Escape to the Movies: Branded

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I think it was at this year's Magfest where Linkara got a bunch of TGWTG producers to riff on Southland Tales. Wouldn't it be cool if they followed up on that by reviewing this movie?

Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

Ashoten:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

How is shoveling food in your face not your own fault? I used to be pretty huge (almost 300 pounds) and had nobody to blame but myself. I ate as a coping mechanism for stress and depression but it just made me feel even shittier so guess what I did? ATE MORE. That's all my fault and I'm glad I realized it before it was too late.

Sounds like the plot for fat slags

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382028/

I'm a bit puzzled by the FAM, fatness in a no longer quite thin enough to be fashionable is different from help I can't walk or leave my house anymore.

Bad film is bad it forces you to regress personality wise.

Would it kill film makers to attend a few economics classes because I am sick of these kinds of plots. You do not make money like this!

You know Bob's angry when the accent starts to slip.

Somehow this movie sounds like a pretty interesting premise. Hard to really pick a particularly unfavorable market driven demographic without angering someone, though. Fat people, smokers, maybe some future legal drug. And the whole......parasitic influencing aliens that may or may not exist thing sounds pretty cool in theory. Alas when crap is churned out from an interesting concept.

DugMachine:

Ashoten:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

How is shoveling food in your face not your own fault? I used to be pretty huge (almost 300 pounds) and had nobody to blame but myself. I ate as a coping mechanism for stress and depression but it just made me feel even shittier so guess what I did? ATE MORE. That's all my fault and I'm glad I realized it before it was too late.

Well I am glad it worked out for you. I have had similar experience but it sure didn't help being made fun of at school. So of course I ate to feel better and cope with stress because I was fat. No one is persuaded to change by badgering or bullying and it sounds like this movie does exactly that. Of course the person still makes the decision to shove food in their face. My point is that industrial age farming has allowed for a normal and healthy mechanism of survival to work against you. Starvation use to be a number one cause of death in the old world.

Ashoten:

Well I am glad it worked out for you. I have had similar experience but it sure didn't help being made fun of at school. So of course I ate to feel better and cope with stress because I was fat. No one is persuaded to change by badgering or bullying and it sounds like this movie does exactly that. Of course the person still makes the decision to shove food in their face. My point is that industrial age farming has allowed for a normal and healthy mechanism of survival to work against you. Starvation use to be a number one cause of death in the old world.

I understand that the bullying should stop. No matter what the issue is bullying is just wrong whether you're gay, a different race or overweight. This movie could be doing exactly what Bob said or it could just be him being biased because it seems like it's making fun of fat people (i'm going with the former).

And while being fat may be a survival mechanism it's not something modern humans (at least in first world countries) need to survive anymore.

I want to see this so bad that it hurts, and it's not playing anywhere near me? Damn it! This makes me so sad. T_T

Captcha: be careful. Aw it cares.

Ashoten:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

Yes, being fat is your fault. It's not only your fault, but living in a post-indsutrial society does not absolve you from the fact that you're using your body the wrong way. Not only is it evident that your physical activity is pitiful, it's also showing that you have little criteria in what you ingest. You don't need to eat out everytime. Cook at home and take lunch to work it there's no healthy place near you. Oh, it takes time and effort? Well, it's better that time and effort than the persitent damage your organs and bones are suffering from being forced through overweight. Also, if you're going to throw out the biological argument for fat storage, you can't just forget your body was also made to move. I'm not saying anyone should try to look like models, with zero fat deposits (and all their metabolic disorders that carries), but it is everyone's duty -yes, I use that word, duty- to keep their own body within healthy boundries of weight. If you are now overweight, my question always is: why didn't you stop before you got to this point? If you're here, being complacent with your obesity and asking everyone to not offend your sensibilities won't bring you back to a healthy body. If I sound callous, so be it. More often than not, it's poor habits and terrible discipline and education that make people obese, not some genetic disorder that couldn't be avoided.

Soooo... I agree with the sentiment that this film is putting out there... but it could have been handled better (less bullying and "meanness"). I was excited for this film... now I'm not.

And this reminds me... Walle (remember that Pixar film?) makes a comment on how if people are allowed, they develop into oblivious, obese, lazy sacks of uselessness.

Just saying... Where's the criticism towards Pixar?

Sigh. On the one hand I wanted to see a review of Resident Evil: Whatever, but on the other hand I'm glad to see that I'm not the only person who had to suffer through this garbage.

How hard is it for a filmmaker to just make a stupid movie about tentacley embodied advertisements sucking the life out of consumers with some anonymous douche shooting them with a sawed off shotgun and spitting out ridiculous one-liners? THAT was the movie I wanted Branded to be, and instead it absolutely refused to be any fun at all.

I could sense Moviebob's Boston accent at the beginning, must mean he's pissed... Also, I like what he said about the word "pretentious", because really, it's true about the way it's been used lately. But seriously, after watching the review, I have to say, the premise is so dumb-foundingly stupid I'm surprised that it got made the way MovieBob's describing it. Seriously, fat people part of the corporate conspiracy? Give me a fucking break!

MB202:
I could sense Moviebob's Boston accent at the beginning, must mean he's pissed... Also, I like what he said about the word "pretentious", because really, it's true about the way it's been used lately. But seriously, after watching the review, I have to say, the premise is so dumb-foundingly stupid I'm surprised that it got made the way MovieBob's describing it. Seriously, fat people part of the corporate conspiracy? Give me a fucking break!

Yep, Bob's Boston accent really comes out when he doesn't like something at all. Odd, ain't it?

OT: I actually had only heard about this movie because of this review. Guess I won't watch it then. Not like I was going to already.

shiajun:

Ashoten:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

Yes, being fat is your fault. It's not only your fault, but living in a post-indsutrial society does not absolve you from the fact that you're using your body the wrong way. Not only is it evident that your physical activity is pitiful, it's also showing that you have little criteria in what you ingest. You don't need to eat out everytime. Cook at home and take lunch to work it there's no healthy place near you. Oh, it takes time and effort? Well, it's better that time and effort than the persitent damage your organs and bones are suffering from being forced through overweight. Also, if you're going to throw out the biological argument for fat storage, you can't just forget your body was also made to move. I'm not saying anyone should try to look like models, with zero fat deposits (and all their metabolic disorders that carries), but it is everyone's duty -yes, I use that word, duty- to keep their own body within healthy boundries of weight. If you are now overweight, my question always is: why didn't you stop before you got to this point? If you're here, being complacent with your obesity and asking everyone to not offend your sensibilities won't bring you back to a healthy body. If I sound callous, so be it. More often than not, it's poor habits and terrible discipline and education that make people obese, not some genetic disorder that couldn't be avoided.

Well put (if not a little callous). I would like to add, though, that we focus too much on the aspect of weight. If we focused more on eating in a way that promotes solid, well rounded health, most people wouldn't even have to think about loosing weight. They would just naturally be where their body is meant to be (some bigger, some smaller... but almost never OBESE).

I understand that the worst food for you, is often the cheapest, easiest, and tastiest. It's ENGINEERED that way (just like how poisonous cigarettes are designed to keep you coming). In that way, I think this movie is right on with the dark side of consumerism, capitalism, and corporations. But we can choose to say "Hey... I like myself enough to not feel like shit later." Or... "Would I feed my child this food? No??? Then why am I eating this???"

Some compassion and understanding for our overweight neighbors will go a long way. Support can show people that they are worth taking care of. We need to inspire. Not criticize.

Oh gods, now I can't stop trying to come up with other names for Fatpocalypse!
Lardageddon!
Fatastrophe!
Apocobyse!

Somebody please help me! The puns are so terrible!

Jeffrey Tambor is too closely linked in my mind to George Bluth, anything he's in automatically brings a smile to my face.

Hey nobody get down on the cow sacrifice! It's in the best movies as often as it's in the worst.

You know, socially accepting or not accepting fat people doesn't make me want a hamburger any more or less.

Bathing in cow blood WHAT?

DugMachine:

Ashoten:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

How is shoveling food in your face not your own fault? I used to be pretty huge (almost 300 pounds) and had nobody to blame but myself. I ate as a coping mechanism for stress and depression but it just made me feel even shittier so guess what I did? ATE MORE. That's all my fault and I'm glad I realized it before it was too late.

One must remember that a small percentage of fat people have glandular or other issues that tend to make them larger with almost no input on their part. For most it's a lack of exercise, and for the rest it's overeating. And THEN not exercising enough to counteract it.

Furrama:

One must remember that a small percentage of fat people have glandular or other issues that tend to make them larger with almost no input on their part. For most it's a lack of exercise, and for the rest it's overeating. And THEN not exercising enough to counteract it.

Even some glandular (not all) problems can be fought against though. One of my ex girlfriends had the problem and struggled with the weight all the time but if you're committed you can stave off most of the weight. Exercise and careful diet can maintain a decent size even with glandular issues.

Thanks for the warning

Have you gotten 1,000,000 coins yet Bob?

a framed first issue of NP on your wall?

approved Bob, its a classy move

That's NOT how you pronounce Max von Sydow's name. It's more like "Sydoff". Yes, that's what I got stuck on >_>

OT: Yeah, not terribly interested to see this film. This is most likely my prejudice talking, but it does not surprise me that a Russian movie is portraying fat people as the worst thing evah.

Yikes. Movie Bob coming over the horizon like B-29s out of Tinian. Bombed any desire I had to see this movie into oblivion. Thanks buddy. I appreciate you saving me the price of a ticket!

YES!!! The accent returns with a vengeance! I can't believe I was initially intrugued by branded's trailers, making it look like aliens were using marketing and advertising as cover for an invasion. For shame, makers of Branded, for your deceptive marketing and advertising!

SHAME!!!

Oh, wait...

Godamnit Max, you're far better than this.

That was such a fun review to watch :D Just the levels of stupid in the film ...

This makes me yearn for the far-off future days when commenting on postmodern consumerism will be considered so one-note and part of any Sociology 101 class that no self-respecting filmmaker will even think to touch that subject with a ten-foot pole.

On the flipside, the whole premise feels a bit like the screenwriter's going "Shame on you, American pigs! Look at what you do to glorious Mother Russia! Vladimir Putin does not eat at McDonald's!"

That's, well, kinda bad. Kinda.

DVS BSTrD:
Pretentious with pointless overwrought CGI imagery and popular ironically? Too bad it doesn't have scantily clad chicks fighting giant robot samurai.
-_-

Perhaps someone will come out with a "Why Bob is wrong about Branded" in two needless parts. Honestly i don't see how he can see 'deeper' meaning in that precious pile of fail and yet still write off this one with a straight face.

Branded probably sucks many, many bags of dicks. It just hurts Bob's reputation when he picks a two-part battle and wages a war against everyone's opinion on behalf of a movie that also sucks many bags of dicks.

I don't know whether fat is sexy or not, but I think I'd like to get to know that burger better.

Oh hey, I asked about this last week. Awesome.

well doesnt that just suck, from what little ive seen of the trailer I was hoping this was going to be a movie about augmented reality but instead of a cool concept we get a crazy person

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