No Right Answer: Best Sensei Ever

Best Sensei Ever

It seems that Dan was so unabashedly furious about the ending of Mass Effect 3 that he needed a wise sensei to reign in his anger. A teacher to show him the ways of channeling his fury into constructive activities. While the state requires at least 30 hours of such anger management, it doesn't specify who the teacher should be. So make a funny and grab your chopsticks, because we've got to decide who the best sensei for the job would be.

Don't forget, if you don't understand our decisions or want to have more of our material to complete your shrines to us, Mondays feature a new written companion piece titled No Right Explanation. We dare you to make less sense!

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I'm sorry but I'm going to have to disqualify that last point.
Being a freaking ninja is a way cooler job than selling bonsai trees.

What? Splinter versus Miyagi?

What about PAI MEI, damn you?!?

He gave Daniel-San a future!

*Yay*

Gotta love Dan.

I'd go for Master Splinter though. He's a giant rat whose able to train four teenage turtles and eats Pizza. What's not to win about that? Mr.Miyagi taught him how to be a day laborer. Spliter taught the turtles how to be heroes.

You're lucky you chose those two though or I'd have to hurt you for forgetting them.

I think you're all forgetting Yoda. Strong in the ways of debate, he is.

image

pictured: the right answer

"Don't watch his crap."

Made me giggle like an 8 year old.

One guy trained a kid to beat an older teenage.

The other trained house pets to fight mutants and space aliens.

You decide which is the better one.

Though Kakashi could kick both their asses

Master Splinter gets my support on this topic. The guy loved the ninja turtles like if they were his own sons, thus really held no hate toward his enemies. The other sensei was a cool guy who I can appreciate for being so noble toward his one student, but Master Splinter made the Ninja Turtles a legacy to the world- he made them popular with the community which we have different series and animations based on the turtles. We're even getting a live action movie on them soon (despite it might not be good.. and they're going under the alien title lol.) But still.

Good episode overall though. You guys did make good points that made me acknowledge both senseis.

I glad to see Mr Miyagi had won since I was the the sensei I favour out of the two.
No offence to Master Splinter at least least I can see myself being train by Mr Miyagi while with Splinter I had to be a mutant animal or travel to the smelly swever to do the training sessions.

I thought Miyagi was a true boss, damn happy to see him win (Dan: "YEAH!") I also like how he would try to teach his students about peaceful opposition and mercy, especially against smaller living beings :)

Lunar Templar:

image

pictured: the right answer

I will not debate you on this, seeing as I completely agree.

karate wins over ninjutsu?? mastery the hidden arts loses to doing house chores for an old man who then proclaims YOU NOW KNOW KARATE!

Caramel Frappe:
Master Splinter gets my support on this topic. The guy loved the ninja turtles like if they were his own sons, thus really held no hate toward his enemies.

You do know the original story of the TMNT was that Splinter trained them to straight up kill the Shredder for revenge right? So harboring no hate towards his enemies kinda goes out the window there.

I immediately thought of Splinter. That said, and I hope they bring this up in NRE, Daniel helped Mr Miyagi as much as Miyagi helped Daniel. Miyagi was happy to live out the rest of his life as the caretaker, but Daniel helped him to return to society, helped him get the woman, and become happy in himself. He had an arc, which Splinter never did.

You want to have a touching moment remembering Pat Morita? NO! I must hate on 20th century scholars of comparative myth and religion!

ritchards:
I immediately thought of Splinter. That said, and I hope they bring this up in NRE, Daniel helped Mr Miyagi as much as Miyagi helped Daniel. Miyagi was happy to live out the rest of his life as the caretaker, but Daniel helped him to return to society, helped him get the woman, and become happy in himself. He had an arc, which Splinter never did.

That's a good point. I only saw/remember part of the old animated show, but Splinter was basically static.

DVS BSTrD:
I'm sorry but I'm going to have to disqualify that last point.
Being a freaking ninja is a way cooler job than selling bonsai trees.

Doesn't pay the bills though. My friend actually makes bank selling bonsai trees.

Caramel Frappe:
Master Splinter gets my support on this topic. The guy loved the ninja turtles like if they were his own sons, thus really held no hate toward his enemies. The other sensei was a cool guy who I can appreciate for being so noble toward his one student, but Master Splinter made the Ninja Turtles a legacy to the world- he made them popular with the community which we have different series and animations based on the turtles. We're even getting a live action movie on them soon (despite it might not be good.. and they're going under the alien title lol.) But still.

Good episode overall though. You guys did make good points that made me acknowledge both senseis.

Well but if we count the original story that isn't totally true. Master Splinter was full of hate for his enemies and trained the turtles to straight up murder the whole foot-clan.

Firefilm:
Best Sensei Ever

It seems that Dan was so unabashedly furious about the ending of Mass Effect 3 that he needed a wise sensei to reign in his anger. A teacher to show him the ways of channeling his fury into constructive activities. While the state requires at least 30 hours of such anger management, it doesn't specify who the teacher should be. So make a funny and grab your chopsticks, because we've got to decide who the best sensei for the job would be.

Don't forget, if you don't understand our decisions or want to have more of our material to complete your shrines to us, Mondays feature a new written companion piece titled No Right Explanation. We dare you to make less sense!

Watch Video

I nominate Master Roshi. We'll see how angry Dan is when he's laying highways and delivering milk with his bare hands while wearing a 100 lbs. turtle shell on his back.

TechTim:
karate wins over ninjutsu?? mastery the hidden arts loses to doing house chores for an old man who then proclaims YOU NOW KNOW KARATE!

That or waking up and saying some day saying 'I know Kung-Fu.' [In defence; The Matrix Is badass]

On Topic: Id go for Myagai 'cos Pat was just awesome. And most 'Old Master' sterotypes are based on him these days.

"A-Ha..."
*KyleBow*

Why did he drink the water, instead of drinking the glass, as he was told to?

Is there a legitimate place to watch any of the TMNT cartoons? All this talk is making me feel nostalgic.

Mr Miyagi trained a young man to realize that the power was inside him the whole time.

Master Splinter trained a group of mutated turtles how to be kickass ninja warriors.

Close call...

Actually Kyle, they saved the village from a typhoon, not a hurricane. Both are tropical cyclones, but hurricanes originate in the Atlantic Ocean while typhoons originate in the Pacific Ocean.

See what I did there, providing guidance and everything.

I think that this quandry may better be solved by looking at the students and their feats rather than the master.

Daniel-san learned to paint. Daniel-san learned to wax the car. Daniel-san learned to drive...in the movie AFTER learning how to wax the car. Daniel-san learned the Crane Kick. Daniel-san learned to break a big block of ice. Daniel-san couldn't keep the girl in any of his installments. Daniel-san abandoned his teacher when his own life went a different direction.

The turtles mastered four distinctly different weapons with different tactics for the express purpose of killing their enemies. Whenever they fought, it was to the death. They killed Uroku Saki, the strongest warrior of the strongest ninja clan in modern Japan, after the prolonged battle of wiping out his army. They defeated an army of Mousers while keeping the girl (of a different species, mind you...not a different nationality) alive and safe--oh yeah, the one they managed to keep around for each of their installments, btw--through to another day. They were transported to an alien world after taking on an invasion force of disembodied brains disguised in android-like bodies while trying to search for the mysteries of their mutant origins, where they enjoyed a fiesty glass of Zim-CUK! before being transported off-planet when captured by bipedal Triceratopians...where they dueled one-on-one to-the-death with seasoned gladiators of the same Triceratopian race to an audience of thousands of interstellar beings in an environment with to-them-unbreathable-atmosphere...WHERE THEY EMERGED VICTORIOUS AND WENT ON TO ESCAPE THE ARENA BY TAKING THE TRIKE EMPEROR HOSTAGE. Let's not forget Dr.Honeycutt trapped in...you know what, let's just stop there.

Now you tell me, who's training produced the better students?

The System from The Matrix. "(ZAP!) I know what ever I ever wanted to know at all forever done!"

"let me just say one thing... I hate Joseph Campbell"

Try Christopher Vogler, he surmised Joseph in a way that better suits story telling. Which I've translated into the language of 'Average Joe' below...

Step 1: Your hero is clueless of the stuff about to go down.
Step 2: Hero finds out a little of what will go down.
Step 3: Hero tries to GTFO before stuff hits fan (optional)
Step 4: Hero meets dude who has a clue. (Sensei)
Step 5-9: Hero goes off with guys he just met to put a cap in the bad guy's... *static*
Step 10: ...And then GTFO of there before he gets himself shot.
Step 11: He Gets shot.
Step 12: He survives, barely; and gets to brag to his mates about how he saved the world and brought back stuff. Tee shirt anyone?

...Now if only I could translate that paragraph back to English...

I nearly spit out my drink from laughter when Kyle said "He taught Ralph Machio how to paint a fence..."! WOW, the most impressive feat a Sensei can teach, right there :D

A fair win for Miagi in the end. Good job debating!

Nyanko Sensei is best sensei!

I agree Yoda is the eh.. man, Also I think he'd take superman. Wow cud you imagine, that would be emotional

George Best was a shameless alcoholic who drank himself to the brink of death, was given a (successful) liver transplant by the NHS, then continued to drink until it killed him. Massive tributes in all the British papers to this "legend".
Pat Morita died the same day and he got 2 sentences towards the back...
I hate this country.

 

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