Zero Punctuation: FIFA 13

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Roofstone:
Great fifa review. That part about the... The...

Crap, too tired to make a good joke.

...

Good video, I laughed. <3

Well then, I'll do it for you:

*clears throat*

"See, even people who LIVE in Soccer countries don't give a shyte about Soccer video games, much less EA."

Okay, done.

;-)

Absimilliard:
[oh dear]

Alright, who the hell thought it was a good idea to put a footnote feature on a message board?[1]

[1] Because it's totally going to be abused by anyone who like to put lots of parentheses in their posts but wants them to be cleaner.[2]
[2] Essentially, me.[3]
[3] Isn't that just grand?

erttheking:
That was confusing but fucking hilarious. So, taking bets here, is it going to be Dishonored or XCOM next week?

Considering his love for stealth-based games, my money's on Dishonored.

tekken tag tournament 2 is a tag game, it has tag on the name.....i guess he means person on person different strokes for different folks i guess, its really good though and it isn't really that many school girls, wait wait not familiar with the subject matter cant force my opinions on people if he dosent want emo kids with eye lasers and velociraptors punching kangaroos that is his choice.

anyways funny review, because "ea spots, you know what coming "

Next week, watch Yatzhee verbally destroy Resident Evil 6.

SirCannonFodder:

erttheking:
That was confusing but fucking hilarious. So, taking bets here, is it going to be Dishonored or XCOM next week?

Considering his love for stealth-based games, my money's on Dishonored.

I would rather see XCOM. Should he have played the original, then he clearly goes for that rather with Dishonored.
Or maybe he does both.
Tho next weeks VIDEO will be RE6 and the week after XCOM/Dishonored (as they came out this week. I always give him one week to play and one week to make the review-video)

And now all of a sudden I can't help but imagine that all protagonists in first person horror adventure titles look like Mr. Bean.

Thanks dick.

Wow.
Aside from Portal, FIFA has to have the least negative criticisms from Yahtzee so far.
Congratulations EA Sports! You must be flying high with this completely objective statistical analysis. Now go pat yourselves on the back while I play Minecraft or something.

Ah, but I'll admit it would have been amusing if he did review it.

That was a fantastic video. One of your best. *thumbs up*

I mean...what else can you really SAY about fifa 13? I don't blame you for winding up reviewing everything else BUT fifa 13. XD

Someone get Yahtzee some Ritalin, STAT!

Football players are "burly"? I had to listen to it 3 times to make sure it wasn't supposed to be girly as I had originaly heard.

"And speaking of sex crime, let's go back to professional football" had me laughing so much I had to rewind a bit to get what he said next. It's been a long time since a ZP had me do that, well done.

This is quite possibly the greatest review of any game ever. And sony finally put something out that made me want to buy one of their products. I wont after what they did to liksang https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liksang but it briefly did want to.

I think that's about spot on, still wondering what the hell just happened mind.

I feel like this review should have focused less on FIFA and should've reviewed completely different projects instead.

A big part of me was really hoping Yahtzee would somehow tackle Tokyo Jungle, but I figured if it got any mention at all he'd just do it on Twitter or Extra Punctuation or something.

So I'm pretty happy about this.

There's something hard to dislike about a game where you can play as a Piggie and start running away from a giant alligator suddenly chasing you through the streets of Tokyo.

And yeah, the game hates herbivores...plants don't seem to respawn, but there's never a shortage of delicious faces to munch on.

Yahtzee missed a trick. If he had done a proper review, he could just say FIFA (not the number) blah blah blah and link it every time a future Fifa game gets released essentially having a week-off every year.

Because what changes between games that cannot be summarised in one review?

Though this review was funnier.

Very funny stuff.
Too bad Dishonored is a bit late in Australia. He might have actually enjoyed playing that one.

I completely agree with everything this review said about FIFA 13, 'cept for that last part. Leather spheres going into nets is a dubiously good thing, at best. It all depends on the perspective.

CronoT:

Roofstone:
Great fifa review. That part about the... The...

Crap, too tired to make a good joke.

...

Good video, I laughed. <3

Well then, I'll do it for you:

*clears throat*

"See, even people who LIVE in Soccer countries don't give a shyte about Soccer video games, much less EA."

Okay, done.

;-)

That joke might be a lot funnier if it weren't completely wrong. FIFA is so far the highest selling game of the year, despite the fact that the biggest single videogame market in the world has little interest in it.

And to all the hilarious people saying "what else is their to say about a sports game?" Please be quiet. You could say the same thing about any genre "oh, no point reviewing FPS's it's all just shooting guys in the face, what else is their to say" "Why bother reviewing Starcraft 2? It's just moving soldiers from one place to another and watching them fight" etc. etc.

I'm not saying you need to care about football games, but don't mock them when you don't know anything about them.

Edit - I actually found the review really funny, one of the best in a while.

Fifa 13 is actually the only game he hasn't said anything bad about and only positive things...
could fifa13 be the greatest game of all time?

...maybe...

Scarim Coral:
So to sum it up it was reall two Steam games, Tokyo Jungle and traces of FIFA 13? Well to be fair I doubt anyone could of make a video review of a footie game that long without getting boring about it.

Football is never boring: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_uOgyBK1c

erttheking:
That was confusing but fucking hilarious. So, taking bets here, is it going to be Dishonored or XCOM next week?

Probably Resident Evil 6, if the text in the credits is anything to go by.

Then probably Dishonored, and I doubt he'll do XCOM unless there's literally nothing else to review, because it's a type of game he really can't get into.

He usually starts making episodes about a week before they're actually uploaded, and Dishonored isn't released in Australia until tomorrow.

OT: Mark of the Ninja - Made by the same guys who did Shank? I may just need to check it out then, especially if it's a 2D-side-scrolling stealth game.

I was walking in to see a Brit rip about Soccer. I cam out getting a good laugh.

thanks for making my day... even though there isn't much of it left at this point

Nice review of three and a half games ("half" being the FIFA 13 game, because a "sports game" have only the "game" portion of the title, and you are NOT doing sport when you play a video game, so yeah, half, and yeah, there is NOTHING to be said about it, other than what is said on the title...)

razer17:

And to all the hilarious people saying "what else is their to say about a sports game?" Please be quiet. You could say the same thing about any genre "oh, no point reviewing FPS's it's all just shooting guys in the face, what else is their to say" "Why bother reviewing Starcraft 2? It's just moving soldiers from one place to another and watching them fight" etc. etc.

I'm not saying you need to care about football games, but don't mock them when you don't know anything about them.

Edit - I actually found the review really funny, one of the best in a while.

Since you are so wise here, can you explain me what changes there are in Fifa 13 compared to Fifa 12? Yes, all shooter games contain shooting. However from what I can assume about Fifa 13 is that there's some mild tweaks in graphics and maybe some in gameplay, maybe introduce new players (I know one game introduced long retired players as a tribute). However the rules are the same, there are no new maps since all football fields have to be 68x105 meters.

It's popular just like Call of Duty, but just like Call of Duty there's hardly any changes. At least Call of Duty offers a new story with the game.

I'm not trying to argue here, I'm just curious because as I see it Fifa 13 is little more than a game where you play football.

Wow, Yahtzee didn't have a single negative thing to say abotu FIFA. That's rare!

So, Fifa 13 is going to be your game of the year then?

Also known as Indie Roundup of 2012 #4, because it's easy to get into WATCHING a sport, but hard to get into PLAYING a sport without it being in reality.

Yatzee DID say something about reviewing only indie games because only they can be interesting and consistently breaking the mold (which is a paradox, I guess).

Xanthious:
Wow, Yahtzee didn't have a single negative thing to say abotu FIFA. That's rare!

Clearly he was paid off.

I haven't enjoyed a ZP episode this much in...well, a surprisingly long time. I suspected he'd get back to FIFA 13 but not knowing what the punch line would be kept me hooked.

Interesting to follow the differences between Yahtzee's review of Tokyo Jungle and Susan Arendt's.

I am really enjoying Mark of the Ninja. In some ways it makes me remember of Commando for the PC. Although that bonus for not killing people is really strange

GAunderrated:

bafrali:
Might check out the Mark of the Ninja.

BTW where is the RE6 review yathzee? I know Indie games provide more than enough variety for the reviews but without the usual jab at the mainstream AAA market, It somehow feels incomplete.

gotta give the man another week at least to torture himself with RE6. I mean we all know its basically everything he hates about games (crap story, cover base shooting, QTE's up the bum) so I can't blame him for procrastinating that turd.

Look on the bright side: him truly hating a game often makes for the best reviews, as his talents clearly lie with the caustic and merciless destruction of any sense of positive self-image a game might've had.

Which is a good thing.

It might have been a 8sec review,but at least that's something right? :P

Laughed my ass off on this one.Wonder which of the top games he will tackle next week(hopefully?): Dishonored,XCOM etc.

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