Unskippable: Assassin's Creed 3

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Assassin's Creed 3

Apparently the Animus makes you immune to carrying boxes.

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Hey! Who graffitied the ancient mystical door thing!

Remember when opening cut scenes used to serve to introduce you to the game's main character and the world you were going to be playing in? Good times...

Hey! Hey Desmond! Do you even lift?

you, miss, have a funny hat!

Not to pick nits, but it wasn't C.S. Lewis that wrote Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It was Lewis Carroll.

John de Lancie provides in-game voiceover. Invalidity of many arguments ensues.

"Only if their life was cool"
Actually, at one point, Rebecca writes that she tred the Animus, but her ancestor was a redcoat on a firing line, and it was just too boring...

Has anyone noticed that Desmond only has male ancestors?

Putting a glowing orb-like thing in a niche. I'm getting flashbacks to Final Fantasy X. You think Square-Enix should sue?

First thought was "Yaaaaas! Q!"

Doesn't John Delance just have one of those really distinctive cool voices?

canadamus_prime:
Hey! Who graffitied the ancient mystical door thing!

Damn teens! *Shakes cane* Back in my day, we treated the dread portal containing the souls of dead gods and the key to humanity's salvation with a little respect. We called it common courtesy.

OT: Surprised you didn't tear apart the foggy 'weather' outside the van. Seriously, every cutscene in the van is just them sitting there, driving through that think white soup, with the same damn tree passing them every 6 seconds.

Thunderous Cacophony:
OT: Surprised you didn't tear apart the foggy 'weather' outside the van. Seriously, every cutscene in the van is just them sitting there, driving through that think white soup, with the same damn tree passing them every 6 seconds.

Thats because its not a cutscene, its a loading screen. Having complex, varied scenery pass by would kind of defeat the point.

Pete1001:

Thunderous Cacophony:
OT: Surprised you didn't tear apart the foggy 'weather' outside the van. Seriously, every cutscene in the van is just them sitting there, driving through that think white soup, with the same damn tree passing them every 6 seconds.

Thats because its not a cutscene, its a loading screen. Having complex, varied scenery pass by would kind of defeat the point.

And now I feel silly. Thanks for the info, Pete.

Thunderous Cacophony:
[quote="canadamus_prime" post="6.403175.16655275"]

OT: Surprised you didn't tear apart the foggy 'weather' outside the van. Seriously, every cutscene in the van is just them sitting there, driving through that think white soup, with the same damn tree passing them every 6 seconds.

The funny thing is that the van has the wheel on the left, like a US vehicle, but they're driving on the left, like the UK. Or maybe Shaun just DEMANDS to drive on the left, no matter where he is.

The Gentleman:
Has anyone noticed that Desmond only has male ancestors?

I was going to argue that influential women, while not unheard-of, have been relatively few and far between for most of history, but then I remembered that this is a series in which the main character enters the memories of his ancestrors through his DNA. Realism has long since ceased to be a priority of any kind.

Bring on the animus-powered genderbend!

And then their was that ancestor that was a medieval cobbler... with the power of arch-support I will save... you thousands in podiatry bills.

Gammaj4:

The Gentleman:
Has anyone noticed that Desmond only has male ancestors?

I was going to argue that influential women, while not unheard-of, have been relatively few and far between for most of history, but then I remembered that this is a series in which the main character enters the memories of his ancestrors through his DNA. Realism has long since ceased to be a priority of any kind.

Bring on the animus-powered genderbend!

Not to mention that the Assassins have been remarkably progressive in terms of gender equality and the few female characters of note outside the Assassins were all very strong women, and Ezio's second game has him bedding one (Christina) before he even makes Rome in the greatest "why exactly do we have to get all this gear again" explanations ever...

Wow. I'd forgotten how incredibly uninspired, dull and ugly the AC3 opening was.

Damn you for bringing it all back!

Radio crack (and too many numbers) made me laugh out loud.

The Gentleman:
Has anyone noticed that Desmond only has male ancestors?

The Animus does only seem to work on the Y chromosome or something. Since even the transitions you go form Altair-Altair's son, and Hatham-Connor. Its always the paternal line rather then the maternal one being followed.

Seth Carter:

The Gentleman:
Has anyone noticed that Desmond only has male ancestors?

The Animus does only seem to work on the Y chromosome or something. Since even the transitions you go form Altair-Altair's son, and Hatham-Connor. Its always the paternal line rather then the maternal one being followed.

I heard its much easier to trace a bloodline through males because of XY chromosomes.

He hasn't absorbed the memories of any ancestors that knew how to carry crates yet.

Rex Dark:
He hasn't absorbed the memories of any ancestors that knew how to carry crates yet.

Ah, but that's where you're wrong. There was a point early on in AC2 where Ezio was, in fact, carrying a box.

Although I guess that it could be argued that Desmond hasn't absorbed the necessary level of box-carrying-skills to be able to carry boxes himself. :P

Oh whoops, I seem to have accidentally pressed the quote button when I was looking for the edit button.

Just move along! Nothing to see here!

Implied Italian Sex = new band name.

Speaking of which, I like how those boxes make them look like a band looking for somewhere to set up for their gig.

I especially appreciated them telling me how action packed the van ride was!

xptn40S:

Rex Dark:
He hasn't absorbed the memories of any ancestors that knew how to carry crates yet.

Ah, but that's where you're wrong. There was a point early on in AC2 where Ezio was, in fact, carrying a box.

Although I guess that it could be argued that Desmond hasn't absorbed the necessary level of box-carrying-skills to be able to carry boxes himself. :P

He did?
I don't remember that...
Well, I guess not enough of that skill has been absorbed...
Not enough to name the game Boxcarriers Creed at least.

The Gentleman:

Gammaj4:

The Gentleman:
Has anyone noticed that Desmond only has male ancestors?

I was going to argue that influential women, while not unheard-of, have been relatively few and far between for most of history, but then I remembered that this is a series in which the main character enters the memories of his ancestrors through his DNA. Realism has long since ceased to be a priority of any kind.

Bring on the animus-powered genderbend!

Not to mention that the Assassins have been remarkably progressive in terms of gender equality and the few female characters of note outside the Assassins were all very strong women, and Ezio's second game has him bedding one (Christina) before he even makes Rome in the greatest "why exactly do we have to get all this gear again" explanations ever...

minor nitpick: that was Caterina Sforza that Ezio had just nailed at the beginning of Brotherhood, but you're otherwise spot on. I believe the first two apprentices you get in Brotherhood are women, as are, I think, half of the Assassin recruit side missions in Revelations.

Aptspire:
"Only if their life was cool"
Actually, at one point, Rebecca writes that she tred the Animus, but her ancestor was a redcoat on a firing line, and it was just too boring...

I remember that from either AC:II or Brotherhood, but I think she said Hessian (or was it Prussian?).

Rblade:
you, miss, have a funny hat!

They could have also had Minerva say "Pull my finger" or "Kneel before Zod!", but I think those were too obvious.

Oh John DeLancie, how I love thee.

Thunderous Cacophony:
OT: Surprised you didn't tear apart the foggy 'weather' outside the van. Seriously, every cutscene in the van is just them sitting there, driving through that think white soup, with the same damn tree passing them every 6 seconds.

Also when they get out of the van it's a bright sunny day.

My first thought as the game started:
"Uh... it's December 25th. Threat of impending doom somewhat lessened."

My second thought: (lifted almost exactly from MST3K's Time Chasers)
"Wait, this isn't the star, is it? I will not accept this as the star! Sorry!"

Gammaj4:

The Gentleman:
Has anyone noticed that Desmond only has male ancestors?

I was going to argue that influential women, while not unheard-of, have been relatively few and far between for most of history, but then I remembered that this is a series in which the main character enters the memories of his ancestrors through his DNA. Realism has long since ceased to be a priority of any kind.

Bring on the animus-powered genderbend!

There's also the fact that they pick characters for you to play as from history who either don't exist, or drop off the history books. So there really isn't any reason why we shouldn't be able to play as a woman.

"Heavy is the burden of this magical apple"
"Well heavier is the burden of this fucking CRATE"

Well assasins don't tend to be known for their social skills...

Rex Dark:

xptn40S:

Rex Dark:
He hasn't absorbed the memories of any ancestors that knew how to carry crates yet.

Ah, but that's where you're wrong. There was a point early on in AC2 where Ezio was, in fact, carrying a box.

Although I guess that it could be argued that Desmond hasn't absorbed the necessary level of box-carrying-skills to be able to carry boxes himself. :P

He did?
I don't remember that...
Well, I guess not enough of that skill has been absorbed...
Not enough to name the game Boxcarriers Creed at least.

Boxcarriers Creed 2: Moving Day
Boxcarriers Creed 3: Holy Kreptackles! More Boxes?!

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