Escape to the Movies: Branded

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How ironic is it that a movie which is all about evil advertisements has an incredibly dishonest ad campaign?

According to the Spill Crew, Cosmopolis was, in fact, unbelievably pretentious:
http://www.spill.com/Audio/AudioPost.aspx?audioId=1278

I would very much like to see Bob talk about Cosmopolis; more specifically, about the criticisms against it, such as this review.

Also:

OlasDAlmighty:

DVS BSTrD:
Pretentious with pointless overwrought CGI imagery and popular ironically? Too bad it doesn't have scantily clad chicks fighting giant robot samurai.
-_-

A lot of words could be used to describe Suckerpunch, but I don't see "pretentious" being one of them.

A lot of people would beg to differ on that one. The Spill Crew is actually among them ...

shiajun:

Ashoten:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

Yes, being fat is your fault. It's not only your fault, but living in a post-indsutrial society does not absolve you from the fact that you're using your body the wrong way. Not only is it evident that your physical activity is pitiful, it's also showing that you have little criteria in what you ingest. You don't need to eat out everytime. Cook at home and take lunch to work it there's no healthy place near you. Oh, it takes time and effort? Well, it's better that time and effort than the persitent damage your organs and bones are suffering from being forced through overweight. Also, if you're going to throw out the biological argument for fat storage, you can't just forget your body was also made to move. I'm not saying anyone should try to look like models, with zero fat deposits (and all their metabolic disorders that carries), but it is everyone's duty -yes, I use that word, duty- to keep their own body within healthy boundries of weight. If you are now overweight, my question always is: why didn't you stop before you got to this point? If you're here, being complacent with your obesity and asking everyone to not offend your sensibilities won't bring you back to a healthy body. If I sound callous, so be it. More often than not, it's poor habits and terrible discipline and education that make people obese, not some genetic disorder that couldn't be avoided.

That sound just like some anti-gay speech. What business is it of yours how I use my body? If eating makes me feel better then I am entitled to that. There is no right way or perfect way to live for everyone. 2 individuals with the same eating habits and same activity can have drastically different weights. The cause of this CAN be linked to genetics. What is fine for one is not fine for another. I am active and I like to eat so I am overweight despite my activity. Every time I have lost significant weight it was only through intense training and dietary restrictions. It is hard to keep that kind of life style up indefinitely. Additionally I have joint pains and irritable bowl disease just to make things more challenging I guess. So I end up needing to eat lots of fatty protein and processed food that don't upset my digestion. I get intense steroid treatments for my bowl disease which also make me hungry all the time.

Don't Judge me bro

Y'know that's what they want, right? Your resentment, I mean. they want you to waste hours of your life and chunks of your emotional spectrum on their garbage. As soon as you have, they've won. This movie's intent is similar to what internet people call "trolling" only on a larger scale.

Ashoten:

shiajun:

Ashoten:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.

Yes, being fat is your fault. It's not only your fault, but living in a post-indsutrial society does not absolve you from the fact that you're using your body the wrong way. Not only is it evident that your physical activity is pitiful, it's also showing that you have little criteria in what you ingest. You don't need to eat out everytime. Cook at home and take lunch to work it there's no healthy place near you. Oh, it takes time and effort? Well, it's better that time and effort than the persitent damage your organs and bones are suffering from being forced through overweight. Also, if you're going to throw out the biological argument for fat storage, you can't just forget your body was also made to move. I'm not saying anyone should try to look like models, with zero fat deposits (and all their metabolic disorders that carries), but it is everyone's duty -yes, I use that word, duty- to keep their own body within healthy boundries of weight. If you are now overweight, my question always is: why didn't you stop before you got to this point? If you're here, being complacent with your obesity and asking everyone to not offend your sensibilities won't bring you back to a healthy body. If I sound callous, so be it. More often than not, it's poor habits and terrible discipline and education that make people obese, not some genetic disorder that couldn't be avoided.

That sound just like some anti-gay speech. What business is it of yours how I use my body? If eating makes me feel better then I am entitled to that. There is no right way or perfect way to live for everyone. 2 individuals with the same eating habits and same activity can have drastically different weights. The cause of this CAN be linked to genetics. What is fine for one is not fine for another. I am active and I like to eat so I am overweight despite my activity. Every time I have lost significant weight it was only through intense training and dietary restrictions. It is hard to keep that kind of life style up indefinitely. Additionally I have joint pains and irritable bowl disease just to make things more challenging I guess. So I end up needing to eat lots of fatty protein and processed food that don't upset my digestion. I get intense steroid treatments for my bowl disease which also make me hungry all the time.

Don't Judge me bro

You can use your body however you want, but when people go and promote "fat acceptance", I get a bit irked. It's promoting an early death. If they want to be unhealthy (and I am talking fat here, not chubby or having a gut, but fat), that's fine, but don't promote it, because it's unhealthy.

Looking at the trailer I called bullshit on this

Realitycrash:
You can use your body however you want, but when people go and promote "fat acceptance", I get a bit irked. It's promoting an early death. If they want to be unhealthy (and I am talking fat here, not chubby or having a gut, but fat), that's fine, but don't promote it, because it's unhealthy.

As a fatass myself, I feel inclined to comment. I'm not part of any "fat acceptance" movements, but I think I'd be qualified to say that you're conflating the idea of "fat acceptance" (that is, not being a dick to fatties) with the concept of encouraging people to be fat. I don't think any sane man would opt to be fat when if he were able to easily select his physique. Being fat is usually a fairly lucid choice people make; I'm aware I'm more likely to die of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc., and I've never met another overweight person who claimed otherwise. People have chosen to live a certain way, aware of the opportunity cost of their fitness and life expectancy. What fat asses like myself don't need or want is the media constantly shoving in our faces how unhealthy, unattractive, and how hedonistic we are, people constantly approaching me to say how bad for me my existence is, and the health Nazis who constantly push for taxing me for my existence or trying to force a change to my diet or shit.

I get it. I'm unhealthy. I don't want to make anyone else fat, I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. Is that something so unacceptable?

MetalMagpie:

LoathsomePete:
Never even heard of this movie until now, but the videos Bob played throughout reminded me of another Russian movie, Nightwatch which sounded like a neat premise, but the execution was just a cavalcade of "how much acid do I need to take for this to start being good?" I definitely dislike it when people mishandle easy concepts like this, but considering how my town sucks so much we don't even get The Master, I doubt we'll be getting this any time soon.

Nightwatch is (very loosely) based on a book of the same name by Sergei Lukyanenko. The book is actually pretty awesome (even translated into English) and well worth a read if you like urban fantasy with a gothic feel.

Oh I've read Nightwatch and Daywatch and I've come to the conclusion that Russian literature just isn't for me, unless it's Nikolai Gogol, that guy is badass... and Vladimir Nabokov.

Rabidkitten:
So why didn't you review the Master, which I assume most people are far more interested in?

Well the master didn't personally offend him as this film clearly did. This was not a review, it's a tantrum masquerading as a review. You're better than this bob

I've talked to people about "The Stuff" and nobody knew about "The Stuff", but you know about "The Stuff" and now I know I'm not alone.

Bob. I'm disappointed in you. Indeed this movie sounds terrible, but why on earth would you compare it to Southland Tales (it's one of my all-time favourites)? They sound nothing alike at all. What is so bad about Southland Tales?

Regarding obesity, it's your choice for how to live, how to look and how to die. But, please, oh please, don't apply your unhealthy behaviour upon your children. Tim Minchin said it best.

MacNille:
A movie so stupid that not even Max Von Sydow can save it!? Oh boy...

As awesome as Max Von Sydow is, he is well used to being stunt cast at this stage. (Judge Dredd, Conan etc.)

As terrible as this movie sounds I love bizarre Russian films and generally bad movies, I will certainly check this out some time in the future when my self esteem is low and I need to feel better about myself.

Rawberry101:
Hey nobody get down on the cow sacrifice! It's in the best movies as often as it's in the worst.

Furrama:
You know, socially accepting or not accepting fat people doesn't make me want a hamburger any more or less.

Bathing in cow blood WHAT?

These are the only two posts that bring this up.

Either people haven't seen this movie, or everyone else is just kinda mulling over this fact....

CosmicCommander:

Realitycrash:
You can use your body however you want, but when people go and promote "fat acceptance", I get a bit irked. It's promoting an early death. If they want to be unhealthy (and I am talking fat here, not chubby or having a gut, but fat), that's fine, but don't promote it, because it's unhealthy.

As a fatass myself, I feel inclined to comment. I'm not part of any "fat acceptance" movements, but I think I'd be qualified to say that you're conflating the idea of "fat acceptance" (that is, not being a dick to fatties) with the concept of encouraging people to be fat. I don't think any sane man would opt to be fat when if he were able to easily select his physique. Being fat is usually a fairly lucid choice people make; I'm aware I'm more likely to die of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc., and I've never met another overweight person who claimed otherwise. People have chosen to live a certain way, aware of the opportunity cost of their fitness and life expectancy. What fat asses like myself don't need or want is the media constantly shoving in our faces how unhealthy, unattractive, and how hedonistic we are, people constantly approaching me to say how bad for me my existence is, and the health Nazis who constantly push for taxing me for my existence or trying to force a change to my diet or shit.

I get it. I'm unhealthy. I don't want to make anyone else fat, I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. Is that something so unacceptable?

The common idea seems to be that if media do NOT do this, then acceptance will grow, and people will become fatter and more unhealthy.
I am unsure if this is entirely true or not. I think it could be done in far more tasteful ways, however.

Lionsfan:

Rawberry101:
Hey nobody get down on the cow sacrifice! It's in the best movies as often as it's in the worst.

Furrama:
You know, socially accepting or not accepting fat people doesn't make me want a hamburger any more or less.

Bathing in cow blood WHAT?

These are the only two posts that bring this up.

Either people haven't seen this movie, or everyone else is just kinda mulling over this fact....

It's an obvious satirical reference to the meat industry, and hamburgers in particular (since it's a big target in the movie). It isn't worth commenting on, so that's why.

CosmicCommander:
I don't think any sane man would opt to be fat when if he were able to easily select his physique. Being fat is usually a fairly lucid choice people make; I'm aware I'm more likely to die of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc., and I've never met another overweight person who claimed otherwise. What fat asses like myself don't need or want is the media constantly shoving in our faces how unhealthy, unattractive, and how hedonistic we are, people constantly approaching me to say how bad for me my existence is, and the health Nazis who constantly push for taxing me for my existence or trying to force a change to my diet or shit.

At first I wanted to flip this paragraph, substituting "overweight" with "IQ under 70" and "fat ass" with "idiot" to show resemblance between these two human parameters, but I couldn't make myself do it.

People have less control over their level of intellect and overall education, than they have over their weight. You are born into certain educational level - if your parents do not happen to have a certain level of income, you are SOL for life. And you can't just starve yourself to a high SAT score.

But hey, guess what: noone in their sane mind openly(!) advocates idiocy, or asks the media to "shut up about this whole education thing already", or make a "dumb-acceptance" movement. Such sentiments did exist a few centuries ago, when education was viewed as corrupting. But hey, maybe in just in few years we will see a Renaissance of dumb-acceptance movement.
There is nothing "inherent" or "universal" about society praising or shaming something. It is always the recent fad - we shame one thing and praise another, only to switch 180 degrees in under a century. But at no point in time people will ever be truly out other people's hair.

P.S. Regarding the whole "bullying will not help me get thinner" comment I've seen earlier - everybody understands that, and nobody cares. Bullying will not get a 300-pound guy to exercise, but it will instill enough dread into hundreds of 200 pound guys to go and buy jogging boots.
Shaming works like the state penitentiary system: the few are made an example off to guide the many.

This movie sounds a lot like "Generation P", the book (there's a movie, but I haven't seen it yet). Awfully alike... Someone's getting sued muehehe...

Sean Deli:

CosmicCommander:
I don't think any sane man would opt to be fat when if he were able to easily select his physique. Being fat is usually a fairly lucid choice people make; I'm aware I'm more likely to die of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc., and I've never met another overweight person who claimed otherwise. What fat asses like myself don't need or want is the media constantly shoving in our faces how unhealthy, unattractive, and how hedonistic we are, people constantly approaching me to say how bad for me my existence is, and the health Nazis who constantly push for taxing me for my existence or trying to force a change to my diet or shit.

At first I wanted to flip this paragraph, substituting "overweight" with "IQ under 70" and "fat ass" with "idiot" to show resemblance between these two human parameters, but I couldn't make myself do it.

People have less control over their level of intellect and overall education, than they have over their weight. You are born into certain educational level - if your parents do not happen to have a certain level of income, you are SOL for life. And you can't just starve yourself to a high SAT score.

But hey, guess what: noone in their sane mind openly(!) advocates idiocy, or asks the media to "shut up about this whole education thing already", or make a "dumb-acceptance" movement. Such sentiments did exist a few centuries ago, when education was viewed as corrupting. But hey, maybe in just in few years we will see a Renaissance of dumb-acceptance movement.
There is nothing "inherent" or "universal" about society praising or shaming something. It is always the recent fad - we shame one thing and praise another, only to switch 180 degrees in under a century. But at no point in time people will ever be truly out other people's hair.

P.S. Regarding the whole "bullying will not help me get thinner" comment I've seen earlier - everybody understands that, and nobody cares. Bullying will not get a 300-pound guy to exercise, but it will instill enough dread into hundreds of 200 pound guys to go and buy jogging boots.
Shaming works like the state penitentiary system: the few are made an example off to guide the many.

I'd reply to this, but I feel this post is one huge snide insinuation. I'm not going to report if because I don't know if it's intentionally offensive, but I'd ask you to select your words a bit more carefully in the future, chap.

Am I the only one who really wants to see this move after the review?

Whenever a critic takes a firm stand that something is great/sucks, I usually come up with some sort of theory to dissapprove that view, and rather look for the things that prove the critic wrong or biased.

That is impossible here. Nomatter your stance at obesity; kicking someone who is already down is disgusting. Seriously, point out one person who is happy being obese. No, not a person that has accepted his/her life situation. I mean a person that view his/her obesity as something good. No one?

So, these people, nomatter what you think about them, doesnt deserve a movie dedicated to making em feel even worse. Low freakin' blow.

This movie couldve had the most awesome fighting scenes ever (it apparently has the opposite), and it still wouldnt redeem it. Karma that the movie sucks in every way possible.

So, its an anti-corporate movie....that gets out via hollywood corporations....hollywood being more evil and manipulative than Monsanto.

I dont get anti-capitalism...i get anti-corpratism/commercialism....but anti-capitalism doesnt make sense to me, it isnt like communism where it caused the death of millions of people and open up to people right being stripped away.

also, i dont get the anti-fat sentiment. its one thing to promote good health...but being fat?
anyone get the idea that the makers may be supporters of a more....authoritarian policy....like i dont know...communism?

fuck i cant wait for red dawn....its about time we get a gun-ho red blooded MURRICAN movie with a bit of 80s cheese that doesnt involve mercenaries or jason bourne.

While I had not heard of Branded before this review I did see Southland tales. I sat there at the end in silence for a good ten minutes trying to conprehend what the heck I had just watched and just gave up.

I feel physically ill just watching this review

First it was the word rape, then it was sexism in games, now the threat of a fat-war looms overhead.

I truly hate this anally PC world... We have to be so careful about what we say all the time; making sure we don't upset anyone for any reason, even if those people are doing something incredibly stupid, hurting themselves or hurting others. I have no problem with the message this movie is trying to deliver, and I think it's silly to get bent of shape over that.

That said, it does look retarded and I have no interest in seeing it.

ExtraDebit:
There's nothing wrong with a movie saying fat is bad, because to be honest it is bad. For your body and for your health. This might be hard to swallow but intolerance is a powerful trend setter.

I grow up in the Caribbean and countries there mostly tuned into american TV with all its advertising. The results is a generation of youth afraid and feel shameful to wear anything but a nike, if you don't you'll be looked down upon and mocked. This may seems dumb and stupid, but the world if filled with stupid people. While this stupidity does nothing but fills the pocket of nike, intolerance of obesity can makes you strive to get thinner thus makes you healthier.

There's two side to every coin, there is no absolution in the world.

thinner =/= healthy.

thinner = thinner.

Look at the American model industry. They are incredibly thin yet they are plagued with eating disorders, plagued with unhealthy attitudes, starving, death, etc.

Fat isn't necessarily unhealthy, it depends on:

What you eat (even healthy food can be fattening).
Body type.
Height.
Genetics.
Hormones.
How much exercise you get.
etc.

Body fat means very little. I personally seen fat men who were able to pick up entire engine blocks, and even in their physicals they had no problem. The fat was merely aesthetic. No one cared. Yet women are bashed left and right for not looking like American models.

The main reason body shaming should stop is because more often than not its used to be sexist. Especially in media.

Realitycrash:

CosmicCommander:

Realitycrash:
You can use your body however you want, but when people go and promote "fat acceptance", I get a bit irked. It's promoting an early death. If they want to be unhealthy (and I am talking fat here, not chubby or having a gut, but fat), that's fine, but don't promote it, because it's unhealthy.

As a fatass myself, I feel inclined to comment. I'm not part of any "fat acceptance" movements, but I think I'd be qualified to say that you're conflating the idea of "fat acceptance" (that is, not being a dick to fatties) with the concept of encouraging people to be fat. I don't think any sane man would opt to be fat when if he were able to easily select his physique. Being fat is usually a fairly lucid choice people make; I'm aware I'm more likely to die of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc., and I've never met another overweight person who claimed otherwise. People have chosen to live a certain way, aware of the opportunity cost of their fitness and life expectancy. What fat asses like myself don't need or want is the media constantly shoving in our faces how unhealthy, unattractive, and how hedonistic we are, people constantly approaching me to say how bad for me my existence is, and the health Nazis who constantly push for taxing me for my existence or trying to force a change to my diet or shit.

I get it. I'm unhealthy. I don't want to make anyone else fat, I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. Is that something so unacceptable?

The common idea seems to be that if media do NOT do this, then acceptance will grow, and people will become fatter and more unhealthy.
I am unsure if this is entirely true or not. I think it could be done in far more tasteful ways, however.

I know it's not the same at all but I immediately thought of being gay, the same argument was trotted out and paraded around. Still is. If we accept gay people, more people will be gay and this is bad because gay is bad. Why? Because gay.
I know it's not the same. Still amused me though.

Bibliotek:
That is impossible here. Nomatter your stance at obesity; kicking someone who is already down is disgusting. Seriously, point out one person who is happy being obese. No, not a person that has accepted his/her life situation. I mean a person that view his/her obesity as something good. No one?

Beth Ditto maybe? I don't like the woman at all but I think she views her obesity as good. Not sure, may be that she's just super accepting of it.

My captcha is cheese fries. Relevance.

Hugga_Bear:

Realitycrash:

CosmicCommander:

As a fatass myself, I feel inclined to comment. I'm not part of any "fat acceptance" movements, but I think I'd be qualified to say that you're conflating the idea of "fat acceptance" (that is, not being a dick to fatties) with the concept of encouraging people to be fat. I don't think any sane man would opt to be fat when if he were able to easily select his physique. Being fat is usually a fairly lucid choice people make; I'm aware I'm more likely to die of cancer, heart disease, diabetes, etc., and I've never met another overweight person who claimed otherwise. People have chosen to live a certain way, aware of the opportunity cost of their fitness and life expectancy. What fat asses like myself don't need or want is the media constantly shoving in our faces how unhealthy, unattractive, and how hedonistic we are, people constantly approaching me to say how bad for me my existence is, and the health Nazis who constantly push for taxing me for my existence or trying to force a change to my diet or shit.

I get it. I'm unhealthy. I don't want to make anyone else fat, I just want everyone to shut the fuck up. Is that something so unacceptable?

The common idea seems to be that if media do NOT do this, then acceptance will grow, and people will become fatter and more unhealthy.
I am unsure if this is entirely true or not. I think it could be done in far more tasteful ways, however.

I know it's not the same at all but I immediately thought of being gay, the same argument was trotted out and paraded around. Still is. If we accept gay people, more people will be gay and this is bad because gay is bad. Why? Because gay.
I know it's not the same. Still amused me though.

You're right, it isn't the same, for being gay is neither unhealthy nor a choice for most people (unless you count repression, which I consider very unhealthy). I added "most people" because I am certain there are some that have managed to "pray the gay"-away without suffering from any repression side-effects, but I honestly think these were bi-sexual to begin with.
Obesity is, in very, very rare cases not a choice either, due to genetics or disease, and these people are also excused.

Duly noted, Bob.

So.... when are you doing Judge Dredd?

Captcha thing:

Rowboat.

What did you call me?

DVS BSTrD:
Pretentious with pointless overwrought CGI imagery and popular ironically? Too bad it doesn't have scantily clad chicks fighting giant robot samurai.
-_-

You failed, horribly. So damn horribly it's not even funny.

There's a difference between a justifiable satire of something with such subtly that you confuse it for the real thing and unjustifiable ham-fisted criticism of something that comes across as pretentious. In fact, the two are so absurdly dissimilar that comparisons between them don't even make any sense at all.

Bibliotek:
A lot of people would beg to differ on that one. The Spill Crew is actually among them ...

...Do they even know what pretentious means?

Caligulas.dog:
Am I the only one who really wants to see this move after the review?

Nope! I'm positively foaming at the mouth in anticipation of its DVD release, so I can finally complete my planned movie night.

Films To Be Viewed:
Vampire's Kiss
Branded
Birdemic
The Room
The Amazing Blob (if I can acquire a copy somehow...)

It will be LEGENDARY.

Great review - the Boston accent made a return for this episode at parts too!

Fatpocolypse aside, yeah this doesn't sound like my kind of film..

I liked Southland Tales but this looks awful

Hm, one should never hate oneself, but if you're really fat you shouldn't really embrace it, it's bad for your health, for your heart, and you probably should try and do something about it.
Unless of course you make your weight a part of yourself as a pop culture idol. Like Benny Hill. Or Jim Sterling.
Still probably bad for your health. It's also kinda ironic - the movie I mean - because there are not many fat people in Russia. It's interesting because in neighbor Ukraine obesity is much more common. One has to wonder if it's a cautionary tale for Russians to not end up like USA, where one has to wonder how to fight obesity.

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