Zero Punctuation: Hitman: Absolution

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Hitman: Absolution

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Hitman: Absolution.

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Shitman: Crapsolution. No, not really, actually quite good.

~deleted~

Well, I've actually become more interested in Hitman: Blood Money as a result of this, but not Hitman: Absolution.
HURRAH FOR LOGIC!

The in-game score tracker is easily my biggest gripe about the gameplay. I literally would reset every time I was spotted or failed to be absolutely perfect because of the severe point loss for certain actions (like getting spotted or murdering civilians. The scoring system itself was fine, but having that bar in the upper hand corner just changed my motivations and techniques along a strict linear path.

Yahtzee, you know, that when even voices in your head tries to persuade you to attend the therapy, they are right!
And if furniture claims that you are insane it is also tight.

I hoped you wouldn't be too harsh on Absolution.It's a good game and it tries its best to combine classic Hitman gameplay with the gameplay of more conventional stealth-games to create a more varied and more storydriven experience.

Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.

come to think of it there is a destinct lack of games in the graphically dismembering theme park mascots in creative ways genre.. next on kick starter maybe?

I suppose a few good missions are better than nun.
And I didn't think Yahtzee would complain about sniper rifles being left out for you, considering he's so tigger happy.

Normally the action bit would deter me, but with both this and Dishonored on my Christmas list, I figure I'll have at least the best of both worlds: the somewhat more serious yet visually stylish stealth game and the somewhat cartoony yet realistic looking stealth action.

Yahtzee:
Several degrees better than a fish-skeleton down the cock-hole.

I think we've found our box-quote for the GOTY edition!

"Whoops! One hundred points from Gryffindor!"

fish bone in the cock hole? *insert Wunderboner reference here*

I wouldn't consider Hitman 2 the worst as quickly conveyed in this review. I have yet to play this one as I'm less enthused the more I hear and I love the series, even Contracts, which I'd consider the "worst" - emphasis on quotations.

Mattteus:
fish bone in the cock hole? *insert Wunderboner reference here*

My wife would like that.

OT: Why does everything stupid claim to be Grindhouse?

Stabby Joe:
I wouldn't consider Hitman 2 the worst as quickly conveyed in this review. I have yet to play this one as I'm less enthused the more I hear and I love the series, even Contracts, which I'd consider the "worst" - emphasis on quotations.

Can you say Contracts was the worst game, when every installment significantly improved upon its predecessor? Contracts sin wasn't that it was -bad- (it was still downright excellent), it was that it didn't revolutionise every single aspect of the game as much as Silent Assassin did - it merely improved it by leaps and bounds.

I'm glad you hold Blood Money as the best and Silent Assassin as the worst. The Hitman series is my favorite and I never got why everyone loved the second game so much.

I'm so happy that the Ocelot God appears regularly in the videos, and wasn't just a one-time joke.

Hm I found that quite fair and every gripe he had with the game I myself also have.
Though I am tending to enjoy that it is story driven (just the once thank you)
And might I also add that for the most part I am enjoying the game
despite its save system and disguises almost being useless.
And in the end I agree. No the best *waves at blood money* Not the worst *nods to the first game*
It's just good and I'm alright with that so long as nobody takes Hitman the way Ubisoft took Sam Fisher after Conviction O_o!!
Okay back to laughing at from this review.

"... several degrees better than a fish skeleton down the cock-hole"
My, did the Hour of Love from the Escapist Expo rub on you, Yahtzee? That is mighty praise!

AMMO Kid:
I'm glad you hold Blood Money as the best and Silent Assassin as the worst. The Hitman series is my favorite and I never got why everyone loved the second game so much.

I thought I disliked the Hitman games prior to watching this, but the only one I had played was Hitman 2, which I've now been informed was the worst in the series. Might give them another try

Anyone else think Yahtzee should review Playstation Allstars? I think we need another game like Brawl that will make Yahtzee go absoutely berserk. I don't think we've had one of those in a while.

Yahtzee:
Several degrees better than a fish-skeleton down the cock-hole.

Wow! That is high praise coming from Yahtzee, good on the developers! Ha ha ha, I kid. You would be hard pressed to impress the almost un-impressible. I played the game myself and it is pretty decent....not great mind you but I think the developers are on to something. I would encourage them to continue on this path and learn from their mistakes. Anyways, once again a great vid from Yahtzee...bringing smiles to my face every Wednesday.

Waaghpowa:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.

That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.

Anyway, good show Yahtzee.
Also, why are you so scared of theme park mascots? I remember from the review of Epic Mickey it had something to do with you going to Disney Land as a kid, right?

"Neither the worst or the best Hitman" Sums it up well. Since I like even the worst Hitman game (that's codename 47, IMO), I found it very enjoyable.

The Contracts mode was inspired by the Hitman community habit of posting fan-made contracts on forums and challenging other players to do them, and it's implemented quite well.

People complain about the new score system but it has been a part of every Hitman game since Silent Assassin. The only difference is that if you fucked something up, you know about it immediately and won't get disappointed when you find out you didn't get the score you were trying to get at the end of the level.

One thing that bugged me was the way that they implemented challenges and unlockables. I knew that they're there, but I didn't really feel their effect.

I'd say that it's the 3rd best Hitman game: Blood Money > Silent Assassin > Absolution > Contracts > Codename 47.

Imp Emissary:

Waaghpowa:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.

That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.

Why? Because he made an attempt to carve a chunk of his flesh off? Sounds like a better way to hide an easily identifiable marking than simply putting a piece of tap over it.

But I suppose that simply having a band aid in the spot where the bar code was might raise suspicion from people who are looking for a man who is supposed to have a bar code on the back of his head.

Waaghpowa:

Imp Emissary:

Waaghpowa:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.

That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.

Why? Because he made an attempt to carve a chunk of his flesh off? Sounds like a better way to hide an easily identifiable marking than simply putting a piece of tap over it.

But I suppose that simply having a band aid in the spot where the bar code was might raise suspicion from people who are looking for a man who is supposed to have a bar code on the back of his head.

I never got why he couldn't just start using wigs. Ever since I played the first game, I wondered if they'll implement it in the next game.

Waaghpowa:

Imp Emissary:

Waaghpowa:
Agent 47 actually has a band aid over his bar code because he attempts to cut it off, as shown in a cutscene.

That kind of makes the whole thing sound worse actually.

Why? Because he made an attempt to carve a chunk of his flesh off? Sounds like a better way to hide an easily identifiable marking than simply putting a piece of tap over it.

But I suppose that simply having a band aid in the spot where the bar code was might raise suspicion from people who are looking for a man who is supposed to have a bar code on the back of his head.

No. It's worse because that means he did a really crap job of cutting it of, seeing as you can still see it on either side of the band aid, or did that change?

If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.

Yes Yahtzee. Listen to your inner ocelot. Burn them. Burn them to the ground!

Mwahahaha!

Imp Emissary:
If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.

He wouldn't look like a bad ass if he wore a wig, imagine if he wore a Owen Wilson wig.

I was bitterly dissapointed with Absolution... until I switched to Purist difficulty and restarted the entire game and now I'm enjoying it.

I do miss the agency support, collecting and choosing weapons for the jobs and a few other features.
Absolution is 100% story driven and some expected Hitman gameplay features have been bent and bowed (or just removed) to fit that narrative.

We've been "off the books" with 47 before but this time we get not a single crumb of help from anyone, including the designers.

It's enjoyable enough story-wise (if a little... boombastic) as I did kinda care about the narrative running through the series and it feels more like Hitman when you play on Purist but even so, once I've finished the story and uploaded the most brutally impossible contract I can possibly create, I'll still be going back to Blood Money whenever I get the urge to play a random Hitman mission.

In fact what Absolution has mostly done is make me decide to get BM for the PC (my old copy is ps2) and dig out Hitman 2 and Codename 47 and play the whole saga all over again.

Big Fat Edit: ...oh and dudes, he didn't mutilate the barcode to HIDE anything.

Symbolisim ffs!

He did it for himself.

To symbolically feel that he has literally severed his connection to the agency.
Like a cop handing in his badge... except when your badge is inked into your head, you may need to take extreme measures.

It's a moment designed to let us see a little more of how 47 views himself as a person.
It's a warrior making a gesture to himself, a promise to himself and Diana and the girl marked in the only real currency he knows... blood and pain.

This is another major reason why games are being dumbed down... it's not always the developers or publishers who are to blame. >.>

It's always weird listening to Yahtzee's reviews of games I've never played and have no interest in either way. Especially when most of the core of the review is about comparing it to earlier iterations I didn't find interesting enough to try either. It's like you're missing half of the joke. Still, sounded like it was a competent review of the game, I guess.

Waaghpowa:

Imp Emissary:
If not I agree with the person saying; "Why can't he just put on a wig?". Because even if he did cut it off, I think he could still be soptted by the pretty big scar cutting it off would leave.

He wouldn't look like a bad ass if he wore a wig, imagine if he wore a Owen Wilson wig.

Liked the review and Absolution, but is anyone else annoyed about the pop-out video frame/ad that there is apparently no escape from, except the back button?

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