Zero Punctuation: Quantum Conundrum

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Angry Camel:
Good to see Yahtzee getting a bit angrier again. Okay, the ending was childish, but that Steam forum user does sound quite obnoxious.

For the steam forums that guy is pretty much run of the mill. The steam forums are basically baby's first /b/ (Word censoring and some organization in the chaos)

Oh, I hate these hardware and IT cunts as well. And many others like them.

Not really. Try 'Put the disc into the console. Wait for it to install to the hard drive. Wait for it to call home, see if there are patches, and install *those*, while staring at ads for Facebook and social networking sites since for some reason the console won't let you do too much else while letting the game patch in the background, as opposed to how it updates on a PC. Fix dinner and get some sleep while waiting for the patches to finish due to the network being slower than two tin cans and a string. Play the game, and try to rememeber why you wanted to play this in the first place.' Mind you, this is PSN--XBL may provide better results.

I *really* miss the 'Put the disc in and play' days...which is why console-wise I stick with my PS2 and am reluctant to borrow my brother's PS3. :-/

Although, 'the console does everything for you' compared to 'you fiddle around the .ini files because the devs only programmed to have it optimized on ONE particular machine, which unfortunately wasn't yours'... I dunno. I like my odds with the console, to be honest.

You'd have to go through the same process of downloading patches on a PC anyway. If your connection is as slow as you say, then...

Zero Serenity:
Finally! Somebody else on this planet who absolutely hates motion blur in video games. It's always the first thing I turn off in graphics.

I only hate when it's implemented poorly. Which, honestly, is often the case with most games.

However, when it's used subtly, and only in moments of extreme motion (and coupled with a very slight DOF effect), it can make a game seem quite cinematic. At least, in terms of it's look.

Is it necessary? Of course not. But again, done well it can add that little extra "oomph" to a graphical engine.

Finally! Someone not afraid to call out elitists. Seriously. I like hanging around P.C. forums and tech forums to nerd out over the latest hardware, but the things like wot Mr Croshaw describes in this video really pisses me off.

Same here. I'm an avid PC gamer, have been for years now, and I love keeping "mostly" up-to-date on the latest tech and advancements. As for consoles, even though I grew up playing on them, I find it harder and harder to even want to play on them anymore. (save for my collection of old consoles. gotta love the classics.)

However, I can not fucking stand the elitists, often in the minority, who scream and yell and insult on forums like that. I don't care if their elitist stance is for PC, a console, a game, or a developer. They really just need to grow the hell up and stop being a prick.

Yahtzee: *calls someone a cunt*
Escapist Magazine reaction: *keeps making videos out of it*

Escapist forumer: *calls someone a cunt*
Escapist Magazine reaction: *bans forumer*

Cool story, Escapist Magazine.

Grenge Di Origin:
Yahtzee: *calls someone a cunt*
Escapist Magazine reaction: *keeps making videos out of it*

Escapist forumer: *calls someone a cunt*
Escapist Magazine reaction: *bans forumer*

Cool story, Escapist Magazine.

Escapist Magazine reaction: *bans forumer*
But in all seriousness... uh...
I was going to say something about ponies, but... Yeah, I got nothing.

I really enjoyed Quantum Conundrum. Possibly because I played through Half Life enough as a child that I could navigate Xen without any trouble, so the first person platforming didn't bother me that much. That meant I could just fly around on sofas with impunity, and didn't have to care about the shockingly bad decision not to include player legs/3rd person mode/some sort of auto-jump targeting.

Captcha: hard and fast

In case anybody was wondering, Sarah Winchester (as in Winchester firearms) was a crazy rich lady who believed that if she ever finished construction on her home, ghosts would come and kill her. So she kept adding to it. Now it's a twisted maze of dead-ends, doors opening up to open air and pointless stairways.

Every PC gamer who is trying to stop people hating on them probably face palmed when Yahtzee pointed out what he did

It's easy to see why the game is less fun than it sounds on paper, cause paper is a flimsy thing that gets see through when you rub grease on it. Best things in life come unexpected and without anything to compare it too. That's why Rick Astley will ever be known for only one song and most people won't even know who he is half the time.

"...into a ring of hungry wolves."

That was my favorite bit.

So I finally decided to goo and watch some footage of this game. It looks alright if a little too portal-ish. The thing is though, I'm just not a big fan of puzzle games. Still, seems worth a try.

I really enjoyed QC, but some of the puzzles are really twitchy, and they were often over needlessly lethal pools of water. Portal had plenty of lethal floors, but I didn't fall into them with any frequency.

I am looking forward to the DLC, and I mostly enjoyed completing the shift and time challenges (although a handful of the latter were brutal).

I would just like to mention that at no point did they guy say that "you're not a PC gamer if you don't own a high end system". He said

"PC gamers need a gaming PC. Not a triple-SLI, nitrogen cooled, plutonium powered Pineapple systems 74, but at the least a reasonably fast dual core and reasonable fast graphics card."

If you read later on, when he says gaming PC he says

I said a PC gamer must have a gaming PC. Just like a 360 gamer must have a 360. It's the minimum requirement for entry to the club

Nowhere did he say that you need to have a high end pc to play PC games, he simply said you needed a PC capable of running the games on their minimum settings.

Also, if you actually read the post, his reply is in regards to the OP's comment regarding being a PC gamer since the "Dawn of 3D games" and that Quantum Conundrum needed additional graphics options. His response was merely to point out that in the "dawn of 3D gaming", there weren't interface options for graphics or resolutions and you had to know how to edit .ini files to do so. Basically he called the OP out as being someone who hasn't been gaming since the "dawn of 3D gaming", because if he had, he would full well know how to edit the .ini files to get the settings he wants.

Sure, he sounds like a jerk for calling him out, but he's not being elitist. He's simply pointing out that all the options that the OP was looking for were available given that he really was from "the dawn of 3D gaming".

It helps that you read the post comprehensively before going around calling people cunts.

-Link removed by Mod


Here is the c-- he is poster number
Prepare the flamethrowers

I'm sorry, but am I the only one that thinks the kid had a perfectly reasonable response and Yahtzee simply made him sound like some elitest PC gaming cunt?

You are not the only one who thinks this. I found his post, read it and then shrugged. Its nothing to get excited about and personally I think he has a point.

I believe Yahtzee plays games on a laptop, and while its nice that pc architecture is modular and unified so that it's possible to put components together in any form and then run games on them, its not really a fair comparison as a platform to an 360 or PS3, since neither of which is a mobile platform and therefore neither of which has its processing power gimped.


I know! Those evil, evil consoles! Giving games to people who paid less than you!

Wait, paid less?

I bought the PC version of DE:HR on release day for like 27.
I think on the 360 it was 39.99
(just checking...)
**** me, it was 49.99.
Gee, I wonder why the second hand market is so big, thank goodness it exists, that is price jump is absurd.

Edit: Oh I read your other post, $3000 for a PC, for $3000 Id want it gold plated and studded with precious gems. I paid about 325 (plugged into my TV btw) which is slightly more than my PS3 yet I've made the money back easily in the significantly lower cost of games. I made my friend a gaming PC for 250 and it can run Skyrim on default high settings no problem.

I've thought about spending more on a PC, although I settled with the idea that its a bit excessive to spend 600 just to be able to run my dwarf fortress smoothly.

Edit 2: I spent more on a gaming laptop than my desktop, about 500. It ran almost everything without complaint, however it was made by Sony who decided to solder the graphics chips on with jelly. Lesson learned; desktop is how you game on pc.

It always bugged me that this was in a guy's house.

I mean, this guy LIVES in a house that can't be navigated without using an alternate dimension to place a safe on a button. Which brings me nicely to point many god damn safes does one man need?

At least portal was a deliberate rat in a maze scenario.

And then there are the gameplay goofs like the pin precision jumps. I'd also say its a lot less intuitive than portal was. I never had to think WHAT to do in portal, just how. QC had me very confused as to what the aim was in several places.

Maybe instead of a seperate testing area, he turned his house into a testing area; room by room; until he was trapped deep in it. Why buy a seperate property when you can use the one you got

lol lot of Internet action after this...well okay that's a drop in the ocean but whatever. it's easy for people to be aggressive "counts" from behind a computer screen after all :P much more passive in real life, but still "counts" haha

To be fair, editing ini files is really easy.

I had to rewind the last bit about a certain forum post.

That was glorious!

Poisoned Al:
I wholeheartedly agree on one point: If you think you don't need quality settings in a PC game you're a c**t.

Even if you do a a nuclear powered PC, sometimes you need to turn features off for a number of reasons, say, something like motion blur that makes it looks like arse.

I agree. Really one of the worse things games can do is remove the ability to change the settings.

What is their graphic team all depressed and suicidal? Was like the idea that someone might turn down the graphics setting for the game to play better going to push them over the edge.

I for one find to many companies pushing more and more money for better graphics and physic engines. At the cost of killing game play and story. I often time find my self enjoying old school games from the 90's better then mordern games. I know not everyone can sit down and enjoy the games that do not age well but still sit on the epic self. Like Daggerfall and Deus Ex.

And the hunt begins for that comment. Let me know what you guys turn up with, ok?

Meh it's fair enough to say .ini files can be edited. It isn't ok for devs to require .ini editing for basic settings though.

I know PCs typically have a keyboard but that doesn't mean Devs should force gamers to use one to tweak graphical settings outside of a game menu...

I was surprised that the jumping was a problem he had with it. I find it okay. The uneven furniture thing is a fair point but I figured that's part of the game. The environments are pretty samey though.

I like it I think it's good fun. I would recommend it to people.

Seriously guys? We're not a forum that grabs pitchforks on some guy who posted on an entirely different forum.

If I see any more links to that user of the Steam forums after this, I will start handing out warnings for flaming.

You're free to do your "angry mob" act elsewhere, but don't do it here.

You know he said it didn't run well on his laptop then showed a picture of a laptop?
That's a dell studio XPS 16, which is what I use, does that mean it won't run properly on mine either? :S

I bought it on pre-order, played it a third of the way so far. It's fun, but not breathtaking. I didn't notice any slow-down, but I got a pretty decent PC. Given how it looks, it would be dissapointing if it didn't run properly on slower PCs. The first person jumping can be tricky, but I haven't found it completely frustrating so far. Though I'm not going for 100% completion, since it would require pretty much pixel-perfect precision on every single level or else you won't make it in either the required time, shifts or deaths.

But I do wonder why the dev left Valve to make this. I obviously don't know the inner workings of Valve, but I given how this is "Portal but with a new physics breaking puzzle mechanism", and seeing how big Portal got, I strongly doubt Valve wouldn't have let her make this game for them. And perhaps the guys who did the physics puzzles in half life 2 could've given some tips on how much first-person jumping puzzles and how you shouldn't give out the only achievements for doing 50 of them in quick succesion with no mistakes allowed. Or at least told her "Remember Xen? Not like that."

All I got out of that video is this:
Yahtzee doesn't give half a fuck that he finally reviewed a game whose title starts with Q and that the Zero Punctuation Alphabet is now complete.

oh. your. god.

you are so right. SHAME ON HIM!

You're free to do your "angry mob" act elsewhere, but don't do it here.

To be fair, my link was so that people could actually read the post because Yathzee clearly misread it and is calling people names for the wrong reason. Unfortunately people are too thick headed to actually read it themselves and would rather take the opinions of others.

So this game is like a not fun Rochard?

Love it when Yahtzee takes the piss out of that elitist PC game mindset.

All I got out of that video is this:
Yahtzee doesn't give half a fuck that he finally reviewed a game whose title starts with Q and that the Zero Punctuation Alphabet is now complete.

Almost, 'X' is technically "XBLA Double Bill" rather then an individual game. :D


As far as the platforming...I have mixed agreement there. Yeah, the smaller objects were a pain in the tail (though I think it was even more of a problem controlling them once you got on them, particularly for the various 'flying' routines where you had to feather the reverse-grav on and off), but...not especially impossible.

Even though it really put me off - I once failed the same jump 15 times or so - I do recall thinking not that it was a failed mechanic, more one that I am totally unused to. I don't play many platformers and never have. The last platformers I remember playing were mario on the nes and original gameboy. Combined with the crappy FP perspective it makes that sort of thing a real chore to me. Yahtzee is quite likely in a similar position.

The bottom line though basically is that it tried too hard to be portal and missed. Quirky invisible voice, lasers, science ball, bottomless death pits, amusing paintings, catapulty things you stand on. It all just feels like a copy of portal with no improvements so it automatically annoys me.

Have to say, I kind of agree with Cunt McCuntcar. If you can't run that fucking game decently there's something seriously fucking wrong with your computer or you are running a computer from back when they were coal powered. And come on, it's not like editing an .ini file is some bloody piece of sorcery.

You're a game reviewer and you don't know how to bloody edit an .ini file? You aren't even a fucking gamer! Call me a cunt if you will but these are basics and you should feel seriously bad if you can't do these things.

Yahtzee has managed over the years to prove that he's not very good at playing anything, knows about bupkiss about computers and has some sort of allergy towards anything with more depth than my patience for ignorance. What does this mean? Well, he should stick to reviewing games on consoles where things are designed more for his speed. Casual Gamer AKA Concussed Sloth.

Oh, and the platforming is easy in this game. It just requires a little finesse and something called hand - eye coordination. I know it's hard to comprehend but you get that if you game a little on something other than consoles after a while.

Cool. John de Lancie is still omnipotent.


Well, let me just get this straight, lest I be accused of straw-manning by someone who was insecure enough to interpret "gaming today has a lot of problems" as "I hate P.C. gaming and blame it for everything". Let me just double-check and, yep, you're flicking back to the old P.C. elitist strongholds: "Console controls are evil because they have fewer buttons and are less responsive than a mouse" and "consoles have less processing power so they kill any game made for them".

Well, might as well dive straight in. So, the whole "if you don't have access to the whole F-number-series buttons set, your game is worthless". What? Gaming panels aren't about how many bells and whistles they have, it's about how well they get your commands into the game. And to my mind, when you require a keyboard, that is *require*, not are helped by, then something's wrong. Remember Deus Ex? How fiddling around with 5 different augmentation buttons and 2 different inventory slots when you wanted to run into frantic combat was incredibly complicated and distracted just as much from the game as having to, say, go into a limited menu and open them all there? It doesn't matter how many buttons your game uses, so long as it uses them well. If it uses 1 button and is fun, that's a sucess. If it uses a gamepad, and has to have a few combo button presses for more elaborate moves, that's a success. If it uses a kerboard an requires 50 horrible, finger-twisting button presses to step forward, that's a failure. Seriously, it doesn't matter how much "depth" you can hammer into a 90-button layout, if the game's not fun, why bother?

Oh, and the whole "consoles have less processing power" chestnut. I left that 'till last because it's refreshingly easy. You know what I'm going to do now to chill out? On my I7 with 6GB of ram and my 1GB or GDDR5? I'm going to play tetris. Mutha-fuckin'-tetris. A game that will literally run on my calculator. And you know what? I'm going to enjoy it. Because it's not about processing power, it's all about what you do with it. And before the inevitable cry of luddite hits my ears, I'll say this: I'll give gaming companies more processing power when they deserve it. If gaming companies weren't, say, pissing huge amounts of their budgets down the drain on marketing and making short, shallow and shit games with the leeway current graphics allow, I'd be all over a new console generation/expanding the role of the P.C.. But until then, fuck it. It's now what you've got, it's how you use it.

So rememember: it's all about the game, not the hardware and a good game is where you use what you've got. Also, tetris.

For what it is i liked QC: The comedy and story/atmosphere were partly quite dull and the mansion looked very samey, but the gameplay was good (better than Portal in my opinion) and the art stile was charming. I even enjoyed the platforming and timing parts, though I see how some may dislike them.

I don't get how a gaming laptop might have problems with the game, even my non gaming laptop (without a discrete graphics card) can run it at 25-40 fps.
The game has some some lag issues when it saves or loads however, i hope the developers fix that in the future.

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