complain about them but certainly a lot less.

I just wish the story would move on already. Then again, Ubisoft has suggested AC III will be set in 2012, which kills my hopes for AC in ancient China or Japan.

well hopefully the are done with ezio. i love the character but you can only make an old man do so much. Plus how many times are they going to make him earn the title master assassin. I'm still hoping that ac3 is set in turn of the century England, because i think a Sherlock Holmes style would be a good fit.

Fuck took 45 minutes to watch that vid. This new look sucks, everything is so slow its almost zombiefied. Why change things for the sake of it? Its bullshit. Previous look was far superior and easier to navigate to what you want.

I love the AC games, but i do admit they need to stop stringing out the story, either get the apple or not. But do something new for the next one.

Well thanks alot for the Brotherhood spoiler, For the love of god say spoiler alert BEFORE the spoiler not after it.

Can someone please tell me if there are any ACR spoilers in this review? I've played Brotherhood but I haven't gotten to ACR yet. Thanks :)

Reaching a 'ciritcal' juncture in the story and stringing it out for as long as possible, only going for that one big lurch to save the franchise when it's almost finished circling the rim it's been put into is an aincent marketing tradition, and I'm sorry to see it finally being applied to video games. ... Not including Mario and the majority of fighting game franchises because they've been doind that for as long as anyone.

Yahtzee, I agree with every single word said in that review. You nailed it spot-on.

And I hope you can stomach the first few hours of Skyward Sword, because it supposedly gets better afterwards.

I like the series, but Revelation has the same problem Brotherhood had: they are not relevant, and the story is not relevant because of it. While Ezio's story in AC2 was epic that lasted over 20 years of his life, Brotherhood story can be summarized with 3 bulletpoints and, since its drawn for 15-20 hours, it feels paper thin.

Also, I can't believe I seems to be the only one that noticed that Ezio has to visit the middle east division of the assassins to learn about using bombs. Talking about unfortunate political implications...

When are Ubisoft going to make an assassin's creed in victorian london, where you play jack the ripper, and frame people for crimes so they get deported to australia.
Also, steampunk technology would be pretty fun.

Thanks for the spoiler >.< It's a yearly franchise, I don't have the energy to play them every year.
Other than that, funny one!

serenityzero:
Can someone please tell me if there are any ACR spoilers in this review? I've played Brotherhood but I haven't gotten to ACR yet. Thanks :)

There's a big one for brotherhood, but not for revelations as far as I can tell. Some general things, but nothing specific.

I'm actually fine with an excuse plot to let us adventuring in exotic settings. Too bad we're stuck with Ezio's timeline, but they're at least trying to keep things fresh with the Tower Defense and Portal sections and everything.
The downside to this is that the game starts feeling bloated, but if you're stuck with the order to make a sequel and the old one is already pretty well received, what else you gonna do to make it seem like a game worth your money? Hopefully AC3 will make a skip in technology again.

I really liked the upgrade from AC1 to AC2, but Brotherhood felt like a huge letdown. Story-wise much more mundane than the predecessor, gameplay wise not a lot of interesting changes, it felt like more of the same in a less compelling context.

After playing Revelations I try to ignore Brotherhood or think of it as a Beta. Revelations had a much more interesting story, setting and new gameplay additions - tho the hookblade seems pretty unnecessary for almost all its uses. I guess it's like an Assassin's walking cane when they get too old to grab ledges themselves or maneuver around people or kick their legs out of the way or steal a purse.
Story-wise it still can't reach punching the pope, but at least you get to see the closure to Altair's story, that was more interesting to me than killing the dudes in Brotherhood.

UbiSoft is infamous for stretching out franchises - pretty much killed Rayman - so I actually hope they are gonna do the Templar's side of things yet. I mean, do we know for a fact that the Templar-ruled present is that much more terrible than what the Assassins could've offered? Templars could argue that hivemind Earth could finally complete achievements made impossible by personal quarrels and bickering, elevating human social structures instead of just technology for once.

I'd really like it if they could show the other side of this struggle. Even 16 sarcastically recapped the Assassins are the good guys and the Templars the bad guys, like it's ever this simple. And especially in recent games a lot of Templars actually come off as well-intentioned extremists rather than pure assholes.

Eh, the fans will keep fanboying and the haters will keep hating. I guess this game just isn't one that will change that. So not entirely a bad thing it sounds like to me

The European:
Well thanks alot for the Brotherhood spoiler, For the love of god say spoiler alert BEFORE the spoiler not after it.

you went into a review for a sequel not expecting spoilers for the game before it.

LOL

...I would honestly play that last game he described.

Give Assassin's Creed a sort of Bubba Ho-tep vibe :P

serenityzero:
Can someone please tell me if there are any ACR spoilers in this review? I've played Brotherhood but I haven't gotten to ACR yet. Thanks :)

If you already know which arcs are going to end and which are not, you'll be fine. He doesn't make a take on specific moments.

"Templants vs Zomassassins"

I would so play that!

Yahtzee laid out all my issues with this game. In the main plot, Ezio has to track down some lore Altair stashed away, screams "tacked on sequel" but at least it's succinct and cogent. The Altair flashbacks are kind of interesting, the Desmond memory sequences far less so, but at least they're filling in the backstory or building up to the next game's finale.

But everything else makes no sense. The Constantinople Assassins are doing fine, and have tacit support from the ruling authority. Why do they suddenly hand over leadership of their whole operation to Ezio, a foreigner? I get they respect his exploits as a brother Assassin, and would definitely seek his advice, but that doesn't mean all the locals should suddenly start following a guy who doesn't know the local terrain yet or how half their gear works. And why does Ezio care so much about Ottoman court politics when he should be looking for Altair's keys?

Basically, the dev team wanted to recycle most of the neighbourhood-capturing, city-rebuilding, assassin's guild managing gameplay of Brotherhood, without giving any convincing plot rationale why Ezio would be involved in any of these things in a foreign city.

From the wikipage: "Asked about future of the series, Sébastien Puel from Ubisoft said that "[...] we could do 35 of these [Assassin's Creed games]."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassin's_Creed#Future

So you might want to prepare yourself for plenty of faffing about, Yahtzee.
They're only supposed to do only 3 games with desmond(only one more), so that's a plus, I guess? Unless they mean 35 expansion packs, that is.

I have to say I somehow missed the plot of this game... normally Yahzee tells us what the game is about... now? Tower Defense, Recruitment, and killing some people... is there more meaning?

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