I (Also) Wrote That Crap

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I (Also) Wrote That Crap

It's probably best that Bob sticks to reviewing movies instead of making them.

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Yes Bob, I agree. While you have the ability to dissect movies and critique them (sometimes I may agree with you, sometimes not), your ideas so far seem to be b-rate at best. Something I'd probably see on the SyFy (I hate that namechange btw) Channel alongside Megashark spinoffs and Metal Tornado.
Actually maybe you should pitch them to SyFy...

To be perfectly honest ... I think I'd watch The Trekkie for its flat-out hilarity.

Is it me or does 'Beavers' sound like it should be a COMPLETELY different movie. Maybe with some Swedish handy-men and some slap-bass.

I like the Beavers. I mean, of course it's full of insane ideas. But it's not any more ridiculous than say, a giant marshmallow man trampling thorugh new york because some guys with miniaturized nuclear power plants on their backs have to fight a demon wich in turn rose from a woman's fridge. I can see those Beavers supplying some good laughs in a horror comedy. Just saying.

I'd watch The Trekkie. As long as it wasn't done by a Wayans brother.

Actually Beavers sounds delightfully campy. The kind of movie that comes with a riff track built into the dvd.

I would watch the shit out of that Trekkie movie. You should actually kickstart that one.

If you sold Trekkie as a comedic horror, it'd do very well I think. I know I'd love it.

Not to beat the already dead horse, but seriously, The Trekkie would be hilarious and I would totally watch it.

Holy shit Bob! We need to turn the Trekkie into a movie. I feel like it can be done right!

As everyone else is saying... Trekkie... needs to be made

Dammit... after reading Bottlenose, now I cant get the image of a pack (or is it school?) of Dolphins overturning a boat full of teenagers and raping them all...

Thinking about it, why isnt that a movie yet?

Also Trekkies needs to be made... and im not saying that because everyone else is...

You know, if it was written in a way that wasn't too on-the-nose (geddit) and preachy, I could actually get on board with Bottlenose. I fear however, that had it ever been made or gained any recognition, that it would have suffered a lifetime of "Simpsons did it" dismissal.

Also yes Bob, I would pay good money to see Trekkie.

I think the Sci-fi channel would be willing to do the dolphin movie. Need to think of a tagline for the Trekkie movie...
Murder: The final fronteer

Scrumpmonkey:
Is it me or does 'Beavers' sound like it should be a COMPLETELY different movie. Maybe with some Swedish handy-men and some slap-bass.

Their first kill could a pizza delivery man or a pool boy, and their blood would spray across the chest of the scantily clad house bound MILF who didn't have any change :P

WanderingFool:
Dammit... after reading Bottlenose, now I cant get the image of a pack (or is it school?) of Dolphins overturning a boat full of teenagers and raping them all...

Thinking about it, why isnt that a movie yet?

Also Trekkies needs to be made... and im not saying that because everyone else is...

A group of dolphins is called a pod, But i'd like it better if it didn't go by the old eighties trope of "punishing kids for their wicked ways". Maybe if it was some Mormon prayer group on a mission volunteer at a leper colony. >)

Considering things like Orca and Razorback, among other things, Beavers and Bottlenose are not that crazy sounding.

They just needed to be pitched to Golan-Globus/Cannon Group about 30 years ago. :(

Not gonna lie I really do want to see Trekkie get made. Though I'm trying to think, given that a show like 'Big Bang Theory' is one of the most popular shows on TV, would now be the perfect time for such a movie or is it the exact wrong time. Either way, I still want it.

The Trekkie actually sounds kind of fun in that b-movie sort of way.

The Trekkie sounds awesome, that movie should be made, if not so that all us nerds could rage at the inevitable stereotyping of our particular subcultures.

the dolphin movie sounds terrible but the other two actually sound like they could be fun b-movies if there is awareness of just how silly the ideas are.

Frontastic:
Not gonna lie I really do want to see Trekkie get made. Though I'm trying to think, given that a show like 'Big Bang Theory' is one of the most popular shows on TV, would now be the perfect time for such a movie or is it the exact wrong time. Either way, I still want it.

It's the perfect time for it to be the exact wrong time, which makes it the perfect time.

:smugface:

Anywho, Bottlenose could have been interesting, if only as a vehicle to get the word out to the wide-eyed idealists of the world who missed the memo about dolphins. As an actual movie... well, there's a reason I haven't even gotten up the interest to watch Jaws. Though, hell, pitch it to Spielberg as a bait-and-switch actual sequel to Jaws, keeping the twist completely hidden from the audience instead of putting it right there in the title, and it might work.

Steve the Pocket:

Frontastic:
Not gonna lie I really do want to see Trekkie get made. Though I'm trying to think, given that a show like 'Big Bang Theory' is one of the most popular shows on TV, would now be the perfect time for such a movie or is it the exact wrong time. Either way, I still want it.

It's the perfect time for it to be the exact wrong time, which makes it the perfect time.

:smugface:

Your mind, I like how it works.

As bad as "Beaver" sounds, it's nowhere near as bad as a movie that actually got made: Killer Shrews. Featuring the best in 1950's "science", starring a scientist working to reduce humans to half their usual size (to reduce food consumption and prevent worldwide starvation) somehow managing to alter shrews into growing ten times their normal size, requiring that they eat three times their own body weight in food daily or starve to death. Oh, and half the movie is spent watching the lead characters guzzle booze.

There's a reason Mystery Science Theater 3000 picked this movie to riff.

"Pushed over the edge after being left by his girlfriend"

Ah, there's your fantasy element! ;)

ritchards:
"Pushed over the edge after being left by his girlfriend"

Ah, there's your fantasy element! ;)

ah hahaha! Zinger!

I really, genuinely like the idea of Bottlenose, as I too have a fascination with the way Dolphins are such impressibly huge assholes. As far as I can recall, Bottlenoses actually have to be separated from other dolphins at aquariums, because otherwise they will fucking beat the shit out of them.

Trekkie sounds like it would be a great comedy movie.

Beaver just sounds suicide-inducingly painful.

I feel like, with a little rewriting, The Trekkie could actually be a good B movie. The other two sound like they could never escape being labeled ripoffs of Orca, though.

I feel with the end bit with the sword fight rewritten, Trekkie could be great.

And Beavers need to happen in all its glory!

throw me down as well for 'Trekkie' sounding like fun, cause it sounds like fun XD

Dear Bob. Beavers needs to happen.

I loved every word of this one.
Even or, well, ESPECIALLY "It's DAM scary".

With a team that just knows how to make GREAT trashy films (like Black Sheep or Piranha 3D) this would be a blast.

In full agreement here. I truly would love to see The Trekkie show up on Kickstarter.

Bob,
This could be your time to shine with campy, nerd culture movies.

Here's another +1 for "The Trekkie." What better time to have it come out than when J.J. Abrams is making Star Trek films and a new Star Wars is in the works.

MovieBob:

It's probably best that Bob sticks to reviewing movies instead of making them.

It's funny you mentioned that one about the Dolphin. I can't remember the name of the movie, but back in the early 90's (I think) there was a comedy movie, where one of the sub-plots was that a company was making a movie in the area about a giant dolphin that had rabies.

FEichinger:
To be perfectly honest ... I think I'd watch The Trekkie for its flat-out hilarity.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one that had this thought.

The Beavers one sounds delightfully goofy in vein of many older giant creature features, like rabbits, shrews, rats, etc. The Bottlenose one though sounds like an actual film (or be it Orca/SYFY in tone) and made more sense than 'Deep Blue Sea'. Personally I would call in 'Dolphiend'...

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