Escape to the Movies: Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part Two

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 NEXT
 

I went to see this with four friends of mine. We sat in the front row because we were hoping that someone would die and we could do an improve dance when it happened.

We were so happy for ten minutes...

So, so very bad. Completely and utterly terrible. Micheal Sheen's laugh, when he hears Renesme's(sp?) heartbeat, saves this entire movie though. Please someone out there make a loop. I want it as my ring tone or for my morning alarm.

Just... Wow...
I believe you bob! I'm not gonna watch it, cuz I've never watched Twilight, but if i ever get forced to watch them by a rogue girlfriend or something, now I know I'll have something to look forward to;D

I watched the second and fourth films whilst doing other stuff. Obviously they are both utter twaddle but Michael Sheen is glorious! Just hamming it up and devouring the scenery. Plus he's a great actor so he's allowed to have fun in this trainwreck. i hope he got a good paycheck because he deserves it

Before I would have never even considered watching a minute of this.
Now I'm wondering whether to watch the whole thing or just the final battle...

DVS BSTrD:
Call this movie Queen, because the Twilight series finally...

*puts on sunglasses*

...bites the dust.

it's official, I love you.

XD

LoathsomePete:
After this review I just texted my girlfriend saying we're going to see this tonight. She's an unapologetic fan of the series so she's incredibly happy and I'm going to get laid tonight. Thanks Bob!

Sir we salute you!

Aww, this makes me *sad face*.

One one hand, I have infinite amounts of shame in admitting that I've seen the first three movies (I have friends who really like this gay vampire shit) but haven't seen Breaking Dawn part 1 (Even I have my limits).

But this review makes it sound like this might be worthwhile. And considering fuck all else came out this week for me to go and see...

So what do I do? Go and see this shit (but apparently very funny for it) film, or go see Skyfall for the third time?

So, pretty much Highlander meets Dragon Ball Z with Vampires and Werewolves... those 5 to 10 minutes alone almost make this movie worthwhile. Almost.

Well it could have been worse. He could have watched... a Mermaid Melody Fandub! Hahahaha!

it's funny how people think it's over when in the newest videos the video right before this one is "The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - Trailer"

having read 3 out of 4 books, i have to say that it is a lot like Twilight, just more... well everything really. 4 books are out yet and more to come(?) and they can easily make 2-3 movies out of each book. so it will be interesting to see if moviebob reviews that as well.

So Bob is not one of those jerks who talks during the movie... he yells.

The only thing that really bothers me about this review is that every time I'll check the Escapist over the weekend I'll end up looking and Kirsten Stewart's dead face on the front page.

So after seeing the review I went as saw this with friends. Dear god its funnier then Bob made it out to be.

Also.

Kristen Stewart tackles a cougar, your argument is invalid.

That's nice, I'm still not going to see it.

EDIT: Although I do have to wonder, if Stephanie Meyer is such a bad writer, how the hell did she ever get published?

Daaaah Whoosh:
Well, I was gonna go see Cloud Atlas, but now I really want to see just how awesomely bad this movie is.

No, you should still see Cloud Atlas. No matter how terribly awesome this movie is, the epic that is Cloud Atlas is still better.

I would almost go to a theatre to see this just to be part of the audience reaction to the fight scene turning out to be a dream.

You know how they could've made this even more ridiculous? They could've gotten Kristen Stewart to do this:

Dang, man, 7-minute review? Is this movie really so ridiculous that he has to talk about it that long? Although, given that it's the final Twilight movie and they decide to go balls-out crazy, I suppose it's worth seeing for some entertainment... Personally, though, I'm going to see Wreck-It Ralph again.

Nobody bringing a sword to a beheading fight reminds me of that horrible 2008 movie Jumper, where nobody ever picked up a gun. Even Marvel movies kill off bad guys and the occasional good guy (although just HOW Gwen Stacy's survived for this long I'll never figure out) now and again. Vampire movies without bite, irony aside, are just a load of preening wank, but I'd see this one for the big fight if I had someone to go with (so loneley...).

image

I can't tell if Bob is trolling us, or this is going to be a cult classic.

Please don't mod wrath me for using the word troll.

I...was not expecting that. A "so bad it's good" movie is one thing, but it never occurred to me that it would be one of the Twilight movies, because the rest of them were just plain bad.

Daaaah Whoosh:
Well, I was gonna go see Cloud Atlas, but now I really want to see just how awesomely bad this movie is.

Let's be clear here, you should definitely go see Cloud Atlas. It's at least nineteen different kinds of amazing. No matter how much fun an X-men Vampire war sounds (and it does sound kind of fun, with Bob giggling like that), you should still see Cloud Atlas. Save the terrible but hilarious for the couch with friends, or something.

Ive remained clean of all this tween vampire nonsense up until now, never even touched the cover of any of the book or films ( not kidding). If you say this film bombed in the best of ways then maybe it won't be so painful when I inevitably am forced to watch it.

cyvaris:
Also.

Kristen Stewart tackles a cougar, your argument is invalid.

For some reason that phrase just came out wrong.

Well another "so bad it's good" movie to watch when "I'm too intoxicated to care what I'm watching" nights.

Wait, wait...

"They feed Dakota Fanning to a giant wolf."

Huh...

So let me get this straight.



Now, I honestly don't have anything implicitly against Dakota Fanning but I... I have got to see this. Aww, but then I have to watch the rest of the movie. Oh well, Rifftrax ho!

I trusted you bob. I trusted you and saw it with the girlfriend and I will never get those hours back.

shrekfan246:

PureIrony:
If this is right, the rifftrax for this movie is going to epic.

I cannot wait.

Also, I could watch that clip of Kristen Stewart tackling that puma for eternity. It's just...gloriously stupid.

Well, then lucky for you somebody has made a gif out of it.

image

"Pumagirl, she flies like a moron..."

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

it was all just a dream.. fuuuuck. the dream ending would be amazing.

canadamus_prime:
That's nice, I'm still not going to see it.

EDIT: Although I do have to wonder, if Stephanie Meyer is such a bad writer, how the hell did she ever get published?

Nobody ever starved when choosing to feed of other people's lack of taste.

That said, if you have to give the Twilight books credit for one thing (and this is a dubious cookie at best), it's the fact that it taps into the tropes of "really plain girl is special underneath" and "dream guy falls for really plain girl" rather effectively, at least enough to overcome the undercurrent of absolute awfulness of the subtext (e.g., A 100-year-old guy - who hangs out in a HIGH SCHOOL - falls for a teenage girl, not because he's an emotionally underdeveloped asshole*, but because said girl is super-duper special, right? RIGHT?!?!), and that kind of self-insert fantasy is exactly the kind of escapism that appeals to teenage girls and women who didn't quite emotionally leave high school.

Sorry if that sounds like a high horse, but if a guy could live forever but can't come up with anything better to do than go to high school, and you're the (adult) chick who can't see anything wrong with that, YOU are the one with the problem. Teenage girls could be excused, at least to some extent, since most adults have no idea how to talk to teenage girls about this sort of thing. And since they have disposable income...here we are. A successful series that is full of fail, but it's appealing fail.

Okay, this review makes me wanna go see this movie. A movie so bad it's actually fun? I can dig that, totally! Not gonna see it sober though...

Until watching this review,

had been the only thing Twilight-related that I enjoyed. But I couldn't help but chuckle as Bob described the war with an almost childish glee and giddiness.

I mean seriously guys, FRICKIN' LAVA! :P

Edit: You still couldn't pay me enough to go see this movie, though. No matter how "so bad it's good" it is, that still doesn't change the fact that 1: it's bad, and 2: it's frickin' Twilight.

you wanna tell me that fucking TWILIGHT is enjoyable but THE GREEN FUCKING LANTERN MOVIE was one of the most ball cringing movie expiriances ive ever had the misfortune to sit through?
image

I've never seen any of the previous movies, but this review makes me kind of want to see this one.

Daria.Morgendorffer:

canadamus_prime:
That's nice, I'm still not going to see it.

EDIT: Although I do have to wonder, if Stephanie Meyer is such a bad writer, how the hell did she ever get published?

Nobody ever starved when choosing to feed of other people's lack of taste.

That said, if you have to give the Twilight books credit for one thing (and this is a dubious cookie at best), it's the fact that it taps into the tropes of "really plain girl is special underneath" and "dream guy falls for really plain girl" rather effectively, at least enough to overcome the undercurrent of absolute awfulness of the subtext (e.g., A 100-year-old guy - who hangs out in a HIGH SCHOOL - falls for a teenage girl, not because he's an emotionally underdeveloped asshole*, but because said girl is super-duper special, right? RIGHT?!?!), and that kind of self-insert fantasy is exactly the kind of escapism that appeals to teenage girls and women who didn't quite emotionally leave high school.

Sorry if that sounds like a high horse, but if a guy could live forever but can't come up with anything better to do than go to high school, and you're the (adult) chick who can't see anything wrong with that, YOU are the one with the problem. Teenage girls could be excused, at least to some extent, since most adults have no idea how to talk to teenage girls about this sort of thing. And since they have disposable income...here we are. A successful series that is full of fail, but it's appealing fail.

That still doesn't account for how she got published in the first place. Like if she's such a terrible writer then how is it that her publisher didn't slap her with a big fat rejection slip? I don't know, I haven't read it, I'm just going on everyone else's word here.

So it's got a decent action part. Still not ever going to watch this turgid pile of crap.

Will look out for the final fight on YouTube in some time to check if it really as good as Bob is trying to make it out to be.
There is literally nothing I would go watch this movie for, bar being paid or the guaranteed promise of post-movie(or per) boob fondling.

Also: it was all a dream? Really? I can remember my English teacher marking an essay down because it ended like that. When I was 14. And I got it then.

Oh boy. Well I saw it with my wife yesterday. Now to unpack the experience.

I laughed several times, mostly at the film. The flying suplex on the cougar is but one moment of hilariously awful. Much of that revolves around how bad much of the CGI is. I'm sorry, any time they did their super fast run it was the worst kind of green screening effect.

They almost attempted to do some interesting thematic things. The idea behind the uncomfortable alliance of the 'good vampire' Cullens (good because they don't eat humans) with some 'good only because they associate with the Cullens" could have had some meat. Instead it is resolved off camera, with the simple declaration 'they agree not to hunt here'.

The learning her own strength could have been interesting, but loses it for two reasons. One, Kristen Stewart can NOT act. She is far better in this film though. Given a role where she is allowed to show actual emotion beyond 'mopey, needy, sulking, emo girl' she is tolerable. But not good. Laughing and smiling do make her almost human though. The second reason it fails is, for some reason, she is magically now the strongest vampire. Period. For no reason other than because. WTF? It's absurd and makes 0 sense (other than as a Mary Sue insert).

The whole Jacob Renesme thing is just. so. creepy. No amount of explanation makes it less so. Also Renesme? Who would name their kid that? It's terrible.

Michael Sheen is entertaining, and does put on a good performance. Meanwhile Dakota Fanning will try to kill you by starring at you with those Anime eyes.

The whole Bella's father subplot? They bring it up, and sweep it under with 'I'll tell you what you need to know'. It didn't work. Why would him knowing the truth make him a target? It doesn't make sense.

The final battle is endemic of the whole thing, they almost tried to do something awesome (or at least interesting in other cases) but ultimately lacked the courage to actually do what was needed to make it work.

Oh and the whole 'it was just a vision' final battle. That's first rate bullshit. It's enough to ruin a good movie, and this was not an otherwise good movie.

 Pages PREV 1 2 3 4 5 6 NEXT

Reply to Thread

Log in or Register to Comment
Have an account? Login below:
With Facebook:Login With Facebook
or
Username:  
Password:  
  
Not registered? To sign up for an account with The Escapist:
Register With Facebook
Register With Facebook
or
Registered for a free account here