Escape to the Movies: Total Recall

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At first, I thought he was just over-emphasizing his accent to say AHNOLD's name, because ... well it's funny to make fun of some one else's accent with a completely unrelated accent. Or it could be. Because now I'm thinking about Schwarzenegger with a bit of Boston mixed into his standard speel.

As for the movie, somewhat unsurprised that it ended up being lackluster. Call my cynical (or don't, not like I care) but whenever a rated R 80s flick shows up with a new PG-13 rating, it smells like money grab. The original had heaps of over-the-top Schwarzenegger violence, tons of swearing and boobs, occasionally 3 at a time. A PG-13 remake just smells like "if you tone all that down, we'll sell more tickets"

Also completely agree about Colin Farrell. The movies where he's worked best, imo, have been things like In Bruges, Horrible Bosses, and even the hilariously bad Daredevil. Generic leading man #12 he isn't.

Let's just not forget... LENS FLARE!

anthony87:
C'mon Bob, we all know Spiderman was fantastic.

Spiderman seeemed like a movie that happened to have Spiderman in it. Instead of being a Spiderman movie.

It was a film that had, what appeared to be, a group of moderately good actors bogged down by a very boring and poorly written script.

It's sad really, I'd like to see these folks get a second try with a writer that actually cares. I thought the snarky Spiderman bits fit the character very well but were far and few between.

It wasn't TERRIBLE but it was forgettable which is a very big shame.

What happened your voice or accent for this video? You had this I dunno lisp or something going on, made me think of Barry Kripkie from Big Bang theory.

Really Australia is where the poor live, I have gone to both countries and I must say would rather live down under then anywhere else on the world and more so then the British isles, my god that is one of the most drab boring places in the world, and while every second animal in Australia might be able to kill you the weather more then makes up for it.

I didn't see the most important of questions addressed in this movie.

Does the remake have the 3 boobed chick?

...Seriously, that's all I wanna know.

Strain42:
I didn't see the most important of questions addressed in this movie.

Does the remake have the 3 boobed chick?

...Seriously, that's all I wanna know.

Yes, but you don't see full frontal with her. That's another stupid thing is that they made this a PG-13.

Well after that plot description I was already bummed enough to not go see it anymore. Why does every pseudo sci-fi movie these days have to have some kind of dystopia based on social commentary? Chemical warfare? Elimination of the middle class? Please. Why not just keep it at a civil war on Mars? That's way more interesting. Ugh.

Great review, love the way you accent kept slipping through slightly. especially when you say Schwarzenegger.

Haven't seen Total Recall (original) will do now.

Aiddon:

Strain42:
I didn't see the most important of questions addressed in this movie.

Does the remake have the 3 boobed chick?

...Seriously, that's all I wanna know.

Yes, but you don't see full frontal with her. That's another stupid thing is that they made this a PG-13.

That made me happy...and then angry...and now just angry :P

I'm gonna go now. The internet is no place to be randomly angry over trivial matters.

actually, another reason it sucks is because it's written by Kurt Wimmer who made Equilibrium and Ultraviolet. The guy can't write to save his life.

The Gentleman:
That's a tad sad, because I was really hoping to at least have a better movie than the original.

I specifically saw this because someone said it was better than the original. I totally disagree with Bob about one thing though.

And those that haven't seen the 1990 version and don't know the book seem to like it more than those that have.

Big disparity at Rotten tomatoes. Last time I looked, Critics at 33%, users 76%.

anthony87:
C'mon Bob, we all know Spiderman was fantastic.

In other words, it was amazing... Don't kill me if you've already got this.

Aiddon:
typical. Also, I realized that last year we got a crappy remake of an Arnold movie (Conan) and we got a crappy remake of one THIS year. And let's not forget we're also getting remakes of other Verhoeven flicks like Robocop and Starship Troopers (the latter of which is being played straight for some baffling reason)

I can't believe they spent $200 million on this; that's money they won't be getting back

To be fair if they're basing Starship Troopers off the book instead of the movie it should be pretty good. The movies were supposed to be a satirical take on the book so if they made one that was serious (with its powered armor, and nuclear bombs) then it should be interesting.

OT:I called it. The second I saw the first trailer I knew it wasn't going to be that good. How can you have Total Recall without Mars? (I didn't read the short story so I'm going off the other movie)

I'm still gonna watch it, mainly because my brother wants to, it gives me something to do, our parents pay, and my parents don't complain I spend all my time in front of a computer screen.

Also Bob's Boston Accent started to slip out a bit more.

And his LENS FLARE voice is sexy as shit.

Aiddon:

Strain42:
I didn't see the most important of questions addressed in this movie.

Does the remake have the 3 boobed chick?

...Seriously, that's all I wanna know.

Yes, but you don't see full frontal with her. That's another stupid thing is that they made this a PG-13.

They actually totally did. It's PG-13, but it's one of those rare PG-13 movies were they get the nudity okay'd.

I don't think I've even seen the original. *shrug*

Also about the X-Men thing, I suppose if I read comics that would actually mean something.

So who else saw this one coming a mile away?
The original was a goofy, campy guilty pleasure, so I knew as soon as I saw the dark, gritty action trailer with the pandering inclusion of the 3 boobed woman that this thing was going to be made of fail.
You are right as usual, MovieBob.

Aiddon:

Strain42:
I didn't see the most important of questions addressed in this movie.

Does the remake have the 3 boobed chick?

...Seriously, that's all I wanna know.

Yes, but you don't see full frontal with her. That's another stupid thing is that they made this a PG-13.

Oh what? Bullshit! Thats the only thing anyone really remembers about the original. Why would you do a thing like that?

Never saw the 1st one. Never intended to see this one. But everyone in Britain being rich and everyone in Australia being poor sounds like a great plan that should be implemented immediately.

Since everyone else is chipping in on this; I always thought Amazing Spiderman was gonna be shit after the trailers, then when Bob said it what shit I thought yep this is definitely gonna be shite.
Then it was in fact pretty dam good.

Also is Days of future past part of the story that happened in WATXM with sentinels everywhere and Cable jumping around or a different version of that?

Looks I'll go watch Dark Knight Rises again! DESHI DESHI BASARA BASARA

I was born in the 80's but grew up in the 90's, thus I'm the perfect age to not understand why some films from that decade are popular and then witness them come round again in bland remakes. Red Dawn, Judge Dredd and Total Recall were handled really poorly and I have low expectations for their remakes.

As for the original Total Recall, they had a great concept and then barely touched. Instead of embracing the mystery, they show scenes (early on) without the main character and make in clear they didn't give him the Recall spy program. The few bits I liked (e.g. The fight involving the holo-projecter) were offset by really dumb things like the Johnny cabs. I swear if it wasn't for the triple breasted hooker, no-one would remember this film...Argghhh...sorry, had to rant...

Two points:

1.) That Boston accent popped in and out a lot this review.
2.) From what I can tell from the many reviews I've read / seen, this movie isn't a remake of Total Recall, it's a remake of The Bourne Identity. Instead of being about a regular guy who doesn't know what's going and we don't know what it real or what is not, it's a secret agent with amnesia.

FelixG:

SirPlindington:
Your accent came out really strong here. I wish you would do entire episode with your real voice. I think everyone else would agree.

I wouldn't, his accent is annoying as hell

I suppose it can it get kind of grating, but I meant more for the novelty of it. To each their own, though.

Bob your accent is totally sneaking through in this episode :P

Anyone else think those soldier guys look like the sith soldiers from KoTOR? Maybe with the color palette of the mechs from Mass Effect 2?

Was it just me or did Bob have a much more noticeable accent for this review?

Either way I could have predicted this response for this film. At least more than a couple of years had passed since the original for this movie, unlike some more recent remakes/ reboots (looking at your Spiderman).

Haven't watched it yet, haven't read any comments. I'm predicting the words "crap", "rehash", but he may compliment Bryan Cranston.

Edit: Hmm, that was actually a pretty coherent review. The kind that I started watching Bob for in the first place.

And he didn't mention Bryan Cranston once.

All I know is, Kate Beckinsdale in tight black outfits >>>>>>>>> Anne Hathaway in tight black outfits.

Why? Fine, if we're gonna talk about how much Len Wiseman wants us to remind us that Kate Beckinsdale is hot (and hell, I would if I were a guy and married to her), then I'm gonna say I liked her Seline than Hathaway's Selina. (I brought it up because if Bob is gonna claim TDKR was disappointing, I'm going to say I'm still not convinced Nolan can create a decent female character.)

As for this movie, meh. I'll probably see it. The first one was dumb fun, and I'm not expecting any better from this one, or any worse for that matter.

Ugh, my friend already bought tickets to see it tonight. Please let this be the one time I don't agree with you!

Great, now that you've told the whole concept of it all taking place in fantasy as opposed to it actually happening, I can't un-concept it. Now I don't even fucking know if you've spoiled the movie for me or not, and if you have, then fuck you, Moviebob "Spoils the whole goddamn movie without spoiler warnings before you've watched it" Chipman.

I agree with MovieBob 100%, Kate Beckinsale is very hot

I'm usually a pretty nice and happy person, but for some reason I just love when these remakes, reboots, retellings, rehashes, re-whatevers fail. Just seems like a cheap cash grab using the barest minimum of effort. Ah well, guess I'm officially a grumpy old man at 34

For all the fun we made of old Arnold, his accent and his acting, this is the second modern-day remake of a movie of his that bombs. It must suck for the respective lead actors of Conan and Total Recall to hear from critics they didn't play the part as good as the Governator.

Sis:
Before watching the review: The first one was good? I mean, it's not bad for sure. But to call it good ...

After: I can kinda see your point. It plays itself too much like a serious movie in your eyes, wasting a lot of what made the original movie so much fun to watch. But, to be honest, that's my complaint about the original movie. That it doesn't take itself serious enough and has to resort to typical 80's and 90's futuristic and sci-fi sillyness.

I see what you mean. We in the born-in-the-early-to-mid-80's demo wear rose-tinted glasses on a lot of stuff from our youth, including Verhoven's Total Recall. This new version tried to seriously treat the themes from Philip K. Dick's original story of identity and reality, because that was Dick's whole thing.

Gatx:
Anyone else think those soldier guys look like the sith soldiers from KoTOR? Maybe with the color palette of the mechs from Mass Effect 2?

On second look, they DO look like the Sith Troopers from the KOTOR games, but more like the Sith's battle droids! Now I can't unsee it, and neither will you!

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