Jimquisition: Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story

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Tanakh:
I am not particulary trilled by a gay shepard, my problem is that it feels like retconning.

Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner. RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

You know I originally didn't care.

After this video I still don't care.

But if putting gayness in video games causes people to make stupid videos such as this... Well I'm against it now.

Seriously this episode was pointless.

Jim Sterling:
Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story

It's time you people got a little bit of culture down your filthy gullets. Jim Sterling has been hard at work penning his magnus opus, and he has invited you lucky children into his studio for a sneak preview.

Join the world's greatest warrior poet as he provides a reading of his latest, greatest, literary work -- Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story.

Watch Video

Well, for once in a long while, I think this Jimquisition was a wasted opportunity to bag all the whiners complaining about the option in the game... the entire 8 minutes of sarcastic, and horribly cliched dialogue is meant to do that, but giving detail and analysis would've been more interesting, I didn't really find this funny, but for anyone stupid enough not to like ME3 because of the option mentioned in this video, if they were stupid enough not to like it before the video, but still watched the entire video, well I have no idea how they'd feel, hopefully like an idiot at not liking the game in the first place, and realisation that they had no justification for not liking the game?

Anyway, next week will be good, so meh, one mediocre blip is alright.

Haha, you aren't exactly the type for subtlety, am I right Jim?

image

Syntax Man:
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, lemme get this straight, Jim and Yahtzee can cus like sailors and the thing is fine with that, but an the mere mention of homosexuality it age gates the fucking thing?

Real mature, seems that this world still has a long way to go.

As for the actual episode...what the flying fuck was that?

I'm sure others have spelled it out for you, but the joke is all that warning about an erotic novel is really just a story mocking the folks raising a stink about gay options by having A Mass Effect fan suddenly feel himself "turn gay" because it's an option in game.

I'm caught between thoughts of "that was hilarious" and "that was the most awkward thing I've listened to ever." Of course, the point made is a good one, but one people will miss or ignore because they are stupid.

Well this was about the gayest greatest thing I've ever seen.

I read this on Destructoid, made me cringe :D - The very best of British humour, good ol' satire. This is the best way to convey a message about those crying out with that stupid argument, Mass Effect makes people do gay things.

Nice one, Jim - very disturbing but epic nonetheless.

If having a sense of humor is laughing to that garbage then I'll gladly proclaim myself the unfunniest man in the world. That was just disgusting, even as a work of satire.

Good points Jim I like the satire but it doesn't avert the fact that Mass Effect 3 is looking like a sinking ship in so many aspects that have nothing to do with badly written gay romance options (some assumption there but since all the other romances in modern Bioware titles are so bad it leads me to believe the trend won't be broken)

Varya:
Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner. RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

Did you read the rest of the post?

Anyway, for 1 to 4, yeah, and you can roleplay Shepard is the incarnation of Zeus and likes to get into anyfreking thing but he only realized that after ME2, right? And it is fine, but if that went into the game it would be retconning which I particulary don't like. Yeah, he can have sex with whatever or do whatever the writer wants, if it's well written go ahead, still if in 200+ hours of gameplay he didn't showed the slightest interest in having man to man sex and then in the third installment he does, it is a retcon, and while I don't mind gay options and in general i am glad they are occuring in videogames that have heterosexual and lesbian options, for me retcons are fugly.

As for 5... Garrus? Have you seen his morphology? I mean it certanly beats doing Grunt but his skin looks like sandpaper and his visible orifices... well, i guess there are ultra thick condoms and lots of high tech lube in ME world... but no, wouldn't be my first choice.

absolutely magnificent. i am all for equality naturally. glad mass effect will now turn men gay too.

To much gay to watch this video....I got a very good imagination and just couldn't continue listening.

I love you Jim, I really do. That was amazing. Seriously, stop doing the Jimquisition, start writing more slash stories.

Volf:
this was disgusting....I think..I think I'm going to puke

Can't stomach a little homo eroticism?

OT: That was pure genius, take a bow good sir!

I find this point quite moot. Shepard is a woman, after all.

:P

But hey, if Garrus wants man-lovin' from Wrex or somethin', I'm not one to judge.

Sovereignty:
You know I originally didn't care.

After this video I still don't care.

But if putting gayness in video games causes people to make stupid videos such as this... Well I'm against it now.

Seriously this episode was pointless.

Its making fun of the idea that some people have in their head that having homosexuality in games can 'turn you gay'.

DressedInRags:

Heaven's Guardian:
Not that it wasn't funny, but it really was a strawman argument; I think we've had enough threads about this already, but most of the objections are about canonical authenticity and over when gay relationships were introduced.

What, so if a strait femshep decides to bat for the other team in the second installment, that's acceptable?

But when a male Shepard does it, then OMG CONTINUITY FUCKUP?

That makes no sense to me.Is femshep allowed to get away with it because they're more used to seeing girls go both ways in their porn? Has no-body told these people that men can be casually bisexual as well?

Pretty damned spot on, welcome to double standards.

Some JQ's are funny some are serious with a hard hitting message.

Some are good this episode is not any of these things.

He really gets into the expression of his points. I approve. Great job Jim.

This reminds me of Dragon Age 2, and certain young men getting annoyed at all the gay in that one forceful character.

Tanakh:

Varya:
Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner. RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

Did you read the rest of the post?

Anyway, for 1 to 4, yeah, and you can roleplay Shepard is the incarnation of Zeus and likes to get into anyfreking thing but he only realized that after ME2, right? And it is fine, but if that went into the game it would be retconning which I particulary don't like. Yeah, he can have sex with whatever or do whatever the writer wants, if it's well written go ahead, still if in 200+ hours of gameplay he didn't showed the slightest interest in having man to man sex and then in the third installment he does, it is a retcon, and while I don't mind gay options and in general i am glad they are occuring in videogames that have heterosexual and lesbian options, for me retcons are fugly.

As for 5... Garrus? Have you seen his morphology? I mean it certanly beats doing Grunt but his skin looks like sandpaper and his visible orifices... well, i guess there are ultra thick condoms and lots of high tech lube in ME world... but no, wouldn't be my first choice.

I skimmed it to be honest, it's in the middle of the night here. I was just latching on to a quote to make my point.
Still, I don't think it's a retcon unless you play it as one. As I said, if you start it at three, it's all good, so let the new players have the option, yes? (bah, grammar are stupids anyway) and then it's kind of dicksih (pun intended) to withhold the dong from the player who have played their Sheppard through the years but secretly wanted the badonkadonkdonk. And it's still entirely possible to set out with the intention to have Shepard realise he's been living a lie at the moment he caught Garrus arm after defeating the ME2 boss. So yes, you can still play it as a retcon, but you can also retcon your own story by saying that the Paragon shit was only an act and play the last game as a Renegade. So the real shame lies in That you can't play as (openly) gay in 1 and 2, and that's a bad reason for not being ablemto do it in 3.
And yes, Garrus, that voice makes my pants tingly. The pain is worth it

Rainboq:

Volf:
this was disgusting....I think..I think I'm going to puke

Can't stomach a little homo eroticism?

OT: That was pure genius, take a bow good sir!

I'm not gay, so I don't want to hear some gay fanfict.

D34dM4n:
*stands up, begins slow clap*
Bravo, sir. Bravo

Agreed. And let us all thank the gods for Jim Sterling. ^^

Exterminas:
I never really understood what the deal was about Bioware and their over-the-top-commitment to straight relationships. Femshep boning Lizard-Men is alright, but Lesbians are unholy?

Actually, it isn't Bioware's fault. They tried to have homosexual options in ME1 (the code is still in there, half done) but the guy who did the motion capture for Male Shep (some sort of Underwear model, I believe?) threw a hissy fit about anything "gay" being associated with him and threatened to not let them use his face for Shepard if they made it possible for Male Shep to be gay.

Unable to have gay Male Shep, Bioware removed Ashley from Femshep's options to make things fair.

They tried again in ME2 (again, the options are in the code, but unfinished) but hit the same wall from Mr. Underpants model.

However, since ME3 is the last game with Shepard in it, they no longer have to give a fuck about pissing Mr. Underpants off. Hence the gay options in ME3.

LazyAza:
If I had my way my femshep would be whoring herself out to just about everyone on the normandy. She's already banged Liara and Garrus. lol

My Femshep is actually pretty specific about only dating one girl at a time (she's gay - Liara, Kelly, and (hopefully) Tali... or maybe Liara again, I can't decide).

However, my Male Shep is a total slut. Too bad you're only allowed to sleep with one crew member per game (unlike, say, Dragon Age) because, if he could, my Male Shep would work his way through every female crew member and half of the men too.

I played my Male Shep as my male DA:O character and managed to sleep with all four romancable party members before the end. I ended with Morrigan because he and she fit so well together. Also, it was hilarious when Leliana suspected I was cheating on her. I kept her happy on total bullshit while continuing to sleep with Morrigan. My Male Shep/Hero of Fereldin is a total Renegade bastard. ^^ I love him.

Volf:

Rainboq:

Volf:
this was disgusting....I think..I think I'm going to puke

Can't stomach a little homo eroticism?

OT: That was pure genius, take a bow good sir!

I'm not gay, so I don't want to hear some gay fanfict.

Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

Rainboq:

Volf:

Rainboq:
Can't stomach a little homo eroticism?

OT: That was pure genius, take a bow good sir!

I'm not gay, so I don't want to hear some gay fanfict.

Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

It is very graphic satire that I didn't choose to finish listening to because I don't need those kind of images in my head.

I didn't mean puking in the literal sense, obviously.

Therumancer:
But then again one of the problems with the left wing and those defending left wing issues is that they tend to create an image of the enemy in their own mind, and beat up straw men, without ever dealing with the actual issues..

That quickly became ironic when you made the assumption that Jim is left-wing because he isn't offended by Bioware putting male gay characters in a game they created. Beating up straw men indeed. In actuality Jim is very much a libertarian which was still pretty much on the right when I last checked.

Also a survey made in the US 2010 had 3.5% self-identify as homo- or bisexual (usually the number of people admitting to having had sex with someone of their own gender is higher but I couldn't find recent statistics on that) instead of 0.1%. But I guess that's fairly close you were only off by 3500%.

Also what do you know about Bioware's motivations? Unless you were at the meeting where they went:
Bioware person 1: "Oh yeah and we need to make a male gay romance option because the entitlement of the gay rights movement is somehow forcing us."
Bioware person 2: "But what about the poor non-homosexuals who will all feel sick to their stomachs about the idea that one of the male characters might enjoy sex with another man. Because all heterosexuals feel that way and them not wanting the LGB community to be represented in our game because the idea upsets them is totally not entitlement because of reasons."
Bioware person 1: "I know I want to stand by their side as they are truly victims, true sufferers in this whole affair but somehow the gay rights movement is forcing us."

Unless you were at that meeting, or Bioware released a really passive aggressive press release stating that this was the case that I missed, I have no idea how you would know why Bioware did this.

Bara_no_Hime:

D34dM4n:
*stands up, begins slow clap*
Bravo, sir. Bravo

Agreed. And let us all thank the gods for Jim Sterling. ^^

Exterminas:
I never really understood what the deal was about Bioware and their over-the-top-commitment to straight relationships. Femshep boning Lizard-Men is alright, but Lesbians are unholy?

Actually, it isn't Bioware's fault. They tried to have homosexual options in ME1 (the code is still in there, half done) but the guy who did the motion capture for Male Shep (some sort of Underwear model, I believe?) threw a hissy fit about anything "gay" being associated with him and threatened to not let them use his face for Shepard if they made it possible for Male Shep to be gay.

Unable to have gay Male Shep, Bioware removed Ashley from Femshep's options to make things fair.

They tried again in ME2 (again, the options are in the code, but unfinished) but hit the same wall from Mr. Underpants model.

However, since ME3 is the last game with Shepard in it, they no longer have to give a fuck about pissing Mr. Underpants off. Hence the gay options in ME3.

LazyAza:
If I had my way my femshep would be whoring herself out to just about everyone on the normandy. She's already banged Liara and Garrus. lol

My Femshep is actually pretty specific about only dating one girl at a time (she's gay - Liara, Kelly, and (hopefully) Tali... or maybe Liara again, I can't decide).

However, my Male Shep is a total slut. Too bad you're only allowed to sleep with one crew member per game (unlike, say, Dragon Age) because, if he could, my Male Shep would work his way through every female crew member and half of the men too.

I played my Male Shep as my male DA:O character and managed to sleep with all four romancable party members before the end. I ended with Morrigan because he and she fit so well together. Also, it was hilarious when Leliana suspected I was cheating on her. I kept her happy on total bullshit while continuing to sleep with Morrigan. My Male Shep/Hero of Fereldin is a total Renegade bastard. ^^ I love him.

yeah its completely a "hissy fit" if you are uncomfortable doing something that isn't part of your sexuality. /sarcasm

Volf:

Rainboq:

Volf:
I'm not gay, so I don't want to hear some gay fanfict.

Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

It is very graphic satire that I didn't choose to finish listening to because I don't need those kind of images in my head.-snip-

Well why not? Homosexuality never hurt anyone in and of itself.

There had to be a better way to make this point.

Why do I feel like something to this effect (heh) is going to show up in mainstream media?

I can see the headlines now:

"Game Makers Pushing Gay Agenda"
"Liberal Activists Corrupting Young Children through Games"
"Mass Erotica 3?"

Oh, and if they use this video as ammunition, I will disown you, Jim.

Rainboq:

Volf:

Rainboq:
Can't stomach a little homo eroticism?

OT: That was pure genius, take a bow good sir!

I'm not gay, so I don't want to hear some gay fanfict.

Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

Well, from my experience teens teens that don't want to have anything remotely gay around are just afraid of it crawling in and truning them on. Nothing wrong about it, at 16 it would have perturbed me to go to the gym or a sauna with a gay friend, heck, last time i went with a bunch of friends to a gay dace club (i love to dance and gays sure do know how to) one of them kept himself out of the bathroom because he was sure all the guys would "check out his tool", that insured hilarity for the night, and he ended up going to a dark lonly alley after we went out.

I didn't even know this point had to be made...

Rainboq:

Volf:

Rainboq:
Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

It is very graphic satire that I didn't choose to finish listening to because I don't need those kind of images in my head.-snip-

Well why not? Homosexuality never hurt anyone in and of itself.

....because I don't like the graphic idea of somebodies penis in my head, nor do I want to picture gay sex.

Also, your comment about history is silly, perhaps well intended, but also wrong. Just look at US prisons to see where people have become victims.

Volf:

Bara_no_Hime:

D34dM4n:
*stands up, begins slow clap*
Bravo, sir. Bravo

Agreed. And let us all thank the gods for Jim Sterling. ^^

Exterminas:
I never really understood what the deal was about Bioware and their over-the-top-commitment to straight relationships. Femshep boning Lizard-Men is alright, but Lesbians are unholy?

Actually, it isn't Bioware's fault. They tried to have homosexual options in ME1 (the code is still in there, half done) but the guy who did the motion capture for Male Shep (some sort of Underwear model, I believe?) threw a hissy fit about anything "gay" being associated with him and threatened to not let them use his face for Shepard if they made it possible for Male Shep to be gay.

Unable to have gay Male Shep, Bioware removed Ashley from Femshep's options to make things fair.

They tried again in ME2 (again, the options are in the code, but unfinished) but hit the same wall from Mr. Underpants model.

However, since ME3 is the last game with Shepard in it, they no longer have to give a fuck about pissing Mr. Underpants off. Hence the gay options in ME3.

LazyAza:
If I had my way my femshep would be whoring herself out to just about everyone on the normandy. She's already banged Liara and Garrus. lol

My Femshep is actually pretty specific about only dating one girl at a time (she's gay - Liara, Kelly, and (hopefully) Tali... or maybe Liara again, I can't decide).

However, my Male Shep is a total slut. Too bad you're only allowed to sleep with one crew member per game (unlike, say, Dragon Age) because, if he could, my Male Shep would work his way through every female crew member and half of the men too.

I played my Male Shep as my male DA:O character and managed to sleep with all four romancable party members before the end. I ended with Morrigan because he and she fit so well together. Also, it was hilarious when Leliana suspected I was cheating on her. I kept her happy on total bullshit while continuing to sleep with Morrigan. My Male Shep/Hero of Fereldin is a total Renegade bastard. ^^ I love him.

yeah its completely a "hissy fit" if you are uncomfortable doing something that isn't part of your sexuality. /sarcasm

Except he's not doing something. A virtual man that looks like him is doing that something.

Volf:

Rainboq:

Volf:
I'm not gay, so I don't want to hear some gay fanfict.

Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

It is very graphic satire that I didn't choose to finish listening to because I don't need those kind of images in my head.

I didn't mean puking in the literal sense, obviously.

:D

Get them out! Out of my head. ARrrrrrrrgh!

You do realise, this was the joke?

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