The Big Picture: Next Light

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No more... please, no more shitty "supernatural love".

Also, "zombie love story":

I'm sorry that girl actually said in that trailer "This is the future" REALLY? That's bad screen writing 101, no one says "we're living in the future" because to them its the FUCKING PRESENT! GOD DAMMNIT! Thats even worse, in fact a million times worse, than that one part in the new (shitty) Total Recall when that woman is injecting him with the needle and she says "Its still the best way to get chemicals into the human body." Yes he probably knows that already you dumbass exposition spouting fool.

That comedy with the lad from Skins looks funny though, it was probably the song.

As for the mortal instruments... f-FUCK! Thats pretty edgy what they're trying to do, and I'm more than okay with it. Well there are two things technically.

Capcha: bizarro jerry. Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Capcha that's the crazy phrases I love you for :D

sextus the crazy:
Is it just me, or does warm bodies seem like something ripped from the fallout series. humans hate all ghouls, even though non-feral ghouls are sentient and like normal people.

Well the sentient zombies in Warm Bodies look way prettier than the sentient ghouls from Fallout.

Also, they should make a Homestuck movie franchise, it would be like 20 movies long. It's also popular with teens and doesn't have [SPOILER] unlike The Mortal Instruments.

Steve the Pocket:
I remember reading some webcomic that parodied Twilight with a fake in-universe book series about a girl falling for a zombie. So Warm Bodies could be hilarious depending on how much they're leaning on that angle as opposed to making it the kind of movie most think of when they hear "romantic comedy". (I.e. straight romance story with some funny bits thrown in to broaden the potential audience.)

This must be the webcomic you're looking for: http://hijinksensue.com/2008/11/12/30-days-of-twilight/

I'm starting to wonder if the movie industry is going to follow the same formula for tween-lit horror/romance from the Simpsons episode "The Book Job", what with how Bob described these upcoming movies. Side note: WTF was happening in the spinning dining room with the gawd-awfulvfake Southern accents? And ZOMBIE romance? Really? That better just point out how dumb this whole "undead romance" THING is as a whole.
And now, after reading some other comments on this thread, why did Bob leave off Hunger Games, besides not liking the 1st movie? Both it & the Twilight series have female lead characters with funny names & little personality, contrived love triangles, and psychotically obsessed fanbases of teenage girls.

Falterfire:
I'll third the surprise that Hunger Games wasn't mentioned at all. It completely fits the whole 'appealing to teenage girls' thing and has the added bonus of having already had one very successful movie. Obviously with only 3 books total it won't be the Next Big Thing for many years, but I think it's got a pretty good shot at least for the next year or two.

I am also surprised, and was kind of expecting it as an obvious one. If anything, it looks like THE one example of trying to follow Twilight's trail and being successful.

And I wouldn't be surprised if they stretch it out for some years. Without spoiling much, let me say that the 3rd book could be adapted into two movies, while the 2nd one barely being worth one.

I'm a little bit sad that everything that Hollywood's turning into movies almost sounds like plots for short stories I was writing in Junior High when I should have been studying.

Short of that, I'm apprehensive for Warm Bodies. I kind of wish the Funny or Die sketch about When Harry Met Sally 2 was more real then a love story with zombies.

Although, here I am complaining about a love story with Zombies when Shaun of the Dead did it first and did it best, so who knows? Maybe I'm a grumpy old man already.

The only thing Twilight related I would watch is a Spin-off revolving around the Volturi.

Im totally serious! I would love to see a movie staring Micheal Sheen just mincing to the camera. It'd be fucking awesome.

Antonio Torrente:

Scarim Coral:
Honestly the only one that I'm going to dread in the future is the film adaption to 50 Shade of Grey which apparently is in the work.
Need I remind you that book originally start off as a Twilight fanfic.

If that movie ever comes up (still hoping it will end up in development hell but pretty sure it will still be made) I'm pretty sure they will cast those hacks from CW shows more specifically Gossip Girl.

Absolutionis:
I'm surprised that The Hunger Games wasn't mentioned. It's yet another blandly written love-triangle book series with an inexplicably "special" female lead based on a mythos mostly ripped from other sources. I guess the only thing it's lacking is monsters.

For some reason my straight A younger sister likes Hunger Games.
The mythos you are talking about is Battle Royale. Which its author claims she didn't even know BR when writing it. Yeah, typical American plagiarism. I'm surprised she gotten away and made a crapton of money with it.

Of course they are going to make a 50 Shades of Grey Quadrology (they will split the third book in two), they will do anything to prevent development hell, since it will bring stupid amounts of money to the studios, so getting it out as fast as possible is the best option, and they will hire the prettiest underwear models as actors, kind of like transformers. Welcome to hell.

My 22 year old brother Straight A brother and his girlfriend also likes the Hunger Games, guess Straight A people don't have a lot of time to develop good taste.

canadamus_prime:

DVS BSTrD:
If at first you do succeed
Twi, Twi, Twi again.

Yep that's Hollywood for you.

Incidentally, that Warm Bodies looks incredibly stupid, at least based on the scene where the zombie "falls" for the girl. Oh god... *facepalm*

I laughed harder at the scene in "Beautiful Creatures" where the table began to spin and the ladies are debating- until one of them screams which was utterly hilarious to me.

"She's already closer to the darkness then I was!"
"I want you out of here-"
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

lol wut.

hermes200:

Falterfire:
I'll third the surprise that Hunger Games wasn't mentioned at all. It completely fits the whole 'appealing to teenage girls' thing and has the added bonus of having already had one very successful movie. Obviously with only 3 books total it won't be the Next Big Thing for many years, but I think it's got a pretty good shot at least for the next year or two.

I am also surprised, and was kind of expecting it as an obvious one. If anything, it looks like THE one example of trying to follow Twilight's trail and being successful.

And I wouldn't be surprised if they stretch it out for some years. Without spoiling much, let me say that the 3rd book could be adapted into two movies, while the 2nd one barely being worth one.

Well maybe because the first movie of the Quadrology is out (They are going to make it a quadrology since Harry Potter and Twilight did it) it's not what's on the horizon as the video said, rather it's what's popular right now. They are going to strech it until 2015 at the least.

Caramel Frappe:

canadamus_prime:

DVS BSTrD:
If at first you do succeed
Twi, Twi, Twi again.

Yep that's Hollywood for you.

Incidentally, that Warm Bodies looks incredibly stupid, at least based on the scene where the zombie "falls" for the girl. Oh god... *facepalm*

I laughed harder at the scene in "Beautiful Creatures" where the table began to spin and the ladies are debating- until one of them screams which was utterly hilarious to me.

"She's already closer to the darkness then I was!"
"I want you out of here-"
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

lol wut.

I might actually like to see that one... maybe. Although that Mortal Instruments did actually look interesting. ...except for the love triangle part.

Just remember, people... Breaking Dawn part 2 opened to $141 million.... while Dredd opened to around $6 million.

You have no one to blame but yourselves.

More Twilight-esc movies...

...great

image

canadamus_prime:

DVS BSTrD:
If at first you do succeed
Twi, Twi, Twi again.

Yep that's Hollywood for you.

Incidentally, that Warm Bodies looks incredibly stupid, at least based on the scene where the zombie "falls" for the girl. Oh god... *facepalm*

It looks stupid in that really corny/cheesy kind of hilarious way.

Like they're going for that it seems, which can either go wildly right or horribly wrong.

rayen020:

Kumagawa Misogi:

MetalMagpie:

Here's the very short version:

'

Yo Dawg. I've heard you like a plot twist. So let me put a plot twist in your plot twist so you can twist the plot while twisting the plot.

Frostbite3789:

canadamus_prime:

DVS BSTrD:
If at first you do succeed
Twi, Twi, Twi again.

Yep that's Hollywood for you.

Incidentally, that Warm Bodies looks incredibly stupid, at least based on the scene where the zombie "falls" for the girl. Oh god... *facepalm*

It looks stupid in that really corny/cheesy kind of hilarious way.

Like they're going for that it seems, which can either go wildly right or horribly wrong.

I'm thinking horribly wrong, esp considering certain other inevitable scenes... *shiver*

Trishbot:
Just remember, people... Breaking Dawn part 2 opened to $141 million.... while Dredd opened to around $6 million.

You have no one to blame but yourselves.

Yeah kind of sad. Wonder if it's a good thing or a bad thing that Hollywood doesn't or can't try to cash in other fandoms. Twilight is horrible, but on the other hand comic book movies are getting to be quite good. Personally my preferred medium is fantasy, which outside of Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones (the HBO treatment here is awesome!) it's mostly overlooked.

These books tend to be much bigger than their teen fiction counterparts, so it's probably better to go the HBO method rather than the movie method, which unfortunately loses a lot of budget. If it did get picked up more though one that would probably work well for movies is the Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn Trilogy.

JoaoJatoba:

rayen020:

Kumagawa Misogi:

'

Yo Dawg. I've heard you like a plot twist. So let me put a plot twist in your plot twist so you can twist the plot while twisting the plot.

they are not ________ and ______, by blood, father adopted him do to guilt over his experiments, however she does have a ________ by birth. All this happens in the 3rd book.

On the Mortal Instruments twist

**SPOILERS***

Worked for Star Wars

***END SPOILERS***

Honestly, one of my favorite gothic horror novels - Dhampire, by Scott Baker, had a very similar twist - and then went on for another 100 pages, sex included. Still somehow worked for me, as at that point it went to fucked up world.

I can't believe someone chose a zombie of all monsters to put in a romantic movie. Vampires have superpowers. Zombies can, um... shuffle, and survive dismemberment. I bet the ladies love guys who can do that.

When you mentioned that scifi movie, I was so sure you were going to say the parasite fell in love with its host. That could actually be kind of interesting. Its forcing its host to do all these auto-erotic things and forcing the host to love it while trying to cope with the fact that it is overriding the hosts will and is as such not treating its lover with love.

What it actually is does not sound interesting to me at all though.

All is forgiven, all I ask now is an ancient Egyptian deity romance flick. Like... Not-Bella and Anubis hooking up to preserve cosmic balance against Lovecraftian horrors.

Bloody hell, suppose if you want anything done properly, you'll have to do it yourself...

Kristin Stewart should play a zombie in one of these movies. Imagine the money they'd save on make-up

FelixG:

Absolutionis:
I'm surprised that The Hunger Games wasn't mentioned. It's yet another blandly written love-triangle book series with an inexplicably "special" female lead based on a mythos mostly ripped from other sources. I guess the only thing it's lacking is monsters.

It had the tracker-jack uber bees and those wolf...things at the end I suppose?

I too am surprised that it didnt get a mention here

Not to speak for Bob, but I'm guessing he left that off because the first Hunger Games movie was already released, whereas the stuff he covered is upcoming.

Did that zombie romance film remind anyone else of Fallout?

With the sentient and feral ghouls it just seems obvious.

DVS BSTrD:
If at first you do succeed
Twi, Twi, Twi again.

*slow clap* I should not be laughing at this. You should not be encouraged.

Absolutionis:
I'm surprised that The Hunger Games wasn't mentioned. It's yet another blandly written love-triangle book series with an inexplicably "special" female lead based on a mythos mostly ripped from other sources. I guess the only thing it's lacking is monsters.

If it weren't for his inclusion of The Host I would suspect Bob gave it a bye because it wasn't a supernatural romance. I would like to think he didn't include it because its better quality, though he pretty much panned the movie. I found Hunger Games to be very well written (as best I can judge given that I'm neither in the target age nor gender demographics), though IMHO the first book was stronger than its sequels.

Abandon4093:
They're called Nephilim.

If you're going to used established races, don't make up random names for them to make them sound cooler. The sons/daughters of man and angel are called the Nephilim. No shadow-sausages, or whatever two words you crammed together to make them sound cool.

Nephilim. Say it with me now, Nephilim.

Easy there, hoss. People make up new names all the time and with good reason - maybe this author didn't want to use a word freighted with meaning from the Old Testament. Consider how comic fanboys react when someone messes up an origin story. If I was an author writing pulp fantasy I'd probably cross to the other side of the proverbial street to avoid a confrontation with bible fanboys. Or maybe it was to clarify - a quick wikipedia check of the word means that one translation that's been passed down simply means 'giants' or 'fallen warriors'. And while Nephilim is indeed a name given to the children of angels and men, I suspect there are words from other cultures which are no less on the mark. So, you know. Chill.

Screamarie:
I love how everyone just comes together to rip on what the teenage girls like. [snip] It just pisses me off a tad whenever I hear nerds complain about getting bullied or teased for what they like then turn right around and bully or tease others for what they like.

Seconded. It'd take a lot of rhetorical wind out of people's sails but arguments would be a lot more clear if people 'fessed up when they knew they weren't part of the intended audience when posting online. Everyone's still entitled to opinions but if IRL I complain that Justin Beiber doesn't do much for me as a pop star, I'm just going to get I bunch of weird looks. Because yeah, the music might be insipid but I'm not a tweenage girl so, you know. I should fuckaway off and find something I do like.

Harker067:
Anyone else hear shadowhunter and start thinking Gabriel Knight? :P

I went to Sandman Slim, personally, but I grok the reference.

jmarquiso:
On the Mortal Instruments twist

**SPOILERS***

Worked for Star Wars

***END SPOILERS***

Honestly, one of my favorite gothic horror novels - Dhampire, by Scott Baker, had a very similar twist - and then went on for another 100 pages, sex included. Still somehow worked for me, as at that point it went to fucked up world.

best i can put it with getting into the spoiler details

Instead of finding what the next Twilight will be, why don't we find what the next Avengers Saga will be, or some other good movie series.

brazuca:
That is the entertainment industry 101. Chicks got their love history thing and boys get CoD. Seriously just CoD.

No, not only that, guys also get all kinds of shit from others for being "immature idiot man-boys" by enjoying entertainment with violence or something that involves attractive women (been getting it from a lot of gaming columnists and videos lately too unfortunately).

That stuff is wrong, but middle-aged women publicly forming groups dedicated to lusting after hunky shirtless under-age teenage guys in romance-porn is fine.
image

All I could think about when Bob showed that clip at the beginning was Saxton Hale. It should have a text box that reads "COUGAR TACKLE!" or something.

DISREGARD POST

I say fuck all this. Ridiculous. If anyone wants some badass psychotic love triangle action set supernaturally feel free to join me in watching TrueBlood. At least it has ultra violence and tits.

I looked up that twist at the end of City of Bones (Mortal Instruments) and as for how mainstream audiences will handle it, I have to point out (POSSIBLE SPOILERS i guess) that star wars did it so its not that big of a stretch.

I was kind of sad when I saw Mortal Instruments, for one moment I though he was talking about the Mortal Engines quartet and I was thinking "Holy shit, a film about moving cities eating each other, its going to be awesome"

I can still dream.

Elijah Newton:

Abandon4093:
They're called Nephilim.

If you're going to used established races, don't make up random names for them to make them sound cooler. The sons/daughters of man and angel are called the Nephilim. No shadow-sausages, or whatever two words you crammed together to make them sound cool.

Nephilim. Say it with me now, Nephilim.

Easy there, hoss. People make up new names all the time and with good reason - maybe this author didn't want to use a word freighted with meaning from the Old Testament. Consider how comic fanboys react when someone messes up an origin story. If I was an author writing pulp fantasy I'd probably cross to the other side of the proverbial street to avoid a confrontation with bible fanboys. Or maybe it was to clarify - a quick wikipedia check of the word means that one translation that's been passed down simply means 'giants' or 'fallen warriors'. And while Nephilim is indeed a name given to the children of angels and men, I suspect there are words from other cultures which are no less on the mark. So, you know. Chill.

If you're spinning a yarn from the Judeo-Christian ball, then you may aswell stick with the vernacular.

It's like writing a story in the Lovecraft universe and then calling 'Dagon' 'the almighty fish' or something.

I'm not saying they need to stick to their inspiration/source material verbatim. It'd be awfully dry if they did.

But don't go and reinvent the wheel. If you're having angels and demons and calling them angels and demons. Don't then go and take the Nephilim and call then shadowhunters because it sounds angstier.

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