No Right Answer: Most Idiotic Fictitious Corporation Ever

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4th movie wasnt Weyland-Yutani.

DTWolfwood:
Umbrella really is the stupidest corporation ever. How is turning the world population into zombies be considered good for business?

Not sure myself what I'd considered the dumbest company, but you can't go wrong with either of these.

I'd have to say the dumbest corporation in fiction has to be the people who backed the science facility in Deep Blue Sea. This group of scientists were trying to find a cure for Alzheimer's. They did this by experimenting on mako sharks. The process involved making the brains of the sharks bigger. One of the UNEXPECTED side effects was the sharks became smarter.

I mean, this group of scientists must have submitted a proposal and this had to get approved. Whoever that company is, they're a bunch of idiots. It isn't like this was some rogue group of scientists. The company sent someone to the facility to monitor progress.

The scientists are a bunch of idiots and the company that backed them is even worse.

I remember watching this movie thinking, "Why sharks? Why not something harmless? Like sheep. What would be the worst thing to happen in a world with slightly smarter sheep?" I was like 13 at the time.

my god! did you people get wayland yutani all wrong!

ok first

wayland yutani doesn't want the aliens for weapons, they want to study the creature, it just happens that military scientific research funds is the best way to go

seconds Wayland yutani is presence in the movies is always external and we really don't know how much the company knows about the whole situation, since in the first alien they know about the alien but they didn't know a crap about them in aliens

wayland yutani is just metaphor for the danger of searching for the truth, not an evil greedy corporation like umbrella

Umbrella hands down. I don't see how having cities being run down by zombies only for the government to nuke it = profit. You're basically killing your customers, and having those customers kill other customers. In fact why did Wesker go with creating new devices and everything? He could of planted a lot of T-Virus gas into nukes and dropped them into every city and be pleased with his company ... doing something- even this plot I've made up doesn't make sense.

I somehow knew Umbrella would take home the prize on this one, even though they weren't involved in RE's 4-6, seeing as how not existing anymore throws a monkeywrench into those works. I lost count of how many non-numbered spinoffs there are so I can't say how much Umbrealla was in those. Who else could make it on to Topless Robot's Lists of Stupidest AND Most Evil Fictional Corporations?

On another note, who would be the dumbest Evil Empire in fiction? My vote goes to Panem from the Hunger Games trilogy, because the richest dress like fruits and making your youngest kill each other every year is just no way to run a state. MovieBob put it best in his Hunger Games review.

Since the two best picks were debated in the episode, I'll throw out two sympathy votes: World Aeronautics and Robotics (W.A.R.) from One Must Fall 2097; and Post Terran Minerals Corporation (PTMC) from Descent.

Why W.A.R.? Because their business model involved developing gigantic human-controlled robots to ostensibly do off-world mining, then converting their multi-billion dollar investments into Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Ignoring the fact the design of said robots are (lovably) horrible for any sort of actual work, converting your workforce to weekend brawlers seems like a disastrous waste of capital.

Why PTMC? Atrocious interior design and appalling human resources management (see: intro cutscene to Decent 2). End of story.

@Darth_Payn: I vote Holy Lodis Empire if for no other reason than Ogre Battle.

Both these answers are foolish. Weyland-Yutani? Umbrella?

PAH! There is one corporation dumber then them all, one corporation that's being headed by a mad man with no businesses sense.

I'm of course referring to Kaiba Corp from yugioh.

To those who haven't watched Yu-Gi-Oh, Kaiba corp started off as a rich weapons company. It was, apparently, one of the most powerful weapons companies of the Yu-Gi-Oh universe. Then, it's CEO decides to adopt an orphan (who later became "Seto Kaiba") and gave him training from hell to be the perfect heir... Then that young orphan outwits him by buying out all the stock he could and convincing the CEO's own executive board to support him. After that orphan who's, at best 12 years old gains complete control over the company he makes the brilliant business decision to... Shut down all weapons programs and replace it with a children's trading card game.

It gets even better, later he buys out a city to host a tournament, an entire city. He also apparently equips high-tech holographic devices to all the players for free, solely for the point of playing a card game.

Finally, he actually builds a university based around the card game. An actual university! And that city he bought out? It was all so he could acquire three rare trading cards.

Honestly, people like to joke about the characters in Yu-Gi-Oh freaking out over a children's card game? Yeah, well at least (most of) those characters didn't direct a billion dollar military industrial corporation to design those card games!

Yea Umbrella is the winner here. Weyland-Yutani aren't morons, they're greedy assholes. All 3 Alien movies (Not counting Resurrection cause it sucked) were W-Y's attempt to capture a live specimen and bring it back to find out how they can turn it into something profitable. They at least acknowledged they didn't know much, if anything, about the aliens. But they did know enough by Aliens that they were dangerous, hence sending in the marines. W-Y just wants to patent the aliens and are willing to throw a lot of lives away to achieve that. So yea, they're greedy assholes, but not stupid.

Umbrella Corp may have gone under, but isn't it true that pretty much every major bad corporation that kept makin fucked decisions was bein controlled or had Wesker of some form or another at the helm?

I mean, just because it isn't officially labeled Umbrella doesn't change the fact that the people who now control it are basically still Umbrella.

shintakie10:
Umbrella Corp may have gone under, but isn't it true that pretty much every major bad corporation that kept makin fucked decisions was bein controlled or had Wesker of some form or another at the helm?

I mean, just because it isn't officially labeled Umbrella doesn't change the fact that the people who now control it are basically still Umbrella.

That was only Tricell, and even then Wesker only worked for Umbrella, he was never in control of it. None of the people involved with running Umbrella were running Tricell. On account of being dead or wanted criminals. Even Wesker wasn't officially in charge of Tricell. Due to being legally dead and also a wanted criminal/terrorist.

I'm gonna vote for the United Aerospace Corporation (UAC) from the Doom series. They open a portal to hell during their experiments with teleportation technology and instead of shutting the project down they continue using it and in fact spread it across Mars and even bring it back to Earth all the while demons and various cybernetic nightmares pour through the portals and kill everyone or turn them into zombies. Probably not a sound business plan if you want to have living, paying customers for your goods.

Witty Name Here:
Both these answers are foolish. Weyland-Yutani? Umbrella?

PAH! There is one corporation dumber then them all, one corporation that's being headed by a mad man with no businesses sense.

I'm of course referring to Kaiba Corp from yugioh.

To those who haven't watched Yu-Gi-Oh, Kaiba corp started off as a rich weapons company. It was, apparently, one of the most powerful weapons companies of the Yu-Gi-Oh universe. Then, it's CEO decides to adopt an orphan (who later became "Seto Kaiba") and gave him training from hell to be the perfect heir... Then that young orphan outwits him by buying out all the stock he could and convincing the CEO's own executive board to support him. After that orphan who's, at best 12 years old gains complete control over the company he makes the brilliant business decision to... Shut down all weapons programs and replace it with a children's trading card game.

It gets even better, later he buys out a city to host a tournament, an entire city. He also apparently equips high-tech holographic devices to all the players for free, solely for the point of playing a card game.

Finally, he actually builds a university based around the card game. An actual university! And that city he bought out? It was all so he could acquire three rare trading cards.

Honestly, people like to joke about the characters in Yu-Gi-Oh freaking out over a children's card game? Yeah, well at least (most of) those characters didn't direct a billion dollar military industrial corporation to design those card games!

Yeah I always wondered how can someone afford to give out what had to be really expensive pieces of technology out for free to bunch of teenagers/creepy adults. Although from what I can tell the card game looks like the biggest form of entertainment on that world, like every sports level of popularity in one game sort of thing, so perhaps there was actual real money to be made there.

But then again it's a world whose fate is regularly determined based on the outcome of a card game and the luck of some dude with crazy as hell hair, so it's best not to overthink it. :p

Uh, did you guys play Resident Evil? Zombie outbreaks weren't part of a plan. They were accidents. Okay the first was retconned into sabotage by a deranged lab experiment, but still, the intent was controllable bio weapons like Hunters and Tyrants. The only intentional outbreak was in code veronica (by Wesker not Umbrella) where it didn't even do half bad as a weapon, as mindless stumbling zombies are easier to handle than armed guards.

Okay I'll give them stupid as both of the outbreaks were the result of their habit of permanently retiring their lab uys without accounting for their experiments in the process, and they seem to have zero in the way of plans for potential outbreaks (though a lot of that may have been Wesker sowing chaos before breaking from the company) so I'll still let them win this, but at least let it be for the right reasons.

FYI...you spelled Weyland-Yutani wrong in the beginning of the video. Not sure if anyone else caught it or if anyone even cares. Just throwing it out there.

synobal:
Ya I had to pick umbrella, at least we know Weyland can do SOMETHINGS right. Like Terraforming worlds etc. Umbrella on the other hand, I honestly don't think they have anything outside the whole zombies are good.

Outside of 4 or 5 the whole purpose or umbrella was mass corporatism that bulldozed through any smaller company or opposition that stood in their way. They owned more than 60 percent of raccoon city, provided people with jobs, great medicine and kept the economy following and no one was brave enough to stand up to them. Under their evil mask they where a bio weapon manf. doing inhumane experiments for high profit on the black market while people just turned away at the site of money and progress of science.

Yes I'm a resident evil fan boy and that was the main intention of the story for people to stand up greedy corporatism or it could lead a horrible horrible disaster. If I could compare any company in our world to umbrella I think wal-mart fits their bill and quite frankly they scare the hell out of me. Please keep in mind I'm not talking about making massive weapons for war or zombies just the overall corporatism that umbrella stood for.

Well, I think the problem with evil corperations is that they are frequently combined with a conspiricy-thriller mentality where the mystery and unknown questions are part of the appeal. They try and drag things along by acting like the guys doing this have some really good reason, that simply happens to be unfathomable at the level the protaganists are uncovering it, but dragging things out and refusing to explain anything, ever, without bringing up more questions prevents there being any kind of logic to the outside observer/player that allows for things to make sense. With the paticularly long running series, the guys writing them didn't even bother to try and justify anything anymore, because they went into it with the mentality that there was never going to be any answers, just the implication that some might exist.

To be entirely fair, I'm not entirely sure I can consider either Umbrella or Weyland-Yutani all that stupid overall, to give SOME credit where it's due, you have to understand that they both use some pretty sophisticated facilities and containment methods, which would not have logically failed. In the cases where such things DO fail it's usually the result of bad writing (painfully contrived, because if it wasn't, we'd never have a game/movie) or just never explained how the problems took place.

Two other points need to be understood about this genere as well.

#1: The protaganists are ironically the guys who screw everything up, something that makes no sense in cases where your dealing with characters that are supposed to be professionals and/or committed to doing the right thing. Half the problem with the Aliens actually seemed to be caused by the antics of the protaganists trying to stay alive and making things worse as they dragged the xenomorphs around everywhere with them. With Umbrella you'll notice that even with the first Resident Evil game things were reasonably well contained until a few STARS agents decided to be the ones to crack open the containment. In the movie it was even worse, the computer (Red Queen I believe) was trying to kill off the protaganists to prevent the infection from escaping. I believe they acknowleged that the computer was even right in like the third movie "kill a few, save a lot". From a certain perspective Umbrella had great safeguards, they had all kinds of lockdowns, and even an AI ready to cleanse the place if everything else went wrong. Arguably it was these professionals who kind of knew what they had locked in there with them figured "duur, let's get out of here, so we can live, assuming somehow nothing bad will happen if we break this containment". It's arguably Alice's fault that virtually the whole bloody planet got wiped out in the movie series.

One can talk about the human will to survive, but at the same time when your dealing with people who are already in professions where they know they are likely to die as part of their job to protect others, it becomes increasingly unlikely that some of these "plot nessicary" situations would arise.

It makes a little more sense when the people are spreading/releasing the infection are supposed to be "normal" but at the same time a lot of those people also witness what's going on. I honestly don't think your average person is going to callously try and break containment and kill a few million people or whatever, hoping that by some miracle the rules suddenly don't apply to them just because it's them.

In short, in a lot of these situations you can't nessicarly blame the "evil corperation". I mean Umbrella has been doing it's thing in underground facilities hidden under remote cabins on the extreme outskirts of small cities in nowhere land, or on private islands, or whatever. Weyland Yuteni is sending out teams of professionals usually (even if they are stupid in withholing crucial information, which is the dumbest part of the entire thing usually, since foreknowlege could change the entire series of events in some of these movies/stories), and all the action again
happens in pretty remote places.

Both Umbrella and Wayland-Yutani also do seem to try and clean up their messes, it's just that we are cheering for their enemies, oftentimes oblivious to the simple fact that as evil as the corperations might be on some levels, the guys we're playing on are probably more stupidly destructive. It's an odd way think, but consider those "evil corperate stormtroopers" that show up in some of this fiction were on standby to contain the situation, and they fail in many cases due to our "heroes".

#2: When it comes to motivations that's actually the easy part. Research and gaining knowlege for the sake of having it. Experimenting with the unknown is how you learn about it, and find useful things to do with it. I believe I remember reading somewhere (maybe it was a movie trailer) that Umbrella was hoping the T-virus and such could be modified for medical use to regenerate people and such.

I suppose if your a luddite, you can get into the whole left wing "Frakenstein" thing that demonizes any kind of radical research, that might be in any way dangerous, or actually has a chance to change anything. I very much oppose that and tend to be pro-technology, but I agree with a degree of responsibility, and on a basic level most evil corperations (and the two mentioned here) do seem to be fairly responsible in their set ups. In many cases I can't fault their security and preparations as being insufficient.

Now to make these corperations really evil, they do experiments on kidnap victims and such too, which I don't agree with, but that's usually not something that plays a huge role in why things go wrong. Usually your fighting a zombie outbreak or something, not from preventing a company setting out to be the second coming of Mengele on those principles.

When it comes to the motivation in "Aliens" I think half the problem was that a deep explanation went beyond the scope of the films, being someting that the protaganists you were following would never really get, as the series went on glossing over the exposition or only giving partial explanations which contridicted each other really added up.

With Umbrella you could pretty much define what they are doing as research for the sake of research, and trying to find ways to apply T-cells to other areas (bio-tech, military, etc...) that they already worked on.

With Weyland Yutani, it's actually been defined a bit better over time, but you REALLY have to watch a lot of these movies to "get it". The way it seems to break down nowadays given the prequels is that while something of a bastard Weyland happened to run into extraterrestrials on earth treating humans like fodder via the "Aliens Vs. Predator" franchise. While it wasn't spelled out perfectly it seemed like the Weyland running the show had some idea what was going to be found during the space mission that was the subject of the most recent "Prometheus" prequel, and if you try and tie it all together despite the differant writers and directors and contridictory visions, you could argue his corperation winds up realizing that the "Aliens" are basically highly evolved, self-replicating, biological weapons which have been used by both the species from "Prometheus" which apparently created them, as well as the Predator species that likes to dump them on unsuspecting planets and fight them for fun (and they still have a chance against this other xenos race). From a certain perspective you can see why getting control of the Aliens, or at least learning enough to make your own version you can direct better, to use as a weapon in a universe humans seem to be outclassed by other species (well, somewhat, by the time of the Colonial Marines, the military seems pretty effective), or at least learn to counter their biological technologies.... or at least this is how I'd put their general motivations together (and yes, given that the whole "universe" is a contridictory mess this doesn't work perfectly, but it comes pretty close). Ultimatly Weyland Yutani's biggest act of stupidity would be in not informing it's special teams/couriers/Military tools WTF they were doing and why. Of course while stupid, I suppose it's stupid in a realistic way as there is a lot to be said both for and against highly compartmentalized "need to know" information, some of the events in "Aliens" movies showing the downside.

Tuesday Night Fever:
If the weather being shit meant that a location wasn't habitable, I guess places like Seattle and London aren't habitable.

I would rather compare it with Antartica. And while yes, you can live there, I highly doubt it is a place you WANT to stay unless you get paid for it while YOUR examples... it's bad weather, but that kind of weather is everywhere as it is normal and to some degree even needed.

Bindal:
I would rather compare it with Antartica. And while yes, you can live there, I highly doubt it is a place you WANT to stay unless you get paid for it while YOUR examples... it's bad weather, but that kind of weather is everywhere as it is normal and to some degree even needed.

Again, inhospitable doesn't equate to uninhabitable. Just 'cause you have to pay someone to live there doesn't mean they physically can't live there.

Besides, given that Hadley's Hope is a "company town" it's likely that the majority of them (if not all of them, excluding the children - hopefully) are employees, so I'd assume they are getting paid.

And yeah, compared to the typical weather conditions where I live, you would have to pay me to live in Seattle.

I don't know if somebody's mentioned this yet but WY wasn't in the fourth Alien film; by then it had been bought out by some other (more competent) company. This time it was some military company. I'll get my coat....

Weyland is the most idiotic.
Umbrella, at least, has a fall-back-plan: They got underground facilities all over the world where they can hide out and be safe and maybe rebuild.
Weyland programms all their ships to return to earth in case of an emergency. And emergency like ..... the whole crew dying, maybe???
Why yes.
The aliens would be totally fucked! They can't manipulate technology that complex! They can't pilot a spaceship! BUUUUUUUUT do enough damage to the ship, kill enough people and - presto - the ship is programmed to carry the most dangerous creature to exist back to your home-base of operations!
And, in part IV, it's even more idiotic because they build the lab to experiment on the aliens on the spaceship they KNOW will return to earth if anything goes wrong!

Umbrella is definitely the worst of the 2 options.

Notable mention goes to the United Aerospace Corporation of Doom, and I forget what its called from Dead Space. At least the other 3 corporations can feign some kind of ignorance or that they have some kind of control over the things they are messing around with.

In Dead Space the Markers exist simply as a kind of radio tower that broadcasts a space virus that's sole purpose is to convert all life into the Flood from Halo or whatever. And they keep making them, and bringing them into their own cities.

I can't say that analysis is 100% accurate as I didn't get the full story from the first 2 games presented to me clearly enough/I didn't see the movies or comics or cereal boxes and other assorted media whoring EA came up with to keep the actual plot a secret.

Tuesday Night Fever:
Besides, given that Hadley's Hope is a "company town" it's likely that the majority of them (if not all of them, excluding the children - hopefully) are employees, so I'd assume they are getting paid.

Probably just a part. When Burke tries to convince Ridley the first time in her appartement, he states (albeit indirectly) that W-Y is not the only company involved there. Probably the one, that put in the most cash, but not the only one.

KoudelkaMorgan:
Notable mention goes to the United Aerospace Corporation of Doom, and I forget what its called from Dead Space. At least the other 3 corporations can feign some kind of ignorance or that they have some kind of control over the things they are messing around with.

UAC of Doom1/2? Well, I wish there would be any kind of Story in those games besides "Demons invade Mars - kill'em all!". And in Doom 3, those were actually the guys, who wanted to PREVENT stuff going downhill. All they were researching were ruins and teleportation. Not how to summon demons. Only Betruger "summoned" them because he made a deal with them. So, UAC should be mentioned as an example of "How you should do it".

As big of an Aliens fan that I am I have to agree that Umbrella is "more stupid" than Weyland.....but isn't that a compliment? :P

Anyways, my reason is that Umbrella has brought about the literal zombie apocalypse, everything they do fucks up our home planet, unleashing all sorts of mutated, monstrouse freaks on Earth. Werland, however, just excells in sending marine squads to their deaths and sacrificing relatively small colony outposts. They haven't endangered Earth (yet), which I believe goes in line with the wise words "Don't shit where you eat." :P

Cerberus Corporation from Mass Effect deserves an honorable mention. They start out as a pro-humanity group that only targets human colonies. They kill their worst enemy (Shepard), then clone that enemy and equip her with the best ship in the galaxy. It took the combined efforts of the Humans and the Turians (the Turians had the biggest military budget in the galaxy, the Humans not far behind) a decade or so of spending all their resources to build the Normandy. Cerberus built a bigger better Normandy II in a couple years while spending billions to resurrect Shepard. Then spent the third game doing everything they could to prevent the person they resurrected from using the ship they built to prevent the Reapers from destroying all human life in the galaxy. Where do they get the resources for that kind of stupid and what does their mission statement read like?

I might be mistaken on a few of these points:

Shinra:
1. Excels at screwing the little guy.
2. Harvests planet energy without regard.
3. Head scientist knows that the planet will destruct if overdrawn.

Probably more, it's been awhile since I actually paid attention to that story.

Shadow-Phoenix:
I'd choose Weyland because let's face it at least Umbrella went out and actually created multiple B.O.W's and viruses while Weyland has the worst obsession with grabbing a few Xenos and even then they only got a few in Resurrection and that also went up in smoke mere minutes into the film so they really are the worst out there.

Weyland only wanted the military money. They were pretty much greedy bastards that own every fucking thing. Though one could say that seeing how money was being loss for no gain they would have just stop. Seeing how no one knew they were responsible.

Hitchmeister:
Cerberus Corporation from Mass Effect deserves an honorable mention. They start out as a pro-humanity group that only targets human colonies. They kill their worst enemy (Shepard), then clone that enemy and equip her with the best ship in the galaxy. It took the combined efforts of the Humans and the Turians (the Turians had the biggest military budget in the galaxy, the Humans not far behind) a decade or so of spending all their resources to build the Normandy. Cerberus built a bigger better Normandy II in a couple years while spending billions to resurrect Shepard. Then spent the third game doing everything they could to prevent the person they resurrected from using the ship they built to prevent the Reapers from destroying all human life in the galaxy. Where do they get the resources for that kind of stupid and what does their mission statement read like?

It's called Bioware shit writing.

Weyland-Yutani, Umbrella, we both know they're in the Fuck-Up 500, so who cares.

Also, that burn on EA? More of that. Anything that says "EA is dumb and their policies are evil" is awesome.

Well, the argument for/against Weyland-Yutani falls apart immediately, with false premises from the get go and a complete failure to realize that Weyland-Yutani (Alien 1-3) and the military (Resurrection) are not one and the same.

Hitchmeister:
Cerberus Corporation from Mass Effect deserves an honorable mention. They start out as a pro-humanity group that only targets human colonies. They kill their worst enemy (Shepard), then clone that enemy and equip her with the best ship in the galaxy. It took the combined efforts of the Humans and the Turians (the Turians had the biggest military budget in the galaxy, the Humans not far behind) a decade or so of spending all their resources to build the Normandy. Cerberus built a bigger better Normandy II in a couple years while spending billions to resurrect Shepard. Then spent the third game doing everything they could to prevent the person they resurrected from using the ship they built to prevent the Reapers from destroying all human life in the galaxy. Where do they get the resources for that kind of stupid and what does their mission statement read like?

I feel like being nitpicky about the details you got wrong, and to point out how several of your questions were actually answered in the games... but, honestly, who gives a fuck anymore?

The Mass Effect trilogy is a mess. Especially part 3.

Weyland Yutani have their terraforming business and presumably android business, with the Alien-weaponizing project as a side-project. But Umbrella seems to have "MAKE ZOMBIES" as their MAIN business plan. So Weyland Yutani are not as stupid as Umbrella.

Caramel Frappe:
Umbrella hands down. I don't see how having cities being run down by zombies only for the government to nuke it = profit. You're basically killing your customers, and having those customers kill other customers. In fact why did Wesker go with creating new devices and everything? He could of planted a lot of T-Virus gas into nukes and dropped them into every city and be pleased with his company ... doing something- even this plot I've made up doesn't make sense.

Caramel Frappe, I have nothing specifical to comment on regarding your post, but I just wanted to point out that your newly Christmasfied avatar brings joy to my heart every time I see it. That is all.

Umbrella to the TOP!

Mr. Omega:

Firefilm:

Mr. Omega:
But Umbrella (or at least Wesker) DID have a plan! The plan was COMPLETE. GLOBAL. SATURATION. *drawn out exhale*

In all seriousness: Yeah, the right choice won here, for all the right reasons. And as 6 and Revelations show, their legacy of dumb lives on...

Still, these two were the obvious choices. I wonder who a good third candidate would be?

Apeture science?

Good call. Can't believe I didn't think of Apeture myself, especially since I was considering RED and BLU at some point.

The guys running RED and BLU are definitely phenomenally stupid. I mean, just read the Blood Brothers comic. They think Gravel is an actual fuel source, and their idea of a perfect plan is to have one impregnate the other with some weird impregnating machine.

The bit about the Resident Evil protagonists had Egoraptor written all over it. If I was just listening I could have mistaken you for him.

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