Jimquisition: The Sh*tiest Games of 2012

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The Sh*tiest Games of 2012

There's something to be said for tradition, and the Jimquisition's most sacred tradition is the year-end evisceration of the year's very worst game.

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I wonder how many of the sad "I hate CoD because it's cool to hate it even though I've never played it" people watching this were suddenly very hopeful during that slight pause between "Call of Duty Black Ops" and "Declassified" because they thought you were about to say "Two" instead.

Anyway, happy Jimmas everyone.

Nothing says "Christmas" like Jim breaking out the Saints Row 3 weapon of choice.

Delightful! All throughout last week's episodes I was hoping you would do a worst games of 2012, and I got my wish. Really would have enjoyed if you had some video of Steel Battalion failing to work, though.

Pretty glad to say I've never played any of these games, and I suppose that's for a good reason.

What? No Resident Evil 6? That's a surprise.

Where did you get the dildo on a stick?
Can buy it from you?

RTR:
What? No Resident Evil 6? That's a surprise.

Nowhere near notable enough to be worthy of the honor.

Jimothy Sterling:

RTR:
What? No Resident Evil 6? That's a surprise.

Nowhere near notable enough to be worthy of the honor.

OH, SNAP

Pitty he didnt' get around to War Z. Not only was the game a broken pile of shit, but the buissness pratices of the developers are down right Illegal.

saintdane05:
Where did you get the dildo on a stick?
Can buy it from you?

Was sent to me during Saints Row 3's launch build-up. Unfortunately it's seen too much use as a Jimquisition prop for me to want to part with it.

Plus one day I plan to get drunk enough to see if I can fit it up me.

Wow, Jim... you only had two or three words for Spirit Camera. You must have really hated it.

I and multiple people that have played Steel Battalions have all had the same complaints that you did. Capcom is constantly lying to their customers and it makes me wonder if a class-action lawsuit of some kind is in their future. I mean, how do you get a game like that out there and not catch hate for it when War Z customers are getting their money back? I feel like Capcom has become Japan's equivalent of EA.

Jimothy Sterling:

Plus one day I plan to get drunk enough to see if I can fit it up me.

Can we see it if you do?

What I find odd is that Konami did so well with Metal Gear Solid HD Collection, and yet apparently managed to fuck up the Silent Hill one up so badly, according to everyone.

Also, it's good to see The Penetrator make its' triumphant return.

To be fair, the only reason I'm alone right now is because most of my family is deathly ill (two people went to the hospital) and I don't want to catch anything :P.

Sheo_Dagana:
Wow, Jim... you only had two or three words for Spirit Camera. You must have really hated it.

It has so little content that Jim could only really say those two words about the game. Sadly his review of it came out immediately AFTER I had picked it up at Gamestop. But at least Amazon gave decent trade-in credit for it.

My first thought when I saw this video was I bet warfighter is number 1 but I find your list to be pretty much spot on. Sure its a bland boring military FPS but at least its not a BROKEN bland boring military fps. And I can't ever take greenlight seriously myself if Mcpixel makes the list but Inquisitor does not so kudo's for putting a greenlight game up there to remind ourselves of our bad taste.

An exactly 10 minute long top 10 video. Huh.

This was quite a good one. Liked the Skeletor voice!

Sheo_Dagana:
Wow, Jim... you only had two or three words for Spirit Camera. You must have really hated it.

I and multiple people that have played Steel Battalions have all had the same complaints that you did. Capcom is constantly lying to their customers and it makes me wonder if a class-action lawsuit of some kind is in their future. I mean, how do you get a game like that out there and not catch hate for it when War Z customers are getting their money back? I feel like Capcom has become Japan's equivalent of EA.

I'm surprised that there already hasn't been one, especially considering that today I learned that Nintendo is apparently being sued because of "annoying" controller rattle:

http://www.sandiegoreader.com/weblogs/news-ticker/2012/dec/17/nintendo-sued-over-annoying-controller-rattle/

(My Gamepad doesn't rattle at all, BTW.)

But yeah, Nintendo gets sued for stupid shit like that but Capcom gets away with... Fucking every single shitty thing Capcom has done the past few years?!

I lost it at "NNNGGGYYYYAAAAAYYYYMEEEEEE!"

Thank God for you, Jim. I really felt like snorting cold coffee through my nose thanks to a badly repressed chuckle on Christmas Eve.

Thank God for you.

I stopped listening to anything Capcom had to say when they canned Megaman Legends 3 the second Keiji Inafune was out the door. It appears that was the correct choice.

Jimothy Sterling:

saintdane05:
Where did you get the dildo on a stick?
Can buy it from you?

Was sent to me during Saints Row 3's launch build-up. Unfortunately it's seen too much use as a Jimquisition prop for me to want to part with it.

Plus one day I plan to get drunk enough to see if I can fit it up me.

And I thought these games were... bugg-e

You know for all the stick that the big western publisher inhouse developed games get at least there polished and playable even if in some cases dull and/or by the numbers.

Look at Jim's list from Japan we have a Capcom, Tecmo Koei(surprised there wasn't more of these), Namco Bandai and Konami. An indie and 5 from independant developers.

No Resident Evil 6 ? color me surprised.

honestly i thought NeverDead had enough good ideas to be a pretty good game, too bad those ideas were handled by a bunch of barely trained chimps and not an actual studio

Hitman: Absolution for me. Worst game I've played in two years I reckon. Atrocious Hitman game, shit game in general.

What's the asterisk in the show title for? Is it a regex?

Shallottiest?
Shatneristiest?
Shupercalifragicexpialadociuostiest?

Shameless:
No Resident Evil 6 ? color me surprised.

That game was disappointingly mediocre, these games all seemed to be actively on fire.

Especially that 2012 game, that shit makes you forget all about RE5 in terms of amping up the racism. It seriously looks like the kind of thing the KKK or the Aryan Brotherhood would fund as a flash game.

Aww... I wanted the Zone of the Enders HD Collection to be with the Silent Hill HD Collection.
Both of those Konami decided to diddle over a dog house.

Yeah Konami, let's hand ZOE over to a studio who has only made tie-in games for Nickelodeon.
Morons.

Dildo bats, Cum Durr Splats....sure feels like Christmas.

Woodsey:
Hitman: Absolution for me. Worst game I've played in two years I reckon. Atrocious Hitman game, shit game in general.

The real question is, is the game as bad as Hitman 1? :P

OT: Good video Jim. It is always good to be reminded that while things might be bad, they could always be so much worse. XD

BreakfastMan:

Woodsey:
Hitman: Absolution for me. Worst game I've played in two years I reckon. Atrocious Hitman game, shit game in general.

The real question is, is the game as bad as Hitman 1? :P

You know I'm not sure if I've ever played the first. Not at any great length anyway. But it's certainly not even as good as Contracts, let alone Silent Assassin - and I feel embarrassed to even mention in it the same breath as Blood Money.

I just wanted to say that the hat Jim was wearing in the beginning of this video was really sweet.

Also, I don't find it strange that a studio called "Nihilistic" doesn't give a shit about the quality of its' products. Not giving a shit is what nihilism is about, really.

Yellowfish:
Also, I don't find it strange that a studio called "Nihilistic" doesn't give a shit about the quality of its' products. Not giving a shit is what nihilism is about, really.

I found that amusing as well.

Pretty good list. I was almost expecting RE6, but I forgot about Revelations 2012 and Steel Battalion.

I'm surprised warZ didn't make it on there.

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