Zero Punctuation: Aliens: Colonial Marines

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Aliens: Colonial Marines

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Aliens: Colonial Marines.

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YEAHY!! MOON-WALK-ALIEN-DANCE-THING GLITCH!!

My favourite glitch was when I was fighting the mother alien in the mecha suit and I got taken down, while inside the suit. So I could still control the suit while having my feet cosily rested up against the windscreen.

My favourite glitch was when the game released at full price.

I really laughed at this review, thank god for yathzee I say.

That glitch with the boss fight sounded like a royal pain in the ass. With the animation with the face bashing it also looked painful... probably the best part of the video.

My favourite glitch was when an alien somehow broke through a wall and disappeared in a different blue wall

Well, since you asked, the biggest glitch I came across was in that damn Raven boss fight when the boss glitched through a wall and disappeared like the power loader was being piloted by Vanellope Von Shweetz, leaving me to fight endless xenomorphs until I reloaded the last checkpoint.

Well, i struggle to call this a glitch...

Yahtzee, don't you mean...

*puts on sunglasses*

...Nukem from orbit?

Thank you for the MASSIVE Spoiler-warning in the middle of the review about Hicks. Oh, wait. THERE WAS NONE!

I bet it would've really sucked to have been the guy who kept getting revived only to get smacked back down again. Must've thought he was in hell or something.

Not a glitch per se but I just love the Aliens animation in this game.
They move nothing like how the Aliens move in the films. They sort of shuffle around like a pensioner in slippers and on some terrible ecstasy.

Am I the only one who thinks, that the bar in video game industry is now so low, that we allow such atrocities to be released? The worst thing about it is, that such disasters gain more media attention, that it distracts everyone from things that actually are good, thereby these publishers/developers get a free ride, and still cash in on the dross they put out in the market by the way of preorders. They must be punished.

Aw. I thought this was going to be the new Metal Gear. Well I just have to wait untill next week (I think) before he talks about how terrible my current game of the year is.

I love how the arabic text at the end is just a bunch of arabic letters strung together without even being properly attached to make words. That pretty much sums up this game.

Ah, I was so looking forward to this one Yahtzee to tear this game a new one and you did so well. I am a happy camper.

The only glitch I got was O'Neal blocking the door in a mission where I had to go report to the high ranking officer after defending the base.

Ah how I loved this episode.
I knew it was going to end in shit, but it would of be damn funny if he told us it was good at the start and told us he faked it half way through.

This was still funny though.
What is up on the chopping block for next week?
Crysis 2.5?
Metal Gear Rising: revengence.
Tomb butt Raider?

Well I haven't played any of them ... I just like making funny names.

It's funny how Yahtzee comes across as being more professional in his critique than Jim Sterling or others. Maybe it's because he expects games to be bad and so is only surprised when they're good.

He's right about the series going down hill but I'd have to say that Aliens 3 (where they introduced Xenomorphs that develop differently depending on the species they gestate inside) was up there with the first two movies.

Cliff dive after that, though.

My favorite glitch was the one that caused the game to revert back to a build from around 2005 just as the game was going gold.

The best glitch is when I saw a Mammoth casually floating over a Hagravens house!

They don't even have those in Aliens! crazy!

Serious note: Aliens Vs Predator 2 is the best Alien themed game I've played. what about you?

I don't care about the Hicks spoiler but I went ahead and read the plot summary to figure out how that happens and it's quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

Copper Zen:
It's funny how Yahtzee comes across as being more professional in his critique than Jim Sterling or others. Maybe it's because he expects games to be bad and so is only surprised when they're good.

He's right about the series going down hill but I'd have to say that Aliens 3 (where they introduced Xenomorphs that develop differently depending on the species they gestate inside) was up there with the first two movies.

Cliff dive after that, though.

It would have been a lot better received if they hadn't used such a bullshit twist to connect it with Aliens. Just leave Ripely alone!

All I took away from this is that we need a Blues Brothers game.

aeric90:
I don't care about the Hicks spoiler but I went ahead and read the plot summary to figure out how that happens and it's quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

"It was just some other guy."

Couldn't be bothered to even try.

I was beginning to suspect the backlash against A:CM was disproportionate. Apparently I was wrong.

I'm not sure you can "spoil" something that was rotten when it was put on the shelf, so to speak...

Anyway, thanks for another entertaining review, Yahtzee; the image of the marines outnumbering the aliens was a particularly enjoyable one.

My favorite glitch was when my primary weapon turned invisible, the ammo counter turned to 999 > 0 (But could not be fired), and could not be swapped out. Deleting the save and making a new one didn't fix it. Reinstalling the game didn't fix it.

My favorite glitch was when I looked at the back of the box that my brother bought and I saw Bethesda included in the names of developers that made this game.

That and the marines who occasionally walked on their heads. (that is to say, they were upside down)

That glitch Yahtzee mentioned where the big xenomorph kept killing the same soldier over and over again? I think I know exactly what he's talking about.

When Yahtzee let slip that he was doing this one in his column, I was concerned it was going to be too easy. Everyone has been down on this game, so for Yahtzee to do it would be like picking on a retarded kid or shoot fish in a barrel or shooting retarded fish on a barrel. This was alleviated when he acknowledge as much.

Personally, I don't know why anyone was at all interested in playing this game. The demo aside, when was the last thing that was worth damn with the Alien brand slapped upon it came out?

I'll tell you, it was 1986 when Aliens first came out. Nothing else since has been worth a damn and a half, and this included the special edition director's cuts of the first two film. Fuck you, James Cameron. The movie worked better without Ripley having a dead daughter.

Expecting anything good to come out of it at this point is just dumb. Even that demo that Jim Sterling walked us through a few weeks ago. What did that show? It was just Aliens again. So it was just aping a quarter-century old movie that is older than a lot of you spods. Why play the game when you could just watch the movie? Even if the game was good, it wasn't going to be more than that.

I tell you, I am shocked by the dogged attachment to brand recognition that the current market hold onto white-knuckled. But I am depressed at how right it is for developers and publishers to do it. I actually watched the review of the new Tomb Raider based on brand recognition alone and I never played the original games. Seriously. It's just sad when even someone like me who points out this failing in others also has that same failing. Human nature is shit, apparently.

aeric90:

Serious note: Aliens Vs Predator 2 is the best Alien themed game I've played. what about you?

Aliens Vs Predator 1 is my favorite in this category. Playing as a marine was especially entertaining, the aliens were fragile but you're dead if they reach you so you had to be on your toes and spray those alien bastards as quickly as possible. Playing as an alien was also fun, you had to sneak up on your enemies or you'd be dead. Nice use of lighting also, if you blasted grenades like a dumb-ass, the lights would break and you'd have to fight in the dark. As an alien you could smash the lights to create cover for yourself so you could chow down on some marine head.

My favorite glitch was when the game started. Just that.

the antithesis:
Personally, I don't know why anyone was at all interested in playing this game. The demo aside, when was the last thing that was worth damn with the Alien brand slapped upon it came out?

That's just it, though, it was ALL about the demo. The demo showed people an Aliens game that actually looked like it could be good, that it captured the spirit and feel that made the movie good. The demo was both the game's source of hype and the cause of the game's utter failure when the delivered product didn't even come close.

1. I hope this crushes Gearbox, they have no integrity.
2. I hope this ends people preordering games, it just encourages assholes like Gearbox to make cash grab games.
3. I hope Yahtzee starts to review good games, constantly reviewing bad games is cute and funny but its like shooting fish in a barrel.

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