Zero Punctuation: Darksiders 2

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Yep, my first thought on seeing the opening cutscene were much the same as Yahtzee's with the stupidity of the other two "horsemen's" duties and affinity... hell, even without that, the series it kinda shooting its load early by bringing in death for the second installment...

Sober Thal:
Aww hell, I be being bad 4 postin this shit, me thinks. If I offend you, want to say sorries right now, and I want no bad feelings at you. Just roll with it, eh?

"Sober" Thal my ass. Was that supposed to make any sense, or did I just read a post from the "town eccentric"?

leviadragon99:
Yep, my first thought on seeing the opening cutscene were much the same as Yahtzee's with the stupidity of the other two "horsemen's" duties and affinity... hell, even without that, the series it kinda shooting its load early by bringing in death for the second installment...

Not just bringing Death in the 2nd installment, but using Death to bring people back to life.

The Crotch:

Sober Thal:
Aww hell, I be being bad 4 postin this shit, me thinks. If I offend you, want to say sorries right now, and I want no bad feelings at you. Just roll with it, eh?

"Sober" Thal my ass. Was that supposed to make any sense, or did I just read a post from the "town eccentric"?

Yep. You are right in thinking "I am OFF!"

I didn't make any sense.

Thanks for acknowledging that. I was beginning to think it/I was something different.

*Que the forever alone gifs

EDIT: LOL, you are The Crotch!

Where can I purchase these "gold plated marijuana trousers"?
:D

Peace Frog:
Wait, 20 hours is considered a really long playtime?

mine was closer to 30 by the time i put the last boss down, but that's with side quest faffing about that I'm still not done with

I'd probably be enjoying this game more if i hadn't run into a game-breaking bug 8 hours in that is forcing me to restart.

Just finished the game a few days ago.

What I agree with:
-Fractal Padding: The whole "rule of three" item gathering got really old really fast, and it just wasn't in line with Death's no nonsense attitude. Yeah, he snarked at the requests and was perpetually annoyed by having to do the busy-work, but in the end he still did it willingly. That was just kinda lame. -.-
-RPG elements: The stats are under-explained and gathering weapons quickly becomes a busywork.

What I don't agree with:
-The setting: IMO it was really interesting. The whole back-story, the characters, the grey-and-black morality of said characters, how everyone and their mother has a plot of their own, etc... I found it all really engaging, much more so than the fighting/puzzling.

What I miss from the review:
-Weak bosses: Most of the bosses were really disappointing. The only two interesting bosses were the Guardian (big-ass golem fight = epic) and Samael (with him teleporting and Death bouncing while dodging all the time, it was a really entertaining and spectacular battle... if a little too easy). All the others were just either boring or rehashes of some other bosses, and the final boss was a joke that I managed to kill by simply button-smashing and a single Reaper-switch.
-The platforming: The platforming has no flow to it and the controls/camera angles don't make it any better. It's especially bad on PC.

Overall it was a fun time-waster, but nothing spectacular and often quite draggy.

I quite like the series, I do agree though that making up two fake horsemen who make no sense is idiotic.

Lord_Gremlin:
I quite like the series, I do agree though that making up two fake horsemen who make no sense is idiotic.

All right, this is something I didn't get since the day-one complains:
WHY is changing the name of two horsemen idiotic?! Everyone is complaining about this infinitely minuscule point like it was some huge-ass offense against common sense when it's just not! The series takes elements from judeo-christian lore aplenty, but that's just that: taking elements, not emulating the mythology!

We have magitech angels with griffins, demons with rocket-launchers, a female Uriel (hell, we even have a female rider!), giant dwarves, a World Tree, sandworms, golems, the Corruption, a land of the dead that apparently operates on reincarnation instead of the heaven-and-hell formula and hundreds of other things that are sure as hell not part of the lore, and yet people still pick on this one idiotic point about the horsemen's name like it was some huuuuuge deviation. Just get your priorities straight, people. -.-

GabeZhul:

Lord_Gremlin:
I quite like the series, I do agree though that making up two fake horsemen who make no sense is idiotic.

All right, this is something I didn't get since the day-one complains:
WHY is changing the name of two horsemen idiotic?! Everyone is complaining about this infinitely minuscule point like it was some huge-ass offense against common sense when it's just not! The series takes elements from judeo-christian lore aplenty, but that's just that: taking elements, not emulating the mythology!

We have magitech angels with griffins, demons with rocket-launchers, a female Uriel (hell, we even have a female rider!), giant dwarves, a World Three, sandworms, golems, the Corruption, a land of the dead that apparently operates on reincarnation instead of the heaven-and-hell formula and hundreds of other things that are sure as hell not part of the lore, and yet people still pick on this one idiotic point about the horsemen's name like it was some huuuuuge deviation. Just get your priorities straight, people. -.-

This is a big deal. You either don't bother borrowing ideas, or don't do it half-arsed way, like pointed in ZP. Trust me, if they make Darksiders 3 and the star is "Strife" suddenly sales are a whole lot lower.

It's strange, whenever I read reviews I always get the impression that the reviewer just got into games or didn't started playing games for very long.

Yahtzee is the only one that I felt actually sees eye to eye with me. Perhaps because he played as much games as I did and as long as I did or perhaps he's not constrain to be impartial or politically correct.

Regardless, most people takes zero punctuation as a joke, call me crazy but it's the only review that I takes seriously.

Lord_Gremlin:
I quite like the series, I do agree though that making up two fake horsemen who make no sense is idiotic.

I am pretty sure that in the "Book of Revelations" the first horseman is called Strife, or something like Conquest leads to Strife or something.

Falseprophet:

TheFederation:
i'm disappointed to hear about the other two horsemen, i would really look forward to playing a game as famine or pestulence, it would be interesting at least.

I think the time delay on those guys' kills wouldn't have satisfied the average twitch-happy gamer:

FAMINE: I've burned your crops and salted the earth and a few months from now when your grain stores run out, you'll slowly die of starvation! Bwa-ha-ha!

In that case I imagine Famine-siders will step away from the rpg/ zelda completely this time and play more like Farm Simulator... only with less tilling and more salting.

Also there's this:

I won't lie; I could get behind this.

lord.jeff:

rayen020:
okay yahtzee how the hell do you hold the controller? and how many fingers do you have? you always complain about holding shoulder buttons and trigger buttons at the same time. that hasn't been a problem since The N64. I thought we all got this down during the PS1/PS2 era, thumbs do all the top of controller work, index for top shoulder, middle finger for bottom shoulder/trigger, ring and pinky for stability. you've complained about this in a few videos now and it's starting to bug me.

I thought to same thing watching the video, I've never had trouble hitting multiple shoulder buttons, though still a good review.

I'm on the other end of the fence I cant for the love of Jim Sterling hit multiple shoulder buttons on the same side like Yahtzee. This may be because I only owned a Ps2 and a Ps3 and most of the games I have owned were RPG's.

This just gave me a great idea for a gamified bureaucracy project.

Lord_Gremlin:

GabeZhul:

Lord_Gremlin:
I quite like the series, I do agree though that making up two fake horsemen who make no sense is idiotic.

All right, this is something I didn't get since the day-one complains:
WHY is changing the name of two horsemen idiotic?! Everyone is complaining about this infinitely minuscule point like it was some huge-ass offense against common sense when it's just not! The series takes elements from judeo-christian lore aplenty, but that's just that: taking elements, not emulating the mythology!

We have magitech angels with griffins, demons with rocket-launchers, a female Uriel (hell, we even have a female rider!), giant dwarves, a World Three, sandworms, golems, the Corruption, a land of the dead that apparently operates on reincarnation instead of the heaven-and-hell formula and hundreds of other things that are sure as hell not part of the lore, and yet people still pick on this one idiotic point about the horsemen's name like it was some huuuuuge deviation. Just get your priorities straight, people. -.-

This is a big deal. You either don't bother borrowing ideas, or don't do it half-arsed way, like pointed in ZP. Trust me, if they make Darksiders 3 and the star is "Strife" suddenly sales are a whole lot lower.

You apparently still don't get my point: They are not borrowing ideas as much as taking the basic framework and reimagining the entire thing. Yes, in the Bible there are no horseman called Fury and Strife, but guess what, in the Bible the horseman are not nephilim, they are all male, they are not superpowered agents of the Charred Council, their job is not upholding the "Balance" and they are actually not even people but more like disasters and concepts. So, again, Darksiders' horsemen are different from the Bible's horsemen to the point that the only similarity is that there are four of them and they have horses, yet all you complain about how their names are changed and how that's somehow "half-assing" it...? Am I missing a logical step here or is this really as silly as it sounds?

Considering all the rehashes, rewriting and translations the bible has gone through I wouldn't be surprised if the original horsemen were called Fluffy, Tiddles, Bubble and Squeak. Not really a big issue there.

You have to admit that playing a video game as the anthropomorphic personification of famine or pestilence would have, at the most generous, niche appeal. On the other hand, probably not this, but another game could be quite entertaining if you were tasked with playing as middle-management of death.

The Critic:

Therumancer:

FantomOmega:

I feel The Warp overtaking me, it is a Good Pain

Tha could also just you being over enthusiastic with a morphine drip. :)

That said I think Yahtzee's criticism of 40k is fair given the eyes he views it through... those of a video game critic. To be honest video games never seem to have touched upon much besides extremely violent clashes of troops involving groups like Space Marines and Imperial Guard pretty much "on the clock" all the time. To really dig into what's going on behind Warhammer 40k you need to look at things like "Rogue Trader", "Inquisitor" or various novels, and to be honest that is all secondary material behind the minatures game (which is all combat) and the video games that are largely out to duplicate the minatures game and of course be deliberatly mindless hack and slash.

From the perspective of your average Space Marine, what the forces of chaos represent and how they differ doesn't much matter. To really explore that in a heroic context you'd need to see it from the perspective of an Inqusitor from the Ordo Malleus who is allowed that kind of information to aid against fighting against them. The forced ignorance of Warhammer 40k is an interesting concept, but it makes experiencing the world through most characters dfficult, most of the lore behind Space Marines and such involving exposition in codexes and the like which has no real bearing on anything other than to maybe explain some minor bonus.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Yahtzee might change his tone on 40K by a little bit if someone would make a good Ciaphas Cain videogame. Seems like the kind of thing he might like.

Come to think of it, that game would be rather cool. It'd be a bit like Mass Effect, except that all the dialogue options wouldn't be "Idealistic/Good/Paragon vs. Pragmatic/Bad/Renegade"; but rather they'd be "Order Jurgen to do something", "take the piss out of someone/thing with a good snark", "Cover Ass", or "Lie Ass off". The combat portions would consist of hiding behind cover until the scary noises stop.

Well, Ciphas Cain only really works if you already have a considerable knowlege of Warhammer 40k knowlege, otherwise your not going to really get a lot of the satire or why some of it is funny. Also to be entirely fair, despite how it acts Cain has all the actual abillities to be a proper 40k Imperial Guard hero, he just doesn't choose to act that way. Over the course of the stories they have mentioned that he has talents like a peerless sense of direction, and happens to be a masterful chainsword fighter, having gone head to head with a Chaos Marine (until Jurgan shot it if I remember) for a while. He's also got some pretty crazy allies which justify his survival.

Yahtzee wouldn't really "get" all of that given his complete lack of knowlege on the subject, only being familiar with Space Marine stuff. To sort of "get" Cain I think you'd need to at least have to have read the Gaunt's Ghosts series (or some of it) to see how the hero-commisar is supposed to function by default, before you can really understand how truely Borked Cain is, it goes a little beyond general military parody (though I suppose it can be appreciated to some extent on that level, which would be missing a lot of the specifics that make Cain the fan favorite it is).

Hey, I live on the Isle of Wight.

Come at me bro!

Sober Thal:
Aww hell, I be being bad 4 postin this shit, me thinks. If I offend you, want to say sorries right now, and I want no bad feelings at you. Just roll with it, eh?

I added that comment to a list called "faith_in_humanity.exe has stopped working". You're the first person outside of youtube to make the list. Hope you feel proud.

I would still like to see him play Magicka since it is one of the few cheap yet incredibly fun games that I've ever played. Plus it can be played with some mates which will create hours of fun including revenge, gore, and at the end of the day make you hate friendly-fire. Just my thoughts.

thankyou, was a bit worried about not wanting to play this game. all my fears have been allayed.

I never cared for Darksiders 1, I saw reviews and lets plays. But I just thought meh screw I dont like it all. I bought Darksiders 2 because I thought being able to play death sounds cool.
And I am really pleasantly suprised by Darksiders 2.

I like the dungeon crawling parts I like the little platforming bits. At first I thought oh god I think I just bought another pile of kaka. But I am really liking the game personally. Of course its has its flaws.

But I noticed I really liked this game when I thought: "lets play some darksiders 2" I started at 22:00. And when I checked the time again it was already 03:30. And this happens all the time, I think I will play for an hour or two but I keep ending up playing it 4 or 5 hours.

I think Yahtzee should review Tomba next time he makes a review of a classic game

Fractal padding, Calista Flockhart eating disorder jokes, AND thalidomide babies? Oh Meester Ambasseedor, 'ow you are spoileeng us - funniest video in a long time.

DVS BSTrD:
Can't spell Ben Yahtzee Croshaw without Cros :P
And Fractal Pading?
More like "Frak! Dull Padding" AmIright?

Yes, you are correct, sir! This game looks as designed-by-committee-of-1990's-comic-book-artists as the 1st one. There's no mirth or levity to be found.

I will never look at the word horseman the same way again

Falseprophet:

TheFederation:
i'm disappointed to hear about the other two horsemen, i would really look forward to playing a game as famine or pestulence, it would be interesting at least.

I think the time delay on those guys' kills wouldn't have satisfied the average twitch-happy gamer:

FAMINE: I've burned your crops and salted the earth and a few months from now when your grain stores run out, you'll slowly die of starvation! Bwa-ha-ha!

Eh, yeah but for those horseman they could've still had them act hacky and slashy just with other magical powers that complimented their title.

Like pestilence could've given debuffs to the enemy, make them weaker, slower. Or infest them with some sort of disease that makes them break out in boils and explode damaging other enemies nearby.

Famine, hmmn, could've had a similar mechanic. Make the opponents starved, weaker.

One could work with it pretty easily I think. It would've been no worse in terms of liberties than simply renaming the characters as they have done.

This is Yahtzee's 2nd video in a row ripping on comics from the '90's. Has he been hanging around MovieBob lately?

I still don't understand why the original is called a Zelda clone. It plays and feels nothing like a Zelda game with barely a puzzle in sight. It has far more in common with Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver.

20 hours is a long game? AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHA! AHAHA! HA ha haaaa....

Oh wait your were serious? BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mronoc:
The Holy Bible, illustrated by Rob Liefield

You take that back! Liefield is so bad you arent even allowed to joke about it, hes currently in the process of completely ruining the deathstroke reboot - it was so awesome and now... and now *sob* *sob*

Joe Mad is so much better att illustrations

"It's not Famin and Pestilence, it's Strife and whatever"

Oh brother don't remind me. I posted a youtube comment on a Darksiders II trailer like, six months ago wondering how they would do Famin and I'm STILL getting snotty replies from people that think they are the first to point it out.

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