Unskippable: Armored Core V

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Armored Core V

This story of a giant hole in the ground just got exciting.

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There weren't nearly enough explosions or crotch shots for a Michael Bay production!

DVS BSTrD:
There weren't nearly enough explosions or crotch shots for a Michael Bay production!

And not one of the mechs was a racist stereotype!

I've always loved how these giant robots have tiny little jets on the back, yet they can swoop about like Tinkerbell.
"Hey, how much thrust do think it would take to lift 20 tonnes of steel, explosives and armoured cores?"
"Damn it, I'm an impractical weapons designer, not a physicist! Just put a couple fireworks on the back, that should do it."

Yes, but can I fly so fast my brain permanently only occupies the back half of my skull? Try doing that with your jet tank...

The Gentleman:
Yes, but can I fly so fast my brain permanently only occupies the back half of my skull? Try doing that with your jet tank...

but isn't it a bad idea to outrun the bullets?

I don't know which game to get: VArmored Core, or Armored CoreV. Oh great now I hear that they are coming out with VArmored CoreV, and they are telling me it's the 3rd one.

Actually jet tanks were already kinda done by soviets
Not exactly tanks themselves but the reactive airdrop system was developed in 70-80s
Main purpose was to drop tanks and APCs directly into frontline
System consists from one parachute (most probably for stabilization) and 3-4 reactive thrusters that are located between said parachute and vehicle
Thrusters are activated only in the end of the fall, so vehicle is mostly falling (thus becoming harder target for AA weapons)

France also tried to do something like that, but after initial test ended up with death of vehicle crew they stopped the project.

i could have sworn he said FARMERS CORE. witch would be far less exiting. or would it....

Okay, why did the name of "Armoured Core" remind me of this from Demolition Man:

EDIT:

By the way...
"Well, I couldn't decide what weapons to bring, so I just brought ALL of them"

Graham, you sound as though you've visited TV Tropes recently. To quote the page about the 'Crazy Prepared' trope:

"Some very professional players deliberately use overweighted ACs loaded with every weapon for any situations in Arenas, and eject any unnecessary weapons when the fight begins, depending on the enemy."

I mean, I'm just saying.

I won't be able to look at my watch without suspicion for some time now...

I have to say, for a smaller company like From Software, that was an incredibly good looking intro movie.

Still made no sense, other than "look at all the different robot parts you can play with!"

Seriously, that cutscene makes no sense. It goes form image to image wihtout any coherent idea, and then dialogues that seem stiched together from various conversations. *sigh*

Not sure why but this was one of the funniest ones you've done. Probably cause the game seems so stoooopid.

A bit of nitpicking.

You know, if we have mechs, I'd like to think we've passed the point when we have gynormous gears.

Those are not gears, but spools for the cables pulling the machine up. Besides, the alternative to gears would be to have an electric motor on each moving part, which makes sense for cars, but not too many other applications.

Now, I'm just spit-balling here, but why don't we try armouring everything, instead of just the core?

Because armour weights a lot - quite important for air drops.

So, actual battle-ready mechs is not something we are going to be able to achieve for a long time, but tanks with jets? We could do that now!

Could we? F-35 Raptor produces up to 186 kN of thrust, which is enough to lift about 19 tons. An Abrams tank weights over 60 tons - it would need the thrust of 3 bombers just for rocket-assisted descent. This, not even counting the weight of additional fuel or engines themselves.

Don Reba:
A bit of nitpicking.

So, actual battle-ready mechs is not something we are going to be able to achieve for a long time, but tanks with jets? We could do that now!

Could we? F-35 Raptor produces up to 186 kN of thrust, which is enough to lift about 19 tons. An Abrams tank weights over 60 tons - it would need the thrust of 3 bombers just for rocket-assisted descent.

A bit of nitpicking on the nitpicking. ;)

You only need a lot of thrust for a very short time. Also, you don't need to be able to lift the mass of the whole tank, just slow it down enough to stop it from damaging itself when it hits the tarmac.

Both are possible with solid state rocket engines. You could easily eject those once you hit the ground (as you wouldn't need them after that), and solid rockets generate a TON of thrust for their size and mass.

It wouldn't be the most pleasant of landings for the crew, and there would be risks (trigger them to early and you plummet the last bit, trigger them to late and you won't slow down enough to not destroy your tanks suspension on impact), but it could work.

Maybe Fran and Rosary are one person with multiple personalities? Is that the plot twist?

Why are they so obsessed with Air Conditioning units? Is this part of a larger war strategy? Take away their cooling, and then they will surrender! I would have thought taking out the military units would make more sense.

5-0:
Not sure why but this was one of the funniest ones you've done. Probably cause the game seems so stoooopid.

Indeed. The cutscene by itself utterly failed to establish stuff like plot, characters, setting, and why we should care, beyong BIG DAMN MECHSPLOSIOOOOOOOOOOONS!!! Should i have played the 1st 4 to get it?
And good job guys, your jokes this week were brilliant!

captcha: DISH Fall Sales Event
Is the event watching sattelite dishes dropped from a roof? I want to go to there.

"Why did you miss?"
Graham: "I'm sorry?!"

That one's going in the big vault of best lines from Unskippable. So simple, but I laughed my ass off, even after rewinding it 4 times.

War, war never changes, except, you know, when it does.

TheomanZero:
Maybe Fran and Rosary are one person with multiple personalities? Is that the plot twist?

Damn it! I was going to say that!

...Anyway... I agree, screw the mechs, lets just go with the jet tanks.

Mydnyght:
Okay, why did the name of "Armoured Core" remind me of this from Demolition Man:

Fun fact: Whene they said CoreV they pronounced it pretty much exactly like the swedish word korv wich means sausage or Hot Dog!

Therefore it would be, Armoured Canadian Gentlemen.

Don Reba:
A bit of nitpicking.

So, actual battle-ready mechs is not something we are going to be able to achieve for a long time, but tanks with jets? We could do that now!

Could we? F-35 Raptor produces up to 186 kN of thrust, which is enough to lift about 19 tons. An Abrams tank weights over 60 tons - it would need the thrust of 3 bombers just for rocket-assisted descent. This, not even counting the weight of additional fuel or engines themselves.

Counter-nitpick - 186kN would balance 182.28 metric tons.

Lets run the numbers:
1kg applies a downwards force of 0.98N. 0.98 is annoying, and I don't anticipate doing anything accurate, so lets equate 1kg to 1N. 1000kg in a ton, so 1 ton applies approximately 1kN of force downwards.

The F-35 Lightning II has a loaded weight of 22.47 tons.
Its powerplant, the PW F135, produces 125kN of thrust, going up to 191kN when afterburning.
So it has over 100kN of thrust left over to actually fly on.

The powerplant on its own weighs 1.7 tons.

Just one of them could potentially make your Abrams fly - it produces 2x the thrust required to lift the Abrams' mass (125kN vs 60 tons, that's 125kN force up, 60kN force down. Without afterburning). Certainly it would be enough to let it gently air drop :)

Sources: http://www.jeffhead.com/usn21/f35.htm, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pratt_%26_Whitney_F135

that women talking at near the end of the cutscene to the sniper mech. Her voice sounds familiar

A serious discussion about flying tanks.

Wicky_42:
Counter-nitpick - 186kN would balance 182.28 metric tons.

A metric ton is 1000 kg. Force, measured in Newtons, is mass, measured in kilograms, times acceleration. Graviational acceleration is 9.81 m/s2, so 186 kN would balance 186,000/9.81 kg or about 19 tons.

Wicky_42:
The F-35 Lightning II has a loaded weight of 22.47 tons.
Its powerplant, the PW F135, produces 125kN of thrust, going up to 191kN when afterburning.
So it has over 100kN of thrust left over to actually fly on.

F-35 has a thrust to weight ratio of 0.87, which means that it cannot accelerate directly upwards (F-22 can). For a plane, this is ok due to its aerodynamic properties, but a tank has no lift at all and therefore requires a more powerful engine to stay in the air.

One question: Since Rosary says she'll attach her chopper to the AC wouldn't that mean that the Chopper is being flown by Rosary?

So did they mean Corp and it got lost in translation or are the super expensive mechs really just not protected on the extremities.

Anyone ever play these games? the wiki says there are 15 of them so it must be popular somewhere.

Graham_LRR:

This story of a giant hole in the ground just got exciting.

welll.... i bow to your greater knowledge
way to be wrong on every point, it seems so obvious but it actually Really isn't
it is indeed completely insane and impossible to fathom by watching the scene alone

i went to the wiki, and a fan site to look up what is actually going on

apparently Fran is the resistance leader, that was a curve-ball for me

sorry.

Well when you have a mech, bringing all the weapons is a little more possible.

VArmored CoreV is so amazingly incoherent that they missed an opportunity. The game should be called Flying Tanks, involving SHOOTING THINGS DOWN IN A FLYING TANK! Eat flying tanks democracy haters!

The Lugz:
wow you guys, you really have a blind spot for helicopters.. jets and flying objects

TLDR:
Fran is in the mech (AC)

Rosary is in the helicopter

Not the case, actually.

First though, let me try to work out how your context example helps this make sense.

The Lugz:
it's pretty easy to figure out, just observe the context;

Fran: there's no point staying back here let's go ( wants a ride )

Rosary: i'll attach MY chopper to the AC ( the mech ) you go on ahead

Fran: I'm coming with you!

Rosary: it's ok we'll meet up later

You are saying:
--Fran in the mech says they should go. Rosy in the chopper then attaches to Fran's mech, but tells Fran to go on ahead? What, without her mech?
--Fran says "I'm coming with you", okay so that means she's staying IN the mech.
--Rosy says "it's okay, we'll meet up later", oh, no, they ARE going separately. But, no they're not, because the mech IS with the helicopter... what!?

The silent player character is in the AC. Rosy is in the chopper, and Fran is off-site somewhere. It is woefully unclear.

Graham_LRR:

mega snip!

The silent player character is in the AC. Rosy is in the chopper, and Fran is off-site somewhere. It is woefully unclear.

hmm, this proves as ever perspective is everything i totally messed up who Fran was by missing that my bad!

Edit:

i went and looked it up on the fan-site wiki apparently she is, indeed a married resistance leader and nothing to do with the cut-scene mech whatsoever

it seemed so obvious, but now i feel like a prat, so sorry :P

So... things established in the intro:

There's war in this world.
There's mechs in this world.
There's big guns in this world.
There's at least 3 women and 1 man in this world, names of Rossary, Fran, Carol and RD. The former two and latter two do not like each other.

And that's about it.

MGS4's cutscene may have gone on forever, but they at least contained some information.

bificommander:
So... things established in the intro:

There's war in this world.
There's mechs in this world.
There's big guns in this world.
There's at least 3 women and 1 man in this world, names of Rossary, Fran, Carol and RD. The former two and latter two do not like each other.

And that's about it.

MGS4's cutscene may have gone on forever, but they at least contained some information.

EDIT: If memory serves, RD actually starts out with Rosary and Fran.

That would be a spoiler except the intro CLEARLY SHOWS that he eventually betrays / shoots you.

I have no idea what the hell this cutscene was about. Clearly it was made by someone who graduated from the entertainment school of "if we show lots of guns and metal-things and explosions and stuff it won't matter if it makes sense."

Really, that's a horrible introductory cutscene. I have no idea what's going on besides "things are shooting at other things. And there might be mechs."

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