Unskippable: Hitman Absolution

Hitman Absolution

Agent 47's super secret assassination organization must work with some sort of super secret stamp manufacturer.

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Now I want a stamp that says "Kill Order" so I can stamp it on my lunch.

47 flavors... of DEATH
From now on I'm gunna call him Lactose Intolerance.

The Agency: Good at killing, great at extremely detailed paper trails...

Graham, Paul, you're both wrong.

It's obviously Vertical-Line-Circle (or Oval, depending on the font) Vertical-Line-nteractive.

Plus, I so wanna die from dairyboarding. That sounds beyond awesome.

Also, how the F are you supposed to pronounce "Pshenychnyy"??? I mean, really? It ends with a double Y???

Ah, David Bateson, continue to lull me into a false sense of not-going-to-kill-me with your dulcet tones.

That also may have been the quietest controvery-slash-resolution in recent years, probably because, until Adam Jensen never asked to revive the Deus Ex franchise, Tomb Raider loomed large over all things Eidos.

Dairyboarding? How monstrous...

It's running the "1o" command and piping the result to "nteractive."

Obviously.

Graham almost got the pronunciation of that name, it starts with a P sound then you go "she" as in shed and it's knee-chknee. More or less.

JSW:
It's running the "1o" command and piping the result to "nteractive."

Obviously.

Not many would appreciate the joke, but I do, thanks. :)

Aptspire:
Dairyboarding? How monstrous...

However just the kind of torture you would expect from a person working for one of Sweden's largest grocery chains.

Aptspire:
Dairyboarding? How monstrous...

I can't decide whether drowning in slushies would be the worst or best death ever.

lol Dairy Boarding

LOL Death by BRAIN Freeze!

Dairy boarding is a good way to torture people who are lactose intolerant.

Meh I wouldn't want a robot hand for obvious reasons but in saying so I am getting tried of getting cuts on my fingers from work recently (danm sharp edges).

You make fun of the Russian but don't mention that Powers Boothe is in the game?

Oow. One of the better ones in recent times. Already started off really well with the Square Enix hair quip and kept going strong. Good show.

That last bit was hilarious; I almost choked on my coke when Graham said dairyboarding XD

MonkeyPunch:
Oow. One of the better ones in recent times. Already started off really well with the Square Enix hair quip and kept going strong. Good show.

They could have made a joke about how Square's letting them wear more sensible clothing, but this was a good one. I liked how they pointed out how the Agency has a mountain of paperwork involved in whacking someone. The Brotherhood of Assassins isn't that bureaucratic, are they?

I prefer my death with soy thank you very much. I'll pay the 50p upcharge.

Fun fact of the Day. Margaret Thatcher, Former U.K. Prime Minister, was on the team that invented Mr. Whippy ice cream...... She was a Chemist before she moved into all that messy politics.

Lawsuit from the Dairy Board incoming in 3... 2... 1...

Lego City Undercover actually has a running joke about ice cream torture.

I have a rubber "Kill Order" stamp. I use it on most of my bills.

But if I could be serious for a moment....

Tech team edit: The following image host causes Chrome to throw a fit and block this page, so I've removed the embed. Firefox at least just blocks the image, like a rational browser
http://cdn.ripten.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/hitman-absolution_title-600x334.png
Tech team edit ends here

Well, that was random.

I like how his torso shrinks to fit the suit. Awesome superpower.

And yes, Paul. ALWAYS check the wire in your garrotte. One day, this information could save your life.

"A job for a scalpel, not a hammer" implies that either could accomplish the task, but that a scalpel would be a better choice. Seriously, can anyone name a SINGLE task that either one of those tools would work for? Jesus, dialogue writers...really?

"I'm pretty sure brain freeze torture is outlawed by the Geneva Convention."
"It's called dairy-boarding."

I LOLed.

eframson:
"A job for a scalpel, not a hammer" implies that either could accomplish the task, but that a scalpel would be a better choice. Seriously, can anyone name a SINGLE task that either one of those tools would work for? Jesus, dialogue writers...really?

Either one of them could puncture a tire (assuming your hammer had a claw on the back). But I don't think his sentence implies either could accomplish the task.

Fun fact - If you scan in Agent 47's barcode, apparently it belongs to a dildo holding bag, according to this GamesRadar article anyway.

That last joke was one for the unskippable history books; very funny.

 

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