Every Game Ever

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Aaron Sylvester:
Nothing I have played in the past couple of years comes even close to what was shown in that comic, it seems the writers are a bit behind times. Or maybe it really was a slow day as said above :P

Heh, I know what you mean. In fairness, "every game ever" is never really going to work, and "a worryingly large number of high profile games recently released, and substantial amounts of others" isn't very pithy.

You missed out one key detail guys!

Somebody must be voiced by Nolan North.

Okysho:
I can't remember the last time the "evil thing" was a giant tentacle monster...

Borderlands?

VectorZero:
[pop culture reference]

[Witty retort]

[Comment about ever-increasing breast size]

Scars Unseen:
Some developers have specialized variations on that comic. For instance, Bioware has "You are the [chosen one], and only you can save the [variable scale landmass] from the [supernatural fuckwits]! But first you must find [in-universe jargon for "flag state toggles"] by doing inane sidequests in these [three/four] locations!"

When Dragon Age 3 comes out, see if you can fill out all the boxes. I'll bet you can.

That's funny, because Dragon Age 2 didn't follow that formula much at all. And it's the one everybody hated. Think about it.

I love how generic love interest's breasts get bigger in every scene. Well done guys. haha

Yes, that is totally Portal. Absolutely spot-on TF 2. Completely accurate to Dark Souls. And spec ops, of course, as well as New Vegas. Totally. And who can forget the gigantic fuckass tentacle monster in Far Cry 3.
Yes, I am being petty and intentionally missing the point of the joke.

PunkRex:

VectorZero:
[pop culture reference]

[Witty retort]

[Third party jumping in with unhelpful, antagonistic statement]

thaluikhain:

Aaron Sylvester:
Nothing I have played in the past couple of years comes even close to what was shown in that comic, it seems the writers are a bit behind times. Or maybe it really was a slow day as said above :P

Heh, I know what you mean. In fairness, "every game ever" is never really going to work, and "a worryingly large number of high profile games recently released, and substantial amounts of others" isn't very pithy.

That's the thing, this comic would have a point if a worryingly large number of high profile games recently released were like that. But they're not.

Oh yeah, I totally remember that happening in...actually when WAS the last time that happened? Can't remember it happening in any games I've played this year and last year.

Yeah I'm gonna be that guy and say this is not really that funny or accurate.

That's not true! There are still the games where you are the [chosen one] and must spend [x] hours searching for the [mcguffin/mcguffins] in order to stop [antagonist] from destroying the world.

Hm...[PROTAGONIST] kinda fails at making proper eye contact with [SUPPORT CHARACTER/LOVE INTEREST] in the first panel, not that I can blame him.

I lolled... And then I lolled again. Great comic, but I must say that the evil thing is a bit too original, you should have gone for a giant robot, because everyone love giant robots, even when they are evil.

Hrm. Trying to figure out specific (High-profile, not universally considered terrible) recent games fit this description. Torchlight 1+2 do, Borderlands 2 does, and Mass Effect 1+2 (But not 3) almost do if you squint, but aside from those, I got nothing.

Anybody able to add some more? Because right now I'm seeing the point of the other people here saying this isn't representative. I know it's not supposed to be literally every game, but pretty much all the games I've played recently don't fit: XCOM, FTL, Far Cry 3, Fallen Enchantress, Assassin's Creed II (I'm a bit behind okay?), Civilization V, Recettear, Orcs Must Die!... None of them really fit this unless you stretch it pretty far.

Mr.Squishy:
Yes, that is totally Portal. Absolutely spot-on TF 2. Completely accurate to Dark Souls. And spec ops, of course, as well as New Vegas. Totally. And who can forget the gigantic fuckass tentacle monster in Far Cry 3.
Yes, I am being petty and intentionally missing the point of the joke.

To be honest I think the joke is somewhat... dated. If it had been made just after Ninja Gaiden 2 came out, then it'd be spot on.

That said, I did like the last panel. "Spoiler" indeed.

Apart from the large breasts, it is disturbingly close to Dead Space 3's plot though.

Falterfire:
Borderlands 1+2 do

Eh?

Apart from the monster being tentacally, Borderlands doesn't fit. There's no busty woman to save, there's no villain to stop until the very end (as the Vault was supposed to be about treasure), the main character isn't [generic white male with brown hair and stubble].

Borderlands 2 fit's most of it, except it's not got the [generic white male with brown hair and stubble], or the busty woman. Nor is the monster tentacally.

The only recent one that has it all is Dead Space 3.

Eternal_Lament:
I love how [SUPPORT CHARACTER/LOVE INTEREST]'s "assets" get larger in each panel. That's how you can really tell that they're the one you're supposed to save

...Anyways, I can tell that the [PROTAGONIST] sort of looks like generic marine wearing Master Chief armor, and the [SUPPORT CHARACTER/LOVE INTEREST] sort of looks like Courtney from Metal Gear Rising, except more revealing, but I wonder what the [ANTAGONIST] is drawing from. I guess the eye=patch and scar make him evil, but I want to say I've seen the coat somewhere before, just can't put my finger on it.

i think i saw someone like him in deus ex, although that guy wasn't the main antagonist just the first talking boss.

Now that I think about it, the latest game I played that had a plot like this in the comic was DmC. I guess the exception is that Dante wants Mundus to release the big evil power, but otherwise it's pretty spot on. Other than that though.....

Anyways, having thought about it, I still can't figure out where I've seen the jacket from, although it does look very familiar.

EDIT: nevermind, I think felbot gave me the answer

TheVampwizimp:

Scars Unseen:
Some developers have specialized variations on that comic. For instance, Bioware has "You are the [chosen one], and only you can save the [variable scale landmass] from the [supernatural fuckwits]! But first you must find [in-universe jargon for "flag state toggles"] by doing inane sidequests in these [three/four] locations!"

When Dragon Age 3 comes out, see if you can fill out all the boxes. I'll bet you can.

That's funny, because Dragon Age 2 didn't follow that formula much at all. And it's the one everybody hated. Think about it.

I've long argued that Dragon Age 2 was the best game Bioware has attempted since KOTOR. They didn't succeed due to a short dev cycle and lazy resource recycling, but the core idea of the game was the most thought that Bioware has put into a game in years.

grigjd3:

PunkRex:

VectorZero:
[pop culture reference]

[Witty retort]

[Third party jumping in with unhelpful, antagonistic statement]

[SUPPORT CHARACTER/LOVE INTEREST breaking up fight]

This game looks AWESOME! I can't wait to play, when will it be out? When will the first DLC be released also?

There's always the part where [Shady Support Character] turns out to be the real antagonist after defeating the [Evil Thing].

You are so wrong...

The bad guy is supposed to be Russian.

Haha loved the way she was getting bustier in each panel! Very true though, and it has started to happen in films.

Zachary Amaranth:

NinjaDeathSlap:
Maybe I'm just playing the wrong games, but I can't remember any game I've ever played where all of that has happened, and in that order, let alone 'Every Game Ever'.

Slow day today was it? -_-

Vault101:

NinjaDeathSlap:
Maybe I'm just playing the wrong games, but I can't remember any game I've ever played where all of that has happened, and in that order, let alone 'Every Game Ever'.

Slow day today was it? -_-

I agree more or less

eather way *sigh* yes lets just hate everything ever....

ok I know I'm not having an sense of humour right now but I'm kind of tired of this shit

ITT: people who do not understand hyperbole or comedy.

Though it seems there's an at least 80% chance that the people who miss hyperbole will then attempt their own.

In order to qualify as hyperbole, it would have to be exaggerating something that actually exists as a noticeable trend. Even then, hyperbole just on its own is rarely comedy.

Interesting how a comic showing the cliches in games winds up showing a cliche in gamers. I've lost count of how many people are making note of the girl's chest size.

It makes one wonder: are we as two-dimensional as what we play or are exposed to?

I'd play [Game]. I mean, exactly what is depicted with that exact dialog.

Lt. Rocky:
Interesting how a comic showing the cliches in games winds up showing a cliche in gamers. I've lost count of how many people are making note of the girl's chest size.

It makes one wonder: are we as two-dimensional as what we play or are exposed to?

What? When you put a massive chested woman in a comic, then make her breasts bigger and bigger to the point where in the end they're around the size of her freaking head, are people not supposed to point it out? I'm pretty sure that was the joke. I mean, I didn't think that it was funny, but you can't blame people for talking about it.

Machine Man 1992:
Actually, you could probably make a good game out of this; an intentionally cheesy, affectionate parody done in the style of Mel Brooks' Spaceballs.

Just get a bunch of Funimation actors to ham it up and your golden.

Spaceballs The Video Game!

OT: You know what else is predictable?

[Commenter]: [Media] is generalizing! [Actual game] wasn't like that!

and the [antagonist] isn't white while the protagonist is (with brown hair).

Some games aren't like that.

I love how the support character gets larger breasts once she's revealed as the love interest! Very nice. Also...giant tentacle/spike monsters may not be very imaginative but it's a lot more imaginative than the standard Middle Eastern/Russian Terrorists we see a lot of these days...

knight steel:

grigjd3:

PunkRex:

[Witty retort]

[Third party jumping in with unhelpful, antagonistic statement]

[SUPPORT CHARACTER/LOVE INTEREST breaking up fight]

[Forum Mockery that Third Party/Witty Retorter need someone else to resolve their conflicts.]

You forgot [Protagonist]'s amnesia, that prevents them from remembering their [Dark Secret] that later becomes plot relevant.
You also forgot [Token minority sidekick].

erttheking:

What? When you put a massive chested woman in a comic, then make her breasts bigger and bigger to the point where in the end they're around the size of her freaking head, are people not supposed to point it out? I'm pretty sure that was the joke. I mean, I didn't think that it was funny, but you can't blame people for talking about it.

Oh I'm not saying one shouldn't notice it, even I took a good notice to it, but some people go off as if it's the only thing they notice in the comic. If one sees a massive evil thing that looks like an abomination from the realms of hell, should one point that out? I'd like to think so, but we've seen it all so many times it doesn't even matter anymore. Shouldn't that logic also apply to massive breasts, as we've seen that so many times in pop culture?

Maybe I'm just thinking too deeply about this.

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