No Right Answer: Worst Videogame to Movie Adaptation Ever

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Dusk17:
Just wait until the Mass Effect movie.

Which one? There are two on the way. One is an animated film by FUNimation, the other is a live action movie adaptation of the first game from Legendary Pictures.

the real story here is IRON MAIDEN! WOOO!!!

That was awesome. I just don't know how Uve Boll escaped unscathed.

I don't think Mortal Kombat is getting enough love here.

Complaints about a storyline don't make much sense when talking about a video game that just gives a cursory back story before throwing a number of entirely fantastical characters into a punching kicking fireball game. If anything, their attempts to have a rolling back story kind of blew up in their face with MK3.

Anyway, you introduce these characters, establish their motives for being in the tournament, then have them punch, kick and fireball each other for an hour and a half. Mortal Kombat delivered exactly what the franchise was able to provide. Now, Mortal Kombat: ANNIHILATION... THAT belongs in the discussion.

Similarly, the way you described the Final Fantasy movie - the name, one guy named Cid, and a chocobo - is exactly the way you can describe every Final Fantasy game from 7 onward. Even the first six have no real story ties to each other but at least were mostly traditional fantasy titles. But where do giant sword-gun-thingies belong in Final Fantasy? Or Underwater Stupidball? See my point? Spirits Within captures perfectly the absurdly tenuous nature of the "connection" between Final Fantasy titles.

And however bad you think these other movies are (and for Raul Julia to go out on Street Fighter after a career like his is criminal), Super Mario Bros wins that debate every time by default, first for being a bad movie, and second for adapting arguably THE quintessential video game franchise.

The crowning moment of this failure was when they took a running gag about how all the people in Dinosaurland drive static-contact cars with no brakes - basically, real-live bumper cars - and are constantly stopping by crashing into a car already parked (how did the first car on the street park?). Time and again: no brakes, crash, no brakes, crash, no brakes, crash. Okay. Established. But then, release the tiny wind-up irony device Bob-Omb into the crowd, watch them flee in terror as it wanders into the street, where a passing cabbie goes wide-eyed, screams "BOB-OMB!", and... slams on his... brakes?... to avoid hitting the Bob-Omb.

I am very good at suspending disbelief (studios may call that "gullible") but if your plot hole is so big that even I can see it... you have a horrible movie.

And I think I'm going to agree with the others who call this the best ever because a). the title card running gag made me smile and b). the Kryptonian Hypersleep line actually made me laugh. So there's a left-handed compliment if ever you heard one, but well done you.

you forgot alone in the dark. two words: Uwe Boll

How dare you!

Street Fighter the Movie is one of the greatest films ever made!

Kaytastrophe:
One of if not the best episode yet. Well done guys.
Gotta throw it out there though? What about doom? With the first person perspective at the end? That was pretty cheesy.

I dont know i kinda like that one, sure its cheesy but hell there are so few alien space station movies you gotta take what you can get.

I laughed so hard when they just kept on rolling the credits, well done!
It used to be FF Spirits Within, but now it's DOA. I mean, WHOA!!!! Made me want to tear out my eyes, because that'd been slightly faster than finding the remote....

Nice Maiden shirt. Up the Irons

I'm kind of surprised that Silent Hill, Bloodrayne, and Prince of Persia weren't mentioned... oh well.

Quite possibly the funniest episode you gents have had to date. I was in legit stitches!

newwiseman:
I'm kind of surprised that Silent Hill, Bloodrayne, and Prince of Persia weren't mentioned... oh well.

Maybe because two out of those three weren't THAT bad.

I want that jacket.

No, I NEED that jacket!

Does anyone know where I could acquire one??

Thanks fellow Escapists!!!

I'm not sure I could just leave it like that. If you, for a while, forget that it's supposed to be a movie connected to the Super Mario games, it's actually not that bad. Completely unrelated to the games, but OK as a weird Science Fiction movie.

Also, I quite liked Spirits Within. While it was pretty cheesy at some points, it definitely wasn't bad. Sometimes it can be a good thing to just drop all ties to the source games.

Really good game->movie adaptations might work if their storylines just happen to take place in the same universe, maybe with some of the known characters showing up occasionally, but not getting too involved.
Pretty much like the good Star Trek games did it. Most noteably Starfleet Academy, where you had several characters (I can remember Sulu, Chekov and Kirk) as academy instructors, played by their original actors, because back then people still accepted the fact that live-action movie sequences tend to look better that computer-generated ones.

I also liked the original Street Fighter movie (the JCVD/Raul Julia one) - it was campy, but it was the GOOD kind of campy. Honestly, I'd put it in the running for best game/movie adaptation just because, unlike almost all the others, it's generally fun to watch.

As for the worst... if I had to choose one, I'd go with SF: Legend of Chun Li, just because it should have known better. You'd think that by 2009 they would have learned from the examples of other crappy game/movie adaptations, or from the previous SF movie (which at least turned a nice profit at the box office), or would have benefited from someone with rational or coherent thoughts (since it was made by an actual studio, and not Uwe Boll.) None of these things happened.

Fredvdp:

Dusk17:
Just wait until the Mass Effect movie.

Which one? There are two on the way. One is an animated film by FUNimation, the other is a live action movie adaptation of the first game from Legendary Pictures.

The live action one. The anime is supposed to be about james vega and could possibly work. I dont think they can make a movie about Shepard without pissing SOMEONE off.

I've never actually laughed all the way through a No Right Answer episode. Well done on making that dream a reality.

On the subject of the debate, the first answer was correct. Mario Brothers is the worst. Evolved dinosaurs, parallel universes, and the brothers dressed as late 80's coke dealers.

Anyone who describes the original Street Fighter as better than The Legend of Chun-Li needs to be lobotomized. At least it WAS a Street Fighter film, even if it was a bad one- they put the actual characters in the movie and made an effort to make them look like their game versions. It was camp fun in a "so bad it's good" sense. Plus, it had this:

How do you make a video like this and not once mention Uwe Boll?! HOW?!?!?!

Yeah, but the original Street Fighter was so bad it actually turned out to be pretty good. I mean, yes it was bad. But it was like Plan 9 From Outer Space bad so therefore good. Legend of Chun Li was just....bad.

I was laughing so hard every time I heard the beginning music.

Tome Raider? anyone?

I'm sorry but did everyone forget about House of the Dead?

So why? Why have they all been so comically bad? All that said, being a stoned 16-year old does make Street Fighter good for a giggle.
The problem it seems is the conflicting natures of the two respective mediums. All narrative drama is based around two or more characters interacting. How they interact is determined by their relative perspectives, personalities, and motivations. What we get out of this is the proverbial plot. Granted you may get the odd exercise in surreal minimalism like 'Moon', but they are few and far between.
Games on the other hand are essentially solitary affairs. Though there may be cut scenes, though you may have support characters giving you instructions, the narrative drive is determined by you and you alone.
Consider other good game/bad film cases such as Prince of Persia or Silent Hill. Now Prince of Persia could have worked had it been based around the Prince and Princess in a plausible and believable way. However, that would have required good writing.
Just imagine potential film adaptations of System-Shock 2 or Bioshock. Having one character walking round a series of corridors avoiding monsters/hybrids/splicers/etc for a hundred minutes does not make for a convincing narrative. If you tweak it and have a group of survivors in either, then you have the potential for what could be effective horror. Though System Shock could theoretically work, making it a reality and not some cheap copy of 'Alien' would be tricky indeed. And just how would you fit SHODAN into all of this?

More like "No Wrong Answer"

Is no one going to make a Rumble Roses videogame movie adaptation? I'd pay for that.

First off...

Did you seriously just rip on Mark Dacoscos? Brotherhood of the Wolf, I am Omega, Drive(one of the greatest straight-up martial arts films EVARR made), The Island of Dr. Moreau, Only the Brave, Only the Strong(very largely responsible for bringing Capoeira to the US consciousness, helping inspire the creation of the Eddy Gordo character for Tekken, also having worked with Marcelo Leite Pereira and Joselito Santo for the role--the former the man who ended up being the mocap actor for the development of Eddy Gordo), he played Eric Draven for the short lived The Crow: The TV Series, and he even had a role on Doogie Howser! He speaks four languages, including Mandarin Chinese, holds six international titles, and only plays on Iron Chef: America as a fictional nephew to Takeshi Kaga, the Chairman from the original Iron Chef so as to provide continuity to the series as it jumps oceans. John Williams is not the man, Mark Dacoscos is the man.

[pant, pant] Now that that is out of the way.

This episode is not really a fair episode to put in a series entitled "No" Right Answer...as there is definitely a right answer: The Super Mario Brothers Movie. The movie made back only $21 million of its $48 million budget, went through as few as six and as many as eight script changes during the filming of the movie.

Bob Hoskins has named the movie as his biggest regret in his career on more than one occasion in official interviews. When Dennis Hopper explained to his son that the reason for taking the role as King Koopa was that the boy needed shoes, his son's response was, "Dad, I didn't need shoes that badly."

During filming, it began to take an hour or more to reset for additional takes, as the script was being rewritten on set in between takes; this was about the time John Leguizamo and Bob Hoskins started trading shots of scotch backstage in between takes. There are several moments in the movie where you may think Luigi is drunk...HE IS.

There are some nice aspects about the film, though...being the directorial brainchild of Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel, the creators of Max Headroom, the sets and the world they created were compelling and awesome ideas wasted on such a piece of shit movie. Nintendo didn't try to choke the filmmakers' directorial vision, letting them pretty much do whatever they wanted...but the production hell the movie lived in was just too much to overcome.

Look, this is getting TLDR; check these two links if you want more skinny on the fat plumber.

GI Article: Mario's Film Folly
Super Mario Brothers Movie Archive

Poste Scripte:
There is another nice bit to Mario Brothers, the Movie...the little stinger at the end where Jim Asaki and Matt Niko play the Japanese businessmen trying to buy the rights to the adventure from Iggy and Spike so that they can make a video game out of it.

That was the best debate ever!

Had me laughing.

First time I've ever laughed out loud to this video feature... That was a fun one

What can we learn from this week's No Right Answer? That video games shouldn't be made into movies.

THAT IS THE RIGHT ANSWER. I WIN.

Alright, alright. Let's back that up:

-Super Mario Bros movie: Pretty lame. They got all the concepts from Mario bros and threw them out the window. However, they kinda shot themselves on the foot right from the start. Mario Bros did not have a good plot to make a movie with. And not only that, but like they said, it was a pioneer at it. So even if it sucked, they were testing the waters. So props for that.

-Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li: Horrible, HORRIBLE movie. Horrible acting, horrible plot, horrible effects (The two of them). The only thing that made me kinda wanna watch it was Lana Lang, and even she wasn't that great. Oh, and it had nothing to do with any game.

-Street Fighter, the original one: They went the opposite direction of Chun Li's one, where they tried to incorporate all of the things related to the game. It was a good attempt; at least they tried to stay true to the game? So yeah, it was bad, but not THAT bad. There's worse.

-Mortal Kombat: Same as the Street Fighter one. Good attempt, but not quite there yet. Can't blame them. Like they said, those kind of movies rarely got a good budget.

-Resident Evil: They're not THAT bad. Sure, they got very little to do with the game, but they're okay in their own genre. Not Oscar material, but better than, let's say, Twilight? And sure, Alice is pretty random and the producers do whatever they want with her in order to carry on with a thin plot, but the last movies are making more sense, at least, I see it as a spin-off the original RE universe.

-Max Payne: yeah, it was obvious this one was made to fit Mark, the actor, not his character. Pretty thin plot and highly predictable that had a thin connection to the actual game. Still, it was okay.

-Final Fantasy: The Spirit Within: Being an avid FF fan, I was pretty disappointed at first with this one. I, too, was expecting chocobos and magic and spike-haired dudes and dragons and crystals and stuff. But then, I decided to watch it again and this time, I pretended it had nothing to do with FF. And it was alright. The ending still disappointed me, but being some sort of drama, I guess its okay. Sure, the premise should be that it has something to do with the actual game. That's where they screwed it up. But again, it's a good movie. The one thing that makes me not wanna watch it as often is the Cid of that movie, Sid. He has to be the most useless, retarded and worth0killing supporting character of all time, hands down. Yet, he survives everything without a single scratch (literally) and even gets to take a nap during the final confrontation. I just hate that guy.

-Hitman: Same as Max Payne. It had a thin plot too but it was okay for a boring evening if you feel like watching some sort of action film.

-Uncharted?: I...uhh...hmm...

-Double Dragon: Never watched it. Sounds pretty bad, though. *Shrugs*

-Tekken/Dead or Alive: Same as above.

-Pokemon: The first one was good. An extended episode, but whatever. It was innovative. Mommy took me to the movies to have a good time and here I am. Second one? Yeah...alright. Legendary Pokemon. I'll play along. Third one? Uhh...alright? I guess... Fourth one? Okay, now you're pushing it. Fifth one and above? That's it. This is never-ending. You just lost me. If you'll excuse me, I gotta go home and look after my wife and kids.

Honorable mentions:

-Silent Hill (Bad): Complicated plot that wasn't easy to follow, good premise but horrible execution, they spammed Pyramid Head just to please the fanbase, it was hard to care about the entire thing (I actually watched the second half of the movie in x2speed, only playing it at the normal speed whenever someone monologued someone else and I didn't miss much. I was just trying not to fall asleep) and overall, a bad experience. At least Resident Evil makes it easy for newcomers to follow the plot. Zombies are bad, survive the outbreak, go. But SH was just...a train wreck.

-Prince of Persia (Good!): Yeah, like every other movie based off a videogame, there are things that don't add up, just like the dark prince showing up during the first movie when he's supposed to make his debut in the second one. But overall, it was pretty good! Newcomers loved the plot, people who knew the plot already were pleased with the way it was handled, the actors were good actors who actually looked like their videogame counterparts and the effects were not crap. Great soundtrack, great pacing, oh, boy, I cannot wait for a sequel. And I didn't even like the game that much!

Dan's face at the end...

I lol'd hard at this episode.

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