Jimquisition: Touch Waggle Touch Waggle Swipe

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I don't have a problem with your anger, but I think your comedic timing and sense of joke structure could use some work.
For example, it probably would have been much funnier if you'd started with beating the shit out of a game disk with a hammer and then turned around and given your spiel about not wanting to appear more angry.

Okami and Metroid Prime Trilogy are my absolute favorite games on the Wii. Why?, because they work.

I haven't played the PS2 version of Okami to really tell the difference between using the thumbsticks and the IR pointer of the Wii for painting, but I did played both Metroid Primes on the GameCube (finished MP1 like 10 times and MP2 like 4) and belive me, both of these games are better on the Wii, because Retro Studios got it right, the gameplay wasn't obtrusive, the gameplay flow didn't stopped, heck, it even was a bit easier than even before, thanks to the more precise controls, it's the first (and only) time where I never missed to use a regular controller and it even made me wish for more developers doing things like this.

A lightning doesn't strike twice on the same place, as they say, because even Retro didn't managed to get it right again with Donkey Kong Returns and it's craptastic waggle (awesome game, shitty waggling).

I also like Mario Galaxy 1/2 to bits and I just can't get enough of Skyward Sword, but both Okami and Prime Trilogy are my golden standard about how a "motion controlled" game should work.
Granted, Okami does have it's fair share of motion issues, but the good severely outweights the bad.

What was the game that met this cruel and unquestionably just end in this video?

Edit: Managed to stop video at the right moment- was that game SO bad? Was it simply bad or was it similar to one particular game that killed C&C franchise and had "Twilight" in its name?

Another thing that could make use of touch screen controls is inventory management. Navigating menus would be an awesome method of using touch controls. Or in the DS's case, use the second screen to display a minimap or radar of some sort. Using the touch screen to play the game is fine if the game was designed to be played using the touch screen i.e. Elite Beat Agents, but forcing the touch screen into a game where it doesn't belong just makes a good game bad i.e. Star Fox Command.

I had no problems with the phantom hourglass touch controls from beginning to end. I thought it was a great method of integrating the stylus into gameplay.

And tracing the boomerang path to have it hit 3 things was kind of badass.

I've been a little confused cause I've been told by random people on the Internet that the more hard and frustrating a game is the better is. Therefore, I would think that the shitter the controls ie controls you need 5 hands to be able to play would be better.

This is kinda a troll.

I swear game makers see things like I want harder games and are like ok well you need to use both hands and a foot to play the game or train a monkey of or a little kid to help.

This is why I hated and couldn't stand games like LAIR and Resistance: Burning Skies - too much bullshit in order to play the game. I LIKE Silent Hill: Book of Memories because the virtual buttons don't take the whole touch screen business too far.

I'll have to look into that game Jim was showing. Ragnarok Odyssey? I wonder what Jim thinks of it as a game, aside from being the good example of Vita touch screen controls.

Sheo_Dagana:
I'll have to look into that game Jim was showing. Ragnarok Odyssey? I wonder what Jim thinks of it as a game, aside from being the good example of Vita touch screen controls.

Why, I reviewed it right here, mah friend:

http://www.destructoid.com/review-ragnarok-odyssey-237672.phtml

WaitWHAT:
I'd accuse Jim of stating the obvious, but apparently, statements like "make games fun" aren't obvious to some people. And these people are game developers. People who make games for a living. Wat?

Great points can be made to sound simple. I haven't had a problem with touch screen games cause I haven't really played them.

Just like madden games. If these games are finding their nitch so be it.

If their not sooner or later they'll lose enough money and go away.

Jimothy Sterling:

Mark B:
Right well thats the last Jq I'm watching for a while. when you spend 2 minutes complaining that you dont have enough time to make a video thats 2 minutes you could have put in the video.

But ... it wasn't a complaint? It was a set up to a joke with a hammer?

Ya can't make everyone happy. Sad fact of life. :(

But you made me happy Jim. Thank God for you. :)

TJC:
Jim... please... keep it short. You're repeating yourself for no reason. It's stretching the videos to unreasonable lengths for no other reason than to hear you saying the same damn thing over and over. This video should've clocked by minute 7 (if your fucking generous). The fact that it was nearly 10 minutes long makes it almost pointless.

Sorry m8, many of us enjoy the longer videos. I don't feel as though he went through any unnecessary time stretching in the video, he was just using repeat emphasis to drive home a point. Combine that with his rushed schedule, I'm willing to be quite a bit of that video went off script and he was speaking from his heart.

OT: Jim, I think it has been this way since the dawn of time. Anytime we get a new gadget/feature everyone wants to show off with it, and it becomes a bit redundant. The issue I see is, with games this redundancy breaks down the smooth interactive feel video games are supposed to provide. My general rule is; If you have to think about the controls while you are playing the game, you need to rework the system. Controls need to be reactive and intuitive because the game developers are trying to engross us in their product. Instead we have developers forgetting to engross us in their game, and trying to engross us with the hardware.

I don't know who's fault it is (developers or manufacturers), but once things do finally calm down, the touch screens and motion controls will seem fluid and seamless. I just pray to Jim that day comes sooner rather than later.

I'd say that this rant is the embodiment of everything I hate about Zelda: Skyward Sword, especially all those sequences where you had to twist the wiimote to put a key in a damn lock. Seriously, did anyone think that was anything other than a waste of your time?

Yes...thank God for you Jim. It was about time someone said that the douches in game development don't HAVE to make every game an all-encompasing overimmersive experience where everything has to make use of the tech. Simpler is better sometimes...which is why people still go back and play the ORIGINAL Super Mario Brothers because it is still fun.

NpPro93:
The key rant was one of the greatest things I have heard in a long time. Seriously, why is that kind of things in games now? Also when its like "mash x to open the door." You can't fail; its just an annoyance. So listen to Jim and stop doing it, developers.

This! Who the hell decided that it would be fun to randomly mash buttons to perform menial tasks? And no... it doesnīt increase immersion, if anything it decreases it because controlling your character gets less intuitive. In reality, i just open doors, i donīt shake my hands like a mad man until it opens.

One thing that puzzles me though, why do people first start to complain now? Iīm starting to see a lot of complaints against things that have plagued this generation of games since day one, but we had to reach the end of the generation until people actually started voicing their negative opinions against these things :p.

I was waiting for awhile for him to mention the Uncharted game on the Vita. Rub the paper clean, hold it up to a light even though it won't fucking do anything! That game just used Nathan and friends as a skin for their "this is stuff the Vita can do!" demo and it pissed me right off.

I recognize a lot of what Jim said in this video in Podtoid, always a great laugh.

And that's why I'd like to be an interface designer in the game industry. So often I see interface decisions that make me go "What the actual fuck did they think?"

I'm shocked that Jim managed to mention Phantom Hourglass without mentioning the "Blow in the microphone" bullshit.

Talk about a tech demo mentality, "Hey, we have this microphone on this handheld. It has absolutely no practical use for a game, so what can we do to shove it in?"

Just what I want from my handheld, gameplay that makes me look even more like I should be removed from society.

Yup this shit ruined another M (well that and a million other things) I wanted to send team Ninja a rabid squirrel in a box labelled 'shake vigorously before opening'...

Point the wii mote at the screen to shoot missles then ya fecks.

I'm gonna disagree on the key turning thing. Yeah, it can get annoying when overdone, but sometimes the motion interaction can enhance immersion in games. I hold up the Metroid Prime trilogy as an example of this done right.

Captcha: WTF we're doing advertisements now? No, I don't want Dish network!

This is reminiscent of MovieBob's Game Overthinker episode, where he comments on button overuse. Yeah, just because it's there, it doesn't mean you HAVE to use it. You CAN use it if you feel it improves or enhances gameplay, but more often then not, gameplay and controls, Hell, even the entire game seems to be build around one thing, and that's the awkwardness of using weird-ass controls!

With exception of Heavy Rain and games like it this is pushed by Publishers not Developers.

Oh, you can touch my waggle.

This video expresses so well why I won't touch the next Xbox with a 10-foot barge pole if Kinect is a part of the launch hardware; I am getting seriously sick of this "let's use it because we have it" mentality in the industry. Indeed, thank [redacted] for Jim.

It is for that very reason that I HATED Metroid Prime Hunters on the DS. All available control schemes were centered around the touch screen and they all were about as intuitive as putting a square peg in a a round hole with the lights out while wearing oven mitts. ...Well that and the fact that they all of a sudden decided to introduce falling damage after IDK how many Metroid games without falling damage.

Why do I have the feeling Action Figure William Dafoe is going to get the hammer (blowtorch, maul, axe, sword, whatever...) sooner or later?

Had to log back in to say indeed, thank god for you Jim. Now if only developers would listen. This episode really hit home for me as all the gimmicky tech-demo bullshit in Assassin's Creed Liberation is ruining the game for me. It would be pretty fun if it just let me play the actual Assassin's Creed gameplay, but every time I find myself really starting to get into it and really enjoy the game, it seems to say "Oh, we can't have that!" and makes me tilt the Vita to roll a ball into the center of a maze or point the back camera at a light source so I can spin a disc on the touch screen and I don't even know what the fuck the point of this one is supposed to be but it barely fucking works and pisses me off! It doesn't need to be in the game, and it happens right after another gimmicky thing where you have to swipe the front and back at the same time to open a letter (which, while stupid, doesn't piss me off nearly as much because at least it works, but having to completely change how I hold the Vita for it is still goddamn annoying).

Fuck you Ubisoft, I know that the Vita has a rear camera, I know it has a touch screen on the front and the back. Knock it the FUCK off and let me play some friggin' Assassin's Creed! (Yeah it pisses me off too, and the start of that video is pretty much why they don't allow me to have hammers anymore)

And also yes I am finally glad to know I'm not the only one who hated that Phantom Hourglass (and later, Spirit Tracks) were touch screen only. Every time I've complained about how inaccurate and sloppy it makes things I just get a torrent of "u just suck at teh gaym lrn 2 play nub" or crap like that from Zelda fanboys. I like Zelda too for the most part but when a game has a shitty control scheme, it has a shitty control scheme no matter what franchise name that I otherwise like is slapped on the title screen! It's okay to admit it people, hating two games with poor controls doesn't mean you have to hate the rest of the series!

TJC:
Jim... please... keep it short. You're repeating yourself for no reason. It's stretching the videos to unreasonable lengths for no other reason than to hear you saying the same damn thing over and over. This video should've clocked by minute 7 (if your fucking generous). The fact that it was nearly 10 minutes long makes it almost pointless.

Ironic coming from someone who repeated his complaint about hearing the same damn thing over and over three times in one post. The bold part would have been enough to get your point across. No need to make a hypocrite of yourself.

freaper:
Why do I have the feeling Action Figure William Dafoe is going to get the hammer (blowtorch, maul, axe, sword, whatever...) soonaer or later?

Blowtorch? This isn't Ashens. ;)

A game that deserves props is "Shinobido: Revenge of Zen". Both of the Vita's touch pads are used as well as other gimmicks, but there are button combinations as well. For example, the grappling hook can be shot by aiming with the rear touch pad OR pressing R+X to throw it directly in front of you. Going the R+X method makes the grappling hook home onto a ledge automatically, but it's right or at least close enough 90% of the time. This is great because it gives you the touchy feely options and once you're done with that and need a proper control, it's there for you.

actually phantom hourglass had one of the smoother reasons to use the touch screen

since the d pad was not really good at expressing 360 degrees of movement, all of the older zeldas relied on 8 direction stuff (with only four directions of attack not counting the hard to aim diagonally seed shooters in the oracle games) that meant that you couldn't defend yourself as well between 90 degree angles which is kind of ridiculous

and then suddenly you had a simple way of locking onto enemies and directing yourself out of the way of danger in a specific direction that didn't require a thumbstick and you could easily hurl the boomerang at anything you wanted within a blink without relying on the 8 directions to align exactly with your opponent

the only real flaw that came up in the system was drawing the triforce on that one door and the fact that they totally put the wrong instructions for rolling in the game (which was later fixed in spirit tracks)

This happens whenever there's new tech that developers want to play with. The idea is that the curiosity that people have of it will make people buy it. weather it belongs or not.

I remember when 3D (as in polygons) was the new thing, and every game had to be 3D even if the game franchise was previously 2D.

Another example of Vita touch screens used right: Disgaea 3.

The use of touch controls are only used to enhance the experience (a flick of your finger can make an inventory screen scroll faster, move the camera during battles, yadda, etc.), or to do silly things (you can flick characters in the hub-world and send them flying. lawl).

Anyway, good episode, Jim. :D

However Jim, you forgot about horror games. They are meant to show you just how clever the developers are, as they reach inside your skull and make you feel molested on the inside.

Thank god Jim that is all i can say as you have said what i said at some point when i said it.

GonzoGamer:
sounds like the WiiU and Vita devs should rediscover the strategy genre; that could leave a lot of room for swiping & waggling that slows down a FPS.

It might make console RTS games good for once, this is great idea.

I would say that with a game like Okami the move controller has been a god send (like Jim)... now if only there was a button to skip the MOUNTAINS of dialog I have to sit through before I get to play again.

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