Unskippable: Dead or Alive 5

Dead or Alive 5

Graham and Paul ponder cleavage and poor office attire.

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You know I was worried for about half that cutscene that I wasn't going to be able to use the Boobie Horn. Luckily Helena and Kasumi halted that worry.

Anyway...

Booooobieeeeeeees!!!

Wow that seems like a really excessively over-elaborate intro for a fighting game.

Also it's impossible to do anything regarding Dead or Alive and not make boob jokes.

They're like the elephant in the room.
Yeah, in size.

"I'm gonna hold out my arm and make a squeezing motion and if your boobs come in the way, it's your fault"
Brilliant! Might try this on public transport next time...don't know if it won't be creepy though.

I don't understand why the developers are trying to take this so seriously. Were we supposed to keep a straight face with those pyhsics? Just goof around I say

I'm convinced that Graham and/or Paul spliced together the opening for SOCOM 4 with Dead or Alive 5, because that's the only explanation for why this game had openings for two completely different games, and neither made sense.

MICHAEL BAY-MAN! WITH THE POWER TO MAKE THINGS AWESOME! BY MAKING THEM EXPLODE!

...

Wait a minute, that describes the regular Michael Bay!

Elephants in the room are the obvious things you don't talk about!

Giraffe. Giraffe in the room is much better. If only because you can't ignore the raining sheet rock.

To be fair, when they say 'assets' you wonder if they realize it, or just can't get away from it. Still.

Last helicopter shot: "Okay, and lean...LEFT!"

So... anyone else want Sonic to be in more cross-over games and be like that?

If I ever find myself in a situation where I have to write a report on breasts, Graham will be the first person I contact.

DVS BSTrD:
They're like the elephant in the room.
Yeah, in size.

Actually I think if there was actually an elephant in the room he'd probably feel inadequate.

How can you design a martial arts fighting game but have the animation of walking across a room be so bad in your cinematics?

I always wondered why in Japanese media someone will ask a question then immediately follow it up with "Isn't that right?" literally one second after they asked the previous one. Like, give the woman a chance to speak. For a guy who really wants an answer that bad he didn't exactly push the issue and was out of the room in a couple of blinks.

Boobs = Elephants

I freaking love DoA.

Hah. As someone else here said: Soul Calibur used to be a genuinely good fighting game with boob physics as an incidental marketing point, and Dead or Alive used to be a boob physics simulator with fighting game mechanics tacked on like an afterthought.

Now the two franchises have switched places.

That was one of the greatest non-sensical intro cutscenes ever. Screaming children, dudes with guns, eery chest-mounted plates of flesh colored jell-o, helicopters...corporate intrigue? I don't know. But if there's a part II I want to see it.

DVS BSTrD:
They're like the elephant in the room.
Yeah, in size.

The size of an elephant, the liquidity of an anemona. Maybe it's the boobs that should get their own game.

Captcha: bottom. apparently the captcha is more of a butt person.

Elephant boobies!

The Random One:

DVS BSTrD:
They're like the elephant in the room.
Yeah, in size.

The size of an elephant, the liquidity of an anemona. Maybe it's the boobs that should get their own game.

Captcha: bottom. apparently the captcha is more of a butt person.

Said it before, the next DoA game will be giant breasts with arms and legs fighting each other. I'm calling it now!

All things considered, I'm actually surprised at how much you restrained yourself on the boob jokes.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that boobs are important

For the record, I think the boob jokes you did make were pretty tastefull and more along the lines of pointing out in-universe silliness than just saying "booooobs!"

And yeah, Helena's outfit is just impossible to take seriously...

so Hayate is not Ryu??

Didn't Hayate have amnesia is DOA2:hardcore and his name was Ein I think.

ForgottenPr0digy:
so Hayate is not Ryu??

Didn't Hayate have amnesia is DOA2:hardcore and his name was Ein I think.

Yep, that's the guy. Hayate and Ryu are seperate guys, and they marked this guy clearly as Hayate. I believe he still has a recurring subplot from when he was Ein by way of Hitomi being one of his former students when he was under that identity.

To be honest, it seems like they are trying to make more of an understandable story out of DoA.. or at least in the games. That was absolutly coherant compared to what you typically wind up getting from this series, usually you wind up having to bother to look stuff up on fan sites to really piece it together, and what was actually plot relevent and what wasn't. It also seems they are actually carrying over a plot point for once as well! :)

This is one of my favorite fighting game series, though I haven't picked up my own copy of 5 yet.

I will also say that I have my doubts if anyone will ever create a fighting game series with the same level of "WTF" factor as Tekken. I occasionally suffer bouts of pinprick bleeding when I think about that one too much... it DOES make sense, but like a Lovecraftian tome, your probably better off for your lack of understanding. :)

I'll also say that while I don't think they did it with this installment (at least from what I've read) I've always thought they could combine the DoA and DoA beach volleyball games into one product. I always felt that part of the fun of fighting games, and what extends there play value, is all the wierd minigames and such (Tekken Force, Tekken Ball, Mortal Kombat Kart Racing, Konquest mode, the Soul Calibur strategy game thingy from SC III, and towers from later games, etc..). While kind of terrible as their own release, I've always thought that the T&A mini-games collections would fit right in, especially seeing as the game makes few pretensions about what it is. On their own DOA games have generally tended to be very bare bones packages with few bells and whistles.. adding the extra stuff isn't worth sacrificing core gameplay, but it's nice when it's there.

-

Also for the sake of arguement, I'd point out that they are discussing "what happened to Alpha 152" which makes me think that the relevence of what we were seeing with Bayman was that he had run into Alpha doing his mercenary thing in the middle east.

When it comes to helicopters Copters are always hanging out, making noise, doing nothing useful, and flying every which way obstructing the view, we should force them to get jobs carrying cargo, or flying combat missions or whatever, but after the whole "Obamacopter" program there isn't any incentive for them anymore. Look forward to more and more useless copters in video games from now on... :)

Okay, I need to sleep. I'm tired enough where I actually thought that was funny.

zack attack is my Franklin & Bash cover band.

For everyone making fun of DOA and the, in South Park terms: "Rockin' Boobage", I have to say that to be fair, it does seem like they toned down the breasts and the jiggling associated with them in this game. They're definitely still there, the series is known for being paper-rock-scissors with truck-loads of fanservice, but they have been toned down. Most of the fighters have smaller, more realistic breasts (Kasumi, for instance, used to be so top-heavy it was really difficult to picture her has having the grace required of a ninja). And yes, the jiggles at the slightest movement are still there, but again: toned down. It used to be that the breasts were based on perpetual motion machines, just waiting to get started before taking off on their own for quite a while. This game limits it to a couple moments.

I just wanted to recognize for the record that those things might not have been outright changed, but they've definitely been toned down for this installment of the series.

^^; Of course, now you get to see them glistening with very realistic looking sweat, and Hitomi has a white tanktop shirt that is ALWAYS soaked and see-through by the end of the fight. >.>

Breast episode ever.

I thought I knew what this game was about... It appears I was sorely misinformed.

Maybe I just don't understand the Japanese but Helena doesn't dress or behave like a businesswoman and neither does Kasumi dress or behave like any kind of warrior. Businessmen (and women) are practised negotiators and know how to use more body language than just blinking. Warriors tend to be more confrontational and prefer not to have their assets exposed as a tempting target.

I guess Dead or Alive 5 isn't aimed at those who value plausible plot or characters.

canadamus_prime:
Wow that seems like a really excessively over-elaborate intro for a fighting game.

Also it's impossible to do anything regarding Dead or Alive and not make boob jokes.

That's not boob.

I mean, ummm....

But yeah, it's almost self-parody at this point.

I kept waiting for an Inspector Clouseau joke when that blond girl was talking.

 

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