Zero Punctuation: Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

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Gorumgol:
I'm sad he didn't mention that Activision hired a war criminal to advertise this game for them.

Woah, I hadn't heard about that, could you please link to the sauce?

That's a lot of white guilt you're carrying around there Yahtzee.

Church185:

Gorumgol:
I'm sad he didn't mention that Activision hired a war criminal to advertise this game for them.

Woah, I hadn't heard about that, could you please link to the sauce?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm5PZGb3OyQ

If you don't know who this guy is, well here's his story in a funny song form:

http://www.heavy.com/comedy/comedy-videos/funny-videos/2010/11/american-dad-oliver-north-song/

RJ 17:

Assassin Xaero:
I didn't know who it was with the bag over their head...

It was pretty easy to tell, you just have to pay attention to the cutscenes throughout the mission of Old Man Woods telling the story. It's pretty clear that "that person" didn't make it through the mission, furthermore I believe it's the cutscene just before the deed is done that David Mason says "Tell me that fat greaseball didn't do him in." to which Woods says "It didn't go down like that kid." And then you play "that part" of the mission...pretty obvious by that point who the dude with the bag on his head was. That's why I didn't go for a headshot! :3 and got a good ending for it.

Ahh, that makes sense considering that was the one cut scene I did skip... or maybe I was checking my phone... Figures...

Gorumgol:

Church185:

Gorumgol:
I'm sad he didn't mention that Activision hired a war criminal to advertise this game for them.

Woah, I hadn't heard about that, could you please link to the sauce?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm5PZGb3OyQ

If you don't know who this guy is, well here's his story in a funny song form:

http://www.heavy.com/comedy/comedy-videos/funny-videos/2010/11/american-dad-oliver-north-song/

Does that make it interesting that the main motivation for the villain for hating America is because of the actions of the Contras?

You know what screw this shit. I'm tired of Cod and BF getting shit on by Yahtzee everytime one comes out, so I'll say this "fuck serious sam" . I picked up SS3 during the steam sale and you want to know what's freaking boring and uninteresting? Walking through a deserted town for ten minutes with no indication on where to got and finding only one enemy and tapping the "Kill Shit" melee button to get past him.

Else I picked up Painkiller as well. It bored me just as much as SS3 did. I couldn't quit fast enough to play TF2. This made realise a couple things. One, Yahtzee has extremely opposite tastes to my own when it comes to shooters. BulletStorm, Borderlands 1 & 2, CoD:BO2, even Duke Nukem Forever he trashes all of these and I personally enjoyed every single one as opposed to his recommendations And two a game can have as many unique and colorful enemies and guns as is possible to fit on the disc, yet still turn out to be shit. i.e. Painkiller

Gorumgol:

Church185:

Gorumgol:
I'm sad he didn't mention that Activision hired a war criminal to advertise this game for them.

Woah, I hadn't heard about that, could you please link to the sauce?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm5PZGb3OyQ

If you don't know who this guy is, well here's his story in a funny song form:

http://www.heavy.com/comedy/comedy-videos/funny-videos/2010/11/american-dad-oliver-north-song/

...ok, that's just freaking DESPICABLE. Have you no shame Treyarch?!

Gorumgol:

Church185:

Gorumgol:
I'm sad he didn't mention that Activision hired a war criminal to advertise this game for them.

Woah, I hadn't heard about that, could you please link to the sauce?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm5PZGb3OyQ

If you don't know who this guy is, well here's his story in a funny song form:

http://www.heavy.com/comedy/comedy-videos/funny-videos/2010/11/american-dad-oliver-north-song/

Thank you, seems like this guy was selling weapons to Iran a long time ago. I learned something today.

Oh how this reminded me of the Yahtzee of old... brings a nostalgic tear to the eye!

This game is not racist and the villain is shown as sympathetic.
The two guys in your unit who turn on you have good reasons.


The Lahore level also raises some doubts because of all the fake Arabic despite the Pakistani soldiers speaking Urdu in a proper Punjabi accent and they are actually talking about the downed drone like your partner tells you.They could have asked the voice actors to give them some Urdu words, they could have used Google to check what Lahore looked like but instead they used fake Arabic for a country where almost no one actually speaks Arabic. Thinking like this would be like us thinking all Catholics speak and write Latin.
The only Arabic word that CoD has gotten right is "Rose" which is apparently the name of a franchise store in CoD world's Muslim areas because it shows up in almost every CoD game.
In Battlefield 3, the Arabic word for Hotel (Fandaq) is correct and so are several other pieces of written Arabic and Farsi.

lord.jeff:
Can we get over this fallacy of liking something I don't like makes you an idiot?

Get over it?!? Hell it appears to be picking up steam every day. Pretty soon we will just be reenacting the opening scene of Gangs of New York whenever somebody likes something another person doesn't.

Hmm, didn't even mention Zombies or Multiplayer.

When that is all ANYONE ELSE is talking about and pretty much the entire reason for the series success. Seriously, hardly anyone gives a shit about the single player.

Serious now: did I miss the memo when he said he categorically refuses to consider multiplayer, because he didn't state anything like that since he reviewed the ONLINE GAME of DayZ only 2 months ago.

That's not fair Ben, I only play this for the multi player pfttt, this is no longer valid argument. Oh I miss the old days of playing shooter game while having fun.

Treblaine:
Hmm, didn't even mention Zombies or Multiplayer.

When that is all ANYONE ELSE is talking about and pretty much the entire reason for the series success. Seriously, hardly anyone gives a shit about the single player.

Serious now: did I miss the memo when he said he categorically refuses to consider multiplayer, because he didn't state anything like that since he reviewed the ONLINE GAME of DayZ only 2 months ago.

you must have missed yatzee's memo about multiplayer in games. If your only selling point is just multiplayer then you are doing it wrong. A fps game needs a strong single player campaign to stand on it's and engage you with a compelling story.

Connor Lonske:
i like how zero punctuation for a big game like Call of Duty or Halo comes out about a week or two so after the game in question comes out, hence meaning his opinion and critique on the game falls on ether deaf ears because they already played the game or never were going to anyways.

i also wonder why that is and who's causing it. both it being the work of yahtzee or the escapist seem equally likely, although i'm pretty sure if it's yahtzee who causes these games to be reviewed so late after release it's likely for him having a fucked up crazy schedule and nothing else.

and obviously i have nothing to say about the escapist staff at all nor am i implying anything. those guys sure are great. totally not sold ou-*is shot by an assassin before i can finish my sentence*

People want to see Yahtzee rip games to shreds in the most entertaining way possible and the mere mention of codblops in a slightly controversial fashion is sure to summon a Flamewar of Ad Revenue Attraction.

I don't see the big mystery here. Yahtzee's doing 5-minute rundowns touching on some negative parts in funny ways, not complex and balanced analyses.

Also, help from Moviebob on Oliver North:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2l9jnevggnc

Church185:

Gorumgol:

Church185:

Woah, I hadn't heard about that, could you please link to the sauce?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm5PZGb3OyQ

If you don't know who this guy is, well here's his story in a funny song form:

http://www.heavy.com/comedy/comedy-videos/funny-videos/2010/11/american-dad-oliver-north-song/

Thank you, seems like this guy was selling weapons to Iran a long time ago. I learned something today.

To be fair it was back in the day when the Iranians and Iraqis were fighting against each other and the communists

LiquidGrape:
I do love it when Yahtzee tears into the socio-political implications of a game. Amazing rant on white privilege in this one.

Wow I've never heard people whine about white privilege before. Its pretty exiting and edgy. Please tell me more about POC first world problems. Yatzee is risking his job by having such dangerous political opinions!

Yatzee appears to be morphing into another Bob Chipman. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.

Never played a Call of Duty game. Keeping that trend going. Just bought The Witcher 2 instead on Cyber Monday. Huzzah!

MacNille:
Well, what a suprise here. Yahtzee hating a Modern Military shooter? Who would have thought? This is like that it has never ever happen before. Now I must go down on my knee and blow him as he show me the right way. You know what Yahtzee? Fuck you and fuck your fans who blow you at every conner. This mindless hate for COD is starting to get old. Do I love COD? Nope. Do I hate COD as all your mindless fucking fans do? No! I feel that COD is alright for me.

What is that I see in the sky? A banhammer coming down?

Oh, get off your high horse. You know what what is just about as overplayed than the COD hate-train? Acting a martyr whenever it is brought up.

Duo Oratar:
It is slightly hypocritical to say that white people were randomly selected to be born the most privileged people on the planet and saying we can't complain about racism against us in the same breath. Yes us being privileged is something we're born into, but so is the whole history of oppressing the blacks thing. I have every right to complain about them being racist towards whites because just as I didn't do anything to deserve the privilege, I didn't do anything to deserve the racism either, I was born into this position and it was my ancestors who did the oppressing, not me.

It is a bit more complex than that. I feel this pretty much sums it up:

image

Isn't this the game with the baby AT-ATs? I'm surprised Yahtzee didn't mention that, as a sign of the developers wanting to make more fun games.

NameIsRobertPaulson:
Can you tell Yahtzee is sick of the these games yet? This was half review, half political bender.

All the things he's complained about since Modern Warfare 2 are still in these games, so imagine he has to go on tangents such as political benders in order to create a full-length review.

zvate:
Fantastic Review. A pity it and its sequels will still probably earn more money than many nation's GDP.

What actually is wrong with everyone?

blackrave:
Shame I really wanted this game not to suck
Well, back to TES5:Skyrim then :(

P.S. I could start my usual rant about Activision and sequel to Battlezone2, but screw it I have more important things to do :(

Um... The game is actually really good. The Single-player actually has choice better then most RPGs by not making Black or White and doesn't always make it obvious that there is a choice which makes it feel more organic. Also in most levels the spaces are big and usually give options to flank and even in some cases more then one path then a corridor.

Also like how he forgets to mention you can ally with the Chinese in the game, one of the major characters is Middle Eastern, and that one of the villians is also White. :/

I love how spunkgargleweewee has become an official genre. I would actually pay good money to see this outside of ZP. Can you imagine a game review in gamespot (or wherever you prefer) saying something like "it's actually not bad for a spunkgargleweewee game."

nice to see I'm not the only one feeling uneasy about the shameless xenophobia in these games

Mmm, oldschool Yahtzee review. I've missed the insane analogies, wacky conclusions drawn from reasonable arguments and just general joy that he seems to take in kicking terrible games in the gonads. This episode was fantastic.

Have to love how he spends the whole review ragging on the game and saying that anyone who plays it is a complete moron but then right below the video are links to buy the game at all the popular retailers.

Yay credibility!

-edit-

And just to be clear, I'm not trying to call Yahtzee out for not liking the game, it's just silly that he spends five minutes telling us how awful the game is and then is shilling it to us (I can't even remember the last Call of Duty I played, Modern Warfare I think).

Either he's right, the game really is that bad, and The Escapist is trying to push bad games on us that they know is bad even though they gave it 4/5 stars or the game really is good and that's why they want to sell the game and Yahtzee wouldn't know a good game if it bit him in the ass.

Honestly, I lost faith in his reviews long ago, I only really watch them now because it's the end of lunch and I have five minutes to waste.

Gearhead mk2:

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
snip

Dude. Either you're a horribly unfunny troll, or you're the kind of moron that actually enjoys spunkgargleweewee. Either way, you're not welcxome here. Either play Spec Ops: The Line and get some perspective, or get out.

Also, I know this is a Halo song, but I still feel this is apropos given your attitude.

Insulting people for actually enjoying a type of game? That's completely uncalled for man. Come on.

OT: Eh...no offense Yahtzee, but that review was bland as Hell. Didn't laugh once. Also I kinda feel like there's a bit of a mob mentality going on around here with Yahtzee ranting about how much he hates modern warfare games and the people that play them and everyone going into a frenzy agreeing how much it sucks and insulting everyone that disagrees with them. It's rather unpleasant and kinda sickening.

Did he seriously say the camo was useless? I found it so game breaking that I stopped playing it because I ran through the whole level and didn't get shot once.

Blachman201:

MacNille:
Well, what a suprise here. Yahtzee hating a Modern Military shooter? Who would have thought? This is like that it has never ever happen before. Now I must go down on my knee and blow him as he show me the right way. You know what Yahtzee? Fuck you and fuck your fans who blow you at every conner. This mindless hate for COD is starting to get old. Do I love COD? Nope. Do I hate COD as all your mindless fucking fans do? No! I feel that COD is alright for me.

What is that I see in the sky? A banhammer coming down?

Oh, get off your high horse. You know what what is just about as overplayed than the COD hate-train? Acting a martyr whenever it is brought up.

Duo Oratar:
It is slightly hypocritical to say that white people were randomly selected to be born the most privileged people on the planet and saying we can't complain about racism against us in the same breath. Yes us being privileged is something we're born into, but so is the whole history of oppressing the blacks thing. I have every right to complain about them being racist towards whites because just as I didn't do anything to deserve the privilege, I didn't do anything to deserve the racism either, I was born into this position and it was my ancestors who did the oppressing, not me.

It is a bit more complex than that. I feel this pretty much sums it up:

image

You're right, that comic does show the complexities of the topic. I especially like the part in panel 4, where the second white man shows up has a bloody and destructive fight with the first one, eventually pulling him off that perch, and removes the ball and chain. I know you can't see all that, but it must be there because the comic is so complex, or it just passes over all that by having the shackle magically fall off on it's own, which ever.

Using slaves wasn't working out so well for the south while it was allowed, and really didn't work out for them in the long run. The north was far more economically prosperous pre-civil war. Not to mention that it was only a small group of rich whites that ever owned slaves, so the vast majority of even southerners were innocent of this. It's not like slaves would have had befitted from them, unless you think sweatshop workers help the average worker in china.

It should be pointed out, that Slavery wasn't unique to America/Europe, it was a sad truth everywhere in the world from as far back as you want to go, right up to abolitionist movements of England and America.

You guys replying to ARTIC EAGLES comments realise he fucking with you... seriously, you realise that, right? Or are you just playing into it for giggles... please tell me thats what your doing... *weeps* I CAN'T TELL!!!

Andy Shandy:

Although he is definitely right about Tony Todd having an obsession with the word "cocksucker"

god I hated him as well I'm so glad he gets killed

First off, I loved the game, and this is coming from someone who previously had no love for the franchise outside of Blops 1.

Secondly, I find it hilarious that the people on here who hate the franchise with such a deep passion come off as more immature and childish than the fanbase they love to hate. Don't some of you find that you're being a bit hypocritical when you call folks who liked the game morons yet you can't handle that fact like a grown-up?

ARCTIC_EAGLE:

RaikuFA:

ARCTIC_EAGLE:
Wow, worst review EVER! Any professional review would give this game, the most amazing in history, a 90-100 or 4/5. Every single part of this game is new and interesting and amazing, you're inability to recognize that demonstrates how bad you are at reviewing. When COD:B03 comes out in 2 years you can correct you mistake by giving it a 90-100 like every other reviewer will. Be sure to do the same for COD:MW4, COD:MW5, COD:BO4, COD:MW6, etc. They will ALL be amazing and look amazing and just be more amazing then the amazingly amazing game that came before. In fact they'll be so amazing they'll amaze you into an amazement coma of amazement.

I hate the fact that I'm gonna be the one to break it to you but...

A lot of people are getting sick of spunkgargleweewee. The bubble's about to burst. The only reason reviewers give them high scores is cause they get paid for them. BTW Santa ain't real.

is that why COD:BO2 is the best selling in the COD franchise? Go back to your basement and let the real gamers enjoy the best game ever made, COD:BO2.

Did you seriously just pull the "it has sold a lot so it must be good" card? By that logic Transformers: Dark of the Moon must be a masterpiece in film making seeing has it's the fifth highest grossing film of all time. It also means that Avatar is the best movie ever.

Still want to use that argument?

OT: This was one of the funnier reviews you've done in quite some time. I have no plans to get this game because I'm not really into the multiplayer or zombies and those are really the only reason you'd want it.

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