Zero Punctuation: Mass Effect 3

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Qitz:
ZP and Mass Effect 3? Well, Escapist, say good by to your servers because this will cause some trouble.

Doomsday 2012 comes early to the Escapist...

RedFeather1975:

marscentral:
I missed the Mako. Once you got the hang of it's counter-intuitive controls, it was a laugh. I liked the pioneer feeling of being on a world that was nearly empty or even never visited by humans before.

I liked the Mako too. Especially when riding on the moon.
I remember thinking "I'm driving on the mooooon!"
It was awesome.

I think if they fixed up the combat and maybe had a system of weapons and armor like ME3, Mass Effect 1 could have been GotY for the year it came out, and for the next three years fallowing.

I'm pissed with the ending because it gives no closure to anyone you meet other than Shepard, Yahtzee. That's it. Everything up to the last conversation with Admiral Keith David I have absolutely no problems with.

Ha! He admits it. He actually liked the driving sections in ME1!!

Ah, I was waiting for this. I needed this laugh about ME3.

Captcha: Face the music.
o_O
I feel like captcha has been reading my mind lately.

mjc0961:
I liked the Mako too! In fact, to this day, I still can't understand what everyone was whining about. It's not any harder to control than any other vehicle in any other game that doesn't have a huge emphasis on driving. And there was only one planet where the terrain was so messed up that it was a pain to actually drive the Mako to where you needed to go, and that's not really the Mako's fault.

I too liked it, when I was saving salarian scientists from cerberus(or geth or whatever it was back then) it actually felt like I was there saving them I also really didn't mind collecting resources, it was step down but at least it was something.

I never had trouble controlling it, in fact after I had played through the first couple times I would actively try to flip the mako on planets (only succeeded twice) by going down a steep hill and hitting my rocket boosters

Nope, they took it away again. Really BioWare? Really? And the excuse is that it was away being retrofitted to get more armor and probably got blown up in the Reaper attack? Okay, fine, but surely you could have had us pick up a different vehicle somewhere. Instead we get this annoying scan from the Normandy where you push the left trigger one time and before you even have a chance to push it a second time, a million Reapers spawn to try and rape you. Lovely.

ehh, I can't really fault bioware for not including a vehicle section. Maybe they actually are listening to people because more often than not I hear complaints about vehicle sections and Quick time events.

and at least there is only one quick time event I've seen in combat.

Oh yeah, and I can't forget about how you HAVE to play the awful, terrible, dreadful, shitty multiplayer if you want the super best ending which contains an extra 9 second cutscene! Hurray! And that the MP doesn't let you purchase the upgrades you want, but instead makes you buy these stupid packs that give you things randomly and gives you tons of junk you don't need. Then they have the nerve to ask for REAL MONEY to buy these stupid things, so in your desperation to get something good so you won't have to take on Banshees with a water pistol anymore, you can spend real money to get lots of packs very quickly and still get no useful upgrades.

This doesn't really affect me since I really really enjoy the multiplayer, it gives a nice survival mode that can be fairly simple or incredibly difficult. It really helps that my little brother and a bunch of my friends are into the multiplayer though, killing brutes and banshee's are a lot more fun with your friends around.

I also think the packs need to be randomized, if not I would have already maxed out my black widow sniper with all the mods and would be 3-shotting brutes on silver. the drop system is only in place to keep people playing.

The 'need' to play multiplayer is where I think a lot of the hate is coming from. multiplayer isn't for everybody (especially those without live Gold) and would have bugged me if I had run out of time for xbox live.

RedFeather1975:
No mention of Marauder Shields?!
:(

Marauder Shields is easily the worst meme ever conceived. I'd rather hear about how Mass Effect 3 had a good ending but then it took an arrow to the knee than hear any more crap about "Marauder Shields".

Am I missing something? I have never noticed anything strange about marauder shields, although I usually play multiplayer and my black widow will take down most of them with 2 shots.

Edit: Ah, just looked it up. I thought it would have been something entertaining

Dastardly:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Mass Effect 3

This week, Zero Punctuation review Mass Effect 3.

Watch Video

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the next-to-last sequence, since it kind of rides that line between "taking control away" and "putting meaningful limitations on control."

You didn't find it illogical that he not only survived, but managed to walk and talk just fine after being hit by a stream of molten metal traveling at a fraction of the speed of light? Same stream of molten metal that can pierce through a dreadnought and obliterate 3 ships in one blow?

The only reassion he did not hate the ending was because he did not do all the side mission. How Bioware made the game sound. It would change and evolve based on your actions. Kinda like Crono triggers. The missions failing as a nice touch. Which game look like it was heading that way. Sadly no matter what your actions where the game was still on it semi rail shooter action. Everything good about the game was just thrown in the nearst air lock and fired out into deep space including Shepard.

The controlls where just plan garbage. The new stuff like turn around cover, flips and rolling from cover to cover was a good idea. It just did not work so well. Not to forget how the enemy AI got a massive buff while your allie got nerfed. I was shocked how my squad mates would ether charge forward and give a turret a hug. Run up and eat a gernade or just run away into the room we just left. Leaving me standind alone to fight all the enemies.

I am sure alot of people where expecting the game to go back to old school story writing bioware been know for. Just like in the good old days when the made good game like Baldur's gate 1 and 2. Sadly ever sence they sold out to EA. Their quality has started to slide down a rocky mountain super fast.

I not sure what game is worse DA2 or ME3. Even ToR was just WoW with lightsabers.

I hope more poeple decide not to buy another bioware game. I know I will never buy anything with a bioware logo on it.

lord.jeff:
I say all trilogy bashing is proven wrong simply by mentioning Toy Story, but outside of that if it's really so near impossibly hard to keep up a series past the first story, how do you explain TV shows, comics, and books then?

Lord of the Rings. The second film was the worst, first the best overall, and the third was the most emotional.

LoL good one although I'm left stumped on how it could of been worse? I suppose instead of a poor Deus EX ending it could a poor Kane & Lynch ending although that still might have been better..

Haha, loved the loofah in the shower bit. I've not played ME3 and don't plan to, but I'm glad he didn't go insane over the ending. He seemed to enjoy it anyway, which is more than most games he reviews, haha.

Zhukov:
I wonder if this will be the first time on ZP that nobody tries to defend the game...

I get the feeling there isn't going to be a lot of lost love over this myself...though frankly I'm surprised he didn't go into the ending more, he went completely batshit about samus being girled up in Other M. Seriously he has this bit juicy target and he just prattles on about cover based shooting and the silly but acceptable story sections.

Zaul2010:
Sounds like hes got a cold again.

Yeah, the whole time he was talking. I wanted to sniffle my nose to clear it. It was frustrating. And took the sarcasm out of his voice.

Wow, Yahtzee didn't hate the ending, but that does make sense. The ending pretty much said, "And then Shepherd saved the whole Galaxy from the Reaper threat, by destroying the whole galaxy." An ending in which everyone dies, sounds like Yahtzee...

boag:

L34dP1LL:
Well I'm surprised about the fact that he didn't mention that not playing MP directly affects you in SP.

It doesnt, you get the same shitty endings if you play MP or not.

*SPOILERS*

But you don't get to see the gasp of air just before the credits.

Really, calling us "fanboys" now for criticizing the ending narrative? While I've got nothing against the term itself, it's a shame it's being used as a derogative so much these days. We're probably lucky you didn't write it with an "i" like the vastly superior people like to do nowadays.

Nice to see I'm not the only one who likes the Mako tho. Started a new Shepard recently and having a great time bouncing around the space mountains.

The image of Shepard just sitting there legs crossed and on the table, flinging snot at Traynor is fucking hilarious. One of the funnier things I've seen/heard this week. As for the ending, I didn't even notice that there wasn't any closure. I guess I'm just easily pleased. Now that I think about it though, it was pretty shitty to just leave everything hanging like that, but I digress. Good review Yahtzee.

mjc0961:
I liked the Mako too! In fact, to this day, I still can't understand what everyone was whining about. It's not any harder to control than any other vehicle in any other game that doesn't have a huge emphasis on driving. And there was only one planet where the terrain was so messed up that it was a pain to actually drive the Mako to where you needed to go, and that's not really the Mako's fault.

And then they took it away in the second game and just shuttled you everywhere. Boo! And when people complained, they gave us the Hammerhead. That thing was ass, but at least it was something. At least we'll get to use it more in Mass Effect 3 and have more actual planet exploring sections like the first game, right?

Nope, they took it away again. Really BioWare? Really? And the excuse is that it was away being retrofitted to get more armor and probably got blown up in the Reaper attack? Okay, fine, but surely you could have had us pick up a different vehicle somewhere. Instead we get this annoying scan from the Normandy where you push the left trigger one time and before you even have a chance to push it a second time, a million Reapers spawn to try and rape you. Lovely.

Oh, and then they tease you at the final mission by having tons of Makos everywhere. I want to drive one, why won't you let me drive one game?!

Oh yeah, and I can't forget about how you HAVE to play the awful, terrible, dreadful, shitty multiplayer if you want the super best ending which contains an extra 9 second cutscene! Hurray! And that the MP doesn't let you purchase the upgrades you want, but instead makes you buy these stupid packs that give you things randomly and gives you tons of junk you don't need. Then they have the nerve to ask for REAL MONEY to buy these stupid things, so in your desperation to get something good so you won't have to take on Banshees with a water pistol anymore, you can spend real money to get lots of packs very quickly and still get no useful upgrades. I blame EA for this one, as this reeks of their money grubbing. And this is why Valve doesn't want your games on Steam like this EA, and I for one fully support Valve on this. It's nonsense. Stop trying to milk us dry wherever you can. Any good multiplayer would let you spend your in-game credits to buy the upgrades you need for your class, but you forced Mass Effect 3's MP to be even shittier just so you can get people to spend more real money. How do people actually think that EA aren't the Satan of the game's industry anymore? Those people must be blind.

By this point it probably sounds like I hate this game. Not really. I really like it for the most part. I just needed to rant about a few things.

RedFeather1975:
No mention of Marauder Shields?!
:(

Marauder Shields is easily the worst meme ever conceived. I'd rather hear about how Mass Effect 3 had a good ending but then it took an arrow to the knee than hear any more crap about "Marauder Shields".

teh_Canape:
not really, the multiplayer is just an "alternative"
the war assets room has two meters exactly for that
war assets that you collect in the game and galactic readiness for your multiplayer stats basically do the same
so yeah, it's not necessary to play the MP, but it helps

And this is a post from someone who either hasn't played the game and doesn't actually know what they're talking about, or doesn't understand that leaving your galactic readiness at 50% halves your military strength which blocks you out from having enough EMS to get the "best" ending. Unless maybe the Day 1 DLC adds enough assets to get it up there regardless, but with no DLC, you NEED to play some multiplayer (or use one of those iThing apps) to get your readiness higher than 50% so your EMS goes higher.

i played no MP, got over 6500 EMS, and i got the 'best' ending. what now, ignorant person? are you gonna say i cheated? are you gonna call me a person who didnt play too? the 50% multiplier is ALREADY applied to the number you see in SP. if it says you have 3000 EMS, you have 3000 EMS, the multiplier was applied when you gained points already. if you got 100 EMS from some fetch quest, it made it 50 EMS, andTHEN added it to the total you see in the war room.

I don't like the ending. I know, shocking right? Pretend like you're surprised.

Didn't buy the game myself but I watched the ending since everyone was whining about it... and the nicest thing I can say is as yahtzee said, it could be worse. BUT NOT MUCH!

The review was kinda boring compared to the other me reviews .

You had four days and you didn't have time to complete everything, including any and all side missions? This is a 30 hour game at most all told and 4 days is plenty time enough to do everything. Glad to hear you weren't too fussed either way about the ending, it really isn't as bad as many people make it out to be.

I think, and this is just personal opinion, that most reviewers (and this doesn't just apply to Mass Effect 3) don't have the same priorities to gaming as the average gamer.

The reviewer doesn't need to worry about price, while it is a primary focus for the average gamer. If a game isn't worth $60, the reviewer won't point that out because they usually didn't pay for it at all. All of the reviews for Modern Warfare 3 are like this, because it is absolutely not worth $60 for people that already have MW2 or Black Ops, seeing as it's nothing but a small expansion to MW2.

When you get a game for free, it's a helluvalot easier to just say "hey, it could have been worse you know!" than to point out how empty and dry the ending actually was, especially to those that shelled out big bucks expecting the developers to pull through.

I'm not saying that Yahtzee is necessarily in this crowd, but that's what it appears to be at its surface. Same with IGN and all the other reviewing sites that are clearly not in touch with the average gamer's priorities.

Yahtzee, you completely forget that squadmates in ME2 die not only if you don't do their Loyalty Missions, but if you pick the wrong specialist choices.

Also multiplayer bleeds into that bullshit "Military Strength" bar in singleplayer.

And the series has ended on such a horrifically terrible note that Bioware literally needs to be sued for false advertising.

I'm gravely angered that you didn't eviscerate the living fuck out of this sequel. Were you even paying attention to the batshit crazy Child/Reaper that presents you the three "choices" in the end?

Adam Jensen:

J Tyran:
Hmm I am surprised that the people who disliked this episode of ZP have not claimed that Yahtzee is indoctrinated or something.

The only way to properly dislike a ZP episode is if it isn't funny. I think we are all aware that Yahtzee's reviews are just his personal opinion on the worst aspects of the game, and most of the time people don't even agree with him. But that's not the point of his videos. His videos are entertaining regardless of differences of opinion.

Until Yatzee reviews a Nintendo game, that is.

I'm glad (though not surprised) that he didn't harp on about the ending too much. It seems like everyone and, their mom and, their Mom's new boyfriend has had nothing but horrible things to say about it since the game launched (possibly before). I'm also pleased to hear that he liked the Mako sections in the first one (which did have a rocket boost albiet, a not great one).

I'm still somewhat on the fence about ME3. Planet scanning doesn't seem as boring as it was in ME2, the demo played like ME2 with less conversation options and, I haven't heard of a patch to fix the error that means I can't be my custom Shepard from ME1 which is really the whole point of me finishing this fight.

AbstractStream:

Captcha: Face the music.
o_O
I feel like captcha has been reading my mind lately.

i think the bloody thing is self aware .......

OT:
that was far more neutral then i thought he'd be, more so the the ' yup it ended, could been worse but who cares' attitude toward the ending, XD loved it

Cid SilverWing:

And the series has ended on such a horrifically terrible note that Bioware literally needs to be sued for false advertising.

They did actually.

Wow... a lot of ME3 ending whiners in here.

And 'yes', that is technically what a Mass Effect is.

Yeah balloon analogy works, do a lot of hard work puffing it up expecting a nice bang to just someone slapping out of your hand and it just gets let out in no a boring kind of way.

And of course one part of the whole complaint is that now ME is finished and it's just going to be milking money for as long as possible after this... Not much can make you feel satisfied with a 5 years long build up, at least when it come to games...

3 days=72h and ME3 is about 30h (in with "all" side quests), witch gives you 42h of non gaming. Does this mean Yahtzee needs to sleep or something? :)

Abedeus:

Dastardly:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Mass Effect 3

This week, Zero Punctuation review Mass Effect 3.

Watch Video

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the next-to-last sequence, since it kind of rides that line between "taking control away" and "putting meaningful limitations on control."

You didn't find it illogical that he not only survived, but managed to walk and talk just fine after being hit by a stream of molten metal traveling at a fraction of the speed of light? Same stream of molten metal that can pierce through a dreadnought and obliterate 3 ships in one blow?

it was just a flesh wound.

I didn't go into Mass Effect 3 expecting amazing gameplay. I went into to get absorbed by the setting. It did its job. In till it slapped me at the end.

You know, When it comes to the Mass effect games ans Yatzhee he always struck me as saying that while he knows they're good games HE personally isn't a huge fan of them, so he deosn't really bother making a big deal if it is a "good" or "bad" game.

On another topic, I respect Yahtzee quite a lot for not bashing on the ending that much

Abedeus:

Dastardly:

Yahtzee Croshaw:
Mass Effect 3

This week, Zero Punctuation review Mass Effect 3.

Watch Video

I'd really like to hear your thoughts on the next-to-last sequence, since it kind of rides that line between "taking control away" and "putting meaningful limitations on control."

You didn't find it illogical that he not only survived, but managed to walk and talk just fine after being hit by a stream of molten metal traveling at a fraction of the speed of light? Same stream of molten metal that can pierce through a dreadnought and obliterate 3 ships in one blow?

Even if you don't believe the indoctrination thingy, it never showed him being hit head on, he was just injured by the shockwave.

Source fed tells me they may be adding a DLC ending since all the fans complained.

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