Unskippable: Darksiders 2

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Darksiders 2

Death, the winner of the Got Your Nose competition.

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Of course if Fury was like The Incredible Hulk that'd be awesome.
Also with all those crows I was expecting a Russel joke.

I too would serve some council in exchange for a like time supply of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, I love eating those!

Did anyone else spend that whole cutscene thinking 'that guy could totally fit his hands through those incredibly oversized chains'?

You can't kill death! That's... Too meta?

I'M SO CONFUSED.

Yeah sure the artwork is impressive but what everyone wants to know about Darkside is: Just how good ARE the cookies?

And that was the 10th time I died. Or killed. OH GOD I JUST DON'T KNOW!

Also, tell me this was on the soundtrack:

I have no idea what happened in that cutscene, but I'll admit it looked pretty cool.

Quijiboh:
Did anyone else spend that whole cutscene thinking 'that guy could totally fit his hands through those incredibly oversized chains'?

I kept waiting for a joke about that.

canadamus_prime:
Also with all those crows I was expecting a Russel joke.

Same. I can't believe they left that out.

Ronnie Soak!

EDIT: Death seems kinda incompetent. He said the things he wasn't going to take the old guys life, he wasn't going to destroy the amulet and he was going to get him to open up the portal. Then he kills the old guy, breaks the amulet and it's just a fluke that the man just happens to turn into a people once he's dead.

Quijiboh:
Did anyone else spend that whole cutscene thinking 'that guy could totally fit his hands through those incredibly oversized chains'?

Absolutely! I think it was a fashion statement of something, like pants that are clearly too wide for your waist....

Anyone else hate every aspect of this game?

Terrible omic book wow aesthethic that looks worse than either of those.
Terrible gameplay copied and pasted from other games.
Terrible writing that ruins a perfectly interesting backstory.

Ugh. Just look at this! This isn't japan!

OK now I want to see Unskipable's version of Darksiders 3 with a skipping Strife :P

Keeper of Secrets totally stole that dramatic exit from MGS' Vulcan Raven.

Um...So, who else noticed that one of the Four Horsemen is much slimmer than the other three and has breasts?

"There used to be a fifth Horseman, who was the drummer"

I choose to believe that was an intentional Discworld reference.

As for Famine, it wouldn't be an action game character. It would be a stealth game character! Can't you imagine it? Sticking to the shadows, selecting a key target and wearing them down with a series of complex button presses as you watch them slowly wander towards you, spotting you just as they collapse into dust.

"All we know is, he's really the Stig!"

Perfect. Just perfect. I loved that line.

canadamus_prime:
Of course if Fury was like The Incredible Hulk that'd be awesome.
Also with all those crows I was expecting a Russel joke.

It had the perfect setup for a Russel joke and a "That was the Nth time I died." joke.

Yeah, my first thought on starting the game was "Why is he wearing no shirt? In the middle of this frozen tundra?" I guess his skin is that blue-gray for a reason, though...

tehweave:
You can't kill death! That's... Too meta?

I'M SO CONFUSED.

Apparently someone hasn't played Dante's Inferno... or better yet, watched the GPLP of it.

I always thought Raziel from the Kain series was a better agent of Death then Death himself in this game

The original Horsemen are Death, War, Conquest, and Famine.
Pestilence isn't mentioned in Revelations at all.

So seeing it would also be fairly inaccurate. Even though it's used fairly commonly.

Quijiboh:
Did anyone else spend that whole cutscene thinking 'that guy could totally fit his hands through those incredibly oversized chains'?

Yes, I certainly did.

Even reading all the subtitles, I couldn't figure out what was supposed to be going on in half of this cutscene. Death wants a guy he imprisoned to do him a favour...the guy says no...so Death kills him in the hope that that'll make him say yes?

Aw, no "That was the Xth time I died" joke... although I'm not sure if that works if you are Death... or a Death?

The Russel joke was too easy. Not that... we don't go for easy jokes. Cause we do. We just didn't this time.

And yeah, Death can't really die...

Graham_LRR:
And yeah, Death can't really die...

OR CAN HE???


Sorry, I couldn't resist...

Also, Graham, you are so right... who wouldn't wanna turn into a murder of crows upon dying?

They got rid of the drummer because they weren't a band? Presumably, if they WERE a band, they'd get rid of the bass player.

This cool video does not change the fact that I discovered Fury is female and that there is absolutely no fucking way the slogan for her game will not be "Hell Hath No Fury". Oh, give me the happiness of oblivion! Ignorance can only be tainted, never returned!

EDIT:

Ghonzor:
The original Horsemen are Death, War, Conquest, and Famine.
Pestilence isn't mentioned in Revelations at all.

So seeing it would also be fairly inaccurate. Even though it's used fairly commonly.

I just checked. In fact, Death is the only horseman that is named. But none of the others refer to sickness, and the first one refers to conquest while the second refers to war and slaughter, so yeah, pretty much.

Boo! More Atelier! We must find out if Meruru can make a simple health potion and not explode things!

Also, another missed opportunity for "X time I died" joke.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Revelation+6%3A1-8&version=KJV

For those wondering about the four horsemen.

What we have is:

White horse: bowman with a crown; mission was to conquer.
Red horse, swordsman; mission to remove peace from the world.
Black horse, man with balance scales talking about economics.
Pale horse, the rider is Death and he brings Hell.

They are to ruin the earth with the sword, hunger, death and animals.

Where the hell did Pestilence come from? And who is using the animals?

And I would really like to see a game based on the third horseman

Graham_LRR:
The Russel joke was too easy. Not that... we don't go for easy jokes. Cause we do. We just didn't this time.

And yeah, Death can't really die...

but, but, what about the "And that was the Xth time I died..." gag? That's a crowd favorite!
Wow, pretty short number of responses. Is it that the game you got the opening cinematics from was THAT insubstancial?

Yeah, the playing fast and loose with the remaining horsemen thing bothered me too, though I'm now curious what their movesets and looks beyond those silhoutes will prove to be.

BrotherRool:
Ronnie Soak!

EDIT: Death seems kinda incompetent. He said the things he wasn't going to take the old guys life, he wasn't going to destroy the amulet and he was going to get him to open up the portal. Then he kills the old guy, breaks the amulet and it's just a fluke that the man just happens to turn into a people once he's dead.

You mean, the 5th Horseman, the one who left before they became famous?

If Death reaps the souls of the dead, and Death is dead, who reaps Death? Double Death?

Ghonzor:
The original Horsemen are Death, War, Conquest, and Famine.
Pestilence isn't mentioned in Revelations at all.

So seeing it would also be fairly inaccurate. Even though it's used fairly commonly.

But aren't war and conquest essentially the same thing? You know, with conquest just being a very one-sided war?

Not a mention of how Crowfather can slip right out of his cuffs?

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