Escape to the Movies: Jack the Giant Slayer

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Jack the Giant Slayer

MovieBob gives us a few giant reasons to not go see Jack the Giant Slayer.

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Can't say that I'm really surprised this film ended up being a dudd. Next up, Mary: Rise of the Nano Lambs

I feel like I should be surprised, but I'm not... Kinda want a review of Stoker now.

Maybe it's for the best Singer didn't get Star Wars

Next fairy tale movie idea: Rip Van winkle as a time traveler or dream diver.

The first time I heard this movie was being made I was psyched, because I did think it would be a movie version of Jack the Giant Killer, a.k.a. my favourite fairy tale. A movie about a peculiar, enthusiastic, and maybe even somewhat insane farm boy, who goes out to kill giants in rather gruesome ways. One of which being tricking a giant into disembowling himself. I'll never forget that bit. =)

I could already see somebody resembling a young Bruce Campbell in the titular role.

*sigh* At least I still have my dreams...

Not even Wikipedia remembers that movie Bob.

I'm really surprised at this review. So far, I think Bob has been very positive towards Bryan Singer and even gave "Superman Returns" a recommendation. This movie must've made a lot of missteps to earn a negative review from Bob.

Jeez, what's next? A grittier Wizard of Oz movie? Hahaha...wait, wha-?

yes, yes you are the only one who remembers that movie. the best jack in the beanstalk movie was actually in this review: the mickey mouse version

shadowstriker86:
yes, yes you are the only one who remembers that movie. the best jack in the beanstalk movie was actually in this review: the mickey mouse version

Mickey Mouse should start doing fairytales again. When was the last time you saw him in anything besides videogames?

Bob, did you...

Did you just admit that you like something Amazing Spider-Man related? Now I hope that the next one blows you out of the water.

Caffeine_Bombed:
Jeez, what's next? A grittier Wizard of Oz movie? Hahaha...wait, wha-?

Exactly what I was thinking. What is it with fairy tales suddenly being turned into these gritty blockbusters recently? So far we've had at least this, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel and Red Riding Hood. What's next, Sleeping Beauty?

A shame this movie sucked. I was in no way interested in it, but at least that mythology about the beans and the giants sounded kinda interesting.

Caffeine_Bombed:
Jeez, what's next? A grittier Wizard of Oz movie? Hahaha...wait, wha-?

You heard Bob say that Sam Raimi could do this kind of movie in his sleep. I'm hoping Sam knocks "Oz the Great..." out of the park. But, I am a little worried, just because I don't see the source material and Sam matchin up really well. I never cared for the Wizard of Oz.

I think the remake of "Evil Dead" comes out next weekend. Sam produced and didn't direct, but I'm looking forward to that one.

C'mon, Ewan MacGregor, you're better than this.

So I guess this would be...

/puts on sunglasses

... Bob's first big movie of the year?

I just want a live movie version of The BFG based on the book and the awesome cartoon version of said book. Same art style. Thing with this Jack movie is it exists because.....why not? Same as the Justice League movie will suck because its being made because of Avengers, not because they want to create an awesome JL movie. If you make a movie for money because other similiar movies made money, then you will fail as it has no heart or soul.

I had 0 expectations for this film, the trailers were all incredibly sucky, the closest I got to excited was the idea that it was sort of trying to be the same thing as Snow White and the Huntsmen which I've got a strange affinity for, but thats not really a whole lot

Looked terrible, not surprised it turned out bad. The CGI from the trailer looks a decade old.

Seriously, is there anything worth watching in the theaters these days? I usually hit the movies frequently, but I haven't bothered since Django.

Can't say I'm shocked.
You know what could be good?

A film adaptation of Fables.

image

Handled right it's got the potential to be amazing.
It's got the Fairy Tale angle and the Avengers style Team Up angle.

It's amazing characters everyone knows and loves presented in a new way in the modern world.

Hell, The Big Bad Wolf is a Noir detective. How could that be more awesome?
image

Oh that's right, he fought Frankenstein's Monster in World War 2.

image

So, this movie sucked... Big surprise.

But, anyone remember the Attack on Titan manga? Apparently it's getting an anime and movie this year.


Looking good.

DVS BSTrD:

shadowstriker86:
yes, yes you are the only one who remembers that movie. the best jack in the beanstalk movie was actually in this review: the mickey mouse version

Mickey Mouse should start doing fairytales again. When was the last time you saw him in anything besides videogames?

Bioshock apparently

image

That accent makes him sound like cripky from Big bang theory.

Too bad about this, though I'm not surprised.

As far as the Jack and the Beanstalk/Giant Killer thing, these actually are related. They both come from the English/Appalachian "Jack Tales" -a whole group of folk tales from an ancient oral tradition that has roots, probably, in the Anglo-Saxon period and parallels in the Hans stories in other Germanic Languages. (e.g., Hans im Glück)

It's weird... even the over-exposed trailers completely turned me off of this movie. Everything about it seemed obligatory and by-the-numbers, from the cgi-o-rama to the near-miss impalement they use to end every version of the trailer.

It really is a crap season for movies, isn't it...?

Froggy Slayer:
Bob, did you...

Did you just admit that you like something Amazing Spider-Man related? Now I hope that the next one blows you out of the water.

I was surprised too. Is that image at the end the poster for the next movie? Why does he think it's a "good start"?

minnull:
Can't say that I'm really surprised this film ended up being a dudd. Next up, Mary: Rise of the Nano Lambs

For some reason...I actually want to see what someone WOULD come up with for that. Though, probably not as a movie but a humorous sendup of this trend mentioend by Bob about adding grit to classic fairy tales. Like maybe showing the old woman who lives in a shoe on a made up episode of Hoarders or something.

CAPTCHA: in the doldrums

Yeah...that about sums up all these grit-added fairy tales, doesn't it?

Caffeine_Bombed:
Jeez, what's next? A grittier Wizard of Oz movie? Hahaha...wait, wha-?

Whether it's gong to be good or not, it most definately doesn't look gritty. It actually looks quite colourful, and the story seems to be no more gritty than the original movie, just more jazzed up.

I don't think there's ever going to be an Oz movie more gritty than Return to Oz:

Huh, guess there's a good reason this one wasn't even on my radar then.

I have taken your opinion into consideration, but will probably end up watching this a few months down the line, just because I really like Ewan.

Which is literally the only reason I'd watch it. I have absolutely no interest in these 'gritty fairy tale reboots,' and have absolutely no idea why they seem to be the current trend. I think we need to bring up some new screenwriters or something.

Here's my biggest take-away from this movie being less then stellar: if it turns out that Brian Singer isn't that great, were the decent X-Men movies just flukes/outliers/lucky shots? Will the next X-Men movie suck?

Though come to think of it, maybe if the next X-men movie sucks Fox will let the licensing rights lapse and it'll go back to Marvel/Disney...

shadowstriker86:

DVS BSTrD:

shadowstriker86:
yes, yes you are the only one who remembers that movie. the best jack in the beanstalk movie was actually in this review: the mickey mouse version

Mickey Mouse should start doing fairytales again. When was the last time you saw him in anything besides videogames?

Bioshock apparently

I don't know much, but...isn't Bioshock a videogame?

Thunderous Cacophony:

Froggy Slayer:
Bob, did you...

Did you just admit that you like something Amazing Spider-Man related? Now I hope that the next one blows you out of the water.

I was surprised too. Is that image at the end the poster for the next movie? Why does he think it's a "good start"?

They changed Spider-Man's costume back to being closer to the "classic", widely-recognized one.

OT: I dunno, sounds like it could be worth seeing Ewan McGregor ham it up. I won't go out and pay for this one, but if I get an offer to see it with somebody else paying...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_the_Giant_Killer_%282013_Asylum_film%29

Asylum has their own version starring Ben Cross 3/12/3012!

This is the version I recall. It wasn't bad.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0061830/

Am I the only person who remembers this movie?

Dunno. But all this talk made me remember another Jack and The Beanstalk movie from a long while (> 20 years) ago. Sadly, I don't remember too many details.

I remember seeing it in the afternoon when I was sick at home. The most striking thing I recall about it was that its art style seemed to be a mix of Japanese anime and Rankin/Bass's cel-animated stuff. I also remember that the actual evil antangonist was not the giant, but a woman I remember as the housekeeper, or governess, or other Mrs. Danvers-esque character.

Might we be remembering the same movie?

bartholen:

Caffeine_Bombed:
Jeez, what's next? A grittier Wizard of Oz movie? Hahaha...wait, wha-?

Exactly what I was thinking. What is it with fairy tales suddenly being turned into these gritty blockbusters recently? So far we've had at least this, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel and Red Riding Hood. What's next, Sleeping Beauty?

Y-you hadn't heard? I'm so sorry....

Yes, that's Angelina Jolie.

He

DVS BSTrD:

shadowstriker86:
yes, yes you are the only one who remembers that movie. the best jack in the beanstalk movie was actually in this review: the mickey mouse version

Mickey Mouse should start doing fairytales again. When was the last time you saw him in anything besides videogames?

He did have a cartoon short show on Disney channel about 8 years ago..... It wasn't that bad.

OT: Well I can't say I'm surprised that it's bad..... I mean even the trailer didn't make it look good.

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