Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

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FelixG:
I feel the need to point out

Well, the Obama only sinks if you kinda suck at the game, funnily enough...

I see what they did there. VERY SUBTLE Black Ops developers!

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
Wow, worst review EVER! Any professional review would give this game, the most amazing in history, a 90-100 or 4/5. Every single part of this game is new and interesting and amazing, you're inability to recognize that demonstrates how bad you are at reviewing. When COD:B03 comes out in 2 years you can correct you mistake by giving it a 90-100 like every other reviewer will. Be sure to do the same for COD:MW4, COD:MW5, COD:BO4, COD:MW6, etc. They will ALL be amazing and look amazing and just be more amazing then the amazingly amazing game that came before. In fact they'll be so amazing they'll amaze you into an amazement coma of amazement.

Well, Yahtzee isn't a "reviewer" and doesn't put out reviews. He's a critic and critiques games.

Besides, axe the mulitplayer (which matters nothing to myself and Yahtzee) and all modern military shooters are incredibly short adrenaline-fueled garbage.

Also, you need to tone it down, your trolling isn't very effective when it is laid on that thick.

Connor Lonske:
i like how zero punctuation for a big game like Call of Duty or Halo comes out about a week or two so after the game in question comes out, hence meaning his opinion and critique on the game falls on ether deaf ears because they already played the game or never were going to anyways.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/3540-Hunted-The-Demons-Forge THAT should answer your question:
He doesn't have a time-machine. Unlike normal reviewers, who usually get the game pre-release, he gets them only on release, spends a week playing them and then a week writing the review and making the video. Ergo, he needs normally two weeks per game.

Least it still have the fun zombie mini game?

Fantastic Review. A pity it and its sequels will still probably earn more money than many nation's GDP.

What actually is wrong with everyone?

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
Wow, worst review EVER! Any professional review would give this game, the most amazing in history, a 90-100 or 4/5. Every single part of this game is new and interesting and amazing, you're inability to recognize that demonstrates how bad you are at reviewing. When COD:B03 comes out in 2 years you can correct you mistake by giving it a 90-100 like every other reviewer will. Be sure to do the same for COD:MW4, COD:MW5, COD:BO4, COD:MW6, etc. They will ALL be amazing and look amazing and just be more amazing then the amazingly amazing game that came before. In fact they'll be so amazing they'll amaze you into an amazement coma of amazement.

ARCTIC_EAGLE:

finalizer:
Ah, I've been waiting for this roast with anticipation ever since the game had been released to obnoxious, undeserved praise by the larger chunk of gaming publications. Nice to see Yahtzee telling it like it is.

HOW CAN YOU SAY ITS UNDESERVED? God, why don't people understand that this game is God distilled into gold then converted into code? I rated COD:BO2 9001/10 because it was that good and not all the same game copy/pasted for the last 5 years.

Is this Poe's Law at work? I can't tell if you're a sarcastic joker or a blindly loyal fanboy.

Also:

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
I rated COD:BO2 9001/10

Obligatory reference in 3... 2... 1...

Connor Lonske:
i like how zero punctuation for a big game like Call of Duty or Halo comes out about a week or two so after the game in question comes out, hence meaning his opinion and critique on the game falls on ether deaf ears because they already played the game or never were going to anyways.

From what I understand, unlike the other big names in game reviews, Yahtzee doesn't get advance copies of games from the publishers (unsurprisingly, since you basically have to be giving them journalist fellatio to get in on that), so he has to wait until copies of the game arrive to stores near him, personally buy them, and then sit down and play them for a week before he can churn out his own review.

Falseprophet:

Andy Shandy:
Although he is definitely right about Tony Todd having an obsession with the word "cocksucker"

Clearly the game writers have been reading all of post-1994 Tom Clancy's works. You know, when Clancy turned shit and every third word of dialogue is "cocksucker", almost always immediately preceded by "that fucking".

Or, if you want to be even more depressed today, you could say that the inspiration for this came from Bulletstorm!

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
is that why COD:BO2 is the best selling in the COD franchise? Go back to your basement and let the real gamers enjoy the best game ever made, COD:BO2.

Actually, it is the best selling CoD in the franchise because
a) it is called "Call of Duty"
b) Activision pumps in probably about as much cash into the marketing as in the development itself

It has NOTHING to do with the quality of the game.

ZippyDSMlee:
Least it still have the fun zombie mini game?

Yes and no - Zombie mode is in it, but they decided to make it a full part of the game rather just a mini-game. Heck, on PC, you got the option to download the Zombie Mode without having to download the Singleplayer or Multiplayer.

This game got me thinking that the next "Just Cause" game would be really cool if it was futuristic.

I dig that he pointed out how horribly pedestrian the campaigns for FPSs have been this generation. Sure, people mostly spend time in multiplayer but considering they have two different COD franchises now, they should try doing something interesting with at least one of them; and yes that doesn't mean stapling (Tower Defense) minigames onto it. I wont write off strategy, but they should put a little more effort than that. Or how about an open world CoD like Far Cry or Fallout.

The thing is that I like playing CoD multiplayer but I got the last one and when I feel like playing a game like that, I'll play the last one. Changing up the SP campaign would probably be the best way of getting more people to buy every installment.

the tower defense is just one of the strike force missions...

ARCTIC_EAGLE:

RaikuFA:

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
Wow, worst review EVER! Any professional review would give this game, the most amazing in history, a 90-100 or 4/5. Every single part of this game is new and interesting and amazing, you're inability to recognize that demonstrates how bad you are at reviewing. When COD:B03 comes out in 2 years you can correct you mistake by giving it a 90-100 like every other reviewer will. Be sure to do the same for COD:MW4, COD:MW5, COD:BO4, COD:MW6, etc. They will ALL be amazing and look amazing and just be more amazing then the amazingly amazing game that came before. In fact they'll be so amazing they'll amaze you into an amazement coma of amazement.

I hate the fact that I'm gonna be the one to break it to you but...

A lot of people are getting sick of spunkgargleweewee. The bubble's about to burst. The only reason reviewers give them high scores is cause they get paid for them. BTW Santa ain't real.

is that why COD:BO2 is the best selling in the COD franchise? Go back to your basement and let the real gamers enjoy the best game ever made, COD:BO2.

Stop it, just stop it. My sides are in pain. My dog is looking at me strange now. You do know that most people that buy this stuff are dudebros and little bratty kids whos parents got it as a babysitting tool.

Storm Dragon:
Is this Poe's Law at work? I can't tell if you're a sarcastic joker or a blindly loyal fanboy.

If ARCTIC EAGLE's parodying a review troll, they're exceptionally committed to the character. If so, I commend them.

If not, they must be extremely new around here.

CAPTCHA: have an inkling

Don't we just?

I'm thinking of changing my user name to "Hooky Wingsuit," but I don't know what kind of racist he is. Any thoughts?

So the guy with the bag on his head is like the raven girl from Resident Evil 5.

Anyone with half a brain would figure out her identity the second

For some reason this video just didn't do it for me. On the one hand it feels like Yahtzee didn't go far enough with the bad, but on the other it feels like there are parts where he didn't give credit, even if it was something small. I think the white privilege part worked for a bit, but was perhaps a little bit more drawn out then what I expected. I don't know, it actually feels kind of expected at this point.

I enjoyed it. I don't know if that makes me uncool, or wrong, or too mainstream to be allowed to have a worthy opinion, but its the truth. I thought it wouldn't be that great, like MW3, but black ops 1 had a good story and I loved the cold war black ops stuff and the cool retro toys like the SR-71. In this one its the same except theres even cooler toys in the future, and just having the knowledge that you can fail a mission and thats it, its part of the story now, made it so refreshing. I really wanted to complete certain objectives and thought I played it how I wanted to. They've woven set pieces in with player-driven narrative, put together with CoDs still unbeatable gameplay mechanics and it really is a very good game. THIS one. Not all CoDs. This one, MW1 and BO1 were very good. The rest you can miss out.

Also Yahtzee does satire, not reviews, so people who are saying "Finally, he tells it like it is!" don't be so pessimistic just because a game is successful commercially. Plus I don't know why he spent most of the time talking about racism, he might as well have said the game was "gay" and so is "ur mum".

LiquidGrape:
I do love it when Yahtzee tears into the socio-political implications of a game. Amazing rant on white privilege in this one.

Oh dear. This could be trouble.

*Tosses you a flame shield then runs for higher ground*

Shiro No Uma:
I'm thinking of changing my user name to "Hooky Wingsuit," but I don't know what kind of racist he is. Any thoughts?

About whether you should do it, or what kind of racist he is?

Storm Dragon:

Is this Poe's Law at work? I can't tell if you're a sarcastic joker or a blindly loyal fanboy.

I think rating it OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!!! is probably enough to put this in parody territory.

Shame I really wanted this game not to suck
Well, back to TES5:Skyrim then :(

P.S. I could start my usual rant about Activision and sequel to Battlezone2, but screw it I have more important things to do :(

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
I bet you haters just suck at the game and are mad that most people are better than you. This game makes Spec Ops look like crap from 20 years ago, BO is the most advanced game ever.

You have certainly seem to have changed your tune since the original escapist review was put out. I believe you said...

"mindless, same-old-same-old, built 5 years ago, yet somehow able to get 4/5. I find it interesting that reviewers are willing to give COD:BO2 4/5 or 90-100 even though its the same game for 5 years but won't give MOH:W anything above a 60...but ya its legit."

OT: not surprised by the review, i borrowed it from a friend who decided to get it, and once again the only part of the game i felt had evolved was the zombies.

RaikuFA:

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
Wow, worst review EVER! Any professional review would give this game, the most amazing in history, a 90-100 or 4/5. Every single part of this game is new and interesting and amazing, you're inability to recognize that demonstrates how bad you are at reviewing. When COD:B03 comes out in 2 years you can correct you mistake by giving it a 90-100 like every other reviewer will. Be sure to do the same for COD:MW4, COD:MW5, COD:BO4, COD:MW6, etc. They will ALL be amazing and look amazing and just be more amazing then the amazingly amazing game that came before. In fact they'll be so amazing they'll amaze you into an amazement coma of amazement.

I hate the fact that I'm gonna be the one to break it to you but...

A lot of people are getting sick of spunkgargleweewee. The bubble's about to burst. The only reason reviewers give them high scores is cause they get paid for them. BTW Santa ain't real.

You just fed the troll mate.

Don't feed the trolls. They live off the attention and rage, that and whatever grows under the bridge they live at. Mostly the attention and rage though.

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
I bet you haters just suck at the game and are mad that most people are better than you. This game makes Spec Ops look like crap from 20 years ago, BO is the most advanced game ever.

You know what...I do suck at it. Want to know why? Because I would never lower myself to even attempting to play this piece of trash.

There's a theme that's become more and more apparent lately in Yahtzee's work--mean-spirit towards the US, hatred of all things particularly associated with the US, false association of guns with gun-nuts.

Anyways, I got bored and had to do something else.

Nihlus2:

You just fed the troll mate.

Don't feed the trolls. They live off the attention and rage, that and whatever grows under the bridge they live at. Mostly the attention and rage though.

People never learn.

LiquidGrape:
I do love it when Yahtzee tears into the socio-political implications of a game. Amazing rant on white privilege in this one.

Especially when it's barely there to tear into...

CentralScrtnzr:
There's a theme that's become more and more apparent lately in Yahtzee's work--mean-spirit towards the US, hatred of all things particularly associated with the US, false association of guns with gun-nuts.

Anyways, I got bored and had to do something else.

In fairness, when America stops making midless racist pro-imperlist America Fuck Yeah games where the main goal is to protect America from any arab or russian that looks at the US funny, he'll probably stop complaning about them.

I'm sad he didn't mention that Activision hired a war criminal to advertise this game for them.

Gearhead mk2:

CentralScrtnzr:
There's a theme that's become more and more apparent lately in Yahtzee's work--mean-spirit towards the US, hatred of all things particularly associated with the US, false association of guns with gun-nuts.

Anyways, I got bored and had to do something else.

In fairness, when America stops making midless racist pro-imperlist America Fuck Yeah games where the main goal is to protect America from any arab or russian that looks at the US funny, he'll probably stop complaning about them.

So never?

After MW3 I just had enough of the series. After Oliver North was announced as a consultant, I just said "nope.avi" and went back to my backlog of books.

Can we get over this fallacy of liking something I don't like makes you an idiot?

cyvaris:

Gearhead mk2:

CentralScrtnzr:
There's a theme that's become more and more apparent lately in Yahtzee's work--mean-spirit towards the US, hatred of all things particularly associated with the US, false association of guns with gun-nuts.

Anyways, I got bored and had to do something else.

In fairness, when America stops making midless racist pro-imperlist America Fuck Yeah games where the main goal is to protect America from any arab or russian that looks at the US funny, he'll probably stop complaning about them.

So never?

Yeah, prettymuch. I hate humanity sometimes...

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