LoadingReadyRun: A New Maiden

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newwiseman:
I've always wanted an Iron Maiden. To further the torture of victims the inside will be playing the live recordings of Iron Maiden.

Unless the victim is a fan, in which case you might just as well have filled it with plush animals.

DVS BSTrD:
I was really disappointed that Paul didn't turn out to be the cousin :(
You'd think it would be the quiet one who has something to hide, but I guess he's still at that Age of Innocence.

No, he was just on a Quest for Firing Tiny Italian coffee into his cups.

Don Reba:

newwiseman:
I've always wanted an Iron Maiden. To further the torture of victims the inside will be playing the live recordings of Iron Maiden.

Unless the victim is a fan, in which case you might just as well have filled it with plush animals.

No, I'm a fan of Iron Maiden. The live albums are torture. Everything sounds off key and the cheering of the crowd drowns out a few of the songs.

I sensed some of Graham's writing in this -- his "customer service" scripts seem to have a signature flow to them.

As for Maiden options, I'm surprised they had nothing made from titanium.

"We also offer the 'Donald' -- a one-of-a-kind Maiden fashioned of imported hardwoods and galvanized steel spikes, carved in an ornate baroque style, and then completely gilt inside and out."

"Sounds garish."

"It is. Extremely. Trump had it made for use on, "The Apprentice," but the network rejected it, so he's asked us to find a buyer for it."

Iron Maiden really went downhill after Live After Death.

Nice dress, Kathleen.

Is it just me, or was there was a slight bit of annoyance when she told him about the kitchen place?

I cracked up over the Hipster Maiden. The rest of it was pretty good, but I had to pause the video to finish laughing over the ironic torture device.

Falterfire:
Obviously there's a demand for iron maidens that double as espresso machines! After all, just because you don't have anybody you feel like eliminating right now doesn't mean you want a large chunk of useless metal sitting in your room.

Probably going to be the next optional add on for a DIY kit.

Great video.

I'd personally take the steel one, why would I ever want to move it?

Could we get badges for this?

"You have been awarded the Steel Maiden badge"

CardinalPiggles:
I'd personally take the steel one, why would I ever want to move it?

Andy did mention a maiden on a truck. Clearly, were he to install one in his, he would get much better mileage with the aluminum version. As Kathleen said, it is very convenient for the man on the go. Personally, I would be interested in one of those Japanese models.

thetruefallen:
I have to admit... when I read the title, I thought of the other type of "Maiden." You know, the type that is a woman... that has never had sex... I was like 20 seconds into the vidoe before I fighured it out. I need to quit drinking...

I thought that was going to be the stinger - 'You know, I'm looking for the other type of maiden...'

I thought I was so clever until I tried to play that scene in my head.

It wasn't so great.

The hipster maiden made me crack up. Andy so good. The whole LRR crew needs more recognition than it gets, they really are top-notch writers and performers.

What a great video! You guys are killing me!

Also, I just noticed Paul is wearing the same shirt on this video as in the last Feed Dump banner. Speculation on his poor hygiene, commence.

wastedyouth89:
Man, I wish you guys would make Andy a full time member. Every video with him is hilarious. Also, great stinger. Whole video wrapped up in three lines.

I'm fairly confident they would if they could. But Andy doesn't live in Victoria if I remember correctly and has a real job (pssh, weirdo). So it's not really a possibility from my understanding of the situation.

Okay, I'll admit, this was slow to start; but once it got rolling, it definitely got rolling.

"I'm gonna tell my cousin about this! He is fucked up!"

xD

And my week is made. Thank you, Escapist.

Oh my goodness, this sketch was pure brilliance. Although, how the hell could one mix up an iron maiden for an espresso machine?!

*GASP!*

Paul's boom duties weren't credited as Doom Booties! O_O

post scriptum: Brilliant video!

Not what I thought when I read the title

Hmm . . . I'm thinking, why not have both?

An iron maiden that shoots hot steam and coffee beans instead of spikes. Entertain and rejuvenate yourself before you start your day! Painfully tasty :D !

The straight-laced attitude of the whole thing was SO funny.

I love when LRR hits that "serious about the absurd" line. Reminds me wonderfully of Monty Python.

Loved all the versions of maidens available. Kind of wanted a joke maiden, one with spikes that are fake, and spring loaded. But they foresaw, and countered with the hipster maiden. Brilliant.

Never in all my years of enjoying Loading Ready Run has a single line just redeem an entire sketch. That "He's f**ked up!" line seriously makes the entire video click and makes the relatively drawn out conversation worth it. I mean there were some funny parts in the video, but it did drag on a bit long.

The hipster maden would be filled with shards of shattered pixies albums.

The little twist at the end made me laugh so hard but even up until that point, I was still chuckling darkly and enjoying the absurdity of imagining the maidens Kathleen was describing. This was a great skit.

Gentlemen, lady, that was a brilliant sketch worthy of The Frantics and other sketch legends. Easily one of my all-time favourites next to The Parrot Sketch and Boot to the Head. Bravo.

Every time a North American says "aluminum" instead of "aluminium" I cringe a bit

Interesting- that filming location seems to be a rough part of town. I'd forgotten BC had those.

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