Jimquisition: Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story

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Falseprophet:
Dr. Mordin Solus recommends avoiding fellatio with Garrus: dextro-amino acids can cause an allergic reaction in Shepard's body. Also, watch out for chafing.

Thanks for nearly making me laugh loudly at work, Jim.

He also recommends against it with Thane as it can leave you tripping balls.

All the gayness in that story made me gay.

Thyunda:

Volf:

Bara_no_Hime:

Agreed. And let us all thank the gods for Jim Sterling. ^^

Actually, it isn't Bioware's fault. They tried to have homosexual options in ME1 (the code is still in there, half done) but the guy who did the motion capture for Male Shep (some sort of Underwear model, I believe?) threw a hissy fit about anything "gay" being associated with him and threatened to not let them use his face for Shepard if they made it possible for Male Shep to be gay.

Unable to have gay Male Shep, Bioware removed Ashley from Femshep's options to make things fair.

They tried again in ME2 (again, the options are in the code, but unfinished) but hit the same wall from Mr. Underpants model.

However, since ME3 is the last game with Shepard in it, they no longer have to give a fuck about pissing Mr. Underpants off. Hence the gay options in ME3.

My Femshep is actually pretty specific about only dating one girl at a time (she's gay - Liara, Kelly, and (hopefully) Tali... or maybe Liara again, I can't decide).

However, my Male Shep is a total slut. Too bad you're only allowed to sleep with one crew member per game (unlike, say, Dragon Age) because, if he could, my Male Shep would work his way through every female crew member and half of the men too.

I played my Male Shep as my male DA:O character and managed to sleep with all four romancable party members before the end. I ended with Morrigan because he and she fit so well together. Also, it was hilarious when Leliana suspected I was cheating on her. I kept her happy on total bullshit while continuing to sleep with Morrigan. My Male Shep/Hero of Fereldin is a total Renegade bastard. ^^ I love him.

yeah its completely a "hissy fit" if you are uncomfortable doing something that isn't part of your sexuality. /sarcasm

Except he's not doing something. A virtual man that looks like him is doing that something.

He still has a right to decide how he is depicted, people don't have to agree with his choice, but they should respect it.

Varya:
And yes, Garrus, that voice makes my pants tingly. The pain is worth it

Ahh, the all important voice. Went to amateur singing classes and did try runs with female friends and gay friends perfecting the tone to score casual sex with girls, and totally worth it :D
Not that hard either, now i listen to some of the songs of leonard cohen (the old cohen, not the young one) to get it right before a club/party.

And yeah, i understand i am being too hard on retconning, but it's something i dislike a lot.

Volf:

Rainboq:

Volf:
It is very graphic satire that I didn't choose to finish listening to because I don't need those kind of images in my head.-snip-

Well why not? Homosexuality never hurt anyone in and of itself.

....because I don't like the graphic idea of somebodies penis in my head, nor do I want to picture gay sex.

Also, your comment about history is silly, perhaps well intended, but also wrong. Just look at US prisons to see where people have become victims.

That's rape, not homosexuality. Homosexuality is simply being attracted to another of the same sex, how one acts based on that has nothing to do with homosexuality itself, but rather the individuals past experiences.

And why not, what's wrong with a phallus?

I say old chap:

Volf:

Rainboq:
Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

It is very graphic satire that I didn't choose to finish listening to because I don't need those kind of images in my head.

I didn't mean puking in the literal sense, obviously.

:D

Get them out! Out of my head. ARrrrrrrrgh!

You do realise, this was the joke?

yep, doesn't change my desire to not hear it.

Tanakh:

Rainboq:

Volf:
I'm not gay, so I don't want to hear some gay fanfict.

Its satire, its not actual gay slash. That's hardly a reason, does it physically disturb you, or just emotionally?

Well, from my experience teens teens that don't want to have anything remotely gay around are just afraid of it crawling in and truning them on. Nothing wrong about it, at 16 it would have perturbed me to go to the gym or a sauna with a gay friend, heck, last time i went with a bunch of friends to a gay dace club (i love to dance and gays sure do know how to) one of them kept himself out of the bathroom because he was sure all the guys would "check out his tool", that insured hilarity for the night, and he ended up going to a dark lonly alley after we went out.

XD That sounds like an epic night.

Thanks Jim, you just made me ill to think of milkshakes. From the comments and the vid I think I grasp the message but I think it could be summed up with a shorter video. I really wanted to see how it all ended though.

Varya:

Tanakh:
I am not particulary trilled by a gay shepard, my problem is that it feels like retconning.

Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner. RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

Well if we accomodatd your Shepard then what about the people that want to be able to bugger livestock with their Shepard? Are they not as important as the gay crowd? What about the people out there that want a pedo Shepard? Do we accommodate them too and maybe throw a couple little boys on the ship? These are all just options after all.

Oh my god that was so funny.

Well played Mr Sterling, well played.

Xanthious:
snip

Erm you do know bestiality and pedophilia are taboo because the other party is not capable of being consensual.

They have no relation to homosexuality at all...which is sex between two consenting adults of the same sex.

Rainboq:
That's rape, not homosexuality. Homosexuality is simply being attracted to another of the same sex, how one acts based on that has nothing to do with homosexuality itself, but rather the individuals past experiences.

And why not, what's wrong with a phallus?

You made a sweeping generalization that homosexuality has never hurt anybody, I called bs because it has(i.e. people have committed crimes because of it). Now I'm not saying that all homosexuals are bad people(because their not) just that it is ignorant of you to say that no homosexual has ever hurt anybody because their homosexual.

I think it was masterful, how far he was willing to go, into the material, to make the point of how ridiculous it is for a game to turn a person gay--to turn all players of it gay, because of its mighty gayness.

Xanthious:

Varya:

Tanakh:
I am not particulary trilled by a gay shepard, my problem is that it feels like retconning.

Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner. RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

Well if we accomodatd your Shepard then what about the people that want to be able to bugger livestock with their Shepard? Are they not as important as the gay crowd? What about the people out there that want a pedo Shepard? Do we accommodate them too and maybe throw a couple little boys on the ship? These are all just options after all.

^^This so much. I was thinking about this too

Rainboq:
XD That sounds like an epic night.

Was last new year's eve. We tried some dark/goth straight clubs before... but they were empty, i guess straight guys are with the family and gay guys partying! And the nice thing about going to gay joints being straight is that you can just dance and do whatever you fucking want without eyeballing anyone, even better if you take a female friend.

Volf:

Rainboq:
That's rape, not homosexuality. Homosexuality is simply being attracted to another of the same sex, how one acts based on that has nothing to do with homosexuality itself, but rather the individuals past experiences.

And why not, what's wrong with a phallus?

You made a sweeping generalization that homosexuality has never hurt anybody, I called bs because it has(i.e. people have committed crimes because of it). Now I'm not saying that all homosexuals are bad people(because their not) just that it is ignorant of you to say that no homosexual has ever hurt anybody because their homosexual.

I said homosexuality in and of itself. Meaning that homosexuality itself means nothing other than attraction. Context is important, and without context, something like homosexuality means little other than an attribute of ones character, like a preference towards a certain colour or genre. Harmless by itself, but it can potentially have consequences for those who are homosexual (see centuries of prosecution and execution) and the actions of those who are (Like rape, for example).

Xanthious:

Varya:

Tanakh:
I am not particulary trilled by a gay shepard, my problem is that it feels like retconning.

Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner. RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

Well if we accomodatd your Shepard then what about the people that want to be able to bugger livestock with their Shepard? Are they not as important as the gay crowd? What about the people out there that want a pedo Shepard? Do we accommodate them too and maybe throw a couple little boys on the ship? These are all just options after all.

One: Gays are a fairly significant percentage of the population. Two: Those things you mentioned are ILLEGAL.

Volf:

Thyunda:

Volf:
yeah its completely a "hissy fit" if you are uncomfortable doing something that isn't part of your sexuality. /sarcasm

Except he's not doing something. A virtual man that looks like him is doing that something.

He still has a right to decide how he is depicted, people don't have to agree with his choice, but they should respect it.

It's not him, though. It's Shepard.

Tanakh:

Rainboq:
XD That sounds like an epic night.

Was last new year's eve. We tried some dark/goth straight clubs before... but they were empty, i guess straight guys are with the family and gay guys partying! And the nice thing about going to gay joints being straight is that you can just dance and do whatever you fucking want without eyeballing anyone, even better if you take a female friend.

Good point, unless you happen to be bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual.

Xanthious:
Well if we accomodatd your Shepard then what about the people that want to be able to bugger livestock with their Shepard? Are they not as important as the gay crowd? What about the people out there that want a pedo Shepard? Do we accommodate them too and maybe throw a couple little boys on the ship? These are all just options after all.

Loli shepard! Now you are talking!

Disclaimer: The avobe coment should be seen a as a joke. Due random reasons the youngest girl I have steadily dated was 22... i was 16 >.<
Then again i am currently living sides a bigass highschool... and god damn.

Rainboq:
I said homosexuality in and of itself. Meaning that homosexuality itself means nothing other than attraction. Context is important, and without context, something like homosexuality means little other than an attribute of ones character, like a preference towards a certain colour or genre. Harmless by itself, but it can potentially have consequences for those who are homosexual (see centuries of prosecution and execution) and the actions of those who are (Like rape, for example).

Your arguing over symantics now.

Thyunda:

Volf:

Thyunda:

Except he's not doing something. A virtual man that looks like him is doing that something.

He still has a right to decide how he is depicted, people don't have to agree with his choice, but they should respect it.

It's not him, though. It's Shepard.

It's still his image, and he should have final say over that. Actually if Bioware really want this option in the first game, why not just get a model that was ok with it?

Really needed a 7-minute clip of this to make your point?

Missing the soul of wit. The joke was obvious already just from the title; this was excessive.

does this video have ANY spoilers regard ME3? I want to watch buuutt

Rainboq:
Good point, unless you happen to be bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual.

Yeah, well, it's something that i know i should do, like going to the dentist, fighting in a bar and jumping off a plane. And while there has been here and there (throught the years) offers of both casual gay sex and casual straight sex i have only taken the latter.

I know man on man would be a new experience, i know i love trying new experiences, but doing a guy or getting done by one is hasn't been attractive so far. Maybe someday I'll meet a gay/bi guy who will change my mind... but starting to doubt it.

Vault101:
does this video have ANY spoilers regard ME3? I want to watch buuutt

No. Damn... will get low content?

Shjade:
Really needed a 7-minute clip of this to make your point?

Also will have to agree with this, intended to skip parts, but my player was bugged and couldnt jump from poin to point.

Volf:
Your arguing over symantics now.

No, he is saying gay assholes don't do fucked up shit due being gays, but due being assholes, same as straight assholes don't ruffie girls due being straight.

Volf:
It's not him, though. It's Shepard.

It's still his image, and he should have final say over that. Actually if Bioware really want this option in the first game, why not just get a model that was ok with it?[/quote]And he has it, no one is going to pound your straight Shep ass if you don't want it to happen. As for modding the previous games? Because they are cheap, if they modded all the games before to include a gay shep from the beggining i wouldn't mind the retcon so much.

Rainboq:

Xanthious:

Varya:

Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner. RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

Well if we accomodatd your Shepard then what about the people that want to be able to bugger livestock with their Shepard? Are they not as important as the gay crowd? What about the people out there that want a pedo Shepard? Do we accommodate them too and maybe throw a couple little boys on the ship? These are all just options after all.

One: Gays are a fairly significant percentage of the population. Two: Those things you mentioned are ILLEGAL.

Foot fetishists are fairly common too, do we need a foot sex scene?

Tanakh:

Volf:
Your arguing over symantics now.

No, he is saying gay assholes don't do fucked up shit due being gays, but due being assholes, same as straight assholes don't ruffie girls due being straight.

He used the word homosexuality, which could be a reference to homosexuals, which is why I called bs. To go back and say, "what I meant was..." is just arguing over symantics.

Volf:

Rainboq:
That's rape, not homosexuality. Homosexuality is simply being attracted to another of the same sex, how one acts based on that has nothing to do with homosexuality itself, but rather the individuals past experiences.

And why not, what's wrong with a phallus?

You made a sweeping generalization that homosexuality has never hurt anybody, I called bs because it has(i.e. people have committed crimes because of it). Now I'm not saying that all homosexuals are bad people(because their not) just that it is ignorant of you to say that no homosexual has ever hurt anybody because their homosexual.

actually isnt most prison rape less about "homosexualisty" and more about well..I dont know dominance and such,,liek they probably wouldnt be gay outside of prison...

anyway Im still not seeing the issue here...you could play ME3 WITHOUT any homosexual activity what so ever

and say if a gay charachter does hit on your shepard..it will prbably be a few seconds of dialouge and nothign else..

also the only reasonm femshep can be "gay" is because they had Liara and couldnt "go back" on how assari are suposed to be..I don know why they cut the romance with ashly but kept the one with liara..but they cut the gay relationship with ash for the same reason they did kaiden...I guessing to e PC or somthing

plus do you have a problem with with femshep "technically" being able to be bi?

Volf:

Thyunda:

Volf:
He still has a right to decide how he is depicted, people don't have to agree with his choice, but they should respect it.

It's not him, though. It's Shepard.

It's still his image, and he should have final say over that. Actually if Bioware really want this option in the first game, why not just get a model that was ok with it?

Then identical twins should control what the other appears in.
You really don't think it's a bit petty to be upset that a virtual man who merely LOOKS like you happens to possibly have a taste for cock?

secretsantaone:
Foot fetishists are fairly common too, do we need a foot sex scene?

Damn it! Stop with the fetish suggestions or you will get me banned from this forums!

Also for me is like having a vegetarian dish in the menu, I will probably skip it because buying veggies in a fine restaurant is for suckers, but always nice to see it.

Volf:
It's not him, though. It's Shepard.

It's still his image, and he should have final say over that. Actually if Bioware really want this option in the first game, why not just get a model that was ok with it?[/quote]And he has it, no one is going to pound your straight Shep ass if you don't want it to happen. As for modding the previous games? Because they are cheap, if they modded all the games before to include a gay shep from the beggining i wouldn't mind the retcon so much.[/quote]They made it sound like the guy was overreacting for having his digital image being portrait in a gay way, I responded that the model isn't overreacting for having those feelings and that they should be respected.

And once again, Jim solves a problem that didn't exist until he brought it up. I get that this is some kind of satire aimed at people crying foul at Mass Effect 3's gay romance options, accusing Mass Effect 3 of....What? See, here's the problem: I don't think anyone who matters actually has a problem with the gayness in Mass Effect 3. I think that anyone who DOES is so insignificant, and clearly ignorant, that dignifying their outcry with a response (like this one) will be waste of time, most of all the normal people who didn't even know there was a "controversy" (Like, apparently, most of the Escapist) in the first place.

Syntax Man:
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, lemme get this straight, Jim and Yahtzee can cus like sailors and the thing is fine with that, but an the mere mention of homosexuality it age gates the fucking thing?

Real mature, seems that this world still has a long way to go.

As for the actual episode...what the flying fuck was that?

Yeah, I know you've been quoted a million times, but you kinda have it coming so I'll add this to the pile.

The homosexuality is CLEARLY not what prompted the age gate, as plenty of other series have featured similar overtones in their videos. It was obviously the degree of "erotica" that was responsible, not the orientation. Maybe next time you should take off the 'ol cynicism-goggles and actually think about what you're saying before you post it.

Rainboq:

Xanthious:

Varya:

Realizing I'm cutting your whole rant just to bash on this one staement but I have to. This is a BS argument for several reasons.
1. A lot of people will START at ME3, and a game should, while taking it's legacy in account, try and be a stand alone work. Anyone starting at 3 have no history to "betray" by playing GayShep
2. You can play ME1 and 2 with the intention of being GayShep, but not finding a suitable partner.
RPG options 4 the win.
3. People come out as gay in every period of their lives. He could have been in the closet or just bi-sexual untill now. Again, roleplay.
4 I can play as the SAME Sheppard but with different faces and different personality in all three games. They let me fuck up my own history if I want to, why on earth would that freedome not be extended to sexuality.
5 it's a friggin OPTION! If it messes with YOUR Sheppard, he can be as straight as you want to. I wanna give it to Garrus up the arse, why would you care if I do that?

Well if we accomodatd your Shepard then what about the people that want to be able to bugger livestock with their Shepard? Are they not as important as the gay crowd? What about the people out there that want a pedo Shepard? Do we accommodate them too and maybe throw a couple little boys on the ship? These are all just options after all.

One: Gays are a fairly significant percentage of the population. Two: Those things you mentioned are ILLEGAL.

Hey those are just options. They wouldn't affect your Shepard. You dont like em don't use em. As for being illega, well we illegal things in games all the time so I fail to see how that's relevant. What you and those like you are really saying though isn't let's be open minded and accommodate all sorts of different people but rather simply just to accommodate you and those like you while everyone else can piss off.

Vault101:
anyway Im still not seeing the issue here...you could play ME3 WITHOUT any homosexual activity what so ever

and say if a gay charachter does hit on your shepard..it will prbably be a few seconds of dialouge and nothign else..

Actually it bothered me a little that Anders was so straightforward in DA:2... but i recognize that is because my and my toon bias. Still, i was VERY carefull not to make Anders happy.

Thyunda:

Volf:

Thyunda:

It's not him, though. It's Shepard.

It's still his image, and he should have final say over that. Actually if Bioware really want this option in the first game, why not just get a model that was ok with it?

Then identical twins should control what the other appears in.
You really don't think it's a bit petty to be upset that a virtual man who merely LOOKS like you happens to possibly have a taste for cock?

No I don't think its wrong for a person to have human feelings about how their digital image is being depicted.

Its just like if (hypothetically) the model Jacqui Ainsley didn't like being portrait as a women willing to use her body, I wouldn't try to minimize her feelings.

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