Zero Punctuation: Yakuza: Dead Souls

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So when to we get a launch date for "Enough with the Fucking Zombies Already"?

How about his face gradually turning into a maniacal grin like Herman Cain...someone will be smoking in the background I'm sure.

I'm just glad they're not using airsoft guns.

I'm still playing Yakuza 4 so I'm not in the market for another one yet but it sounds like the shooting is completely fucked so I'll take my time.

I love RE4 and I'm not a twat!

So, just wondering, since Kid Icarus: Uprising was recently released in Australia last week, will Yahtzee be reviewing it anytime soon? I'm curious to see how much he hates it... or if he might actually like it, though I severely doubt it.

Maybe it's just a thing about Japanese zombie shooters that doesn't work. I can remember Dead Rising having the similarly aweful control scheme where you had to be stationary to be able to aim your gun properly. Luckily enough in that game it was possible to succeed by using just melee and guns were just an extra.

Game of Thrones? Don't you mean Game of Tits?

ipop@you:
Great, now I want a zombie game with Brian Blessed as the main character, I hope you're happy.

Shouting zombies to death while dressed in the zoltan outfit from flash gordon........ now there's a game idea.

True many games do add on parts with zombies but how many games are all about zombies to begin with? Off of the top of my head, I can only think of, Left 4 Dead, Dead rising, Dead island resident evil and that fortnight game that Epic Games is working on. Zombie games aren't as rampant as Yahtzee makes them out to be in my opinion.

Meh, zombies.

The last most creative thing i saw with them was plants vs zombies. Since then not so much

hmm, I kinda would have preferred it if you had to face the zombie apocalypse with nothing but melee weapons, since there's no second amendment in Japan and only cops can legally have guns. That would have been a HILARIOUS aside for yakuza members to be unusually law abiding.

Wait, here's a ZP review of an expansion-y game? Actually, that makes sense since he reviewed Fallout: New Vegas a while back.

If Yatzee has run out of truly new games to review, then maybe there is a possibility that he will address the several new things added to Minecraft like the new sandbox-style "ending" that adds a little more to the sandbox adventuring.

Another great episode Yahtzee.

It seems that zombie games are becoming way too stagnant as of late.

DJShire:
Game of Thrones? Don't you mean Game of Tits?

That's Dead or Alive.

A shame the crappy shooting mechanics. I got the impression that Yahtzee would have been happy with the game if he could just bikekill all the zombies.

"Each kick one half a butthole"? If there's 4 characters then that means each is kicking one quarter of a whole butthole, if each is kicking half then It's 2 pairs of characters kicking 2 seperate buttholes.

That aside I enjoyed the review and suddenly have an interest in the yakuza series.

Yahtzee:
"I love how zombies satirize the dumb, sheep-like consumerism of modern humanity... I love it so much I'm going to blindly buy everything with zombies in it with no perception of irony whatsovever!"

Hahaha, might catch a few zombie fans off guard with that one. Love it. I can't stand the glut of zombie everything in the past... 6-7 years.

image

I think the only point Yahtzee missed was that it's only guys who are currently obsessed with zombies. (Girls are obsessed with vampires).

Well, I'll still pick this game up at some point. Some times there's more to a game than it's component parts. Sometimes the sum is greater than the whole. So maybe zombies are played out and maybe guns aren't standard in the Yakuza games. I still want to play a yakuza shooting the fuck out of zombies in the streets of Kamurocho.

Probably for the same reason so many twats keep buying Mass Effect games (while complaining about them) or CoD games.

floppylobster:
I think the only point Yahtzee missed was that it's only guys who are currently obsessed with zombies. (Girls are obsessed with vampires).

But I don't think guys ever wanted two animated corpses to fight over them for their love and affection.

Dead chicks are nothing but brain-diggers, man

I think Yahtzee needs a game he can be passionately pissed at again. His last couple of reviews were so lukewarm. Not that I mind hearing his honest opinion, but half the fun is only possible when he's really urging to get a point across, and he does so best when he's upset.

CXZ_inc0g:

Cekil1:
Since it came out in Australia on March 29, I imagine he's gonna need time to actually play the game first. well.

Were you talking to me when you said that?

Yes, I was indeed speaking to you.

The "z" word used to fill me with glee. At the very least could you call them "infected" or something until I get completely sick of that too?

I was thinking up a competent and well-executed critique of the whole "zombie" thing but it turns out others have said what I would have said but better; so I'll sum up:
yo, fuck zombies

Cool review. The game sounds very quirky and fun and...Japanese...

I really need to get into this series.

Yakuza 4: sounded cool from the combat perspective

this: sounds lame purely because they put zombies in it

"Why the scrambled eggs on fuck toast did ...."

Lol, gotta work that into conversation sometime.

CD-R:

Mullahgrrl:
What's up with the rottweiler defamation?

Are all rottweilers naturally evil?

No

Wow, that is adorable, I can't see any obvious reson why he couldn't be a seeing eye dog.

I'm severly disapointed by the lack of tentacle-rape zombies.

It is worth playing if nothing else for the humor. A lot of the side quest and even some of the main story scenes where pretty funny.

I don't get it, why did they feel the need to weld a broken shooting combat system onto a perfectly good street fighting combat game just because there's zombies now? Zombie shooting games are a dime a dozen, a zombie brawling game would have actually stood out a bit as slightly original. I would have been far more interested in that game anyway.

Qitz:
What, no Kinect Star Wars Yahtzee? I would have thought you'd jump at the occasion to play that "awesome" game.

Yakuza was funny, especially the American Gun Trainer guy, he was pretty entertaining.

I do remind you he said that these episodes are written with about a week in advance (As the game came out this VERY week).

OT: I dare remind you that Dead Rising had similar shooting controls...Until DR2 that is.

I am the only one who saw the title of this video and thought it was an april fool's joke?

tehweave:
Why the scrambled eggs on fucktoast did I laugh so hard at that line?

Me too! I was holding it together til then.

I liked this review.

Thought: If Yakuza is mainly focused on up-close brawling, then why even put the guns in? Just have the protagonists curb-stomping zombies and liberally detaching their heads from their bodies.

Yes, it might make no sense from most basic zombie lore, but I ask... exactly how many Japanese games have realism in them? Hell, how many ZOMBIE games have realistic depictions of what happens when you get bitten? If L4D didn't have the cop-out 'immunity' thing with it, all four of them would be drooling zombies before you even got two steps out of the safe house.

Oh man, the "serious face" guy is going to be my new favorite ZP thing.

And dammit, Brian Blessed needs to be in more things. I'm suffering from a severe lack.

"If you can't beat me, you're not very good at this game. Well either that, or you're just not SPEAKING LOUDLY ENOUGH!"

Altered Nova:
I don't get it, why did they feel the need to weld a broken shooting combat system onto a perfectly good street fighting combat game just because there's zombies now? Zombie shooting games are a dime a dozen, a zombie brawling game would have actually stood out a bit as slightly original. I would have been far more interested in that game anyway.

They did make one. It was an arcade/Dreamcast game called House of the Dead: Zombie Revenge.
It basically plays the same as the Die Hard arcade game.

WHY ISN'T THIS ON X-BOX LIVE ARCADE SEGA!!!!!!!

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