Zero Punctuation: The Amazing Spider-Man

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 NEXT
 

This game was the most fun I have ever had with a crappy game. I was even thinking of letting my young daughter try it until that fisting scene at the end. Come to think of it, the part in the bank vault with the Black Cat also crossed the line.

I've got to say that even though I enjoyed this game, watching this review was more fun, so once again, Yahtzee, you are right. QTE's seriously need a big clobbering by Batman's whale penis baguette.

When Bob Chipman is not watching and reviewing movies, he's maintaining the balance between our world and the video game world or something.

Ok ok I got this. The Kingpin, tired of Spider Man mucking up his plans, decides that he is going to build his next super weapon in Detroit. In the game's prologue(perfect tutorial section), Spidey breaks into one of the Kingpin's NY strongholds and discovers the nefarious plot. So Peter Parker flies to Detroit, a fresh untapped sandbox landscape. A place with a high unemployment rate (10.2% in June according to the BLS)and thus a different social dynamic than NYC. Could they have *gasp* some social commentary in a Spider Man game? Some depth? We will never know because game execs are too afraid to try.

Oh and the super weapon will need a gigantic diamond. When Spidey ultimately prevails, he takes the diamond to that pawn shop from Hardcore Pawn.

I remember when spider man was good on the PS2... *Looks out the window*

... No I don't. But sadly if the game-play was more realistic, I think the number of people completing the game would go down, leaving the percentage to 5% since most fan-boys would explode from the annoyance of not liking things that don't work out for them. Like 5 year-old's on multi-player.

That is, unless the 80% are those annoying surrealists who don't understand how reality works. Speaking of which, isn't it only been since The Amazing Spider, they only started to care "where" the webs go? I think on the PS1 they didn't care, and if they did, then I was most probably shooting webs at air-planes and birds!

Also, don't take my 'fan-boy' comment too serious... Fan-girls do exist too.
(Sadly a little more, since they have a 'Cool Guy' as the new Spider Man not a 'Nerd'. Which personally ruined the movie but... Oh well).

Jman1236:
Free advice yahtzee, never provoke the wrath of moviebob. Also when are you going to do a ps vita review, both Metal Gear collection and Gravity Daze are out so you something to review.

Because god knows, when you irritate Moviebob (Even without intent on doing so) you can expect three weeks of him denouncing you as the worst thing to happen to video games since ever.

Balkan:

Wolf Hagen:
Seemes Defenatly like a QTE Fest. <.<

Why do they keep doing that? In case we mess up the artists Stile?

Bad developers! Bad! ;P

Seriously ? You are telling me that just because he was never in any other city , that means that he cant be ? Its a fictional character , a they can just write it on paper and bam , he is there .
There isnt anything sacred about this paper-thin character .

I agree with this, not the paper thin character I like Spider-man but I'm tired of New York, I'm tired of cities in general for this type of game but it's needed for Spider-man to swing, and Spider-Man has left New York several times even more so now that he's with the Avengers.

Caffeine_Bombed:

CronoT:
Since the beginning of video games, expecting a movie tie-in game to suck is like expecting the sun to rise. It just happens, and there's very little we can do to stop it from happening.

There are some exceptions. I really enjoyed Constantine on the Xbox. And the incredibly violent Wolverine Oranges tie-in!

Both of those were comic books long before they were movies. They had a very large and deep canon to draw from. They didn't have to rely on the movie for the story or for the hyped up publicity.

GoldeneEye007 is usually trotted out as the exception to the rule, but most people either forget or conveniently omit that the movie came out about 3-4 years before the game.

Balkan:
Why awlays New Yourk ? Why there is no spider-man in LA for example ? Arent there enough skyscrapers ?
Probably Prototype 1 is the better spider-man game than spider man .

Except Prototype was actually a Hulk game.

Jman1236:
Free advice yahtzee, never provoke the wrath of moviebob. Also when are you going to do a ps vita review, both Metal Gear collection and Gravity Daze are out so you something to review.

Bob already hates Yahtzee, considering Yahtzee has been verbally abusing Bob's favorite video game company for the better part of 3 years now. While this wouldn't bother a non-fanboy, Bob is practically the alpha fanboy.

Neofishie:
Can we just get Spider Man 2-2? Keep the web slinging and keep the amount of citizens reporting crimes to a minimum so I don't get burnt out on the combat just by travelling to my next destination.

I think that's what Web of Shadows was, though that was more 3-2, but 3 with more content.

So another movie tie-in game that is not good.No surprise there whatsoever.

Oh well,on to the next one!

lmao man yatzee was in great form today by

Insipid fish paste sandwich to Batman's fearsome whale penis baguette

i was laughing so hard I started tearing up

That Fresh Prince joke was a hard act to follow.

"curt lizardy-bottom"
I loled.

Balkan:
Why awlays New Yourk ? Why there is no spider-man in LA for example ? Arent there enough skyscrapers ?
Probably Prototype 1 is the better spider-man game than spider man .

I remember there being a Spiderman incarnation that took place in India. As far as I know though, he doesn't have his own game.

Moonlight Butterfly:

Will anyone ever make a good spiderman game?

It's called Spiderman 2 for the PS2.

OT: It's gonna be hard for a game to succeed at ripping off Arkham City because it's all so... Batman-y. If it works it's just gonna be called a Batman clone and ignored.

Maybe i'm missing something.
But why everytime someone says "good spider-man game" everyone remembers only SM2?
Ultimate SM wasn't that bad.

Wait did Yahtzee just complain about the game having a "location warp" system in the game? Great now you've given a reason to say you're inept at this job for reasons that aren't Nintendo related, Croshaw. Namely the fact that you're just looking too desperately for things to complain about even if its stupid.

There's a term for that showing up in game reviewers' videos: "Irate Gamer" syndrome.

I don't mind the idea of stealth-based gameplay, but Batman and Spidey are different heroes. Spider-Man is supposed to be knee-deep in the action most of the time. He he does do stealth stuff, it's hardly his primary shtick.

Batman plays it coy because he lacks a Spider-Sense, Spider-Strength, Spider-Agility, Spider-Stamina, and Spider-hair all over his body.

Though Bruce Wayne doesn't need as much Nair.

Balkan:
Why awlays New Yourk ? Why there is no spider-man in LA for example ? Arent there enough skyscrapers ?

Because Spidey's a New York-based hero?

Probably Prototype 1 is the better spider-man game than spider man .

Yeah, boring grindfests FTW.

Lordofthesuplex:
There's a term for that showing up in game reviewers' videos: "Irate Gamer" syndrome.

I thought that was "derr how do you jump" while "Press A to jump" is on screen.

Zachary Amaranth:
I don't mind the idea of stealth-based gameplay, but Batman and Spidey are different heroes. Spider-Man is supposed to be knee-deep in the action most of the time. He he does do stealth stuff, it's hardly his primary shtick.

Batman plays it coy because he lacks a Spider-Sense, Spider-Strength, Spider-Agility, Spider-Stamina, and Spider-hair all over his body.

Though Bruce Wayne doesn't need as much Nair.

Balkan:
Why awlays New Yourk ? Why there is no spider-man in LA for example ? Arent there enough skyscrapers ?

Because Spidey's a New York-based hero?

Probably Prototype 1 is the better spider-man game than spider man .

Yeah, boring grindfests FTW.

IM going to quote Yahtzee on this one " There is not point at keeping things just in sake of tradition "
POint is that I have played in this fucking city , days of my life in GTA , crysis 2 , prototype. All of these games are hell of a lot better than spider man .
Also prototype is as interesting as you make it to be . If you are a boring mother fucker who uses only one power , then sure , it will be repetitive .
The real limits in the game are the limits of one`s imagination.

Overseer76:
I can't tell you how many games I've had to taken returns on from parents because it was "too hard". Activision must be striving to produce the ultimate "can't-fail movie-tie-in cash-grab screw-the-quality" game ever.

And that costume is seriously horrendous. It's far too busy and I have a hard time believing that Peter would design such an overblown, over-tweaked monstrosity on his first try. Daredevil had better fashion sense even in his first costume (the brown and yellow one) -- and he's blind!

Hah! Good ones, about Activision and costumes. Now I'm wondering if a Daredevil game can be good. He can't play THAT different from either Spider-Man or Batman, can he? He sounds like a balance between the two.

NameIsRobertPaulson:

Jman1236:
Free advice yahtzee, never provoke the wrath of moviebob. Also when are you going to do a ps vita review, both Metal Gear collection and Gravity Daze are out so you something to review.

Bob already hates Yahtzee, considering Yahtzee has been verbally abusing Bob's favorite video game company for the better part of 3 years now. While this wouldn't bother a non-fanboy, Bob is practically the alpha fanboy.

True dat. Remember when PeTA made that Mario rip-off game with the skinless tanooki? Bob really let 'em have it in one of my favorite Big Picture episodes, because they dared to step up to his main man Mario. I'm expecting a showdown of some sort to commence any day now. But let's focus on what they have in common: verbally eviscerating stupid things they hate. And they hate subbing numbers for letters in names, like in sequel titles.

So it's a movie tie in game and it's not very good? I agree with Yathzee about the "toothless" comment. The biggest problem with most tie in games is that, apart from a few exceptions, there's no real substance to them. It's a popcorn game in the purest sense. You play it and then you immediately forget about it, at least in my experience.

SnakeoilSage:
You might as well rip off Arkham City 'cause it's about as close to being Spider-man as you can get. Batman swings around in the rafters, has a free-flow combat system that would seamlessly fit Spider-man's own fighting style of flailing around like a bee in a jar and there's plenty of exploration options for a guy who can climb anything.

Maybe its time for Marvel Films to take control and make Marvel Games.

Pretty much this. I know most people would just call it a rip off, but I don't really care. I really liked both Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. Granted, I like Batman a lot more than I like Spiderman, but I'd still play it. They could call it Spiderman: New York City.

I feel pretty bad for our friendly neighborhood sell-out these days. The gaming community hasn't been very forgiving towards him, and neither was Yahtzee in that last review.

Yahtzee's right, all we want is to sling around a gigantic city in a red and blue wet suit, is that too much to ask for?

Redundancylad223:
Pretty much this. I know most people would just call it a rip off, but I don't really care. I really liked both Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. Granted, I like Batman a lot more than I like Spiderman, but I'd still play it. They could call it Spiderman: New York City.

Blend it with some ideas with Infamous find a way to tie it in with the aftermath of the Avengers movie and you've got a hit game. People already compare these games to Arkham City so whatever, go for broke.

SnakeoilSage:

Redundancylad223:
Pretty much this. I know most people would just call it a rip off, but I don't really care. I really liked both Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. Granted, I like Batman a lot more than I like Spiderman, but I'd still play it. They could call it Spiderman: New York City.

Blend it with some ideas with Infamous find a way to tie it in with the aftermath of the Avengers movie and you've got a hit game. People already compare these games to Arkham City so whatever, go for broke.

I think I see where you're going with this. Maybe add some cameos from other Marvel heroes, Like Wolverine, and Catwoman, maybe even Impossible Man.

P.S. You goofed and put my name on the quote, instead of the dude above me.

Batman's Whale Penis Baguette.
Whale. Penis. Baguette.
I fell to one knee.

AAAAAAH. Double post.

MegaManOfNumbers:

Lordofthesuplex:
Wait did Yahtzee just complain about the game having a "location warp" system in the game? Great now you've given a reason to say you're inept at this job for reasons that aren't Nintendo related, Croshaw. Namely the fact that you're just looking too desperately for things to complain about even if its stupid.

There's a term for that showing up in game reviewers' videos: "Irate Gamer" syndrome.

Woah, settle down.

He's complaining that there is a system in the game that turns the obviously "interactive experience" into an "uninteractive one". (Yes I know uninteractive isn't a word)

Also:

Skyrim has a location warp system.
ASM has a "I'm-too-lazy-to-play-the-game" button.

Eh, I enjoyed it, it's fun I guess..

rembrandtqeinstein:
Not completely off topic but Spider Man for Genesis was freaking awesome for back in the day

Man, I want that game! Spidey beating up civilians? Sure it is not grant theft web?

I thought Web of Shadows was pretty good, but that's because it wasn't a movie tie-in.

CyricZ:
Darth Vader's y-front. Now there's a mental image.

Darth Vader's y fronts had me rolling as well.

The part that really bothers me with the web slinging is that we reverted right back to what web slinging was in Spiderman one. Web slinging from clouds rather than buildings. You can't really make those awesome arc swings if you can't grab onto something above or below you. People just don't know how to make a spiderman game anymore. I think the adventure genre really pollutes spiderman games. They just want to be like them then be Spiderman.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here