Zero Punctuation: Amy

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Damnit Survival Horror genre! First you're no where to be found, and then when you finally show up, the games suck. What the hell, genre?

I keep telling people they should be giving the creepy girls with powers some hugs! I keep telling people to just show them some love and you'll be fine! This game (as crap as it is) proves this principle. Healing, silence bubbles, AND death rays? Sign me up! Or rather don't, because I don't much like the prospect of being dependent on a little girl to keep me from becoming a zombie.

This game had a lot of problems, but I would give it about a 5.5/10. Maybe a 6.0 if the controls were a little better. Oh, and yes, the forced stealth section was bullshit.

Sonicron:
Kudos to the developers for trolling the entire gaming community. Building a game around one of the most hated gameplay mechanics of all time? Brilliant. I'm calling it now, people - their next game will be titled "Sewerama", and it'll consist of the player character trudging through dark tunnels and knee-deep shit for six hours.

"Sewer Shark" for the Sega CD. Do we need to say more?

Otaku World Order:
Amy... Making Siren and Obscure look like brilliant survival horror games.

Heh...

ObsCure was a great survival game with no budget. Seriously... it was good co-op and they did some logical things that made me smile. For example:

Oooh.... look. A locked door that I can look through the top half since it's glass. It looks like somewhere I want to go into. *breaks glass and unlocks door by reaching through*

How come some high schoolers didthis but Harry, Chris, Leon, Edward, and company couldn't figure this shit out?

FoolKiller:

Otaku World Order:
Amy... Making Siren and Obscure look like brilliant survival horror games.

Heh...

ObsCure was a great survival game with no budget. Seriously... it was good co-op and they did some logical things that made me smile. For example:

Oooh.... look. A locked door that I can look through the top half since it's glass. It looks like somewhere I want to go into. *breaks glass and unlocks door by reaching through*

How come some high schoolers didthis but Harry, Chris, Leon, Edward, and company couldn't figure this shit out?

I blame that on thier dependence on the plot, like typical B-movie protagonists...

I get the slight sensation that Zahtzee Doesn't Like The Game. Much.

Benny Hill zombies!

The greastest idea, I for one would pay good money to watch/play that!

MurderousToaster:

You should see their next project, it's called "Sewers and Keycards: The Fetchquestening" and is set entirely within one long, continuous sewer level where you need to fetch keycards for a man called Dickbag McBallockfuck, who tells you to cunt off and dryhump a cat whenever you give him one.

Oh, they're re-releasing 'Resident Evil 2: The Untold Love Story of a Man and his Crank', which platform is it coming out on?

ResonanceSD:
I get the slight sensation that Zahtzee Doesn't Like The Game. Much.

I got the feeling he didn't like the game at all. But I'm still not sure....hmm.

damn it im shaking in rage from the mere mention on a game based around escorting some one. its bad enough that skyrim has escort missions but to make a whole game based on it makes me want to punch someone in the face.

And for this reason, we have reviewers. I was actually interested in playing this. Now? Not so much. The system works again!

This has been shooting fish in a barrel week......WTF that was hilarious

BehattedWanderer:
And for this reason, we have reviewers. I was actually interested in playing this. Now? Not so much. The system works again!

well i read the review in Game informer and they said it was crap as well

I dunno. I think this game both looks and sounds pretty good. I think im gonna go check it out sometime.

Hunter15:

BehattedWanderer:
And for this reason, we have reviewers. I was actually interested in playing this. Now? Not so much. The system works again!

well i read the review in Game informer and they said it was crap as well

That would be a further example of my point. Between the bevy of gameplay reviews in both print and digital, the only reason to play this once-hopeful game is too see just how accurate the cries of how woefully terrible the game really is. When they claimed it would be something resembling Ico with zombies in, they piqued our interests. By lying, they've earned our scorn, and showed our trepidation about buying it to be correct. As I said--the system works.

What amuses me the most is comparing this review to Susan Arendt's opinions and Yahtzee looking like the calm and collected one... :D

I loathe escort missions in games. I've never played any game where the escort mission didn't suck. So I'm definitely not going to play a game which is pretty much one big escort mission.

"Usually Pair it with other [...] games"
No similar download-only games?

Yahtzee could have easily paired it with Corpse Party.
Maybe he doesn't have a PSP anymore..

I think Amy is wonderful. She makes great sandwiches!

I'm glad I played the demo to help me choose not to buy it.

One of the funniest reviews in a while...there needs to be more games that are so universally disliked because of how bad they are. Just so Yahtzee can tear every last thing about it to shreds!

Fortunately, we do actually have a way to find out of little psychic girls are more powerful than Jason Vorhees, I think its Friday the 13th 8.

Thank you, Yahtzee, for an honest bashing of what sounds like the absolute shittiest horror game ever.

susan already reviewed the game and gave it a very low score. complaining about the Ai and how bad the controls are.
the game sure sounds interesting and looks ok but it is a shame that the outcome is bad. but sure was funny to read that the developers said that the game is just hard, not bad.
well, it says it will come out for the pc, maybe there the controls will be better. if the port will be good and if they really bring it out for pc, thats the other question.

I love it when Yahtzee rips on a game, especially when it's so obviously bad.

Obviously, you were were just playing it wrong Ben.

I mean sheesh... why can't anyone play this game the way it's supposed to be played?

/sarcasm

The door with the different text attached to it brought me to tears.

Second World:
"Usually Pair it with other [...] games"
No similar download-only games?

Yahtzee could have easily paired it with Corpse Party.
Maybe he doesn't have a PSP anymore..

To put Amy in the same sentence as...

No

Just no.

It's wrong, and I won't sit or stand for it!

Corpse Party is a gem remade for the world to enjoy, not a piece of crap that represents a group of developers who failed.

hilarious as always keep up the great work Yahtzee.

You know, for a while, I was honestly expecting Yahtzee to ignore Amy, but on reflection:

1. It's survival horror.
2. It's an indie game.
3. It's shit.

How could good ol' Yahtzee possibly resist?

Ulquiorra4sama:

Zachary Amaranth:

Hitchmeister:
I've said this before and I'll say it every time anyone reviews this game or says anything about it and expresses anything approaching surprise that it's a complete load. This is "Escort Quest: The Game" how could you ever imagine there could be anything redeeming about it?

Seriously, it's one of the most hated parts of video games. And they MADE A GAME AROUND IT!

Who thought this was a good idea?

Well no one complained when Ico did it.

OT: Meh, so it's just not an escort game, it's a BAD escort game. And when it's worse than usual escort missions in games you just know there's no way to enjoy it. Plus i've still not regained my interest in zombies after that tidal wave that his us recently.

Because Ico was fucking interesting. I can't stress this enough, I just watched gameplay of Amy and I myself felt bored. At least when playing Ico the chick behind you didn't have a irritating voice and you had pretty scenery to look at.

Aprilgold:

Ulquiorra4sama:

Zachary Amaranth:

Seriously, it's one of the most hated parts of video games. And they MADE A GAME AROUND IT!

Who thought this was a good idea?

Well no one complained when Ico did it.

OT: Meh, so it's just not an escort game, it's a BAD escort game. And when it's worse than usual escort missions in games you just know there's no way to enjoy it. Plus i've still not regained my interest in zombies after that tidal wave that his us recently.

Because Ico was fucking interesting. I can't stress this enough, I just watched gameplay of Amy and I myself felt bored. At least when playing Ico the chick behind you didn't have a irritating voice and you had pretty scenery to look at.

Eh, that's kinda my point with the rest of that post. You shouldn't bash on the Escort thing just because that's what the game was based around because apparently there are games, such as Ico, that managed to make an escort game interesting. I suppose Amy was just really badly handled compared to Ico.

I just found out that the guy who made this game was Paul Cuisset, the same guy that made Flashback. How did he go from making a kick-ass game (Yahtzee actually did an LP of it I think) to this?

Oh well, at least we get a funny review out of it.

This is the kind of Yahtzee video I like, where he charges in blind and rages at what he finds. Over a dozen of his last videos have concerned games that he already has heavy biases for or against and so he ends up talking more about that bias than his discoveries in the game.

In his older videos there was a sense of charming naivety that could only come about by being surprisingly flustered by a game's presentation or mechanics. Since he's always forced to review mainstream sequels these days, his videos are always based heavily on a bias that he's already formed.

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