No Right Answer: Best Non-Medical Doctor Ever

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Okay, they never defined what a 'non-medical doctor Doctor' was properly...

As pointed out, Zoidberg is a doctor of alien physiology.

...and the Doctor also has a medical degree (Second Doctor mentions it).
He also only had a sonic screwdriver from the end of Second Doctor to start of Fifth, (then Ninth onwards).
And as for male companions: Ian, Ben, Jamie, Harry, Adric, Turlough... then Jack, Mickey and Rory. (Adam doesn't count as he was deliberately an example of a bad male companion, as was Mickey, to set Jack up.)

This was a hard choice. The Doctor, versus the most lovable decapodian around. When you need a quick fix pulled out of the quick fix drawer, you go see the Doctor. When you need a hilariously backwards but useful fix, why not see Zoidberg?

Overmind78:
I'd like to see Dr. Who vs Dr. Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG1).

One's responsible for innumerable deaths across several galaxies, the destruction of some of the most intellectual and impressive races the universe has seen, and the other travels in a blue phone box.

Mortamus:

BEST MUSICAL IN A TV SHOW

such as the "Once more, With Feeling" episode of Buffy.

My Musical in Scrubs would take that one.

Mortamus:
I loved this debate. It was underdog vs hero. Although, in debate terms, I think this was one of those "Shit." moments for Chris and he bounced back pretty well by using a lovable and memorable character.

I'd like to see...

BEST MUSICAL IN A TV SHOW

such as the "Once more, With Feeling" episode of Buffy.

I kinda like that idea, but I wouldn't want to put it on our queue unless there were more than 2 options in total. So we have the Scrubs one, the Buffy one, and what others?

Azuaron:
Yeah... the Doctor's tools aren't integral to him being the Doctor. In fact, he often losses/breaks/can't use his tools, and is still awesome enough to save the day.

Also, Chris needs to watch The Doctor's Wife (written by Neil Gaiman); the TARDIS is not a mere "tool".

We mention that the TARDIS turns into a woman during the second half of the two-part "Best Time Machine Ever" episode. He was made aware, I guess he just didn't know what to do with that fact during the debate.

Daystar Clarion:
Congrats in the 1 year mark guys!

Keep up the good work, your show is one of the highlights of my week.

Zoidberg is best doctor.

Why thank you very much, Daystar. Your gif of a magical horse (yes I know what it's from) is the highlight of my comment perusing.

Whew, so many people to quote, so I'll just say this: The Doctor's best weapon is his mind, and his charisma.
No! His 2 weapons are his mind & his charisma, and his reputation as a badass.
Wait! His 3 weapons are his mind, charisma, and reputation. There, i've stopped. I can't keep that going.

Any other tools he employs (ex: Sonic Screwdriver, that phone he wrote the Reset-to-0 virus with) are extensions of his mind, his charisma inspires others to join him in Earth-saving, and his reputation either scares his enemies off or makes them act foolishly enough to destroy them, as if his mere prescence says to all challengers "I WILL END YOU".

And that's the way we like it.

GamemasterAnthony:
What is that shirt Chris is wearing? It looks like Pacman meets Dead Space...

It's an alternate interpretation of Pacman where last survivor of the crew is running away through empty spaceship from hallucinations of other dead crew-members chugging down anti-anxiety pills.

While I generally consider the performance of a musical to be a hate crime against good taste, Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious is still fantastic.

"Can I be a boozehound? Not 'til you're fifteeeeeen."

All I have to say is this:
Next Doctor Who, why not Zoidberg? :P

There is only one right answer...<.<

image

Dr. Freeman...

geier:
And what about Gordon Freeman ?
He's a non-medical doctor

This. Dr Gordon Motherfucking Freeman is the greatest non medical doctor of all time. Dr Who time travels and screws things with sound but The Freeman battles interdimensional aliens with guns. Also the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator is way cooler than a screwdriver.

Zoidberg is a medical doctor. He may suck with human patients but in season six it was revealed he is actually quite skilled when it comes to aliens. I don't have speakers at work so maybe you didn't actually choose him for this debate but I saw him mentioned in the tags.

Surely the Doctor is a doctor of medicine? I know he mentions it at least in New Earth. Its just he happens to be a doctor of other things as well because he's had 900 years to learn them

SpAc3man:

geier:
And what about Gordon Freeman ?
He's a non-medical doctor

This. Dr Gordon Motherfucking Freeman is the greatest non medical doctor of all time. Dr Who time travels and screws things with sound but The Freeman battles interdimensional aliens with guns. Also the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator is way cooler than a screwdriver.

He doesn't just turn screws with it, it also functions as a lockpick and can "reverse the polarity of the neutron flow" with it, among other things. (acetylene torch, detonating mines, somic lance to cut out a lock, and so on and so forth)

LadyRhian:

SpAc3man:
*snip*

He doesn't just turn screws with it, it also functions as a lockpick and can "reverse the polarity of the neutron flow" with it, among other things. (acetylene torch, detonating mines, somic lance to cut out a lock, and so on and so forth)

Changing the direction that some neutrons are travelling in is hardly an impressive thing. I could do it with a regular screwdriver. Also any tool that uses sound to do all those things will be horribly inefficient. Gordon is still more awesome.

Aptspire:

ShadowHand25:
The Doctor without his tools is John Pertwee.

Before "The Three Doctors" :)
"The Doctor needs a prop" Chris pls:

I was thinking that exactly. Chris must only believe in Tennant's Doctor or something.

Why not Zoidberg?

DAVID MOTHERFUCKING TENNANT, THAT'S WHY.

TLS14:

ShadowHand25:
The Doctor without his tools is John Pertwee.

Nah, that'd be Peter Davison. I remember that he liked to not use a sonic screwdriver. Granted, I haven't watched Pertwee's seasons, but I think Davison only used the sonic once or twice.

I've only gotten through most of the Pertwee seasons; I'm not too familiar with docs 4-7.
Or one and two for that matter, but you can't find those episodes anywhere since most of that footage is lost.

Firefilm:

Mortamus:
I loved this debate. It was underdog vs hero. Although, in debate terms, I think this was one of those "Shit." moments for Chris and he bounced back pretty well by using a lovable and memorable character.

I'd like to see...

BEST MUSICAL IN A TV SHOW

such as the "Once more, With Feeling" episode of Buffy.

I kinda like that idea, but I wouldn't want to put it on our queue unless there were more than 2 options in total. So we have the Scrubs one, the Buffy one, and what others?

I think the office, how I met your mother, House M.D., 30 rock, and the simpsons all had musical numbers at one time or another, there are probable more but I can't remember. Please do this episode I want to see it bad :P

I love this show, glad you guys still enjoy making it!

jecht35:

Firefilm:

Mortamus:
I loved this debate. It was underdog vs hero. Although, in debate terms, I think this was one of those "Shit." moments for Chris and he bounced back pretty well by using a lovable and memorable character.

I'd like to see...

BEST MUSICAL IN A TV SHOW

such as the "Once more, With Feeling" episode of Buffy.

I kinda like that idea, but I wouldn't want to put it on our queue unless there were more than 2 options in total. So we have the Scrubs one, the Buffy one, and what others?

I think the office, how I met your mother, House M.D., 30 rock, and the simpsons all had musical numbers at one time or another, there are probable more but I can't remember. Please do this episode I want to see it bad :P

I have the winning TV Show right here

never mind fail post

Tipsy Giant:

jecht35:

Firefilm:

I kinda like that idea, but I wouldn't want to put it on our queue unless there were more than 2 options in total. So we have the Scrubs one, the Buffy one, and what others?

I think the office, how I met your mother, House M.D., 30 rock, and the simpsons all had musical numbers at one time or another, there are probable more but I can't remember. Please do this episode I want to see it bad :P

I have the winning TV Show right here

This is the best thing ever it wins by default lol

You guys are one of my favorite webseries out there, so I say this with nothing but love. But I have to rant, nonetheless.

Wait, wait, wait. You do best non-medical doctor and not ONE of the Ghostbusters is mentioned?! THEY'RE ALL DOCTORS*! Not only that, but they built all of their equipment from scratch!

Let me repeat that, they built ALL of their equipment from shit that was just lying around. That includes the NUCLEAR PARTICLE ACCELERATORS STRAPPED TO THEIR BACKS!

Yeah, Proton Packs beat the hell out of sonic screwdrivers all day, every day!

*Winston got his doctorate in between 1989 (Ghostbusters 2) and 1991 (Ghostbusters: The Game), so yes, he's a doctor now, too.

There is only one right answer here:

Oh come on.

Doctor Jones ... better known as Indiana.

Sigh.

This show could be good and worth watching every week and yet somehow you completely waste the format of this show on the Poe's Law of Internet Discussions that often don't really match up to each other.

What's next week's topic? Tohno Shiki versus Superman? Most boring lead character?

You MIGHT have had an interesting show if say, you were debating the merits of NuWho Doctor's vs OldWho Doctor's, but comparing Zoiberg and 'The Doctor' not even any particular Doctor but just NuWho in general it seems; but I would honestly be fearful you would manage to make that debate boring as well :(

Constructive Criticism Time:

Speech: I don't know if these are script or not, but if they're not start scripting them more and practice. You have this sort of effect with your speech patterns that I can only really describe as slurring, that while resembles actual "two guys on a couch" arguing is boring. Because everyone can find a dude on a couch at college or work to argue these kinds of arguments with, what do you offer that real life arguments don't?

If they are scripted... Uhm, try better?

Arguments: Ignoring the format for the moment that I have severe issues with lets focus on how you argue, while you guys don't seem to cut each other off and what not which I applaud you for they are way too loose. Honestly you should use a stripped down form of Parliamentary debating; opening statement, rebuttal, counter rebuttal, closing statements. You seem to be exchanging point form talking points "X is awesome because of Y" "OBJECTION! M is AWESOMER because of B!!!!" and basically lobbing the conch back and forth and only seem to be making one point at a time, which would be frustrating if and only if:

You arguments actually made Substantiated Points: My biggest gripe has got to be the low effort put into many of the arguments *FOR EXAMPLE* you make the point in the Pokemon vs Digimon ""debate"" that Pokemon (paraphrasing) was worse because it's based on a game and just arbitrarily award a point on that? That's garbage, you make no effort to show *why* that may be the case, and the other guy makes no effort to provide obvious counter examples, like Fate/Zero or Steins;Gate. (I'm not a pokemon fan, I like Digimon better as well, but not for those lazy arguments.

But you don't, its either softball questions or questions that are borderline non sequitors that don't really match up with the content at hand.

With the above episode you compare *Zoidberg* with *The Doctor* how are they comparable? How is "non medical doctor" even a proper category? Who aside from crack pairing fan forums are even *thinking* of the oh so important fan question of which one is the better non MD? It's beyond silly it's pointless and even worse it's not even funny it's just blegh.

The Doctor is what? A main character and protagonist of his own Scifi/Fantasy show where he saves a vaguely Douglas Adams esque universe? And Zoigberg is just a sidekick recurring character who everyone ignores because *thats the joke* everyone ignores him because its fun to laugh at lonely people.

Now on to format; I like the idea for this show, where you argue over niche nerd arguments and just :sperg: all over the place, but you don't really sperg, not in anyways that are particularly entertaining; and I really don't mind neither picked side "winning" or one side only winning because of an arbitrary point regarding personal preference like a kind of coin flip just to underscore the point; but it feels like nothing is at stake, and that's a part of the problem, nerd arguments are *srz busnez* and if we want to watch people have a *srz businez* argument over nerd stuff they need to be *more* entertaining than online nerd arguments on nerd forums but somehow your less entertaining.

It's time to shape up folks, roll out the bigger arguments, do some research and release your inner :sperg:.

Before the troll brigade arrives I would like to underscore that I am *genuinely* trying to be constructive, though I am also exaggerating to accentuate the negative; I would really look forward to this show if it was more interesting and engaging. Good luck and have fun.

misterprickly:
Chris was wrong on many areas.
1) Zoidberg IS a medical doctor of alien physiology (bad luck if your a human).

No, you are wrong here. In episode 5 of season 7 in the episode called "The Duh-Vinci Code" they're talking about Da-Vinci and everyone is impressed with Zoidberg's knowledge on that so they ask him how he knows. He says that his doctorate is in art history. In all other episodes when someone asks him if he's really a doctor he's always avoiding the subject.

Sid Meier:
Sigh.

This show could be good and worth watching every week and yet somehow you completely waste the format of this show on the Poe's Law of Internet Discussions that often don't really match up to each other.

What's next week's topic? Tohno Shiki versus Superman? Most boring lead character?

You MIGHT have had an interesting show if say, you were debating the merits of NuWho Doctor's vs OldWho Doctor's, but comparing Zoiberg and 'The Doctor' not even any particular Doctor but just NuWho in general it seems; but I would honestly be fearful you would manage to make that debate boring as well :(

Constructive Criticism Time:

Speech: I don't know if these are script or not, but if they're not start scripting them more and practice. You have this sort of effect with your speech patterns that I can only really describe as slurring, that while resembles actual "two guys on a couch" arguing is boring. Because everyone can find a dude on a couch at college or work to argue these kinds of arguments with, what do you offer that real life arguments don't?

If they are scripted... Uhm, try better?

Arguments: Ignoring the format for the moment that I have severe issues with lets focus on how you argue, while you guys don't seem to cut each other off and what not which I applaud you for they are way too loose. Honestly you should use a stripped down form of Parliamentary debating; opening statement, rebuttal, counter rebuttal, closing statements. You seem to be exchanging point form talking points "X is awesome because of Y" "OBJECTION! M is AWESOMER because of B!!!!" and basically lobbing the conch back and forth and only seem to be making one point at a time, which would be frustrating if and only if:

You arguments actually made Substantiated Points: My biggest gripe has got to be the low effort put into many of the arguments *FOR EXAMPLE* you make the point in the Pokemon vs Digimon ""debate"" that Pokemon (paraphrasing) was worse because it's based on a game and just arbitrarily award a point on that? That's garbage, you make no effort to show *why* that may be the case, and the other guy makes no effort to provide obvious counter examples, like Fate/Zero or Steins;Gate. (I'm not a pokemon fan, I like Digimon better as well, but not for those lazy arguments.

But you don't, its either softball questions or questions that are borderline non sequitors that don't really match up with the content at hand.

With the above episode you compare *Zoidberg* with *The Doctor* how are they comparable? How is "non medical doctor" even a proper category? Who aside from crack pairing fan forums are even *thinking* of the oh so important fan question of which one is the better non MD? It's beyond silly it's pointless and even worse it's not even funny it's just blegh.

The Doctor is what? A main character and protagonist of his own Scifi/Fantasy show where he saves a vaguely Douglas Adams esque universe? And Zoigberg is just a sidekick recurring character who everyone ignores because *thats the joke* everyone ignores him because its fun to laugh at lonely people.

Now on to format; I like the idea for this show, where you argue over niche nerd arguments and just :sperg: all over the place, but you don't really sperg, not in anyways that are particularly entertaining; and I really don't mind neither picked side "winning" or one side only winning because of an arbitrary point regarding personal preference like a kind of coin flip just to underscore the point; but it feels like nothing is at stake, and that's a part of the problem, nerd arguments are *srz busnez* and if we want to watch people have a *srz businez* argument over nerd stuff they need to be *more* entertaining than online nerd arguments on nerd forums but somehow your less entertaining.

It's time to shape up folks, roll out the bigger arguments, do some research and release your inner :sperg:.

Before the troll brigade arrives I would like to underscore that I am *genuinely* trying to be constructive, though I am also exaggerating to accentuate the negative; I would really look forward to this show if it was more interesting and engaging. Good luck and have fun.

First of all. Let me thank you truly for taking the time to give us constructive feedback in the hopes of improving our show. I have seen many people blast our show and their hate spew is far enough from your observations that I don't think anyone can take offense to anything you have to say.

Now then...

Responding to your ambiguity as to whether or not we use scripts, we are firm admitters that there are no scripts, or any preparation beforehand of any kind. We only have the tools of a familiarity with the source material to back up our efforts to win the day, and everything is pure improvisation. We have never used scripts, nor have we done any research on the topics we are going to debate. Most times we check the site and Facebook for fan suggestions, pick the ones we know anything about, and press record right there and then.

Reading through your well thought out suggestions, I can summarize your main opinion as such; You want us to do research and use actual points that would win a debate no matter who was debating, thus lending credulity to the winner or at least the perceived winner WHILE making sure the comedy is tighter. While I'm sure that would be a great show, it isn't ours.

You see, the key to job security is not endevoring to make yourself obsolete. If we go onto the Internet, research the topics at hand, and deliver our findings in a proper debate format, then it will be educational but not something that anyone else couldn't do. The product that we turn in every week isn't the debates themselves, but rather the people making the arguments. A point made by Chris may win him the debate, but if I tried to make the same point I would loose. Chris, Kyle and myself (Dan) all put on different internet debating personalities and debate from those points of view. Chris takes on the debater that tries to counter facts with utter nonsense, yet throws truth in every so often to keep you guessing just how much is hot air and how much is savant knowledge. Kyle is the rational one, trying to use knowledge and obscure facts to win the day. I find myself somewhere inbetween them.

Basically I would be interested in maybe taking one episode and doing research before hand, but it would only be done to try it out. But who knows, we started the show debating the worst options for each topic, and now we moved to the relative best ones. Maybe our show will continue to evolve.

To comment on your confusion on why Zoidberg went against The Doctor, we did Best TV Doctor a while back, between Cox and House, many people were upset that we didn't include The Doctor. And much in Chris' character's fasion, he picked an opponent that was so far out in left field that it threw me off guard and he managed to snag a few points while I found my footing.

Anyways, I would be interested in any suggestions you might have that incorporated the facts that we don't have scripts and don't do research.

Sid Meier:
MEGA SNIP!

I'm very glad that Dan got here first because he's always been a more tempered individual. It gave me a bit of perspective as, and this shouldn't be a surprise since I've mentioned it before, I do sincerely get it. I watch a good handful of shows around the Internet and started watching things on The Escapist years back. I see the investment that you have as the viewer, which is important for us to respect, so I will do my best to do that.

The issue I find is that while your suggestions are well developed and come from a place that seems to want to help, it began with the traditional Internet "sigh." What this signifies is that you are about to speak to someone lower than you, particularly someone who is so utterly clueless and helpless that you, as the superior individual, need to save them. "I keep burning my hand whenever I touch this stove!" "Sigh."

What bothers me with that is you're taking the stance that we simply don't get it. We don't understand what it's like to be a viewer and don't understand what we could possibly be doing "wrong." My only counter to that would involve a sigh right back as, well, you don't seem to understand certain aspects of the show. No, that isn't an "our show is too high class for you" remark. We've mentioned this on Media Sandwich a few times but it doesn't become apparent on No Right answer as much: Dan, Kyle, and myself all have fulltime jobs and spouses. Dan even has a kid now. This puts us in a different position than most of the other contributors here who devote most of their week and then some to busting their backs bringing excellent content that gleams in the sun.

You may remember Lisa Foiles' Top 5 show from a few years back and how it dealt with a lot of the similar thins we're debating (the best of and worst of, specifically). I asked her back then how she was enjoying it and she told me that while it was fun and that she was proud of the work, the process of one supposedly silly list would take her an entire week of research before filming to the point that it became her fulltime job.

The current format of the show allows us to still have jobs and family lives because we're not making enough for even one of us to live off of No Right Answer's views, though of course we're also splitting things evenly three ways. And no, I'm not complaining about money. I am so thankful for it and the fact that, amazingly, we got it from being characters of ourselves on camera.

Basically, as Dan pointed out, we could research and script out our episodes, but that's not us, and part of that is because we simply do not have the time in a week to do it. We listen to how fans react and we try our best to deliver something that entertains the many and only bothers the few. Some weeks we do a better job of that than others. But we did do a lot of planning and forethought on the name. No Right Answer. We thought it would explain itself pretty well. We never claimed to be experts on anything and sometimes just find the challenge in taking an unpopular choice that technically works, such as Zoidberg against The Doctor. Apples vs Oranges is what we do best, but we do try and keep them linked somehow. Apples and Oranges are both at least fruits and can be debated for Best Fruits Ever. In fact, we had some fans and good friends do just that, when we asked them to, because we didn't want to be the only ones talking.

Dang, got me monologuing right back. You clever son of a bitch. ;)

Happy one year of debates! I like the non-scripted format. What debates will be next? Best movie monster? Best collectable card game?

The best non-medical doctor? Krieger, obviously.

image

That'll do, Pigly.

SpAc3man:

geier:
And what about Gordon Freeman ?
He's a non-medical doctor

This. Dr Gordon Motherfucking Freeman is the greatest non medical doctor of all time. Dr Who time travels and screws things with sound but The Freeman battles interdimensional aliens with guns. Also the Zero Point Energy Field Manipulator is way cooler than a screwdriver.

Dr. Freeman infact has two PHDs; one in Theoretical Physics and one in Applied Physics. As in Physics applied rapidly to someone's face.

Yopaz:

misterprickly:
Chris was wrong on many areas.
1) Zoidberg IS a medical doctor of alien physiology (bad luck if your a human).

No, you are wrong here. In episode 5 of season 7 in the episode called "The Duh-Vinci Code" they're talking about Da-Vinci and everyone is impressed with Zoidberg's knowledge on that so they ask him how he knows. He says that his doctorate is in art history. In all other episodes when someone asks him if he's really a doctor he's always avoiding the subject.

Remember season 6 ep 23 "tip of the Ziodberg"... That's where they say that he's the best when it comes to aliens but total crap when it comes to humans.

Doctor Doom is the best Non-Medical Doctor. Come on, guys.

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