Jimquisition: Mass Effect 3: A Gay Erotic Love Story

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xPixelatedx:

Saulkar:
Fan-Fucking-Tastic! But alas, sadly I lack a gay boner, even in the radiance of our God given Jim Sterling.

On the topic of gay Mass Effect fan works, search for the following artists if you are in the mood to fuck up your mind.

Chillchell
Narse
Norah_Enilem
Beralin
Consensus
Raynorium
Todex
And TaoRen...

Ah fuck it, go to paheal and kill every last brain cell you have, yah bunch of wankers.

You are quite versed in alien sex, I am truly frightened and fascinated.

I will take that as a complement my good monocular, spinning black vortex of evil.

NikolaiK:
.... Thank Jim for Jim
That was truly beautiful. It is now my mission in life to get the phrase 'suckling on each other like piglets at feeding time' into my everyday conversation. Also, i'm not sure many of you will get this, but Jim really reminds me of Garth Marenghi in this video.

You're right he really does! I haven't seen that show in ages, cheers for reminding me about it. I'll have to watch it again later.

Amazing video Jim, I still can't stop laughing at "What a dainty dish to set before the king. What a dainty dish of gay."

I loved this on Destructoid and you reading it made it so much funnier. I can't wait to hear you talk about writing this on Podtoid. Thank God for Jim and all that.

Tanakh:

Xanthious:
Hey those are just options. They wouldn't affect your Shepard. You dont like em don't use em. As for being illega, well we illegal things in games all the time so I fail to see how that's relevant. What you and those like you are really saying though isn't let's be open minded and accommodate all sorts of different people but rather simply just to accommodate you and those like you while everyone else can piss off.

Well, if you fail to see the difference between consensual sex between two dudes and an adult having sex with a minor, i don't think we can do anything for you mate.

Who said anything about two dudes or an adult and a minor? I'm talking about video games. I'm talking about zeros and ones and coding and the like. Real world consequences and/or morals have rarely ever figured into what is right or wrong to portray in video games.

I mean if that were the case I wouldn't have bought a hooker in a game before. After paying the hooker and letter her out of my car running said hooker over multiple times only to get out, shoot her in the head and take my money back. I wouldn't have slaughtered entire villages of innocent men women and children with sword and fire just so I could go through their meager belongings for things I could sell.

These are all things I've done in a game that would have probably rightly earned me a lifetime of imprisonment or an execution in the real world. So you can see that what's right or wrong in the real world plays no matter in games.

That being said all I want is for my Shepard to have the same options as your Shepard does to have a romance with whoever or whatever he wants to. As has already been said in defense of having gay romances this wouldn't affect your Shepard so why should you care how I want to play mine?

It seems hypocritical that the same people that are out here championing the gay romances are so quick to denounce the romance options that others may want. Whatever happened to "it's only an option, you don't have to make use of it"?

Vault101:

Volf:

Thyunda:

No, no, destruction of narrative potential is objectively wrong. That's not an opinion, that's fact, that.

Being forced to do something that you find uncomfortable is also wrong.

.

BUT...YOU....WONT....BE....

at all

I'm not referring to the option to be gay in the game, I'm referring to the model not being comfortable having his image being displayed in a gay way, or gay activities.

That was funny as hell! About 5 minutes of pure laughter, thank you Jim, for Jim.

Also, a good point made I thought.

Volf:

Vault101:

Volf:
Being forced to do something that you find uncomfortable is also wrong.

.

BUT...YOU....WONT....BE....

at all

I'm not referring to the option to be gay in the game, I'm referring to the model not being comfortable having his image being displayed in a gay way, or gay activities.

you mean the mo-cap model?

well they could jsut get somone who is...its not like mo-capping is all the racognisable

Good video, excellent point. Satirical Slash may be the next big thing...

Vault101:

Volf:

Vault101:

BUT...YOU....WONT....BE....

at all

I'm not referring to the option to be gay in the game, I'm referring to the model not being comfortable having his image being displayed in a gay way, or gay activities.

you mean the mo-cap model?

well they could jsut get somone who is...its not like mo-capping is all the racognisable

yeah, sorry I wasn't more clear, I was referring to the model not liking it, not me not liking the option.

But its his face, why should he not be aloud to decide what they do with his face?

Therumancer:
-snip-

For it being bad gay porn... wouldn't know, my experience there is limited to damn internet trapz! God, i hate those.

For the demographics, being a lot doesn't mean a freaking thing. Polish jews were 10% of the pop pre WWII and they were STABBITYSTABBBQed (no disrispect meant to jews) and being gay seems easier to hide than being jew, hispanic people are the second minority at USA with 16% (after only whites) and they earn less, end up on the jail more, police can detain you for looking like one in some states and the candidates say stuff like spanish is the language of the ghetto. After a quick google i think male gays are around 2%-3% right now on USA, maybe even 4% and it is easily proven that they are at least 1% in the UK (but then again english dudes... well, you know), much lower than 30% and much higher than 0.1%; why the fuck it is 23% in my math faculty is certanly an interesting question that honeslty i am too lazy to explore, and that i like actually (anything that increases the availabe females can't be that bad right?).

And yeah, gay is not the common sexual orientation and it is due chems in your noggle (like anything else), medical condition? Nop, not a disiease or a disorder, same as being native american or NBA worthy tall, it's not common but not a condition. For gay and lesbians being different... well, i don't know, only have one lesbian friend, and i am deeply ignorant about the lesbian world (outside porn, naturally, but i don't the footage i have seen is realistic). It would seem rape as a child is more common as a detonator to being gay than to being lesbian, but honestly i couldn't say it for sure.

For the etitlement part, i disagree. Just for this example lets say that 2% of the men are gay and that 20% of the men have a foot fetish and also are straight (discovery says it's the most common, among that list i would go with leather... but also not that big on that), so, just by those numbers we should indeed have some good foot on penis action (or however that works), the thing is that the cutscene is not that long and not the focus, and it depicts you and whatever hot alien chick you choose starting the intercourse, you can imagine whatever after that, so it "covers" feet if you want; if you are gay there was no choice, you either played a fem shep and imagine it being a tranny or just skip the meals alltogether. Gay-Straight-Lesb seems just a efficient way to cover all "basic" bases and leave the spicing up to the player, maybe there are not enough gay and lesb to warrant that, but seems like basic civility, just like maybe black players are not enough to warrant a black shep but I am glad there is one.

As for the Giraffe part... i think you are a genious! Send this to Bioware, i will pay for that DLC.

I think he wants to apply at Bioware for the job of Lead Writer, he certainly has the right mindset and skills required xD

Volf:

Vault101:

Volf:

I'm not referring to the option to be gay in the game, I'm referring to the model not being comfortable having his image being displayed in a gay way, or gay activities.

you mean the mo-cap model?

well they could jsut get somone who is...its not like mo-capping is all the racognisable

yeah, sorry I wasn't more clear, I was referring to the model not liking it, not me not liking the option.

But its his face, why should he not be aloud to decide what they do with his face?

Aloud? You mean allowed. Gr-r-rammah Nazi strikes again!

OT: I agree, if he signed a full release contract I would feel sorry for him but that is his own fault, but if they outlined specifically what they would do with his visage and having homoerotic depictions of a character with said visage was not outlined in said contract then I would support the guys choice to oppose it.

8 minutes of shock laughs and trying to keep my gag reflex under control for a point that goes without saying? Thanks, Jim...

Volf:

Vault101:

Volf:

I'm not referring to the option to be gay in the game, I'm referring to the model not being comfortable having his image being displayed in a gay way, or gay activities.

you mean the mo-cap model?

well they could jsut get somone who is...its not like mo-capping is all the racognisable

yeah, sorry I wasn't more clear, I was referring to the model not liking it, not me not liking the option.

But its his face, why should he not be aloud to decide what they do with his face?

theres only a "chance" that it will be his face (did we all fo a sudden forget that shpard has options?)

hell...its not the same as actually "acting" in real life as a gay person..it just seems like a non-issue, why would he care?

We should ban this video less the hot gay action corrupt the youth visiting the sight! Won't someone please think of the children!

LOL!

Seriously though, this is why you play games with a female avatar, so if the game turns gay its hot lesbian action which will only serve to reinforce your sexuality.

Vault101:

Volf:

Vault101:

you mean the mo-cap model?

well they could jsut get somone who is...its not like mo-capping is all the racognisable

yeah, sorry I wasn't more clear, I was referring to the model not liking it, not me not liking the option.

But its his face, why should he not be aloud to decide what they do with his face?

theres only a "chance" that it will be his face (did we all fo a sudden forget that shpard has options?)

hell...its not the same as actually "acting" in real life as a gay person..it just seems like a non-issue, why would he care?

Idk go ask him yourself, lol.

That awkward moment when your parents catch you listening to a gay fanfic...

Now, considering that somehow,Jim has made a description of a wank more gross than the actual act itself, I think I can say that this has changed me from not understanding homoeroticism to actively thinking it's nauseating.

Essentially, I'm less gay after listening to this homoerotica.

Take that how you will.

secretsantaone:
Would the Day 1 dlc have been in the main game if Bioware didn't feel they had to put a gay romance in?

No, because the intent to have a collector's edition bonus was there from before the game was completed. I can't believe people are even suggesting that.

Xanthious:
-snip-

Well, you compared your toon in a game being gay with him being a pedophile, didn't you? let me see... ohh, way to edit your post. Gratz.

I made it trough 2 Dragon Age games without catching the Gay (although, that Alistair was rather charming...) so I think I can handle ME3.

Actually, surprised by how many prudes there are in current generation of gamers.

Well...
That was certainly interesting.
Can you do Femshep/Tali now?

Vault101:
hell...its not the same as actually "acting" in real life as a gay person..it just seems like a non-issue, why would he care?

To be fair, did you see how far the two male leads from Brokeback went in terms of trying to assure the world they weren't really gay?

Hell, even Ian McKellan, who is openly gay, has previously discussed how it's kind of the kiss of death in Hollywood.

Is it in voice acting? No idea, but I wouldn't be shocked. For a business supposedly loaded with homosexuals, there's a lot of people calling "NO HOMO" a lot.

How many takes did that take? Bravo for doing it all in one shot!

Zachary Amaranth:

secretsantaone:
Would the Day 1 dlc have been in the main game if Bioware didn't feel they had to put a gay romance in?

No, because the intent to have a collector's edition bonus was there from before the game was completed. I can't believe people are even suggesting that.

Well would that have been in and some other DLC be released at launch instead?

Volf:

Rainboq:
That's rape, not homosexuality. Homosexuality is simply being attracted to another of the same sex, how one acts based on that has nothing to do with homosexuality itself, but rather the individuals past experiences.

And why not, what's wrong with a phallus?

You made a sweeping generalization that homosexuality has never hurt anybody, I called bs because it has(i.e. people have committed crimes because of it). Now I'm not saying that all homosexuals are bad people(because their not) just that it is ignorant of you to say that no homosexual has ever hurt anybody because their homosexual.

I hope you understand that sexual crimes are largely committed by straight people.

Not because straight people are more likely to be deviants, but because the percentage of straight is larger than gay, where I'm willing to wager the percentage of sex criminals is probably roughly similar.

Arkynomicon:
I made it trough 2 Dragon Age games without catching the Gay (although, that Alistair was rather charming...) so I think I can handle ME3.

Actually, surprised by how many prudes there are in current generation of gamers.

That's how they get you!

Sure, DAO and DA2 seemed harmless enough. That was to get you to let your guard down. ME3 is where they're going to drop the other shoe!

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!

I was winged by ME fever, so I ended up bisexual. You might not last!

Xanthious:

Rainboq:

Xanthious:

Well if we accomodatd your Shepard then what about the people that want to be able to bugger livestock with their Shepard? Are they not as important as the gay crowd? What about the people out there that want a pedo Shepard? Do we accommodate them too and maybe throw a couple little boys on the ship? These are all just options after all.

One: Gays are a fairly significant percentage of the population. Two: Those things you mentioned are ILLEGAL.

Hey those are just options. They wouldn't affect your Shepard. You dont like em don't use em. As for being illega, well we illegal things in games all the time so I fail to see how that's relevant. What you and those like you are really saying though isn't let's be open minded and accommodate all sorts of different people but rather simply just to accommodate you and those like you while everyone else can piss off.

Homosexuality is not the same as pedophilia and bestiality due to their non-consensual nature. Your point is moot. Morally it's similar to the reason we can't officially kill children or torture animals in games.

secretsantaone:

Well would that have been in and some other DLC be released at launch instead?

And we're getting further down the rabbit hole.

Does Occam's Razor mean anything to you?

Fappy:
How many takes did that take? Bravo for doing it all in one shot!

It was easy. Homosexuality in video games is serious business.

Volf:
You made a sweeping generalization that homosexuality has never hurt anybody, I called bs because it has(i.e. people have committed crimes because of it). Now I'm not saying that all homosexuals are bad people(because their not) just that it is ignorant of you to say that no homosexual has ever hurt anybody because their homosexual.

Can you name one instance where being homosexual has directly caused the homosexual in question to commit a crime?

Tanakh:

Xanthious:
-snip-

Well, you compared your toon in a game being gay with him being a pedophile, didn't you? let me see... ohh, way to edit your post. Gratz.

The only thing I've been arguing is that my Shepard should get the same rights yours does. And if special occomodations are being made forone alternate lifestyle then occomodations should be made for other alternate lifestyles. If you want your Shepard to bone dudes and I want mine to bone goats why can't both of us be occomodated?

As for editing my posts. Fella Im writing these from a touch screen phone with a shitty on screen keyboard. Editing for content is not a luxury I enjoy.

That was disgusting, disturbing, and totally inappropriate.

*clicks replay*

Zachary Amaranth:

Arkynomicon:
I made it trough 2 Dragon Age games without catching the Gay (although, that Alistair was rather charming...) so I think I can handle ME3.

Actually, surprised by how many prudes there are in current generation of gamers.

That's how they get you!

Sure, DAO and DA2 seemed harmless enough. That was to get you to let your guard down. ME3 is where they're going to drop the other shoe!

GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!

I was winged by ME fever, so I ended up bisexual. You might not last!

Eh, I'm not afraid. I think I can handle this.

Come to think of it. Zevran was rather charming as well.

jovack22:

Volf:

Rainboq:
That's rape, not homosexuality. Homosexuality is simply being attracted to another of the same sex, how one acts based on that has nothing to do with homosexuality itself, but rather the individuals past experiences.

And why not, what's wrong with a phallus?

You made a sweeping generalization that homosexuality has never hurt anybody, I called bs because it has(i.e. people have committed crimes because of it). Now I'm not saying that all homosexuals are bad people(because their not) just that it is ignorant of you to say that no homosexual has ever hurt anybody because their homosexual.

I hope you understand that sexual crimes are largely committed by straight people.

Not because straight people are more likely to be deviants, but because the percentage of straight is larger than gay, where I'm willing to wager the percentage of sex criminals is probably roughly similar.

I do realize that, which is why I would never say that heterosexuality has never harmed anybody, because obviously it has. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I'm saying that heterosexuality/homosexuality=sexual crimes, it just means that a persons sexual desire/lust/preference has hurt a few people.

Syntax Man:
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, lemme get this straight, Jim and Yahtzee can cus like sailors and the thing is fine with that, but an the mere mention of homosexuality it age gates the fucking thing?

Real mature, seems that this world still has a long way to go.

I think it was more that slash erotica that the entire video consisted of, more than the fact that it was gay. It was pretty obscene, after all.

OT: Making your point sarcastically as always, Jim, well done.

Xanthious:

Tanakh:

Xanthious:
-snip-

Well, you compared your toon in a game being gay with him being a pedophile, didn't you? let me see... ohh, way to edit your post. Gratz.

The only thing I've been arguing is that my Shepard should get the same rights yours does. And if special occomodations are being made forone alternate lifestyle then occomodations should be made for other alternate lifestyles. If you want your Shepard to bone dudes and I want mine to bone goats why can't both of us be occomodated?

As for editing my posts. Fella Im writing these from a touch screen phone with a shitty on screen keyboard. Editing for content is not a luxury I enjoy.

You are being totally unreasonable about your comparison. It's like me saying 'bananas are like planets'. Homosexuality and bestiality are completely different things and are unrelated in any possible way due to their consensual and non consensual nature...

Syntax Man:
Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo, lemme get this straight, Jim and Yahtzee can cus like sailors and the thing is fine with that, but an the mere mention of homosexuality it age gates the fucking thing?

Real mature, seems that this world still has a long way to go.

As for the actual episode...what the flying fuck was that?

Lol, try acting like Yahtzee or Jim in the forums, I reckon a user would last about a day before they got suspended.

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