Escape to the Movies: Branded

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Actually, The Stuff isn't nearly as good as it sounds... it's kinda a ripoff of The Blob and Invasion of The Body Snatchers; though I have to admit that it's one of those "it's so cheesy it's funny" kind of movie.

As for the movie Branded, sounds like a decent premise gone seriously wrong, I'll stay away from it.

GamemasterAnthony:
Wow! This movie was so bad it caused Bob's accent to return!

Crap...and I was kind of hoping the advertisements WERE some kind of alien infestation. It would definitely have explained quite a few things.

Yeah, but if they did that they'd be straight up ripping off They Live.

"I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum."

Saw the trailer and thought "yeah that is 'They Live'"

Well, guess what I'm NOT seeing anytime soon? I imagine that if I saw this, I'd get pretty pissed off (even if I wasn't slightly chubby), about it ragging on the "fat-acceptance movement." I know that, most of the time, it's poor diet and lack of exercie that is to blame for being overweight, but god-damn it, would just a LITTLE compassion kill some people?! SERIOUSLY?!

Regardless of all that has been said in the review, I'm still confused over what is going on with the monstrous automaton-like entities in the trailer. Given the description here, either the makers don't realize the existence or quality of They Live.

It's so bad that Bob had to break this down like we are in Boston? Well shit. New rule for me, when the accent is out, there is no doubt.

Was really hoping you'd get to the new Resident Evil flick.

At least I had a small microscopic interest in that movie.

So No Resident Evil review instead we get a review of a Limited Release that came out last week ok.

But I really like Max von Sydow in my movies =( Maybe I'll watch it anyway. Gotta watch Needful Things again, Von Sydow is wonderful as Leland Gaunt (and also looks Hauntingly similar to old-snake from Metal Gear Solid 4 in that movie).

I had the trailer for Branded shoved in my face by a smug hard-left hipster who got pissy when I told him it looked awful. I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

That sounded interesting actually. Gonna have to check it out.

Just heard about this film right now and while movie bob writes it off, and probably rightly, the review makes me want to watch it...

Sounds like a great movie to miss...
And I almost laughed out loud (not the right time to laugh..) about your pronunciation of "Max von Sydow" hehe way to much "i" in "sy" (it's non existing in Swedish...) But makes his name way funnier/cooler :)

And considering how much junk gets out I wonder how the companies still dare finance any movie... And/or bot out through much better ones.... O well I don't know anything about that I just like good movies...

There is nothing good about this film?

NOTHING?

Well, I didn't expect it to be "good," I was thinking it was going to be a blatant and heavy handed attack on capitalism, but it is also saying fat people are the "tools of corperations because Jesus sees horrible CGI blob things eating you?"

There are many heavy handed films, very few are outright insulting ones, fewer still don't make sense.

He got super marketing powers from lighting, had a dream that told him to burn a cow (and we didn't even see it?), trying to pass off "chubby is good" even though we have known for at least a century that it ISN'T and information countering that notion is found everywhere?

Why greenlit this thing?

DVS BSTrD:
Pretentious with pointless overwrought CGI imagery and popular ironically? Too bad it doesn't have scantily clad chicks fighting giant robot samurai.
-_-

I salute you.

Man. That sounds like a horrible movie. Good thing I'd not heard of it up until this review.

Hopefully he'll review "The Master" as a palette cleanser after watching this dreck. PTA heals all wounds.

Why do I get the feeling that the negative depiction of over weight people hit home for a certain someone? ;D

I agree with the message of this film as explained by bob. To be a bit chubby or thick bodied is one thing, to be a corpulent walking maggot that greedily devours junk food by the bucket-load is another. Involved in a daily questing to fast food places to eat more and more and grow larger and larger over years, this is not right, this is a diminished form of the human condition. Many are far too fat, unhealthily so, and their motivations centre around eating. For many of us, we eat far too much for what we do--which so often involves eating more fat-laden fast food.

We have been fooled into eating more, the size of junk food has increased in recent years and this has been quite deliberate. The wages of gorging has been the fattening of the populace.

Helmholtz Watson:
Why do I get the feeling that the negative depiction of over weight people hit home for a certain someone? ;D

Quite quite, lol. I grew up a fat kid but I can remain objective about this and consider, the fatocalypse. Bob isn't comfortable with a critique of fast food taken into parasitism and moralising territory in the manner of branded (but for some reason, he liked The Stuff).

SnakeoilSage:
I had the trailer for Branded shoved in my face by a smug hard-left hipster who got pissy when I told him it looked awful. I'm glad I wasn't the only one.

Films that make critics uncomfortable are a fantastic spectacle. Or at least the review is.

But Bob... it's as they say "Idle lard is the Devil's plaything".

The way Bob described the movie: Instantly I know how to make this movie 3x better without even having heard of it until just 10 minutes ago. Branded's premise, a man seeing advertisement as parasites and monsters that control people, is played straight; when really, seeing demons of anything that no-one else can see marks you as a crazy person.

And the film should've been played as that: the twist being really that the movie has been about a fat-hating crazy person the whole time and the billboards are the same as ever. Driven insane by whatever had driven him insane in the first place... as a nice reversal of a twist.

Edit: Then they could point out, guilt-free, how ugly they think fat people are because that's not how THEY think... but rather the protagonist... and that TOTALLY would've worked.

It sure would have.

Protip: if you want a trippy Russian film criticizing modern advertising, and don't mind subtitles, watch Generation P.

I'm disappointed.
I was hoping this would be a metaphorical movie about how corporations control everyone's lives, supported by a few facts here and there like a "dramatic documentary" if that makes any sense.
I'm pretty bummed to hear that all it's saying is "fat people suck."

The movie's poster wants to be Inception so hard it's unintentionally funny.

Pebkio:
But Bob... it's as they say "Idle lard is the Devil's plaything".

The way Bob described the movie: Instantly I know how to make this movie 3x better without even having heard of it until just 10 minutes ago. Branded's premise, a man seeing advertisement as parasites and monsters that control people, is played straight; when really, seeing demons of anything that no-one else can see marks you as a crazy person.

And the film should've been played as that: the twist being really that the movie has been about a fat-hating crazy person the whole time and the billboards are the same as ever. Driven insane by whatever had driven him insane in the first place... as a nice reversal of a twist.

Edit: Then they could point out, guilt-free, how ugly they think fat people are because that's not how THEY think... but rather the protagonist... and that TOTALLY would've worked.

You should make satire. For real, that's a clever idea.

Abandon4093:

DVS BSTrD:
Pretentious with pointless overwrought CGI imagery and popular ironically? Too bad it doesn't have scantily clad chicks fighting giant robot samurai.
-_-

ZING!

Haha, I was waiting for someone to say that.

OT: Fatpocolypse does sound like an incredible premise for a film.... Just putting that out there.

Sounds like the title of a Michael Moore peice.

DVS BSTrD:
Pretentious with pointless overwrought CGI imagery and popular ironically? Too bad it doesn't have scantily clad chicks fighting giant robot samurai.
-_-

Well played and spot on.

Holy shit! You know Bob is pissed when his Brooklyn accent breaks out.

So if I've got the jist of it, this is Atlas Shrugged backwards.

Evil advertising companies brain washing the populace to believe it's ok to be overweight? I have to admit it takes real balls to be that kind of insane asshole.

Yeah... this actually did sound kind of interesting when MovieBob first described it. Then he started talking about monologues and all interest I had in the movie plummeted in a second. I had to deal with way too much of that already in the "Dark Knight Rises".

Smertnik:

LoathsomePete:
Never even heard of this movie until now, but the videos Bob played throughout reminded me of another Russian movie, Nightwatch which sounded like a neat premise, but the execution was just a cavalcade of "how much acid do I need to take for this to start being good?" I definitely dislike it when people mishandle easy concepts like this, but considering how my town sucks so much we don't even get The Master, I doubt we'll be getting this any time soon.

Yeah, Nightwatch sucked pretty bad. The book series it's based on is awesome, though, although I don't know how well it's translated (or if at all).

What. Nightwatch was neat. I liked it. :)

That's a damn shame.

When I saw the trailers, I thought it was going to be something completely different. Something more akin to The Matrix.

This was the first movie I'd actually been interested in all year.

Revolutionaryloser:
Holy shit! You know Bob is pissed when his Brooklyn accent breaks out.

Boston. It's a Bostonian accent.

And yes, it emerges when he gets annoyed, as he said pretty much outright in this very early appearance in The Escapist Presents.

ewhac:

Revolutionaryloser:
Holy shit! You know Bob is pissed when his Brooklyn accent breaks out.

Boston. It's a Bostonian accent.

And yes, it emerges when he gets annoyed, as he said pretty much outright in this very early appearance in The Escapist Presents.

Yeah. It kind of sounds like Joey Wheeler, so I get confused. I'd pay for Bob to shout out "BOSTON RAGE!"

Haha, in Soviet Russia, movies review you!

No, seriously. I'm gonna watch this. By this critique, I really can't tell if the movie is totally Russian (it seems it is) or trying to be Hollywood style and failing (which would be bad).

If it's totally Russian and not trying to be anything else, you Americans won't get it.

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