Jimquisition: Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story

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Fat_Hippo:
I can honestly say I've never heard so many different terms for penis and wanking within 8 minutes. You, sir, are a gentlemen and a scholar. Of gayness.

Indeed, it was very... educational. Can't wait to read the whole thing.

If I knew how to do image posts, I would post that Rainbow Dash macro that's captioned
"I have

the wingest boner"

Because that's what I have. The absolute wingest.

Jimothy Sterling:

El Luck:
Ok this doesn't have anything to do with the video but why am I being asked to verify my age?

According to the people in charge, this week's video blurred the line between editorial and erotica.

There is no question this is pure erotica. And it's gay GAMING erotica. It's horrible! Oh the horror! :P
And just got the minor feeling this is might be minor nudge at the "scandal" Mass Effect 3 will allow homosexual relationship between men! They already managed sex and lesbians so the last thing really needed this... or something..

I'm not American or easily upset by sexuality in general, and I find this vid rather fun, so I'm in the camp that doesn't really understand why it's controversial with having "gay-relationship" in games is all about. The game already stars a 18+ rating so what is the problem?
I'm straight and I don't care what other people are in to be that bi/homo/straight/or other more usual thing, just don't force it on me.
And either you're drawn to ladies, men, something else (or all of them..) when you get to that age, a game/book/film/and so on will not change this, and neither of these feelings are "wrong"/"bad"/...

I can in ME play as whatever I want straight/bi/homo/asexual/or not caring about relationships whatsoever...
And that is the way I want my 18+ RPG's.
That is, NOT child friendly.

PS. Found the age verification rather fun part of this and surprised that Jim didn't make a joke about it...

I understand some of you complained about not seeing the point in this video. I had thought the point was perfectly clear, but the camera was aimed too high to get my penis in shot. Sorry, I really screwed the shot up.

Syntax Man:
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, lemme get this straight, Jim and Yahtzee can cus like sailors and the thing is fine with that, but an the mere mention of homosexuality it age gates the fucking thing?

Real mature, seems that this world still has a long way to go.

It's nothing new. You can have guys blowing each others brains out to have them splattered all over the the sidewalk and it be a teen rated movie, but as soon as a little bit of boob enters the equation it's rated Mature.

dtocs:
Seriously tho, that was a really cleaver point he made, may actually be the best video his done!

Comrade_Beric:
The point was in there, buried deep within the quivering bowels of his message. You made need to slide back into the video and search for it again.

Maybe I'm not familiar enough with the game or I'm just a bit thick, but what was the point?
Please enlighten me.
The only thing I thought it could have been was that the necessity of choosing Commander Sheppard's sexual orientation (if indeed that is part of the game - as said, not familiar with ME3) seems superfluous to Jim..? But after watching and re-watching the video I don't think it's that and I'm not even sure you can choose his sexual orientation.
So yeah - colour me stumped.

I'm sensing a poke at something underneath all this. Was there some sort of controversy about homosexuality in ME3 that I missed?

I understood the point but, as others have stated, the video seemed a little long for the point (God too many puns can be made off this sentence). Then again, how were you able to keep a straight face while reading the entire thing on camera?

LazyAza:
If I had my way my femshep would be whoring herself out to just about everyone on the normandy. She's already banged Liara and Garrus. lol

Great vid Jim, loved the original article over at destructoid and this video version made it that much funnier. To think their are actually people in the world who think having the option of being gay in a game somehow forces them to become gay while playing said game, amazing.

I'm wondering how people would flip if there was a protagonist in a popular video game was *gasp* actually gay. Like, if it wasn't an option.

Pretty scary, right?

Heh, I saw read this on Destructoid a few days back, but actually looking at Jim as he reads it made me feel dirty. Really dirty.
Very imaginative way to make a point. And funny.

Here is "the point", for everyone who is too turned on to think:

Jim repeats the idea that every Mass Effect 3 player is turning gay by the game having homosexuality in it.
This is of course a mixture of Irony and Exaggeration, meaning that he says nobody will turn gay by the game alone.

The secound point is that he repeats how people are requirred to think about the option of gayness all the time.
This means that nobody is forced to see any of the gay stuff, since it is an option.

This defuses the two most common "arguments" people could make against homosexuality in a video game. The only thing left standing is something like "It is tasteless", which isn't an argument to begin with.

But maybe I am wrong, maybe the point of the video was to win a bet that he could pass off a decent gay fancfiction as an episode of his show.

image
How could you NOT love Commander Shepard? He's the most awesome more-than-human being since Jesus!

...a pretty accurate description of what those who have a problem with ME3 having an option for gay romance probably think it'll be and do.

Some would call it smutty fanfiction, others Fair and Balanced information. This be a good jab at the latter.

I applaud Jim for being able to keep a straight face all the way through that.

Good use of irony there Jim Sterling, thank God for you!

geier:
This was the first Jimquisition that was to boring to watch, i skipped in 30 second steps.

Basically.

I was hoping it was some kind of "Shut the hell up" to all the homophobes regarding ME3. Alas, twas not so.

I, ah, I eruhhh... I don't - I don't know. I don't know why I listened to all of this. The full 8 minutes. It... ah... it was something.

I must link this to everyone I know, and gauge their reactions.

MonkeyPunch:
Maybe I'm not familiar enough with the game or I'm just a bit thick, but what was the point? Please enlighten me.

For grammatical simplicity, I'll stick to the presumption that Commander Shepard is male. In Mass Effect 1, if you played a male Shepard, your only romantic options were either a female human or a female alien. In Mass Effect 2, your choices were pretty similar. In Mass Effect 3, they decided to allow you to choose to be with a male character if you so choose. Some people flipped out and whined about Bioware forcing "gay culture" into their games and the affects that could have on those who play it. This is Jim basically going on a satirical tare on the notion that Mass Effect 3 will make men gay because it has that option in it.

I admit, the video didn't make the context clear, but to those of us already aware of the situation this was a most perfect slice of satire.

I'm torn between feeling that he made the point rather well and that this was eight minutes of highly refined trolling. Homophobia-trolling, to be sure, but still.

That was hilarious, I was laughing throughout the whole thing. The Jimquisition is the best thing about Mondays. Thank God for Jim.

MonkeyPunch:

Syntax Man:
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, lemme get this straight, Jim and Yahtzee can cus like sailors and the thing is fine with that, but an the mere mention of homosexuality it age gates the fucking thing?

Real mature, seems that this world still has a long way to go.

It's nothing new. You can have guys blowing each others brains out to have them splattered all over the the sidewalk and it be a teen rated movie, but as soon as a little bit of boob enters the equation it's rated Mature.

dtocs:
Seriously tho, that was a really cleaver point he made, may actually be the best video his done!

Comrade_Beric:
The point was in there, buried deep within the quivering bowels of his message. You made need to slide back into the video and search for it again.

Maybe I'm not familiar enough with the game or I'm just a bit thick, but what was the point?
Please enlighten me.
The only thing I thought it could have been was that the necessity of choosing Commander Sheppard's sexual orientation (if indeed that is part of the game - as said, not familiar with ME3) seems superfluous to Jim..? But after watching and re-watching the video I don't think it's that and I'm not even sure you can choose his sexual orientation.
So yeah - colour me stumped.

It was a very longwinded dramatic point but the short of it is, some gamers have reacted to the news that a male/male relationship option is wrong and imagine that ME3 will encourage people to be gay. The way Jim acted highlighted how stupid that line of thinking can be. It was satire at its best.

I feel cheated for my jimquisition this week. If I wanted gay erotica, id go hang out with harry potter fans.

Ok... If you are NOT gay, but like to see male NPCs have sex... She-Shepard, you don't really have to have male with male... if you want to see your male NPCs have it... it's choice... but if you went with Guy-Shepard, try stick with Female NPCs... that is IF YOU ARE NOT GAY... however, if you decide to just DO EVERY NPCs because you are "king" like that... then X-away... I think the designers of this game is just try to say "In the future, sexuality is more open then now... Homosexual/Bisexual is treated equal... because it's ok even for inter species intercourse, why would they have ANY problem with homosexuality?" that's all... the option is there, but you don't HAVE TO...

Now, if they put a trophy, or optional quest item...for players that execute Homosexual choice... this would be different... then, I'd think like Jim, they are pushing for "gayness"

But then again... we ARE having a population crisis here... who's to blame?

Fun video Jim, nice satire.

This was really funny. The Age gate was part of the joke In my opinion.

My Shep is straight (Male shep is anyway - Fem shep is spending quality time with Kelly Chambers)

My issue with romance in any game is that there's not a lot to do with them once you've romanced them - they're kind-of objectified. So you find them interesting and want to pursue a relationship with them, make all the right moves and then it stops after the "Side-Boob" scene and "Achievement Unlocked".

If there were other conversations which opened up or things you could do with them, additional dialog on missions that would add a lot to the relationship - make it mean something.

I felt the same way in ME1 and 2 - Even Fable.

Oh Jim you cheeky bastard. :) That was brill. You nearly always make my Monday. Thank Jim for Jim. :)

Thank god I had my boner pants on

Solution: Play as FemShep.

Because Lesbians are awesome.

theriddlen:
image
How could you NOT love Commander Shepard? He's the most awesome more-than-human being since Jesus!

hence, his name "Shepard"... it's an indication of Christ-like men. (remember? he died, and was revived...) it's like "Neo" from matrix, the lion guy from Chronicles of Narnia...Etc...

Not that it wasn't funny, but it really was a strawman argument; I think we've had enough threads about this already, but most of the objections are about canonical authenticity and over when gay relationships were introduced.

Ok... this is not troubling me, 'coz I play as FemShep. But still, I will never look at this game the same.

LazyAza:
If I had my way my femshep would be whoring herself out to just about everyone on the normandy. She's already banged Liara and Garrus. lol

Great vid Jim, loved the original article over at destructoid and this video version made it that much funnier. To think their are actually people in the world who think having the option of being gay in a game somehow forces them to become gay while playing said game, amazing.

My FemShep stayed loyal to Liara. Also, avatar bro-fist!

Oh my gosh. That was horrible!

>.> <.<

But why do I have a stiffy?

Zhukov:

Also, I am totally har Also, I would dearly like to know how he managed to keep a straight face while reading it.

A lot of the time, It is said that if you really are funny, you never laugh at your own jokes. Observe any Great Comedian and then compare to Dane Cook, you notice that on top of the amount of laughs you get from the performer, You have a comedian who stays completely straightfaced.

This is what I have heard, so it can be wrong, I suppose, but its a general rule of comedy.

OT: I was laughing until about 6 minutes in, then for 40 seconds it wasn't funny, then for a minute it was, then the end wasn't very funny.

Overall, I did laugh, and Jim pulls me out of my depression for a few minutes. Thank you.

Toilet:
Solution: Play as FemShep.

Because Lesbians are awesome.

Amen Brother, Amen (guy speaking); but only good in fantasy, not in real life, because we NEED MORE WOMEN TO GO AROUND, too many men, not enough women... or maybe... we DO need more gay people... more chance for us...

dtocs:

It was a very longwinded dramatic point but the short of it is, some gamers have reacted to the news that a male/male relationship option is wrong and imagine that ME3 will encourage people to be gay. The way Jim acted highlighted how stupid that line of thinking can be. It was satire at its best.

Ah thanks. I knew there was something.
I haven't yet come across the uproar about being able to select your sexual orientation.
Haven't had much time to read gaming news this past week or two :(

.... Thank Jim for Jim
That was truly beautiful. It is now my mission in life to get the phrase 'suckling on each other like piglets at feeding time' into my everyday conversation. Also, i'm not sure many of you will get this, but Jim really reminds me of Garth Marenghi in this video.

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